Chapter Seventeen
Jack: Sorry, I can't make it today.
Jilly: Why?
Jack: Because I have friends now.
I DON’T THINK IT’S working, God.
But I already know what you’re going to say.
Proverbs 3:5-6 was His Father’s answer, and it always made Guy want to wince, every time he thought of how his list of memorized verses had ballooned from negative-three to forty-three real quick, and all because of good old-fashioned heartbreak.
I just miss her, God.
Badly.
And while he knew, since Jillian’s love for God was real, divorce was out of the question for her, what if this was already God’s plan? Married but living separate lives, for reasons that might only be known to Him?
The thought made Guy cold inside. He jammed the mop into the industrial bucket with unnecessary force.
Dirty water splashed upward in a violent arc that caught him square in the face.
Grimy liquid trickled past his lips, the taste of disinfectant and institutional food mixing on his tongue like an ominous preview of what his future would taste like if God were to ask him to live a life without her.
Guy worked around scattered walkers and abandoned wheelchairs in Second Wind’s dining hall, mopping around the evidence of the evening meal.
Mashed potatoes were ground into the linoleum tiles.
Pureed carrots splattered under tables. Coffee stains had already set into permanent brown shadows.
The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead while somewhere down the hallway, a call button chimed insistently.
Riiing.
Guy nearly dropped his phone in his haste to yank it out of his uniform pocket, setting the mop against a food-stained wall as he answered the call without even bothering to check the name on the screen.
“Hello?”
"It's just me, sorry."
“Ah, Valerian.” Guy did his best to mask his disappointment. “It’s fine.”
Valerian appreciated Guy’s efforts not to hurt his feelings, even if he failed miserably at it, and this considering how Guy was an award-winning actor at that.
“I just called to update you.”
Guy stiffened, his free hand gripping the mop handle as residents shuffled past him in their evening migration toward the television room. "How is she?" It had been fifty-four days, four hours, and three minutes since he had last seen his wife.
“Poppy and I visited her yesterday. She and your babies are all doing great. I’ve also checked in with Josiah. Spoke to the contractor as well, and the renovation is moving on schedule.”
“That’s great to hear.”
“You’ll likely find this hard to believe, but Krista is now part of their study group.”
Guy, who had already resumed mopping after switching the call to Bluetooth, nearly tripped over his own mop at the words.
“I don’t...” Guy found himself actually grappling for words.
“Exactly my reaction, too,” Valerian admitted rather wryly. “But they all seem to be getting along, and if it’s any consolation, Krista has since realized that she never found you attractive, and that all she wanted was for you to be her ticket to an easy life.”
“I’m...going to take that as a win.”
“I’d do so, too, in your shoes.”
Guy’s jaw clenched as he worked the mop around a particularly stubborn stain that looked suspiciously like chocolate pudding mixed with despair. He could feel his friend biding his time, which was unusual for someone as decisive as Valerian. “There’s a but, isn’t it?”
Valerian ended up wincing for the second time even though he knew Guy couldn’t see this.
“Poppy says Jilly’s forgiven you, and she also understands how circumstances, and her not telling you about Jack, have caused you to misjudge her.”
“There’s another but coming, isn’t there?”
“I really hate to say this—”
“But you’re sorry again.”
“Jilly admitted this herself. She doesn’t know what she’s waiting for. She just knows there’s something missing still...”
“THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE place, Jilly.”
It was Jack’s first time to visit her in Evergreen, and such words were high praise, coming from someone as meticulous as Jack.
Jilly watched with fond amusement as Apple the cockatiel immediately flew to Jack’s shoulder and started preening his hair while Mounty brought him his favorite tennis ball, tail wagging with pure joy.
Middle the gecko had somehow made his way onto Jack’s hand to show off his latest shed, and even Mack had graciously allowed Jack to scratch behind his ears before settling into his favorite supervisory position on the patio railing.
They had dinner at one of the small tables in the patio facing the garden, where warm lantern light cast dancing shadows across the stone tiles.
Jilly saw Jack’s gaze narrow as they were served the first course. "What?"
“It's your favorite potato leek soup,” Jack observed, adjusting his wire-rimmed glasses as he studied the bowl.
