Chapter 18
MADDOX
PRESENT
I’m watching Braxton laugh with all the important women in my life behind the safety of the kitchen window when Dad finds me.
We haven’t seen each other since we were together in Alexander’s office, and I’ve been avoiding his calls.
I won’t feel sorry about it either. Not when he orchestrated this entire thing behind my back.
“How long have you known that Braxton was back in town?” I ask him, not bothering to look at him.
He moves up beside me and follows my stare to the backyard. “The moment she got a Realtor and started looking for a building for her clinic. I don’t think she knew that she chose the same one who helped Adam find his hockey arena and your aunt her dance studio.”
“So, Adam told you?”
Cooper’s dad and my mom’s closest friend since university isn’t much of a gossip, but by the raw surprise on my aunt Gracie’s face when she saw Braxton, it’s safe to rule her out.
“He was out for lunch when Dexter—the Realtor—got Braxton’s call. There wasn’t anything malicious about it, just two friends talking. The guy didn’t realize Adam would know the girl and come tell me.”
“You knew she was here for weeks.”
“I did.”
“And you didn’t tell me.” The words sound as bitter as they taste.
“I didn’t.”
I turn my body and face him, the betrayal I feel seeping from my every pore. He looks at me and frowns but stays strong, not apologizing or telling me that he knows it was wrong.
“Why not? I should have been told, Dad.”
“So you could do what? You haven’t even let us say her name since she left. Why would I tell you that she was back when I didn’t think it would matter?” he asks.
“Because she’s Braxton. She’ll always be my business,” I snap, pushing an angry hand over the top of my head.
“I don’t know whether to be pissed at you or fucking cry.
You blindsided me, and now she’s here, and I can’t turn and run.
Instead, I have to hug her and fucking kiss her, as if the past is forgotten and—”
Suddenly, I’m sandwiched between two tattooed arms and pulled into a tight hug. A ball forms in my throat. Dad has always been an open, emotional man, but hugging isn’t something we do often. This, right now, I accept this moment without a second thought.
“You’ve never had a serious girlfriend, Maddox.
You’re twenty-six, and it’s obvious that you’ve been holding out for that girl since you were five.
Your mother and I . . . we worry about you.
As soon as I heard Braxton was back, I thought it was a sign or something.
I knew you wouldn’t go to her on your own, and if I had told you when I found out, you would have shut down and forced all of us never to speak about it again. ”
“So, you tried to force it instead?”
He sighs. “I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you, but I was wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you. If you want me to go to Alex and tell him the plan’s off, I’ll do it. We’ll void the NDA and figure something else out.”
I swallow, stiffly shaking my head. “No. We’re already in it.”
Plus, the thought of never seeing her again now . . . dammit. She’s gotten to me. She’s started to sink her nails back into the holes she left behind. The ones that never seemed to close up.
We can’t go back now. I can’t.
“I made a mistake. I’ll wear it.”
Nodding, I pull back, rolling my shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tight muscles. “Mom and Addie wrangled everyone else into this mess too.”
“Your mom has her hopes up about this. Maybe that’s my fault too.”
“She thinks it’ll become real, doesn’t she?”
Dad smiles sheepishly. “You know how she is. Your sister too. They’re two peas in one matchmaking pod.”
“They’re going to be disappointed when the charade ends.” And I’m going to feel like shit breaking their hearts when Braxton and I go our separate ways.
“They’ll get over it.”
He sounds as unsure as I feel. If after eight years they haven’t gotten over the possibility of me and Braxton, will they ever? It seems unlikely.
Movement in the yard has me looking out the window again, and like a flick of a switch inside of me, I’m suddenly brimming with anger. The sight of Jamie with his hand on Braxton’s forearm as she grabs a glass of lemonade from the table has me heading for the door.
“No fists,” Dad calls knowingly, chuckling behind me.
I flex my fingers and say, “It’s Jamie. If he gets hit, it’s because he deserved it,” before pushing my large frame out the door and stepping outside.
“Have you shrunk since the last time I saw you? I swear you used to be taller,” Jamie teases her. I want to rip his smile off his face and stomp on it.
“I think it’s more plausible that you got taller. You’re one of the tallest wide receivers in the NCAA, right?” she asks.
My steps falter on the way to where she stands. Her question is like a blow to my pride—knowing that she didn’t keep up with my career but did my cousins. Jealousy pricks at me as I clench my jaw and continue on my warpath.
“Keeping tabs on me, sweetheart?”
I let my shoulder crash into his, relishing in the groan he releases as he drops his hand from her arm. Good, I hope it hurt. Sweetheart my fucking ass.
Braxton looks up at me, meeting my harsh stare with one of her own. “That was rude,” she states.
I slowly lift my eyebrow. “Rude?”
“You got some linebacker in you, Madman,” Jamie jokes.
“Is there a reason you came storming over here like an angry bull?” Braxton asks me, ignoring Jamie. My inner caveman likes that a lot.
“You’re here with me,” I remind her before glaring at my cousin. “Don’t touch her again.”
“Yeah, I’m aware of who I’m here with. I’m also aware that he’s being a jackass right now,” Braxton says tightly, and when I look back at her, I find her scowling at me, one hand on her hip.
