3. Monday, May 7, 2012
MONDAY, MAY 7, 2012
J ulia had no time to brood the next morning as she shuttled Paige and Robert to school. Then, like every Monday, she serviced the aquariums of the few clients she had managed to nab so far.
She didn’t get home until it was almost time for William to come over. By then, her mother had already picked Robert up from preschool, and Paige had ridden the bus home from school. Julia found Paige in the den, feeding the fish and listening to music through her earbuds. She kissed her daughter’s cheek, then ascended the stairs to the living room.
In the kitchen, her parents prepped ingredients for the dinner Julia planned to cook. Robert sat on his stool in the living room, practicing the two guitar chords William had taught him, over and over. When he spotted Julia, he dropped the guitar on the rug.
“Mommy!” he shouted, running to throw his arms around her legs.
“Hey, Tadpole!” Julia knelt to wrap him in a hug. “How was your day?”
“Good,” he chirped.
“Awesome! But sweetie, remember what William taught you? If you drop your guitar on the floor like that, it might break.” Taking him with her, she showed him again how to store the guitar in its case.
“Mommy, when is William getting here?” he wondered as they latched the case shut. “I want him to teach me more.”
Julia glanced at the clock on the wall. “Oh my goodness, he’ll be here in ten minutes! I have to change clothes.”
After kissing Robert, she dashed to her bedroom to strip out of her grubby work clothes. Ten minutes later, she at least looked presentable in a teal-colored sweater dress. And the moment she finished tying her scarf, William’s voice floated up to her through the open bedroom window. Outside, he spoke in a higher register than usual, as if addressing a child; but Julia smiled when she heard the jingle of a dog collar.
She flew downstairs to meet them on the front porch. William approached on the sidewalk, with Diego trotting alongside on a leash. Diego turned out to be medium-sized and almost entirely white, with patches of brown on his ears and rump.
Rather than meeting them halfway, Julia let William bring Diego to her, in case he was shy. But the instant Diego noticed her, his button ears pricked, his tail swished, and his tongue unfurled from his mouth.
Instead, it was William who smiled a bit shyly as they came up the walkway. “Julia, meet Diego,” he said simply.
Julia held out a hand, and after a test-sniff, Diego rewarded her with face licks. He didn’t jump up on her or bark; he just leaned in and let her rub his flank, his tongue lolling happily from his smiling mouth. Panting, he flopped onto his side, and she obliged with a belly rub.
“Look at you!” she cooed at Diego. “Aren’t you a sweet, friendly boy?”
“You’re already his new favorite human,” William observed. “Should I bring him to the back patio?”
“Oh no; bring him inside. The kids will be so excited!”
As they came through the front door, Paige emerged from the in-law unit. The moment she spotted Diego, her face lit up, and she yanked the earbuds from her ears.
“ Robert, Grandma, Grandpa! There’s a dog! ”
To both Diego and William’s credit, they only flinched a little at Paige’s impressive lung capacity. William led Diego upstairs, and the next few minutes were pure chaos as the kids and Diego reveled in their mutual delight with each other. The ruckus drew Julia’s parents from the kitchen, and after William unleashed Diego, they lured Diego onto the couch and took turns smothering him with love.
“He looks like he has a bit of Jack Russell in him,” Julia's father observed with a rare, wide grin.
“That, or maybe beagle,” William agreed.
“And he has the chunky neck of a lab,” added Julia’s mother.
Robert pointed at Diego and ordered him to lie down, but William said, “Oh no, you can’t talk to him like that.” At the apparent reproach, the entire room fell silent – until William clarified, “Diego speaks Spanish.”
Everyone laughed, except Paige. “How does a dog speak Spanish?”
“How does a dog speak English, for that matter?”prompted William.
Paige’s brow unfurrowed as it dawned on her. “You mean you speak to him in Spanish?”
“His family does, so I do, too.”
“Wait – he’s not your dog?”
“No. Well, kind of.” William explained Diego’s complex family dynamics.
“How do I say ‘lay down?’” asked Robert.
“Echado,” William replied.
Robert tried, and sure enough, Diego flopped onto his side and exposed his belly, to the delight of both kids. They rewarded him with copious belly rubs.
“How do I say ‘sit’?” asked Robert, after Diego jumped back up.
“Oh wait, I know this! ?Siéntate!” shouted Paige, and Diego complied. With a self-satisfied smile, Paige explained, “I take Spanish.”
