2. Blitzen, Kentucky
two
Blitzen, Kentucky
“ H ello? Helloooo ?” A muffled male’s voice infiltrates the space.
Archer?
I race to my talking laptop and open the screen. I haven’t realized the time, with switching over to a new internet, and unpacking.
“Where are you? This isn’t funny, Erika. I got up super early and did a walk of shame from a woman’s arms, of whose company I was enjoying very much, all because my best friend is having a crisis. I missed a morning round of potentially exceptional sex to get you coffee—and you’re not home.”
I watch Archer yelling and smile inside at the two cups of coffee I see on his bar, while I resist the urge to click on my video settings for just a moment longer.
“Let me guess. You’ve forgotten all about your misadventures at work, foregone being sad, and you’re off buying a Christmas tree for your too-small apartment.”
Keeping my screen black, I look around at the massive amount of space that surrounds me.
“Guess again. I’ll give you a hint. You know Dasher and Dancer and Donner and…”
“I’ll be damned. You went? How’d you get to the airport? Why didn’t you tell me? Wait a minute—you’re gone ? You just left? What about Christmas?”
Archer is spinning.
Clicking on my video, I smile reassuringly into it. “You can come here.”
“To Blitzen, Kentucky. No thank you, Erika with a K.”
I slide my laptop forward to Zoom back and show some of the house that surrounds me.
“Oh. Is that a first-class lounge at the airport or is that your crazy aunt’s home?”
“My home now,” I say proudly with a newfound smile I can’t hide.
“That place is sick. Leave it to Josie the insane to find luxury in the middle of Nowhere-ville, Hicktown, Kentucky. It is Hicktown, isn’t it? Tell me you’ve seen it and you’re miserable, so I don’t have to be jealous. What is that—custom built?”
I pan my laptop over the balcony that looks down onto an indoor fire pit in the largest great room I’ve ever seen.
“I should take the opportunity to explain. It’s not some tucked away mountain cabin, but it is a very old, very large Tudor-style, almost mini mansion.
Josie’s clearly had select parts remodeled, whereas other elements—”
I pan the laptop over the 1950s style mint green Formica countertop. “Not so much.”
“Please. That’s not old. That’s your great aunt. Josie probably chose that chartreuse shit show of a countertop for her color pop.”
“Hey. There are fourteen-karat gold swan faucets in all kitchen and bathroom fixtures.”
“Alright, I guess I could plan to come for actual Christmas. I’ve got to see this place. And I’d hate for you to spend it alone.” Archer feigns being tortured and I can’t help but grin back at him, proud as punch. “Way to bounce back kid.”
I’m going to miss him.
Every year, we prep for all holidays together. Or, between his noncommittal dating, he does the holidays big for me.
“Hey, it’s either the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, as it’s one more bad idea, or it’s the only thing I can do.”
Archer’s expression turns serious. “You do know they didn’t fire you, right?”
“Arch. Anybody who would turn me down or let me go like that… Maybe deep down inside I’m as vain as you are, but I truly feel let down by a firm I gave my all to. It was a good pitch, Archer.”
“Erika, wait—”
A knock at the door interrupts Archer.
“I gotta go. That must be Helen. She’s old. I can’t have her waiting out in the cold.”
“And this key is for the storage house in the back.” Helen chirps in a pristine voice as she hands the newly marked key ring back to me.
I know I’m staring at her perfect pixie haircut, and flawless make up, but I’m in awe.
Her sophisticated skirt suit is one thousand percent designer, and what I should’ve worn the day of my pitch.
The young woman screams perfection and, “I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I totally thought you were—”
“Approaching eighty?”
“Yes. I thought you were Great Aunt Josie’s best friend, and maybe trusted attorney?”
“Guilty.”
“Wait. You and my great aunt—”
“Are very dear friends, and I handle her estate as well. Come on. It’s not that hard to factor.
When I left the city to come back here, she was the most exciting thing we all had going.
Let’s just say she keeps everyone’s spirits high when they’re feeling low, and that goes double for this fish out of water. ”
“I thought you grew up here?”
“I did. But that doesn’t mean I fit.”
“Say no more. I know plenty about being a fish out of water. I don’t think I’m yet to fit in anywhere.”
“Nonsense. I think you’ll be a perfect fit here. Selfishly anyway, I’m so glad you took Josie up on her offer. I’ve been bored to tears since she left.”
“Where did she—”
Helen rises onto four-inch Prada pumps from the counter where we sit.
