Chapter 14
14
Holly
December 23
Hudson Valley, New York
“Holly?”
She opens her eyes and finds herself staring directly into Aiden’s bright blue ones. He smiles down at her from where he sits at the edge of the bed. “I’m really sorry to wake you so early. But…” She thinks he’s about to pull her into his arms again, for a repeat of some of their most passionate moments from the night before—and earlier that morning. But then she realizes he’s fully dressed, hair still damp and shampoo-fragrant from a shower. “I have somewhere I need to be. So…”
“Oh. Of course.” Holly tries not to show how mortified she is as she pulls the sheet up around herself and crosses his bedroom, picking up her clothes as she goes. Is this what a walk of shame feels like? If so, she never wants to do this again.
“How are you feeling after the punch? Can I get you a coffee? Water?”
“I’m fine,” Holly calls out, scuttling toward his bathroom and closing the door firmly. She peers at herself in the pine-framed mirror, and is dismayed. The night before, she felt like a sexy vixen. Now last night’s mascara is pooled under her eyes. When she wipes it away, dark circles still stare back at her. She splashes water on her face and swishes some of Aiden’s toothpaste in her mouth. But then she has to put on her sparkly tank top and ultra-tight pleather leggings that seemed so perfect for the dance—but feel all wrong today.
In the kitchen, Aiden is waiting with a large glass of water and a steaming mug of coffee. “I know you said you were fine, but I wanted to give you something.”
“Thanks,” Holly says, still bleary-eyed. He’s wearing his customary jeans and flannel shirt, making her feel even more out of place in her outfit from the night before.
This is why I’ve never had a one-night stand , Holly thinks regretfully. This is way too awkward. This is not me.
“You know what?” Holly says. “I think maybe you should just take me home. I can have coffee at the cabin. Let’s just go.”
Holly stands at the window, watching Aiden drive away and feeling the ache in her chest she hadn’t felt for a few days returning full force as soon as he’s gone. She groans. “What did I do ?” She retreats to the couch, where she sleeps fitfully for a few hours, but when she wakes, her mind is still racing. She gets up and, in the kitchen, she brews coffee in the French press. As she waits for it to get strong enough, she texts Ivy.
Help. I had rebound sex with Eco Superman and now I’m freaking out.
Less than a second later, her cell phone rings.
“Oh, thank goodness! You’re back in the land of cell service! I’m so relieved you answered,” Holly says. “How was your camping trip?”
“It doesn’t matter. Good, fine, whatever. You had sex with Eco Superman!”
“Yes,” Holly says.
“I’m going to need a lot more than yes. Details, details! I need details.”
“Well, Aiden and I had the most perfect skating date yesterday afternoon. And we had amazing cookies—”
“Can we get to the sex part, please?”
“Okay, so then he asked me to a school dance in town—”
“That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, but I thought you two weren’t in high school anymore?”
“Not exactly a school dance, but an annual Christmas dance that takes place at the high school. And I somehow managed to thrift the sexiest holiday party outfit possible, and I got slightly tipsy on some extremely strong punch, tipsy enough that I started feeling quite brazen.”
“Holly!” Ivy sounds delighted.
“Then he told me he was the one who wrote me that card, back in high school.”
“What? The one you always cherished?”
“Yes. He wrote that for me. It was Aiden.”
“So you jumped him, right then and there.”
“We ended up outside, making out in the snow. And then…”
Ivy is now gasping with delight.
“And then…we had the most amazing sex of my entire life at his cabin in the woods. All night long. I’m exhausted .”
“Wait. All this is why you don’t know if you’re okay? You’re amazing! Holly, I’m so happy for you!”
“Yeah, but I haven’t gotten to the bad part. This morning, he was already dressed when I woke up. He could not get me out of there fast enough. He said he had somewhere he needed to go, and vaguely mentioned having to drive to the city for a meeting. He made me coffee but then basically tapped his fingers against his kitchen counter waiting for me to be done, and finally, I said to just take me home because I could not stand the awful morning-after awkwardness anymore.” This isn’t exactly a true account of events, but the exaggeration about Aiden tapping his fingers makes Holly feel even more vindicated in her agony. “That’s not the worst part, though. The worst part was when he dropped me back off at my cabin.” She squeezes her eyes shut at the memory. “He gave me a hug instead of a kiss.”
“Hmm,” Ivy says. “That is a little odd. You didn’t try to kiss him?”
“I didn’t get the chance. He went straight in for the hug and said he’d call me later.”
“Okay. So, he’ll call you later.”
“But what if he doesn’t? What if he never wants to see me again?”
“I highly doubt that. Mind-blowing sex is generally a two-way street. Maybe he’s just feeling shy this morning. Maybe he has this meeting to go to and he wishes he didn’t. He said he’d call you later, and I’m sure he will. And I’m sure it’s all going to be fine.”