“Now you can say ‘dame la pata,’ and he’ll shake your hand,” William encouraged.
Paige took his suggestion, and a chorus of approval ensued when Diego offered Paige his paw. Then, of course, Robert had to try.
William pulled dog biscuits and toys from his backpack, and Julia suggested they migrate to the back patio. Once installed at the table with her glass of wine, she and William could enjoy a private conversation while still supervising the kids and Diego.
After resolving the kids’ spat over who got to play with Diego, Julia caught William’s eye and offered a slight smile. He returned it and asked, “How is Paige doing these days?”
She shifted her gaze to the kids. “Better, since you saw her in January. After all that happened – you know, at Cardone’s – her psychiatrist added a third med, and that’s helped some. That, and the therapeutic school she goes to, thanks to her IEP. Janus Academy.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “IEP?”
“Yeah; it’s a legal document. It outlines the accommodations the school district has to provide for Paige.”
“Oh, right! I forgot – my nephew Xavier has one because of his Asperger’s.”
Julia's eyes snapped to his. “That’s Paige’s diagnosis. They finally diagnosed her last year.”
“You mean the public school district pays for Paige’s tuition at this therapeutic school?”
“If the public school can’t provide a ‘Free Appropriate Public Education,’ they have to pay for the student to go to a school that can.”
His eyes went unfocused for a moment. “I wonder if Kelly knows about that. Xavier goes to public school, but I don’t think he’s doing so well. What does Janus Academy provide for Paige?”
Julia blew out a breath. “Well, first of all, it’s a therapeutic school specifically for 2-E kids.”
William tipped his head. ”2-E?”
“Twice exceptional – kids like Paige who are neurodivergent, while at the same time very bright.”
William dragged his hand over his mouth and jaw. “That sounds like Xavier. The kid’s a prodigy with computers and electronics. Programming, digital animation... you name it.”
Julia nodded. “Besides a curriculum for kids like that, Janus provides on-call, in-the-moment counseling with a school psychologist. Plus, Paige gets intensive social-emotional, speech, and occupational therapy. None of which any public middle school is adequately equipped for. ”
Before William could respond, the kids and Diego grew bored of tug-of-war. William pulled a well-gnawed tennis ball from his backpack so they could play fetch. Along with the kids, Julia laughed as Diego hurtled across the yard with all his slightly-overfed might, his ears and tongue flopping around with the effort. Diego brought the ball to William, who wound back and hurled it down the deep backyard with an athletic flick of the wrist. It ricocheted off the fence into the grass, and Diego’s head swiveled comically in search of it.
Since Julia cooked dinner on Mondays, she excused herself to get started. After a while, William wandered into the kitchen, Diego at his heels, to see what she was making.
“Oh, it’s really basic,” she laughed, self-conscious about cooking in front of a former professional. “Just some penne with a sauce of ricotta, parmesan, and lemon. And some peas thrown in to make it more filling. The kids love it.”
“Can I help?”
“Sure; you can make a salad,” she suggested, reaching into the refrigerator to pull out the ingredients.
Diego flopped down in the kitchen doorway to keep an eye on both the kitchen and the living room, where the kids played Candy Land. His tongue lolled from his mouth while he caught his breath. Julia and William worked quietly and companionably to pull the meal together, and over dinner, they confirmed their plans for the next morning: at eight, Julia and the kids would meet William at the pier, head out to the Farallones, and return no later than four in the afternoon.
“You remember I showed you where the slip is, right?” William asked in a low voice over dinner, the look he gave Julia tinged with meaning.
“How could I forget?” murmured Julia.But as she picked up her fork, she caught Paige watching them with interest.
After dinner, William taught the kids more guitar chords, and then it was time for Robert’s bath. Like the previous night, William played and sang a lullaby for Robert. By the time Julia tucked Robert in and turned out the light, Paige had already gone to the bedroom to finish her homework.
Julia poked her head in. “Hey, you. Can I come in a sec?”
Paige shrugged and removed her earbuds. She was sitting on her bed with her lap desk, hunched over a spiral notebook with a pencil. Her algebra textbook lay open on the bedspread. As Julia closed the door, Paige laid everything aside.
Julia sat on the edge of the bed. “How’s homework?”
Again, Paige shrugged, her expression unreadable. “It’s algebra. I fucking hate algebra.”
“Paige…” But Julia remembered Clio’s advice – pick your battles. Instead, she said, “William and I were thinking of taking Diego for a walk. Do you mind hanging out here with Grandma and Grandpa?”
