Chapter 17
TYRELL
The plane took off about an hour ago, and Tucker cried from the moment we had to secure him in my lap until about two minutes ago. Poor kid has finally drifted off to sleep, and the unlucky passengers around us can finally stop wincing in our direction.
Shit.
Traveling with a baby can suck sometimes.
Gazing down at my sweet boy, I stare at his little lips, finally parted and relaxed as he rests in my arms. He’s so tiny, it’s hard to imagine that one day he’s going to grow into a young man. Will he be as tall as me? Broader? Stronger?
I’m fascinated to see how he develops, watch his little personality form, figure out what he’s into.
Will he play football?
Will he sing?
Play an instrument?
What will he be passionate about?
Will he be straight? Gay? Find himself a beautiful partner who he can travel the world with?
So many unknowns.
Yet all I do know for sure is that I want to watch him grow and develop. I want to be there for every gurgle and step, every cute laugh and adorable smile. I even want to be there for the tears and the tantrums.
But it’d be great if we could have less of those and more of the good stuff.
And that gets me thinking again.
Traveling is unsettling, and babies seem to thrive on routine. I don’t know if I want to raise him the way we’ve been living for the last ten years.
Dani shifts on my shoulder, her curls tickling my chin when I turn to whisper, “You awake?”
“I’m on a plane—of course I am.” Her dry response makes me smile, and then she sits up and looks at me, her weary face still so beautiful even with those smudges under her eyes. “What’s up?”
I clear my throat, nerves clattering through me. “I want to tell you something… but I don’t know if you’re gonna like it.”
“Okay.” She loosens her seat belt, shuffling around so she can face me properly. “I can never decide if I love it or hate it when you start a conversation this way. I mean, I love the intrigue, but it’s impossible not to feel a sense of dread.”
I smile to try and ease her worry. “It’s just a discussion. No demands. No plans set in stone. I just… I need to start this conversation with you.”
“Okay.” She nods, resting her head against the seat, her brown gaze soft with affection. “Go for, Tyrell.”
I grin, then bob my head with a thick swallow. “I think I… want to stop traveling.”
With a little wince, I hold my breath and carefully check her expression.
Her lips are slightly parted, and she’s blinking at me like this is the last thing she expected me to say. “For good?”
“Well, no. I mean, I just… I want to settle somewhere. We’ve got Tuck now, and he’s gonna grow so fast, and I want him to have an awesome childhood, you know?
I think he needs us to settle down for a while.
Maybe buy a house rather than renting different places and moving all the time.
I think it’s time for some stability, to become the parent who works normal hours, maybe coaches the Little League team or whatever he wants to play.
I want to see him go to school and make friends.
” I keep eyeing her, but she’s not giving me much.
As usual, she’s keeping her feelings in check until she figures out what they actually are.
“What do you think?”
Her lips form a thoughtful pout. “Well…” She blows out a breath, working her jaw to the side. “I can understand why you’re saying that, but… I don’t want to give up traveling. I love the adventure.”
I nod. “Me too.”
She sighs, and I’m disappointed that this is going to turn into an ongoing discussion until we can find a solution we’re both happy with. We’ll mull it over, bring it up again and again until we can figure out some kind of middle ground.
Until we can—
Oh wait, that could work.
“How about this…” I take her hand, checking on Tuck’s sleeping face as I thread her fingers between mine.
“One trip a year. We’ll save our asses off, live cheap, and then once a year, we’ll jump on a plane and explore another part of the world for two or three weeks.
But we’ll always have a steady home to come back to. ”
She squeezes my hand. “Yeah, that could work…” She starts to nod, then tips her head. “Although, I’d probably have to find some kind of part-time job if we’re needing that amount of money. The work I already do doesn’t pay that well. What about childcare?”
“Maybe we could start small and just travel within the States for the first few years. Then as Tucker gets older and needs you less, you can up your work hours and we can go farther afield.”
“What if we have more kids?”
I blink at her. “You want more kids?”
“I think it’d be nice for Tuck to have a brother or sister. Don’t you?”
My lips curl at the corners and I bob my head.
She grins at me, leaning forward to press a kiss to my lips.
I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of her warm affection.
Pulling back, she cups my cheek and smiles at me again. “Wow. Tyrell Jackson wanting four permanent walls. This is definitely something new.” Her voice is playful and amused. “Next thing I know, you’ll be making me your wife.” She laughs, then goes back to leaning her head on my shoulder.
My insides go still, the idea riding through me.
It’s not like I haven’t thought about it before. It’s just that we always want to use our savings for travel, so the idea of spending money on a wedding just didn’t seem that important.
But now I’m sitting here wondering if having a missus by my side might be a damn cool idea.
Mrs. Jackson.
Mrs. Hill-Jackson. Mrs. Jackson-Hill.
Man, I don’t care what the fuck she calls herself as long as it’s mine.
My woman.
My wife.
Huh. I didn’t realize how much I’d love the sound of that.