Chapter 26
Sadie
After Jane leaves and James goes on his call, I pick up my Brandon Sanderson book, but it takes me a long time to be drawn into another world.
His parents return, and James surfaces briefly to say goodbye before they head back to Philly.
Jane’s sudden appearance and all her strange comments about a break keep hovering in the back of my mind, like a ghost.
Later, when James appears beside the couch, it’s that time of evening when you can’t quite be bothered to turn on any lights. I blink up at him in the half-dark. His lips curl up as he nods down at my book.
“Have you been reading all day?”
I glance out the window at the gathering gloom. “I think I lost track of time. Have you been on calls all day?”
He sinks down on the cushion next to me, breath whooshing out of his body as he removes his glasses and places them on the coffee table, rubbing his eyes, long eyelashes sweeping his pale cheeks.
“Pretty much.” His hand comes down on top of where mine is resting on my thigh. “I like stepping out here after doing calls and finding you sitting here reading.”
I laugh. “Why’s that?”
He traces the outline of my hand on my leg with his index finger. “You’re a great person to live with. You’re always easy and happy to do your own thing.”
Is this a reference to Jane? “Not so easygoing when I’m cycling, though, right? I turn my book over on my lap and look up at him. “Jane said something about you saving to buy a place together. She said the two of you were on a break.” It slips out of me like I’ve been waiting all day to tell him.
He frowns. “A break?”
“That’s what she said.”
“A break,” he snorts and then chuckles. “When we were at the meal, my dad referred to you as my new girlfriend.” He grins as he winks at me, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. “It did cross my mind as we were talking that she might have turned up here to size you up.”
I gape at him. God knows what she thought of me if that was her intention. I was a fumbling idiot. “Maybe she wanted to apologize for last night.”
He grimaces. “Yeah, but she’s got a lot more to apologize for than one meal with Kevin.
Did she only come to apologize because my parents were there witnessing it all?
She’s never apologized for how she’s treated me.
” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry if she hassled you.
I have no idea why she’d call what happened ‘a break.’ She’s got all these plans with Kevin .
.. I’ve decided the best approach is to ignore whatever her agenda is.
Talking to her is like being caught in a revolving door: You never know where you’ll be spat out, dizzy and confused. ”
I laugh, and he turns toward me. “I’ll have to sort out that savings account at some point, but with everything that’s going on ...” He squeezes my hand. “Don’t worry about her, Sadie. I want to concentrate on you and me.”
You and me? He’s so close to me now, just like last night on the bridge.
The hum still lingers in my veins—the warmth of his body, the way his kiss turned every part of me into liquid heat.
His gaze drifts over my face as a small smile curls over his mouth, and he leans forward and presses his lips to mine, his smile curling wider.
I’m just about to pull back to ask him what the hell he’s grinning about, when his long fingers slide into my hair, holding me.
His tongue traces my lower lip before nudging inside, and a warm buzz spreads through me.
My hands seem to have a mind of their own, sliding up his chest to his broad shoulders, solid muscle under my palms as his grip tightens on my back and he tugs me closer.
He tips backward onto the couch, taking me with him, the hard shape of him pressing into me.
I brace myself on either side of his head, fingers tangled in his soft, dark curls, as my tongue touches his. He groans and shifts beneath me, hands trailing down my spine and coming to a stop against my tailbone.
“Sadie.”
I blink out of the haze that’s settled over me and lift my head.
He licks his lips, eyes searching mine. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do,” he whispers.
“Oh!” The heat in my face is a furnace. I start to move off him, but his hands tighten on my hips.
“That’s not what I meant. I think you can tell how into this I am,” he says with a grin as he shifts under me.
“I don’t want you to get off me. I don’t want to stop kissing you.
But we need some boundaries, because I might go too far.
All I want to do right now is pick you up and take you to bed and …
” He hesitates, teeth running along his lower lip. “Have you had sex before?”
“A couple of times.” It’s all I can choke out. I’m an idiot. Of course he’s realized how inexperienced I am. I don’t want to be that girl with him.
“Hey, hey,” he says, stroking my hair back where it’s fallen over us. “It’s nothing to feel awkward about. I just don’t want to ruin how nice that was, or make you uncomfortable,” he adds.
He doesn’t know the half of it.
I bury my face in his neck. “I can’t talk about sex,” I mumble into his throat. Talking about that with James would just be mortifying. His chest vibrates as he laughs. His hand comes over my hair again, smoothing it down.
“That’s fine with me. Just tell me when it’s good and if I’m going too fast.”
“Okay,” I say, groaning, and he chuckles.
His hands slide down over my ass, and he snugs me into him. “Like this?” he whispers, studying my face, which is no doubt still scarlet. “Tell me, Sadie,” he says, lifting his head and kissing a slow path down my throat. “Talk to me.”