“I’ve never done this before, though. How do you put it out of your mind? My body feels like a ball of electricity.”
“That’s a good thing. The ball-of-electricity stuff, that’s kind of why I do it. It feels good.” Holly thinks she hears her friend let out a little sigh, but then she keeps talking. “You don’t regret it, do you?”
Holly pauses to consider how she feels. “No regrets,” she says. “I did what I wanted to do in the moment. It was one of the best nights I’ve ever had, on every level.”
“And you found out he’s the sweet guy who wrote a card you always cherished. Be happy about that, Hol. Try to enjoy it—maybe even for what it was. Because even if it was just a great night between old friends, how can that be a bad thing? It could have been exactly what you need right now.”
“I needed this pep talk,” Holly says, and she does feel a little better already. “Thanks for being there.”
“Of course. Is there anything you can do today to get your mind off him?”
Holly thinks for a moment. “There are cross-country skis in the shed. I think I still remember how to Nordic ski.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“Plus, it was a super-late night. I could have a nice long nap.”
“Sounds like a perfect day to me.”
“So, how’s it going there? And who is this friend you went camping with?”
“Just someone I met at the hotel,” Ivy says as Holly hears voices in the background. “I’ll tell you more later, but I have to go.” As Ivy hangs up abruptly, Holly feels a twinge. She’s thousands of miles away from her best friend—and although she insisted she needed to be alone and that’s why she came to the Hudson Valley, the distance feels suddenly vast.
She pours herself a coffee, and feels somewhat better after she drinks one, then another. She dresses in her warmest clothes and heads to the shed to find the cross-country skis, determined to have a good day—on her own. Aiden might call, and he might not. Either way, Holly tells herself, she’s going to be fine.
Holly hasn’t Nordic skied for a few years, but once she has the boots and skis on, it all comes back to her. She moves easily along the drive and out onto the road, following the signs for the hiking trail.
At first, the path is narrow, and she shushes along in silence beside skinny birch trees covered in icing-like layers of snow. But eventually, the path opens up, and the trees morph from birches and elms to formidable evergreens. They tower above her, their snowy tops barely visible as they reach toward the sky. The trail widens even more, and Holly turns a corner—then gasps at the beauty of it all. The valley is laid out below her like someone shook out a blanket covered in picturesque mountain ranges and evergreen trees, all topped with lacy snow. The sky above is a brilliant blue, with fluffy clouds floating across it.
Holly stands still and takes it in, feeling the anxiety about Aiden start to dissipate. Another breath of the winter air and her head is almost clear. She thinks of what Ivy said, about how he might call or he might not. And she’ll be fine. She did what she wanted to do. She had a great night.
Even if they don’t end up getting together again, she knows she’ll always have a special place in her heart for him, especially knowing he was the one who wrote her the card she’s treasured.
She glides forward again, feeling the power those long-ago words have always given her, as simple as they were. They make her remember who she used to be—who she is around the people she feels most comfortable with.
The sun is almost down by the time Holly turns the corner onto the driveway of the cabin again, stomach grumbling, thinking over what she might make for dinner—but all thoughts of food fly from her head when she sees Aiden shoveling the cabin path. He stops when he sees her.
“Hey!” he calls out. “I saw the tracks in the snow, so figured you’d gone out for a ski. I decided to wait for you. Hope that’s okay?”
She stands by the shed and pops off the skis, then walks toward him along the path he’s shoveled for her, her shy smile growing bigger the closer she gets to him. It’s cold out, and getting even more so as the sun goes down, but Holly doesn’t feel the cold anymore. Her entire body feels warm, and her heart is pounding.
“More than okay,” she says. “I’m happy to see you.”
“Oh, yeah?” His smile is slow and sexy—and this side of him is new, the side of Aiden that isn’t just sweet and nice but also extremely hot. He steps closer to her. “Even when I acted like a total weirdo this morning, when I kicked you out of my bed and took off on you?” He shakes his head. “I’m so sorry about that. I did have a meeting in the city, but the truth is, I think I might have needed a little time to process what happened between us last night. I could have handled it better.”
She looks up at him and tilts her head. “And? How did that processing go?”
His smile grows bigger. “All I could think, all day long, was I must be the luckiest guy in the world . And the stupidest one, for leaving.” He reaches out, puts his hands on her waist. “Which is why I drove out here the second I got back into town. I couldn’t wait a minute longer to see you.”
Holly reaches up and touches his stubbly cheek, runs a finger along his chin, pulls his face to hers. Their lips meet in the twilight, and their kisses quickly grow fervent.
“Come inside,” Holly says, leading him to the door. Inside, she can’t get out of her winter clothes fast enough, and neither can he—and soon, they’ve fallen together onto the couch, lips locked, limbs entwined, exactly where they both want to be.