Chapter Four Asher #3
When I was younger, it felt like I spent every waking moment trying to prove myself.
Every decision I made, every risk I took, it was all in service of that one impossible goal: making him proud.
But nothing I did was ever good enough. Every success somehow turned into a failure in his eyes.
Every attempt to impress him just made me look more foolish.
I thought if I worked harder, learned faster, stayed quieter, maybe one day he’d look at me and see someone worth loving.
He never has. But it’s one thing for me to acknowledge how painfully desperate I am for my father’s approval; it’s a whole other thing entirely to realise that I’m apparently so transparent and pathetic in my efforts that Andreas is starting to pity me.
‘No,’ Teddy says firmly. ‘He’ll throw a tantrum and, I won’t lie, it’ll probably be bad for a while, but it will pass. He’ll get it over it, move on to the next scheme. You know he will. You’ve been here before.’
I know exactly what he’s referring to: when I ruined the planned Grenada resort by trying to add a caveat in the contract that would mean locals would still be able to access the beach and come and go as they please.
My father was furious and, instead of negotiating, he simply cancelled the plans for the resort and blamed it on me.
He’s never really let it go and regularly uses it as an example as why I’m apparently ‘weak’ and how I just don’t have that ‘Vouvalis edge’.
I still don’t understand the point in opening up new locations in places like Grenada, and then completely sequestering ourselves from the people that make the country what it is.
That experience had been what I thought was the peak of my father’s rage. Until today, of course.
But the stakes are higher here. If I do this, I can get what I’ve always wanted. I know it, and Andreas knows it too.
‘I have to,’ I sigh, taking a leaf out of Andreas’ book and avoiding all eye contact with Teddy.
‘No, you don’t,’ Teddy insists.
‘I do.’
‘Have you both lost your minds?’ Teddy asks again. ‘Asher, he’s not asking you to bribe a local official here or to smooth over some scandal with a timely donation to an orphanage or whatever. He’s asking you to marry someone. It’s insane.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ I finally snap.
Everything about the last few hours of my life is nothing but insane.
It’s one thing to play along with my father’s endless parade of half-baked schemes, but this one involves someone else, and she doesn’t deserve to get dragged into whatever the hell the mess I call my family life is. I know that.
Teddy rubs a hand over his face. ‘Then don’t do it.’
‘You don’t understand,’ I sigh.
Teddy studies me for a long moment, his usual easy confidence replaced with a serious look I rarely see on him. ‘You really think this will change anything with him?’
‘I don’t know,’ I admit. ‘But I have to try.’
I can feel Teddy’s frustration radiating off him. His jaw is tight, and I know he’s using every ounce of self-restraint he has not to say something cruel, just to try and get through to me.
‘I just don’t get it,’ he says after a long moment of silence. ‘Why are you still playing his games?
Because I’m weak. Because some part of me still believes that if I just do this one thing right, if I can just not screw it up this time, maybe he’ll look at me and see more than a disappointment. Maybe he’ll finally see his son and the last two decades of rejection will all be worth it.
But I don’t say that. Instead, I lift my lips into a dry smile and say, ‘Why are any of us?’
Andreas purses his lips. Teddy scowls and turns to stare stubbornly out the window. The celebratory mood is well and truly ruined.
We sit in a stony silence until the car slows as we turn down a familiar road. I glance out of the window and feel a sense of ease and relief as we begin crawling towards my building.
‘Alright,’ Teddy says heavily. ‘Since you’ve apparently decided to abandon all sense and you’re actually going through with this, I guess that means that this is now a real celebration.’ He lifts his glass again and allows a grin to take over his face. To his credit, it’s only slightly forced.
Andreas nods. ‘To family,’ he says, lifting his glass.
I lift my glass too, though it feels like my hand’s made of lead. ‘To family,’ I say dryly.
Teddy mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like ‘dysfunctional family’, but he clinks his glass anyway and then adds, ‘And to Asher and – uh – what was her name again?’
‘Imani.’
‘Imani,’ he repeats with a nod. ‘To Asher and our new sister-in-law, Imani.’
‘What is she like, by the way?’ Andreas asks. ‘Is she okay with this whole situation?’
A dry laugh escapes me before I even have the chance to register it. ‘Definitely not.’
That earns a cackle of laughter from Teddy. ‘So what’s the plan there? You know you can’t force her down the aisle?’
‘Yes, Teddy,’ I say dryly. ‘I’m well aware. I’m still working that one out.’ I finally tip back my glass of champagne and let the bubbles burn their way down my throat.
‘Poor girl,’ Andreas murmurs as the car rolls to a stop outside my building.
I agree wholeheartedly. Poor girl, indeed.