Guilt stung her conscience at Jack’s words. She hadn't even noticed that, and she realized too late how heartache hadn't just made her lose her appetite. It had also blinded her to all the things the people around her did just to make her feel better.
I'm so sorry, God. I promise I'll ask for their forgiveness and find a way to make it up to them, a.s.a.p.
“Did you tell them you love this soup?” Jack questioned.
“I didn’t.” She would have to ask Josiah about how they knew all about her favorites. Like, seriously. How in the world had she managed to overlook something so obvious for seven whole weeks?
The rest of the evening went by pleasantly, but Jack had one last bombshell to drop when the staff had finished clearing the table.
“You hit the jackpot with Guy."
Jilly choked on her coffee at Jack's unexpected comment. "Where did that come from, and since when are you on first name basis with him?"
"It's not like you to answer such silly questions." Jack frowned at her disapprovingly. “He’s your husband. That makes him my brother.”
Oh, Jack.
“I understand why you’d think that—”
“Guy agrees, too, by the way.”
He what?
“You keep gaping at me like someone without brains.” Jack was now staring at her, visibly disturbed by her reaction. “Does marriage make one dumb?”
Jilly would have answered no in the past, but right now, she wasn’t so sure.
“Why... why did you say earlier that I hit the jackpot with Guy?”
“Whose idea do you think this menu was?”
“I...I...”
“You’d never be the type to tell your staff what you love to eat. Who else could have told them then?” Jack then pointed to the new garden beds, their blooms glowing in the lantern light. “See that?”
Tears began to prick her eyes as she realized that they were all her favorite flowers.
“And then there's that.”
The mysterious cabin that was undergoing renovation, its skeletal frame outlined against the darkening sky.
“Have you checked what that is?”
“They said it’s for new staff...”
“Judging by the square footage of the house, it can likely accommodate three new staff members, possibly a full-time vet and two caretakers to provide round-the-clock assistance.” Jack pointed to the specialized ventilation system being installed.
“That’s likely where the lab will be located based on the medical-grade air filtration units.
And that shows they have both a quarantine room and ICU prepared for all emergencies. ”
This time, she just had to cut him off so she could ask Jack—
“What are you getting at?”
“Guy wants to make sure you have the best life, in case you can’t find it in your heart to forgive him.”
Jack patted her head awkwardly as she started to cry, the gesture both comforting and endearingly clumsy.
"I can't believe...didn't see...so stupid..."
Jack privately agreed. Marriage had remarkably lowered his sister's I.Q. It was a good thing he had no plans to tie the knot.
JACK HITCHED A RIDE with her as Darwin took them back to San Antonio, and throughout the ride, Jilly could only fight back tears as Jack told her how he had been spending much of his free time with his new brother.
I'm so sorry, God.
Ever since that huge misunderstanding over Jack’s role in her life, the enemy had managed to flood Jilly's mind with so, so many fears—
What if Jack causes trouble again, but to Guy’s career?
Is it worth disrupting the orderly life I have with Jack and the babies?
Isn’t it easier to just forget Guy and move on?
I just don’t want to be hurt again.
I was happy before he came into my life.
I can be happy again.
—that she had ended up convincing herself she was doing the right thing by letting go.
Trials, Charles Spurgeon had once said, were a medicinal pill that God designed for people to swallow. But they often didn't work the way they should because people insisted on chewing on them...just like Jilly had.
She had chewed on her pain until it deceived her into wanting to stay in her comfort zone.
Chewed and chewed to the point that she had forgotten all the beautiful things about her marriage with Guy.
Just kept on chewing until she had become blind to how she was hurting the man she had once been so proud to fall in love with.
I’m so, so sorry, Guy.
A quick call to Poppy ensured that Darwin knew where to go after dropping off Jack, and Jilly could only fight off another bout of tears when she realized where she was being dropped off.
Second Wind was the retirement home she did pro bono work as its accountant, and since everyone here struggled with dementia or required long-term memory care, and Poppy’s earlier words suddenly made so much more sense.
Guy told us it’s his way of learning humility. He realized how he could have avoided hurting you if he had just asked you about Jack, but he didn’t because of pride.
While this was the perfect place for someone Guy to remain anonymous, it also meant having to perform work that often required patience and long suffering, knowing that the people they served might not be capable of appreciating their help.