Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
“Icannae believe ye’re right back to givin’ wee Agnes her lessons,” Tilly said as she walked beside Katherine through the corridors. She sounded almost let down. “I was certain that we’d have a ceilidh to celebrate. A weddin’ is an excitin’ occasion.”
“Aye, it is,” Katherine agreed, unable to focus on anything. Her mind had been scrambled since the morning of the ceremony. “But it’s me responsibility to educate Agnes. And Laird MacDougal said there was somethin’ that he had to take care of.”
The kiss from the night before and Liam’s immediate departure plagued her. She could still feel the press of his lips against hers. The phantom touch of his palm down her torso hadn’t gone away. And, worst of all, was the sinking pit that only became deeper with each passing moment.
Perhaps if I hadnae been so honest, he wouldn’t have been tryin’ to avoid me so fiercely.
“Well, perhaps he just doesnae want to draw attention,” Tilly said, sounding more like she was thinking out loud than looking to Katherine for an explanation.
With a soft noise from the back of her throat, she continued, “The clan is quite powerful. I ken that there are plenty of enemies from the past. I’m sure he’s worried about that. ”
Katherine hummed, gazing ahead without really noticing her surroundings. She tried to shake off the lingering warmth and the growing unease. They were almost at Agnes’s room, and she knew she couldn’t let the girl see any signs of something going wrong.
She’s nae more than a wee lass. She doesnae need to worry about adults’ problems.
The door to Agnes’s room was propped open, with the soft sound of her voice drifting into the hallway. It was unusual. Katherine hadn’t known her to be the kind of child who spoke out loud while playing alone. In fact, she was quite sure Agnes would say it was silly to talk aloud when she played.
When Katherine and Tilly stepped inside, she noticed the reason for Agnes’s chatter.
Sitting in her chambers, with his back straight and his keen eyes fixed on his daughter as she spoke, was Liam.
He hadn’t realized that Katherine and her maid had entered as all his attention was on Agnes, who was reading aloud slowly.
So he hasnae left yet as he said he would. I suppose he slept in his own chambers, to avoid me.
The realization only made her feel worse.
After giving herself a moment to gather her composure and ignore the strangeness in her chest, Katherine cleared her throat and adjusted her basket of yarn at her hip.
Keeping her voice cheerful and speaking as if Liam wasn’t watching their every move, she asked, “Are ye nearly ready for today’s lesson? ”
Agnes’s eyes narrowed, looking at the stray strands of yarn as she said, “Ye’re teachin’ me to knit?”
“I am,” Katherine confirmed as she walked over to the window seat where Agnes was perched.
She settled next to the girl, putting the supplies between the two of them.
“It’s quite a useful skill. When it gets chilly durin’ the winter, ye can make hats and gloves and scarves to keep ye warm.
And it’s a good way to keep yer hands busy and pass the time. ”
She plucked out a set of wooden knitting needles and handed them to Agnes before she retrieved her own. Then, she grabbed a ball of white yarn. Agnes followed her lead, picking a ball of purple yarn that was startlingly close to the color of Katherine’s wedding gown.
“Now,” Katherine said, Liam’s gaze pricking each bit of her exposed skin, “I’m goin’ to show ye how to cast on.” She sat up straighter, keeping her movements carefully economical.
Agnes scooted closer, pressing her cheek against Katherine’s biceps as she watched intently. Then, when Katherine fished out the end of her skein, she did the same. “What now?”
“Knittin’ has more numbers than ye’d expect,” Katherine murmured as she gathered the yarn. “When ye cast on, the amount of stitches ye use is all ye get. We’re just goin’ to make a square practice. So, we’re goin’ to cast on ten.”
She started slowly, pausing to allow Agnes to follow along with each movement. The first stitch Agnes made was too loose, the second too tight. She huffed, frustrated, unraveling her work and starting again. This time, the stitches held, not quite perfect but surprisingly adept for a beginner.
I was correct. This is precisely the kind of task she’ll excel at.
“Very good,” Katherine praised, her breath catching when she heard Liam shift in his chair. From the corner of her eye, she could see him leaning forward, seeming to examine their interaction. “Next, ye’re goin’ to want to insert yer second needle like this to make the first stitch.”