Pretending I don’t wish it was my hand on her hip, I scowl right back. “When I’m with a girl, she’s mine to touch. If anyone else had touched you the way he did, I would have beat him into the fucking ground.”
“Lucky me, then, I guess,” Jamie grumbles before he walks away. Or at least I think he does. I don’t spare him a glance to check.
I nearly beat at my chest when Braxton doesn’t either. Even when the muscles in her face tighten and she takes an angry step toward me, I have to fight back a grin of victory.
“You’re a lot more possessive than you were before,” she informs me, as if I don’t already know that.
She has her chin lifted to look at me, and I pinch it gently between my thumb and pointer finger, holding it in place. The soft gasp that falls from her lips has me throbbing in my jeans.
“Possessive? Oh, baby. You haven’t seen possessive yet.”
“So, what was that just now? Jealousy, then?”
I take a step closer, sliding my hand across her jaw and then cupping her cheek in my palm.
The way she’s looking at me right now, like I’m the only person she sees, not Jamie or anyone else around, it does something to me.
Something that should scare me enough to have me backing up and calling it a day.
Instead, I take that one final step left between us and close the gap, hoping that she can’t feel the erratic beating of my heart pressed against her.
I’m aware that we’re supposed to be pretending, and maybe that’s what gives me the confidence to keep doing these things. To keep touching her and flirting with her. If it’s all under the pretense of a fake relationship . . . it can’t mean anything. Right?
I drop my head until our breaths intertwine and lower my voice. “And if it was jealousy? What then?”
“I would say you’re just as blind now as you were when we were teenagers,” she whispers before stepping back, forcing my hand to fall from her face.
My mouth fills with bitter disappointment as she rushes past me, back into the house. I watch her pull open the patio door and walk inside, feeling confused. So fucking confused.
“Are you even going to make it two months?” Cooper asks, his words judgment-free as he moves in beside me. Eavesdropping asshole.
Emotionally exhausted, I just shrug. “I don’t know if I’ll make it two weeks, let alone months.”
“Looks like you don’t have much of a choice.”
“Thanks for that.”
He looks toward the house and exhales tightly.
“What will it take for you to forgive her? You know just as well as I do that you’re more upset with her for leaving than anything that happened with her father.
You’ve admitted that to me more than once.
Hell, for the longest time, I was convinced that even if you had never played hockey again, you would have been happy as long as you had her beside you. ”
“What does it matter now?”
He shoots me a look that says, are you serious? “Don’t you ever think about how great things would be if the past was left where it belongs and we could move on and make new memories? We could be the three musketeers again. Don’t you want that?”
I twist my mouth in frustration. “I don’t know what I want.”
“Come on,” he pushes.
“Look, I know that I just look like a stubborn ass, and maybe that’s exactly what I am. Or maybe I’m just a guy with a good sense of self-preservation. I love you, man, but you don’t understand what I’m feeling.”
He doesn’t look as if he buys what I’m selling, and I internally groan. “I don’t? Huh. That’s funny because I remember losing a lot that day too. I just didn’t let her get away from me the same way you did.”
“What are you saying?” I ask through gritted teeth.
Cooper rubs a rough hand over his mouth—a tell that he’s trying to rein in his frustration. Not driven by emotion, he’s always the most level-headed person in the room. I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or not that I have the ability to push his buttons so easily.
“I’m saying that maybe you’re pushing the resentment you hold toward yourself for letting her leave onto her, and it’s keeping you both from moving on.”
I bark a laugh, the realness in his statement startling me. “Thank God you didn’t go into psychology,” I force out.
His smile is sympathetic, and I fucking hate it. “Yeah, maybe I’m just talking crazy right now.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I say lightly in a weak attempt to lighten the mood.
He lays a hand on my shoulder, and his smile becomes more relaxed. “You know I’m here if you really want to talk. Always. Think of me as Switzerland. I’ll always be neutral ground.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Cooper! Come here for a second!” Adalyn calls from her place on a high-backed wicker chair. I glance in her direction and see she’s waving her phone in the air, eyes on us.
I look at Cooper and snort. “Have fun with that.”
“She probably wants me to give her more advice for her trip.”
“I don’t suppose you’re going to tell her not to go?”
He laughs. “You know that wouldn’t work.”
“Worth a shot.”
“Loosen the reins a bit, man. She has a good head on her shoulders. Even if it might be full of crazy thoughts and ideas.”
Loosening the reins isn’t an easy task for me when it comes to Addie, but I don’t argue with what he said. He might not be family, but he’s been around long enough to know her just as well as I do.
“Appreciate the advice. And thank you for coming today. It means the world to Ma.”
“Just your mom? Come out and say you’re happy I was here to give you such stellar advice, Mad dog. I promise I won’t spread it around that you’re the grateful type,” he teases, grinning wide.
Rolling my eyes, I roughly pat his cheek. “Get the fuck out of my face before I smack you.”
He belts out a laugh and steps back, tossing his hands up. “You’re welcome. I’m here whenever you need me.”
I tip my head at the promise and watch as he releases an exaggerated sigh and heads toward my sister. As soon as he’s gone, that’s when the last few minutes come crashing back in.
Is what he said true? Do I hate myself for what happened more than I tried to convince myself I hated her?