“Feels incredible,” I gulp out.
He groans and shifts, mumbling something that sounds like awesome as he rolls me over and kisses up my jaw, finding my mouth.
His lips are firm, tasting faintly of coffee, probably because he’s been downing endless cups between all his online meetings.
His tongue strokes across mine and a shiver runs down my neck.
For some reason, I can’t stop touching his soft hair or watching his face without his glasses, dark lashes sweeping his cheeks.
He looks so vulnerable, less like a god and more like someone like me.
Heat has crept along the top of his cheekbones, and when I breathe in, his chest moves against mine.
His hips flex forward for a second and … oh. I arch up as a deep groan rumbles through him. He lifts his head and licks his lips, propping himself up on one elbow, his weight settling into me as he exhales.
“Christ, Sadie. This could get out of hand very fast.”
I don’t want him to stop. I want to … I run my hands down his broad back. I want to touch him and … my hand hits the bottom edge of his T-shirt, and before I’ve even thought about what I’m doing, my fingers are underneath it. All I find is warm, smooth skin. He closes his eyes.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, and he lets out a broken laugh, nuzzling into my neck.
“I’m more than okay,” he mumbles into my throat. “But I’m very into this and I’m trying to take things slowly.”
“I’m into it, too,” I say, my voice wavering.
He shakes his head and starts to prop himself up again, but I grip the taut muscle at his waist, and he hesitates, then brushes his nose across mine.
“I want to …” My hand slides around to his lower back. I close my eyes. His skin is hot and smooth and … “I want to feel you, and …”
He growls, resting his forehead against mine, and I stroke the muscles in his back.
“Believe me,” he says, “I want my hands all over you, but …”
I latch onto the edge of his T-shirt and start dragging it up, and his eyes fix on me for a second or two, and then his hand reaches over his head and tugs it up and off.
And oh! Acres of pale, firm skin are right there in front of me.
He props himself up, watching me explore as my fingers skim over his chest. This is … this is … I have no words for this.
The girl touches the boy, and he wraps his arms around her as they fly through the sky together.
He’s smiling down at me, but behind his smile is a burning heat. He’s so hard, pressing into me just where I want it. I shift against him and his eyes flutter and then close. That’s so hot. I want to watch him come.
Christ, where did that thought come from?
But then he groans, and I realize with horror that I said that out loud. My hands shoot from his back to my face, but he just flexes his hips, and then he’s moving, rubbing over me and …
Oh!
Oh.
My hands drop away as I stare up into his half smile, landing on his biceps as I clutch at him, rivers of current running down my thighs and up my body.
“Is this good?” he growls. And fucking Christ, it’s amazing. My legs widen seemingly of their own accord, and one of them wraps around his leg, and God, that’s even better—perfect, even pressure, right where I need it.
“I want to see you come, too, sexy girl,” he murmurs.
“Yes—yes—I …” I’m powerless to stop it. The ache is too hard, too acute, taking over every thought.
My eyes flutter closed, and that’s a crime because seeing his flushed face makes me feel like I’m flying. But I can’t keep them open. I want to arch, press up, and then his lips find mine, slow and coaxing, and my lips part as I touch the tip of my tongue to his.
“Oh, Christ,” he says, voice broken and hoarse. “This … I can’t …” A long sound tears out of him. “Sadie …”
My hand flutters down his back to the hard muscle of his backside, and God, if someone had told me earlier today that I’d be touching James’s ass, I would have assumed they were smoking something.
But he arches his back, breath stuttering, and then we’re moving together, a curling tightness blooming in my pelvis.
“James,” I wheeze out.
I’m not so inexperienced that I don’t know what’s coming.
His teeth sink into my lip as he groans into my mouth.
“I’m going to come in my pants like a teenager,” he grunts.
“I want you to,” I gasp, hooking my other leg over his hip.
He props himself on one hand, and his other one cups my face then trails down my neck to my breast as his eyes fly to mine. I can’t even be embarrassed, because threads of sensation are coursing from his hand on my chest to right between my legs.
The queen captures him with golden strands and explodes in his arms.
My eyes flutter closed … doing this with James … I can’t look at him.
“Sadie, sweetheart, open your eyes,” he chokes out.
My eyes pop wide to find him looking down at me, hair in some wild disarray. Did I do that? His cheeks are all pink, eyes glassy and bright like he’s overwhelmed. Like I’ve overwhelmed him.
“This … I want to come with you,” he whispers.
“Oh yes, James, I’m going to …”
It all coalesces between my legs where he’s moving against me, and I can’t take my eyes off his face as he tips back his head with a grimace, eyelids fluttering, and he lets out an unholy groan as we both go over the edge together.