Once more, Paige shrugged, but said nothing.
With a playful smile, Julia mimicked Paige’s shrug. “Is that a yes, a no, or an I don’t know?”
Paige pulled a loose thread from her fuzzy blanket and wrapped it around her finger. “Mom... when William asked if you remember where the slip is, and you said how can I forget, were you talking about the last time we went whale watching with him?”
Julia reached into her jacket pocket and found the smooth cross-section of watermelon tourmaline that Uncle Rob had given her so many years ago. Over the years, she had worn it down even smoother, using it as a worry stone. “That, and because back then, he and I formed the whale watching business together.”
“What do you mean, ‘back then?’” Paige sat up straighter. “You mean in 2006?”
Julia nodded. “William and I reconnected at the restaurant after your dad left. He and I always used to meet outside on the pier during our breaks. Not just then, but also when we were teenagers.”
“So is that where you first met? At Dunphy’s?”
“Not exactly. We met at Cardone’s the summer before our senior year. I would walk across the pier to pick up the daily order of fresh fish. Eventually he came to work at Dunphy’s.” Julia smiled privately to herself, remembering. “Anyway, when your dad...” She didn’t want to say when your dad abandoned us and ran away. “When your dad went to Brazil six years ago and I needed a job, I worked at Dunphy's for a while. William was still there, as a cook. We just kind of picked up where we left off, meeting on the pier during breaks. And that’s when he pointed the boat out and asked if I’d be his business partner.”
Looking down, Paige fiddled with the little thread coiled around her finger. “You should have just told me he was your boyfriend back then. I could have handled it.”
Gently, Julia reminded her, “You were seven, and you were grieving your dad’s absence. Do you really think that would have been the best time?”
Paige started curling the thread into a little ball, then huffed a sigh of resignation. “No, I guess not.” She lifted her eyes again. “But I’m older now. I understand these things better. So you don’t have to be all on the down-low or whatever with William. I know you and he will want to… you know.” She grimaced, and it was everything Julia could do not to burst out laughing.
“Paige, honey, I think there’s a happy middle somewhere between zero communication and TMI.”
Paige smirked. “I guess.”
Julia patted Paige’s knee and smiled. “Diego’s waiting. Are you okay staying here with Grandma and Grandpa?”
“Yeah, all right.”
“Need anything?”
Paige shook her head and stuffed her earbuds back into her ears.
The sun was setting as Julia and William led Diego through the neighborhood. Julia zipped her jacket against the chill. She always marveled at how warm-natured William was; he needed nothing more than his long-sleeved flannel shirt, even here in the foggy microclimate of the Outer Sunset. For her part, she was thankful that she had worn tights and boots with her sweater dress, and her yellow beanie and scarf helped, too.
“What was it Mark Twain didn’t really say about summer in San Francisco? ‘The coldest winter I ever spent?’” she joked.
“And he wouldn’t have been wrong,” William replied, smiling. After another minute or two of awkward silence, he suddenly handed over Diego’s leash. “Here – would you like to walk him?”
Diego glanced back when she took the leash, but he didn’t seem to care who led him. He trotted and waddled along just as cheerfully.
They continued silently toward Santiago Street, until Julia remarked, “This neighborhood has changed so many times, it’s dizzying.”
He turned to peer at her. “What brought that to mind?”
“Oh…” She gave a joyless laugh. “Just a conversation I had last night with my mom. We were talking about how your mom is moving into that seniors-only complex. She thought I was trying to kick her and Dad out of the house and steal it for myself. Like I would want to live the rest of my life in the house I grew up in.”
After a minute, he asked, “What neighborhood are you thinking of moving to?”
“I don’t know, honestly. Probably something between my parents and my shop. Maybe the Inner Sunset.”
“That would be close to my mom. Your parents should look into that place – Treemont.”
“That’s what I was telling Mom last night when she accused me of trying to steal their house,” Julia said drily. “But they’re feeling so isolated here, and the house and yard is really too much for my parents these days. I’m sure it’s sentimental, though. That, and fear of the unknown.”
“Confronting your own mortality can’t be fun.”
“True,” she murmured, staring down at her boots.
“How long have they lived there?”
“Almost fifty years.”
He nodded slowly, thoughtfully. Diego paused to do his business in a patch of grass, and Julia watched in amusement as William promptly swooped in to pick up the mess with a disposable bag.