She took a moment to glance away from the work in her hands. Liam’s gaze practically burned into her. It didn’t seem at all like he was there to observe the lesson but rather that he was there to observe her.
Agnes watched her as she worked then said, “Can ye do it once more?”
Katherine obliged easily, ducking her head away from Liam’s gaze and frogging the stitch. Then, she pushed the basket away from between them and scooted closer. As she created the first row this time, she held her work in front of Agnes. When she finished, Agnes repeated her actions.
The girl’s clumsy hands moved agonizingly slowly as she threaded the yarn through the needle.
When her work on the needles looked nearly identical to Katherine’s, she waited for her next instruction.
Something about this kind of work started to click in her mind, and Agnes caught on more and more quickly.
“Ye’re a natural,” Katherine praised as she and Agnes slowly worked up their swatches. “I kent ye would be.”
“Aye, she is,” Liam said, finally speaking for the first time since Katherine entered the room.
It had been impossible to forget he was there observing, but she still jumped at the low timbre of his voice. Her head snapped up from the work in front of her. He was pushing himself to his feet, not casting another glance their way as he left the room.
As soon as his footsteps began to disappear down the corridor, Katherine’s entire body relaxed. She took her first full breath since she’d walked into Agnes’s chambers. Rolling her shoulders back, she continued to knit in silence, watching each stitch and purl that Agnes cast.
Her little hands worked diligently, occasionally glancing at what Katherine had done and comparing it to her own work. She went slowly, testing each stitch for its integrity. Her tiny body was held carefully, as if she were consciously reminding herself of her posture.
Katherine was surprised at how quickly the girl had become comfortable around her. While she’d been polite, Agnes had made no attempt to hide her general annoyance with Katherine’s volume and boisterous ideas. Now, she only met Katherine’s suggestions with mild skepticism.
I wonder if Liam has ever sat with her like this or if he’s even tried to teach her anything.
“I ken I can do better,” Agnes tutted a few moments later, unraveling her work before starting again. “I’m startin’ to understand how it should feel.”
Her perfectionism and her need to be completely obedient were lessons Liam had probably taught his daughter.
Katherine could picture him standing over Agnes, demanding she do things perfectly.
The image was so vivid that she looked at the chair he had sat in, almost expecting him to be sitting there again.
Blinking at the empty space, she chastised herself for letting him occupy so much of her thoughts.
She should be concentrating on Agnes. The issues between Katherine and Liam didn’t concern her.
Those were for Katherine to contemplate in the privacy of the chambers that Liam refused to share with her.
Besides, Agnes deserves to have someone who is completely focused on her.
Tiny fingers gripped her wrist, jolting Katherine out of her thoughts. She froze, glancing down at Agnes’s palm pressed against hers. She squeezed deliberately, trying to get Katherine’s attention.
“Ach, yer knittin’ may be better than mine!” Katherine said when she saw the pleased look on the child’s face. She squeezed Agnes’ hand back, feeling as though she were the luckiest woman in the Highlands. “Are ye sure ye shouldnae be the one givin’ lessons?”
Agnes smiled brighter, dropping Katherine’s hand and running her fingers over her stitched work. To celebrate, Katherine started clapping her hands, but just before she could sing the rhyme that annoyed Agnes, she pressed her palms against her ears.
“Nay!” she cried, sliding away from Katherine as if her song was giving her a physical sensation.
Agnes was giggling as Katherine sang, though, and Katherine decided that even if she couldn’t break through to Liam, she was making progress with his daughter.
* * *
Liam struggled to hide his irritation at just how slowly the preparations for their excursion were taking.
Stepping into the corridor after another tense conversation with Cillian that deferred their trip another day, he scrubbed a hand over his face.
As frustrated as he was, he knew that his man-at-arms had a point about allowing his men time to rest.
But we’re leavin’ to secure the lands tomorrow at dawn. If they rest too long, they willnae be as sharp. And each day we stay is another day that our enemies could come closer.
As he passed a window, he made note of the sun’s position in the sky. Agnes’s lesson should be over. Katherine should, by all means, be back in the chambers they were meant to share.
A room that he would not occupy or even share with her.
