16. Hyacinth #3
I let go of the shower bar and reach out to wrap my arms around his shoulders. Zane tenses, but he stands strong as I press my lips against his.
“More,” I demand between kisses. “More, more.”
“Greedy,” Zane murmurs against my mouth. “So greedy.” He runs his hand along my back, his fingernails grazing the wounds and the scabs alike. “What am I going to do with such a greedy little thing like you?”
Keep me.
Lock me up, make me yours.
Don’t let me leave.
I laugh and bury my head against his shoulder. “Whatever you want.” Then I bite into his skin. “You should have whatever you want.”
“I already took what I wanted,” he says. He kisses me again. “Let’s get you out of here before we slip.”
What?
I frown as I realize the implication. With clumsy hands, I reach down to his slacks. He’s at least half-hard, judging by the tenting. “I can still… my ass, or my mouth. My hands.”
“I’m aware,” Zane says, offering his hand as he takes a step back. “And if I wanted them, I’d take them.”
Is he rejecting me?
After all of that, why is he refusing to fuck me?
“Let’s go take care of your back,” he says before I can sputter out a response. He helps me out of the tub and grabs a towel, starting to towel me dry.
“You can’t,” I say quietly, my hands curling into fists. “You can’t just… not. That’s not how it works. Aren’t you the one who broke in here? Take what you fucking wanted.”
Zane grabs me hard by the chin and forces me to meet his eyes, which are dark and strangely wild. “I did,” he growls. “You questioning me, Sin? I took what I wanted, and now I’m satisfied.”
My heart tightens, and I instinctively try to slide down to my knees. It’s only Zane’s grip on me that stops me. “No, Sir,” I whisper hoarsely.
My cheeks are blazing hot now.
He stops and stares at me. “You think this means I don’t want you?
” he asks, like that’s only just occurring to him.
He laughs, and the sound is as dark as the look in his eyes.
“Oh, Sin. Hyacinth. You have no idea what’s going on in my head right now.
” He squeezes my chin harder. “Go to the bed and lie down. I’m going to take care of you, and you’re going to stop with that bullshit. ”
Anyone else would have fought back.
I can’t imagine Lionel or even Avery placidly obeying commands.
Chrys would tell me to stand up for myself.
But I go back to the bed and lie down on my stomach. I rest my head on my arms and wait.
Something inside me calms, too.
All I need to do is obey.
He follows, and the bed dips as he kneels beside me.
I hear rustling, and I turn my head to see him sorting through the first aid kit.
“You’re going to need to replenish this,” he says, his voice much calmer than it had been in the bathroom.
“Do I need to send supplies to your door, or are you going to take care of that on your own?” He pulls out the tube of ointment, starting to rub some of it over the wounds on my back.
I sigh into the soothing touch.
“I’ll do it on my own,” I say. “I always do.”
Chrys and Lionel would do it for me, but there’s no reason to involve them in any of this, or get them worried. It’s bad enough Lionel has seen the state of my back.
Zane breathes in deep, then slowly lets it out. “Yeah. I imagine you do.”
“You can’t trust anyone, anyway,” I say. “They’ll betray you. Or they’ll get hurt. Either way. Better to do it alone.”
“It is,” he replies readily enough, but there’s something unfamiliar in his voice.
Sadness, maybe?
“But what if it wasn’t better alone?” Before I can respond, Zane starts to apply gauze to the wounds, continuing, “Regardless, I…” He trails off, then huffs out a laugh. “Fuck. I’m such a hypocrite.”
“About what?” I look over my shoulder at him. He scowls and pushes my head back to where it was.
“Don’t jostle your muscles.” He tapes the gauze down. “You need to take a break for a few days. I’m not going anywhere. You can go back to trying to kill me when you aren’t going to bleed through your shirt.”
“That was the plan,” I say. “Then a new job came in. It was easy enough. I barely broke a sweat.”
“Mm,” Zane murmurs. “If you say so.”
He bends closer to me.
I tense, expecting this to be the moment when he strangles me.
Instead, he pushes my hair aside and kisses the back of my neck.
My eyes widen and my mouth goes dry.
What is he doing?
“Don’t,” I say. “Just… go. Before this gets even messier.”
Zane sighs, but he sits up. “All right,” he replies. “If that’s what you want.” He stands. “Take care of your back, Sin. Or I’ll have to find you and chain you down until you heal properly — and next time, I won’t be sloppy.”
I laugh at his stupid joke. “Next time, I’ll cut you somewhere deadlier.”
“Looking forward to it,” he says dryly. He retreats, and the hotel door opens and closes as he lets himself out.
I clutch the sheets and squeeze my eyes shut.
I’m not going to do something pathetic like cry again. I breathe through it, and when the urge has passed, I gingerly sit up.
Time to move hotels.
I can’t afford to let Zane catch me like this again.