Chapter sixteen #2
He lowered me to the moss to lay me down before coming over me, his weight a comfort, an anchor.
We kissed until the world faded away, until all I could feel was the throb of blood in my ears and the slick slide of our skin.
For a heartbeat, he looked down at me, wonder in his face, as if he’d never seen anything so rare.
“Ye are bonny,” he whispered. “The bonniest lass I’ve ever known. ”
I pulled him down to me and pressed my mouth to his ear. “Then take me, James. If ye want me.”
He groaned, “If I want ye. If I want ye? Are ye daft, woman? I can think of nae anything but ye. Ye are all I want.”
His hands came to my knees then, and he parted them gently, as he settled between my thighs and lifted my arse to meet the slide of his body into mine.
There was a moment of pain, but I knew to expect it, and I accepted him and all he brought.
He moved slowly at first, and I could tell he was giving me time, which made my heart ache even as my body became used to him.
I encouraged him to move faster as my own need grew.
I did not have to give him much encouragement, and it made me smile to see how desperate he was for me.
He slid deep into me, then out almost to his tip, as my hands gripped his shoulders.
The world faded away, and all that remained was James and me.
His hair was still wet, water clinging to his dark curls, and dripping water on me every so often.
His beautiful face was set in concentration with perspiration gathering at his temple.
We found our rhythm, all pain gone for now, replaced by need, by pleasure, by two people desperate to be one for at least a moment in time.
The tension of before built at a rapid pace, and I was soon raising my hips to meet his thrust, a silent demand for him to give me everything.
And he did.
He took me to someplace I had never been and would never forget.
What was there was his heat comforting me, his strong arms caging me protectively, his body giving me what my body needed.
My heart beat wildly, but when desire took me once more, and I rode the wave, then felt him do the same, and then he collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily, I felt his frantically beating heart, and I smiled.
His heartbeat and mine were in perfect unison.
We lay tangled together on the riverbank, breathless and spent. The reeds swayed overhead, casting rippling shadows on our skin, and the moss was soft beneath our backs. I could not say how long we lay there, but I was near sleep when James said, “Are ye tired, lass?”
A slow grin tugged my lips as I opened my eyes, turned to look at him, and found him staring hungrily at me. I cocked my eyebrows. “Are ye always this insatiable?”
“Nay,” he said, looking much like a cat that had caught its prey, the fiend. He traced his finger across my belly, making me shiver. “Tis ye. There is something about ye.”
I smirked. “I bet ye say that to all the women.”
“Nay, Katreiene, nay,” he said, and the look that settled on his face was so serious I knew his words to be true. “Ye are different.”
By the gods, if he only knew. I had to tell him of the curse. Nay, I wanted to, but not yet. First, I wanted more pleasure before the pain of truth. I swept my gaze over him appreciatively, taking him in fully, memorizing him in case it was the last time I ever looked on him naked.
I had seen what lay beneath tunics and plaids, but I had never seen a body as powerful as James’s. I could feel his strength radiating off him. “Do ye train all the time?” I asked, my voice husky with my reawakened desire.
“Aye,” he replied, moving now to hover above me.
He braced his weight on his arms so that his chest brushed my own and claimed my mouth.
It was a long, drugging kiss full of promise of what was to come.
As my heart beat increased with rapid speed, he abandoned my lips to lick the hollow of my throat, and then he drew a slow line along my collarbone, dipping lower, teasing my flesh with lips and tongue until I trembled with the wanting.
When his mouth trailed down my stomach and over my hips, I gasped.
He lifted my legs gently, arranging them over his shoulders, and put his mouth between my thighs.
I had heard women speak of such things, always in whispers and giggles, but I had never imagined the truth of it.
His tongue was warm and sure, flicking and circling until the world spun away.
My hands knotted in his hair, the only anchor I had as he lapped at me.
My hips bucked and twisted, but he pinned them firmly, holding me in place as he worked me higher and higher, the pleasure so sharp I cried out with it.
I shattered, body arching off the moss, a cry torn from my throat as the world broke into light behind my closed eyes.
I came apart in his hands, and when it was done, I collapsed, every muscle gone loose and boneless.
James crawled up over me, kissed me deeply, and I tasted myself on his lips.
I pulled him down, and this time when he entered me, it was slow, the slide of him a perfect ache.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting to keep him inside me forever.
His breath hitched, and he buried his face in my neck as we moved together, slowly at first, then harder as the need took hold.
I clung to him, nails digging into his back, and when my release washed over me again, James shuddered above me, his mouth claiming mine in a fierce kiss.
