A Spell for Courage and Comfort
There may come a time when you feel disheartened, as if you cannot face what comes next.
This working will help to center you, remind you of why you came so far in the first place.
It’s meant only for you, and there could be consequences if you attempt to sway others with this one.
I would caution against it. Forcing emotions on other souls could be construed as coercion, and there is a line we ought not to cross, even if we can.
I hope this charm leaves you feeling as you do when you first come home and you get a big hug.
There’s always a warm bowl of porridge waiting, and I tried to distill that solace and safety into a rite that would reassure you in that same way.
I’ve tested it myself, and it passes muster.
You might be surprised by how simple it is, but sometimes the simple things are the best. Simple joy. Simple life.
At my lowest point, you reminded me of this when you were a wee tot, barely toddling.
I put you down amid a garden of flowers, and you didn’t uproot a single one.
You sat in wonder watching a pixie sampling the nectar.
(Yes, that’s how you first met Shereth, and she told me you were a special child that day.) Most children want to take, but you only drank the wonder in, starry-eyed and full of joy.
This one is best cast quickly at the height of light. You’ll need:
Silver and garnet jewelry
Candied ginger
First, put on the jewelry. It might seem like such a simple thing, but objects have power.
Objects that matter to us, charged with emotional weight, possess even greater potency.
This is why I gave you the earrings I made.
Think of them as a talisman charged with my love, or you can look on them as armor.
While you’ve never been enamored of such things, the court ladies use their pots of paint as a sort of armor, concealing their true faces and presenting what they wish the world to see.
It’s another sort of glamour, my darling gem.
As for the candied ginger, it’s tasty, good for you, and it bolsters the heart and mind. You’ll feel it warming you from within, emboldening you and readying you for whatever the world brings. Nibble it slowly, or gulp it in one bite. That’s up to you. Your choices matter.
Thea
While the others are busy, I perform the spell for luck and light; I need all the help I can get.
As soon as I finish, inspiration strikes.
Tara. We’re near Summer, and she’ll unquestionably be useful.
Plus, I haven’t seen her in ages. She’s a young hobgoblin who boarded with Da and me for several seasons while learning about our customs. When Tara went home to Summer, I missed her terribly, but we’ve kept in touch, and we visit as often as can be arranged in the wildlands, even when the climate is politically sensitive.
Lately, that’s all the time, as Lord Liskaal is convinced something is brewing—that someone is scheming against him. For all I know, that’s true. But I don’t give a damn who rules in the four courts. I just want to live my life. Yet they insist on making it my problem.
At least I have a direction now.
“Let’s head toward the Summer Court. No more portals.” I glance at Kerboros, hoping he doesn’t take this personally. “We don’t know why your magic is compromised. We can’t risk using it until we figure out the malfunction.”
“A reasonable precaution,” he says.
Thank goodness.
“Everyone feel ready to continue?” I ask.
In answer, Zeph falls in step with me as Kerboros sets out following Rosa.
She seems to be willing to scout, but he might not trust her reports.
He’s known for coldness and suspicion even among the skeptics in the Winter Court, which makes the soft moments we’ve shared even more special and rare.
I remember the way he clung to me, battling terror, and the way I held him back, as if my arms alone could keep him safe.
Suddenly, I realize that Zeph is addressing me. “Have you spent much time in the Summer Court?” they ask.
I shake my head. “My travel is strictly monitored by the Lord and Lady of Winter.”
The rulers don’t trust me, and they keep me tied to court through my bond with Da and their need of my ability to keep hostilities in check through passive exploitation of my abilities.
That’s why I haven’t even been allowed to spend all the time I’d wish in the wildlands. I have…a quota to meet, I suppose.
“Why?”
Zeph is displaying an unusual amount of interest in me. “Why are you so curious?”
Kerboros likely thinks I trust everyone too quickly, but it’s more that I’m wary yet I don’t display it. It’s safer that way. Better to be judged as happy-go-lucky and not a threat than someone who needs careful observation.
“You’re famous. Stories have circulated outside of Winter about your pranks—and how preciously you’re held by Lord Liskaal.”
“That makes it sound like he adores me,” I say, shocked.
“Is that not the case?”
“Oh, good light. If that’s the current rumor, I’ll be lucky if Lady Valnevi doesn’t skin me alive. No. Emphatically no. He doesn’t see me as a love interest.”
“Ah, so you’re available. What about me, then?” Zeph wheels in front me, walking backward while maintaining intense eye contact.
They hold the fervent look as they slow their pace, letting me get closer. Closer. Then they take my hand, and—we both dissolve into giggles at the same moment. They literally can’t sustain the seductive expression, and I’m tempted to ruffle their hair.
