Chapter 16 #2
“She did have a thing for you when you were kids, and it looks like it never went away.”
“She might be like one of those fans, in love with the character, not the real person.”
“Have you lost your frikking mind, Brody? Piper’s in love with you,” he says crossly, giving me another slap.
“Hey! Cut it out!” I rub my arm, even though Marv’s about as effective in a fight as a damp sponge. “We’ve spent the last twelve years apart. We’re different people now.”
“On the outside, maybe a bit,” he replies testily. “But in here—” He pokes the center of my chest. “You’re still the same kid I met all those years ago. Trust me on this. People don’t change. I’m twice as old as you and I know what I’m talking about.”
I shrug as if I don’t believe him, and his nostrils flare.
“Are you gonna man up or what? Faint heart never won fair lady, and you need to make a decision about whether to be happy or not.”
“What?”
“Tell Piper how you feel.”
“But I don’t know how she feels.”
Marv growls with frustration. “You kissed. It was real. Time for the happily ever after, numnuts.”
“But how? If I get the job, I’ll be in New Zealand?”
“So?”
“What do you mean, ‘so’?”
He shrugs. “She can come with you.”
“Are you insane? She’s got a job in Brooklyn. A life there.”
“A job where her talent is used to design a stapler mascot? A job she might not have anyway in a few months’ time?”
“I can’t just expect her to drop all that and follow me! What about her career? What she wants? This isn’t the 1950s, where her needs take second place to mine.”
I score my fingernails across my scalp. “Besides, she said she was excited for me. She acted like she was cool with me leaving. Like the kiss didn’t mean anything.”
“Acted. She’s protecting herself. You need to sort this. She’s a sweet kid and I want this thing between you to be real.”
“Huh?”
He looks at me like I’m too dumb for words. “You think this is just about the job? I care about you, dipshit, and I want you to be happy. Marisa didn’t make you smile like Piper does. No one has, not even me, and I’m the funniest guy in the room.”
“All ready then?” Erica enters the hallway and Marv and I move apart.
“Sure,” Marv replies. “Cara all sorted?”
“Yes. She’s the same size as Harper, so we’ve got her kitted out to cope with any weather Hideaway can throw our way. Hudson’s old boots fit you okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” Marv replies. “With his coat and muffler, I’m gonna look like—what do you call yourselves again? Hidies?”
Erica smiles. “Yes. You’re a Holiday Hidie at the moment, but if you move here, you become a full-fledged Hidie like the rest of us.”
“Hidie ho, hidie ho,” Marv replies. “Off to the library we go!”
Erica laughs, then hustles us out the door and down the street.
The sky is a crisp, pale blue, and the sun glints so brightly off the snow I squint. Piper and I fall into step behind everyone, but she doesn’t take my hand, keeping hers in the pockets of her coat.
“Piper, I—”
“Looking forward to story time?” she asks, cutting me off.
“I … uh … Look, can we talk about what happened last night?”
Her gaze is fixed straight ahead, as if I’m not even there, another tense smile on her face.
“No need,” she says brightly.
“About our kiss.”
She stumbles but quickly recovers, then shoots me a quick look. Her lips curve upward, but her eyes don’t look happy.
“I think we did what we needed to do. And … that’s enough.”
I don’t know what to say next. I may be passable at acting out lines other people have written, but I sure as shit can’t seem to write my own.
Faint heart never won fair lady.
I shake my head at my chickenshit self as we walk down Main Street towards the library, past decorated shops, and smiling people enjoying the morning sunshine.
I nod or wave automatically as people call out to me, my mind fully focused on finding the right words to say to Piper when I get the chance. I still don’t know whether to tell her the truth or not. I want what’s best for her, and I’m not sure that’s me.
The library is an old stone building, full of warmth, polished wood, and the smell of old books and freshly made hot chocolate. I haven’t been here since I was a kid.
I remember my mom letting me loose in here for hours, then sitting on the couch at home with popcorn and a beer while I acted out the stories.
I spent so many years angry that she didn’t take better care of herself, but therapy has helped me see her as a loving mom who did the best she could.
Plenty of people eat badly and live long lives.
She didn’t know about her underlying heart condition, and it’s not her fault she died.
Nor is it mine for not being able to stop it.
“You okay?” Piper asks, snapping me back into the present moment.
“I was thinking about my mom,” I answer truthfully.
Piper’s gaze is full of understanding and compassion.
“The library was great because it was free,” I continue. “So I could read as much as I liked without feeling guilty.”
“Ethan was always telling us at dinner about books you’d recommended to him.”
I smile. “Usually ones about boys going off into the wilderness and having adventures, fighting giant crocodiles or going back in time to see the dinosaurs.”
“Yeah.” She smiles back at me, and my heart lifts a little. “Do you remember when you both decided the stairs at home were Mount Everest?”
“And we had to use crampons, ropes, and ice axes in order to scale it?”
“I thought Dad would have a fit at the damage to the wood, but do you remember what he said?”
I nod, still amazed at his calm reaction. “He said it was better we were doing something fun than sitting around playing video games.”
“I was convinced you’d both be grounded forever.”
“He never even told my mom about it.”
“Really?”
“I think he knew it would be a worry she didn’t need. He’s a good man.”
“Yeah. I’m lucky.”
The silence fills with the ghostly presence of my father who only showed up in my life when I was famous.
“I suppose you know he got in touch,” I say. “My dad.”
She nods.
“Of course, all he wanted was money.”
“I’m sorry.”
I lift a shoulder like it’s nothing. “I thought I’d feel more for him, especially since he looks like me. But I saw him for who he really is. A flawed man who couldn’t be there for his kid, and someone I never want to become.”
“You’ll never be like him.”
“I hope not.”
I gaze into Piper’s endlessly blue eyes, trying to communicate everything I can’t yet say out loud.
“Right,” Marv says, striding up with a thin book in his hand.
“The Night Before Christmas is taken, along with How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Polar Express, and Olive, the Other Reindeer. A Christmas Carol is too long, as are all the versions of The Nutcracker they’ve got, so there are only slim pickings left for you. ”
Mia enters the library behind us. “Morning, everyone! Am I late?”
“Nah, plenty of time,” Marv replies. “Brody’s on last, and he’s only got five minutes, so be prepared.”
“Cool. What’s he reading?”
Marv looks at the front of the picture book with disgust. “The Yeti Who Got Stuck in the Chimney.”