We lay in the hush after, my cheek pressed to his chest, his arms wrapped tight around me as if he could hold back the world.
I traced the curl of his bicep, the line of old scars, the pulse that thrummed beneath his skin.
I wanted to freeze the moment, to bottle it and keep it safe, a secret stash of happiness for the lean and hungry years I knew would come if I did not get my curse broken. My mind froze on my curse.
I had to tell him. I was terrified to let him close, but I was now equally as terrified not to.
I gathered my courage and looked at him. He stared up at the sky, his jaw clenched, and his brow furrowed.
“What are ye thinking?” I asked quietly.
He turned his head slowly toward me, and I could practically see his mind turning. “I’m thinking about how to proceed.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I have to take ye to the king still, but I want to take ye to the Dark Woods first so that ye can get the cure for yer patient.”
I took a moment to think before responding.
I found great hope in the fact that he was willing to take me to the Dark Woods now, and once he knew about the curse, surely he would understand why I could not go to the king’s court.
“Why can ye nae just tell the king ye could nae find me? I can nae go there, James, I—”
He rolled onto his side and grabbed my hand. “Listen to me,” he said, his expression intense. “Ye do nae need to be fearful of the king’s court. I will stay there with ye until Mary is healed. I will protect ye, though ye will nae need it. I vow it. Ye are a healer, nae a witch.”
“Ye do nae understand!” I said, frustration rising and my heartbeat increasing.
I had to confess. I had to do it now. I was falling in love with this man who had such care for me, who wanted to look after me.
I did not want to lose him, if there was a chance we could be together.
Before I could get the words out, James spoke.
“Nay,” he countered, “ye do nae understand. The king has promised a castle and lairdship to whoever brings ye to him. If I do this, we could have a future.”
If he’d plunged a dagger straight into my heart, the pain could not have been worse.
I stared at him, stunned. The betrayal I felt made the world around me go blurry.
It made sense now, though. James and other men had clearly been called before the king and tasked with finding me and whoever brought me to the king, won a lairdship and a stronghold.
My throat burned with the need to cry, but I swallowed down the tears. James was just like Alec had been. He valued me for what he could gain from me, just like Alec had. I had given him my body, my passion, my trust, my feelings, and he had given me heartbreak.
I wanted to rip my hand out of his. I wanted to jump up and run from him and never lay eyes upon him again, but would I even be able to find my way to Morgana? I had my doubts, and how many more men were hunting me? Were they like Siward? “I see,” I said, forcing the words between my cold lips.
He scrambled to his knees before me and looked down at me, his face a mixture of pleading and earnestness.
He was too tempting for my own good. I had known better, hadn’t I?
Hadn’t I concluded he was a liar? Hadn’t I felt confident he would gain something by delivering me to the king?
And yet, my foolish heart had chosen to believe in him.
“Ye do nae see,” he said, interrupting my inner tirade. “If I can get the castle and the stronghold, I—”
“There is nae a need to explain,” I interrupted, though I wanted to scream at him that no words he could give me would change the fact that he wanted to use me for gain.
That I was not worthy enough for him to simply choose me, and what was best for me, if those choices cost him his prizes.
“I understand,” I added, because he looked like he was still going to try to explain.
“Ye do?” The relief on his face made me want to slap him.
“Aye,” I replied, gently tugging my hand out of his hold, standing, and turning to find my gown. I had never felt more exposed, more vulnerable in my life.
“What are ye doing?”
“Getting dressed,” I said, my mind spinning. “Ye are clearly well enough for us to ride immediately to the Dark Woods and then to the king. There are others still hunting me, aye?”
“Aye,” James said, the heat of his response, tickling my neck. I could feel him behind me, all power and deceit, the bloody Highlander. I stepped forward, out of his reach, hoping he thought I put distance between us simply to don my gown.
“Are they like Siward was? Should I be fearful?” I asked.
“We should be careful,” he said slowly. “Conn, the only tracker left looking for ye, is a liar and a cheat, but nae a murderer.”
That, at least, made me feel better, but also reinforced my decision that my wisest course of action was to stay with James until I reached the Dark Woods, then, after I confronted Morgana, I would flee James.
I forced myself to face him once more and found him studying me.
I could not raise his suspicion, so I gave him, I hoped, a teasing look, and then I said, “Do ye think ye are able to ride hard to the Dark Woods?”
“Am I able?” he scoffed, playing right into my trap. Men and their pride. “Are ye able?” he countered.
“With ye by my side, I’ll make it there,” I said, feeling a swell of vindictive smugness that blessedly dulled the pain for a moment.