She heads to the door and grabs both our coats.
“I haven’t shown you what the last key is for.
Come now, as Josie would say, there’s always more to see.
” Her red lipstick smile flashes back at me, and I follow with no further questions.
This is unreal to me. This place, the town we’re driving into. Blitzen. It’s tucked away perfection. A wince of delight sparks across my face as I blink then blink again at the snow-covered mountains that landscape the picturesque highway we sputter down.
Sputter, roll, skid and occasionally slide into oncoming traffic.
From what I can tell so far, the people of Blitzen are genuinely nice, and quite patient with me attempting to drive the standard shift 1980s Volkswagen Beetle that the final key starts up.
Helen pulls her gloves out of a gorgeous briefcase that most likely costs more than this car, which is older than both of us. “Goodness, I don’t remember it taking this long to heat up last winter.”
“You rode around in this thing with Aunt Josie?”
“Sure, anywhere but where and when it snows. No four-wheel drive. Just keep that in mind when on your Blitzen escapades. Oh, oh— turn here!” Helen’s arm sweeps across my face as she points to a dirt road. “Right here! You love Christmas, right? That’s what Josie said.”
Barely making the turn, I process her words as I pull up to the cutest pasture of vendors I’ve ever seen.
I do love Christmas.
That warm feeling I felt back at the firm, when I zoned out to the sound of Christmas bells on the conference room door, is back. Red, green, and all things Christmas fill an entire field under cozy red tents spread out in rows before us.
“It’s the Christmas flea market. They start in November and have it every Thursday leading up to Christmas.”
“It’s part of Blitzen?”
“Well, it’s on the way into Blitzen. Surrounding towns participate, so the booths are made up of a mix of vendors from different towns and nearby communities. Come on, we can pop by a few booths, and I’ll introduce you to anyone I know from Blitzen. Then we can head into downtown for that coffee.”
My eyes swell with excitement. I could spend all day at a place like this. So far, the house, the car, okay… not so much the car, it’s a bit of a shit show, but it’s my shit show, and I’m loving it.
“Mr. Hawkins, this is Erika. We’re just taking a peek.”
Helen looks like a Hollywood producer or an actress playing the part of a high-powered attorney next to the humble booth she beelined us toward. It’s full of Christmas antiques, like toys and vintage ornaments.
“Ah, Josephine Amherst’s niece. We’ve been looking forward to your arrival, young lady.”
The older man smiles brightly, and I eat up the sheer feeling of stepping inside a TV Christmas movie. My eyes drift to his sign: Hawkins Antiques Booth 3 .
Booth 3. Three’s my number.
Looking down at the table in front of me, my eyes land on a cassette tape. It’s missing a case and has a small piece of tape where “Holiday Mixtape” is written across the top in permanent marker.
“Oh my gosh! How much?”
“For the tape? Awe, honey, I’m sorry. That just got dropped off half an hour ago, and it came in one of those tape recorders with the handle. Some young ’un came by and wanted that recorder but didn’t care about the tape. I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you to play it on.”
Helen cocks her head toward me, the way Archer would in this moment. She already knows me well.
“I do.” After tossing the bit of cash I have respectfully towards Mr. Hawkins, I’m forcing Helen to race back to my Beetle to see if it has a cassette player.
I just know it does, and it’s a sign. The right kind of sign.
I’ve believed in fate and destiny my entire life. Quite possibly another Great Aunt Josie trait.
Lately, at the firm, I lost that.
I thought I believed in myself as much as true destiny or the fate of our stars. I don’t know if I let myself down on this pitch or I let the firm let me down. Either way, it feels good to have a gut feeling back.
“Want me to drive while you fuss with the forty-some-odd-year-old tape deck?”
“Are you kidding? I have to practice.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Helen’s seat belt clicks louder for emphasis, again, in true Archer fashion.
And I always thought he was one of a kind.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit fun that we have no idea what the tracks are? Even after we play the first song, the next one and the next after that are an absolute mystery.” I look over and smile brightly at Helen as the tape deck swallows the cassette.
Her lips press tightly together as she holds in a thought.
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s just you’re so very enthusiastic, but it has to be said. Not to take away the mystery, however, I do think it’s a safe bet it will be Christmas music.” Helen raises a pointed eyebrow and we both burst out laughing as she ushers me in the direction toward town.
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…” The lyrics ring as the first song on the mixtape fills the vintage Beetle.