“Like a boss,” Julia remarked. He gave a single short laugh, and she added, “You’re quite the dog-dad now.”
“Diego keeps my blood pressure under control.” They were crossing Santiago, and the street corridor funneled the sounds of the ocean to their ears. “Let’s go that way,” William suggested, pointing west down Santiago toward the beach.
Luckily, anticipating that possibility, Julia had worn rain boots. After crossing the Great Highway, they climbed the dunes. But of course, May Gray had arrived, and the incoming marine layer spoiled any hopes of admiring the sunset. The wind whipped Julia’s hair and threatened to blow the hat from her head. The waves crashed with their usual violence on the sand.
William unleashed Diego and allowed him to chase his tennis ball along the beach. When Diego returned with it, William was staring unfocused at the waves, so Diego rested on his haunches to stare up at him and wait.
“Here.” Grinning, Julia squatted to accept the slobbery ball from Diego. After flinging it across the beach a few times in a row, she turned back to William; but he still didn’t seem inclined to talk. The chilly wind made their noses run. He sniffed and avoided Julia’s gaze, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
Dread and panic welled in Julia's chest. William had always been taciturn, but Julia, with her unfiltered motormouth, had always supplied the difference and drawn him out. What if the connection they once shared had severed beyond repair?
Diego had long since returned, but he had given up on both Julia and William. Instead, he settled down to gnaw on his slobbery, sand-dredged tennis ball. When he caught Julia looking, his ears pricked. Squatting, she lulled him into complacency with a few vigorous belly rubs before snatching the tennis ball and hurling it across the sand. Diego barked, bounding after it exuberantly. That seemed to finally snap Willliam out of his trance, and when Diego returned, he pitched the ball a few more times.
Still, to Julia’s anguish, neither of them could find much to say before it was time to head home. They descended the dunes and crossed the Great Highway. Julia, on William’s left, steeled herself with a deep breath, then reached for his hand. But William chose that exact moment to shift Diego’s leash into his left hand.
She didn’t think he had done it on purpose, but she couldn’t be sure. So, with her heart sinking, she shoved her own hands into her jacket pockets.
It was nearly dark by the time they got back, and since they would have an early start the next morning, they judged it best to call it a night. William gathered all of Diego’s toys into his backpack, and after saying goodnight to Julia’s parents and Paige, he followed Julia back downstairs to the tunnel entrance.
Julia squatted to bid Diego farewell and accept his kisses. It occurred to her then to wonder, “How did you two get all the way here from the Mission?”
“I have a bike trailer he rides in.”
Julia rubbed Diego’s ears and cooed, “You are one pampered pooch.”
“I rode all the way to my mom’s house,” said William, “and from there we walked.”
“No wonder you’re in such good shape,” she said, flashing him a cheeky smile.
Reddening, he said, “Don’t forget, I have an electric assist on that thing.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Sorry?”
“To stay in such great fighting shape. I mean, according to my sister, anyway. I haven’t noticed.”
His mouth hung open, as if willing the words to come out. She rose from crouching beside Diego and came to stand in front of him. Peering up into his eyes, she found the nerve to drape her hand over his bicep, over the blue flannel sleeve and his new mystery-tattoo. She murmured, “Alison wasn’t wrong, you know.”
His tongue darted out, wetting his lips. It was probably subconscious, but desire still somersaulted in Julia’s belly. By now, his face was the brightest red she had ever seen it, and as he scanned hers, he wobbled the tiniest bit. Her heart soared with hope, slamming against her ribcage; and she stepped closer, craning her neck. Rising on tiptoes so his mouth hovered just over hers.
To her almost knee-buckling relief, he cupped her face in his hands, and his eyes drifted shut. He captured her top lip in a soft, sucking kiss, then gave her bottom lip the same attention.
Resting his forehead against hers, his breath came quick now, and so did hers. He opened his eyes with an exquisitely conflicted look. A look that encompassed so much: tenderness, perhaps, but also regret, fear, and longing.
All he said was, “See you at the pier at eight.”
Julia reluctantly let go and stepped back, her heart once again plummeting. She gestured to Diego. “You two be safe.”
William also took a reluctant step backward. Almost sadly, he said, “Good night.”
Julia watched William and Diego exit the tunnel entrance down the front walkway. As they turned down the sidewalk, William lifted his hand once, and she did the same before retreating inside for another fitful night’s sleep.