After he’d kissed her, he knew that they both needed distance. He’d let himself become too comfortable, given her too much space in his head and in his chest. She was too important to Agnes now. If he put her in danger, he’d be hurting his own daughter.
Me daughter is the only thing that matters. Her health. Her safety. Me wants are secondary to her needs.
Liam approached Agnes’s quarters, slowing himself and listening for signs that she wasn’t alone. When he was sure that Agnes was the only occupant and that Katherine wasn’t still inside, he stepped into the doorway.
Agnes sat at her table, her book of tales closed and within reach. In front of her was a stack of parchment, the top page filled with Katherine’s precise handwriting. As she slowly and carefully practiced each letter, she kept herself upright with perfect posture.
She didn’t seem to notice him there, her mind incredibly sharp from his own teaching methods. He had trained her to give each task her full attention. He used her distraction to his advantage, crossing his arms as he watched. She was so small and delicate, despite how she carried herself.
I’d burn the entire world for her happiness and safety.
The emotions settled so heavily in his chest that he had to clear his throat to take a proper breath. When Agnes looked up at him, Liam asked, “What are you doin’?”
“I’m workin’ on me letters right now,” she reported dutifully, turning the page toward him so he could see. “I’m goin’ to work more on me stitchin’ soon. Or perhaps I will continue to work on me knittin’. I think it is me favorite thing I’ve learned.”
“I thought readin’ was yer favorite,” he replied.
“They’re both me favorite,” Agnes said, unbothered by the correction. Her focus on her current task was absolute.
His eyes drifted to a piece of fabric held in a wooden ring.
She’d already done a bit; the stitches were those of a beginner, but her improvement was evident.
He could see which she’d done first and which were the most recent additions.
It seemed as if she picked up each subject Katherine taught her more quickly than the last.
“Very good,” he said, the words sounding stiff and formal even to his own ears. It was necessary.
He’d seen the way she responded to Katherine’s praise. Her encouragement was the reason that Agnes was working so hard. He was man enough to admit when his methods weren’t the most effective.
“What do ye think of Katherine?” he asked after a beat. “Are ye enjoyin’ yer time with her?”
Agnes hummed thoughtfully, returning her attention to her paper, saying, “She is too loud to be in me room.” She paused. For a moment, he thought she would leave it at that, but then she added, “But she is quite funny.”
“Ye’re perceptive,” Liam said with a nod. He lingered there for a beat longer before saying, “Keep up yer work. Ye are doin’ well.”
He turned around then, quickly leaving the doorway. He’d call a meeting with his council and make sure security measures were handled. Agnes and Katherine should both be watched more closely in his absence. Not to control but to prevent his enemies from taking advantage of his absence.
Rounding the corner, his steps slowed. At the end of the corridor was Katherine, gazing out of a window with her hair pulled back and her sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Along the smooth skin of her forearms were streaks of ink, gently tracing the bare flesh.
His fingers twitched at his sides with the desire to caress it himself.
Instead of turning before he was seen or marching past her to keep the distance he’d been maintaining, he walked toward her. Even as he moved, he blamed this on Agnes. He would control himself for her sake.
I’m doin’ this for her sake. Nae mine.
Coming to a stop beside her, he said, “I’ve just visited Agnes. Her education seems to be comin’ along well. I suppose I have ye to thank for that.”
Katherine turned, blinking once. Her long eyelashes fanned across her full cheeks, and her green eyes seemed to sparkle when they landed on him.
Confusion ran through her expression, almost as if she couldn’t quite believe that he had gone out of his way to speak to her. Truthfully, he couldn’t either.
“She’s quite bright,” Katherine said as soon as she seemed to process the interaction. She smiled, her lips so incredibly enticing, the expression so annoyingly happy that he turned his head to look out the window rather than directly at her. “I consider meself lucky to be teachin’ her.”
“I’d like ye to continue,” he said, his voice even and professional. “Agnes seems satisfied. And if she is satisfied, so am I.”
Then, before he did something else he would regret, Liam stepped away, continuing his walk to the meeting room. He felt Katherine’s eyes on him as he moved forward, but using every bit of strength he had, he resisted turning around.