“No. I don’t think we have any spark at all.”
“Alas, I feel the same. I don’t think I can seduce you.”
“Did you want to?” I ask, mildly curious.
They make a vague gesture, spinning to face forward and quickening their step. “It occurred to me that it might be convenient.”
“You’re so strange.” If I sound mildly offended, it’s because I am.
“Ignore me. That’s the advice Rosa gives everyone, and it’s usually the best course.”
I laugh, reluctantly amused by their self-deprecation. “She hasn’t had the chance with us. Between your sudden arrival and the carnivorous flowers—”
“Yes, it has been chaotic, hasn’t it? And there I was, ready for a nap in the spot where I thought I was least likely to be disturbed.”
“I’d apologize for interrupting, but I suspect I’ll need your help. Which I appreciate, by the way, even if I don’t entirely understand why you’re here.”
This is a test. I wonder if they’ll address my implicit curiosity or sidestep the issue. I can learn a great deal by what they don’t say. Earlier, I attempted this query, and Rosa stepped in; Zeph let her answer stand without offering any information of their own.
“You were trapped,” they say unexpectedly. “I knew how to help you, so I did. And once I’ve started something, I like to finish it.”
“A quirk of completionism?” I suggest.
“That and pure nosiness, as Rosa said before. It’s entertaining to participate in other people’s conundrums.”
They have a point. Da raised me to be helpful, which sometimes crosses the line into interference.
I don’t do it for amusement, though. I help because it’s what my dad would do in the same situation.
I’ll probably never be as instinctively kind, as my own nature constantly whispers to take and take and take a little more: Just a taste—they’ll never miss it.
I exist in a state of perpetual hunger, afraid of doing harm and becoming a parasite.
“This way, don’t dawdle.” Rosa seems to know how to find the Summer Court, and if she doesn’t, I’m too disheartened to take charge at the moment.
It stung to find out that we spent three days in Macha’s bottle trap.
This isn’t like the relaxing lizard vacation; I wasn’t trapped back then, just transformed.
And I was too young to put myself in Da’s shoes, so I had no clue he’d be so frantic.
At the moment, I’m scared to the point of feeling queasy, battling terror of being banished to the mortal realm and the slow, awful death that awaits. My biological family is there too, but—
“Are you all right?” Kerboros asks.
Lost in thought, I didn’t notice when he dropped back and Zeph sped up to speak to Rosa. “Do I not look that way?”
He studies me critically. “You seem tired. And…” He hesitates. “Unwell?”
“I’m worried. I hope Tara can help us, but I’m not sure about our next move. I hoped Macha would have more specific info, and that idea ended up wasting so much time.”
We never managed to find Nerys either. Maybe I should have gone to her instead. Unlike Macha, she’s always happy to have visitors.
“My fault,” he says softly.
“No, I didn’t mean…” I pause. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What does, then?”
I find myself telling him the truth. First because I don’t have anything left to lose, but also because I’ve come to trust him in the past few days. “I was thinking about my mortal family. In the human lands.”
“Do you want to meet them?”
I lift a shoulder, unable to give an answer. “I’d be lying if I said I have no curiosity whatsoever, but I’m afraid it would hurt Da. As if my curiosity would be the same as saying that he isn’t enough.”
“I do not believe he would see it that way,” Kerboros says at once.
I glance at him in surprise. “Why do you say that?”
“You two share an extraordinary bond. The depth of your love is apparent even to someone like me.”
“Like you, how?” I want him to clarify, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he fixes his gaze on the rolling green hills ahead. The wind lifts his dark-and-silver hair so it streams behind him like a banner. I like the warmth of his skin and the honesty of his eyes, and even the scars he hides beneath the black garb. When he’s not scowling, he’s—
Beautiful. I’m not afraid to shape the word silently, but it is a step too far to imagine anything between us ending happily.
At best, it would be a few stolen moments of pleasure, and I would feel guilty the whole time.
I’m promised to someone else. Part of me thinks that pledge holds no weight since I made it under duress, but my obedience is what stands between my dad and dreadful things.
This once, I’ll behave and resist temptation. I force myself to focus on his words.
“I regret my clumsiness in Macha’s demesne. I suspect you’re thinking about the mortal realm because you’re worried that you’ll be exiled there.”
That is unexpectedly perceptive. I clear my throat, unwilling to admit he’s right. I have questions about his connection to the swamp witch as well, but this doesn’t feel like the proper time for a long discussion. “Before the worst comes to pass, we have a week to find Devan.”
“Do you think—”
Before he can complete the question, Rosa calls, “The Summer Palace should be visible over the next rise.”