Chapter 25
WOW
Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran
Natalie
So Coach Holden or Coach Clay, whatever he wants to call himself, is quite different from regular Holden. And for the best. He’s handsome, or hot, as the girls would say, on a regular basis, but this? Phew.
He’s out there, dark gray joggers, athletic hoodie, a dark green beanie with his hair sticking out of the back. His glasses frame his face as he very assertively guides the girls through a game I know nothing about. They’re playing each other, practicing, getting ready for Friday.
I gravitate toward watching him coach and skate across the ice effortlessly in between watching the girls play.
My girl. She’s killing it, and I’m in awe.
She listens attentively to the directions her coaches give.
She celebrates when she does something right and gets back up when she falls.
She plays with the other girls, passing the puck and skating fast from one end to the other, and boy, I have homework to do.
I understand nothing about this game, but she’s thriving.
The other coach, Coach King, blows a whistle, and they all skate to him.
He talks to them, but I can’t pick out what he’s saying.
I get the urge to get closer so I can tune in and be in the know, but it’s not my place.
She’s not a little girl anymore, and she’s proven capable.
I can’t wait to talk to her about it in the van instead.
They cheer and leave the ice, and I wait for her to come back out so we can go home.
Goosebumps break out all over my arms and back, like the ones you get when something really good or really bad is about to happen.
I’m not sure which one it is right now, but when I search the space and find Holden’s eyes on me, I know it is all good. It's a good feeling.
I wave shyly, and he returns it before skating away and leaving the rink. I breathe again. If there was any doubt in my mind I like him more than friends, this was it. The way my entire body came alive with one simple look.
Earlier today, I could feel his pain in every word, in the way he looked. I would’ve given everything to take it away. That feeling doesn’t come for just anyone, and it’s time I admit it. Fake it til you make it, right?
“Mom!” Bella shouts, running to me and throwing her arms around my neck. “Did you see that? That was the best practice ever! We’re so ready for Friday. So, so ready. Aaah!”
“My eardrum is perforated now.”
She takes a step back, hands on my shoulders, and eyes wide. “Sorry.”
I chuckle. “Don’t be sorry! I’m so proud of you, my girl. That was amazing. I have a lot to learn, because I was lost half the time.”
“I’ll teach you, I’ll teach you!” she shouts, jumping up and down. I know she means it too. Her eyes have that glimmer in them I haven’t seen in a while, and I want to help her keep it forever.
“How about we talk about it over Chinese?”
“And ‘Gilmore Girls’?”
I smile, swinging my arm around her shoulders. “And ‘Gilmore Girls’.”
She’s so happy, practically bouncing as we make our way to the van. I look up and spot Holden leaning against a wall, smiling our way softly. I stare, unable to take my eyes away from him.
“Go tell your boyfriend bye.”
“Holden is not—” I look at Bella when I realize A) she caught me staring, and B) I knew she was talking about Holden.
“Busted.”
I shake my head. “He really is not my boyfriend, Bella. He’s a friend.”
“Okay, well, then go tell your friend bye, but be back quickly. I’m hungry.”
I consider her, but not for long, because she says again, “Just go, Mom. It’s fine. I like Coach Clay, so even if hypothetically he was your boyfriend, I would be happy. If he’s just your friend, that’s cool too.”
I tap my fingers on the steering wheel.
“Just go!”
“Okay, okay.” I step out of the van and jog to him. He looks surprised, and I guess that makes two of us.
“Hi,” I whisper, blowing out a breath.
He furrows his thick brows. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yes, yes.” I look back at my van. “I don’t have a lot of time, but I wanted to tell you something.”
“Oh. Yes, what’s up?”
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and lower my gaze to my feet. Where did all my confidence go all of a sudden?
“Natalie?”
Come on, Natalie. Say it. You can do it.
I look up, peering at him through my lashes. “It was a date.”
He blinks slowly. “What?”
“Yesterday. Yesterday was a date. I mean, if you wanted it to be a date, that is.”
He opens and closes his mouth, making me consider even saying anything at all.
“You know what? Never mind. It’s fine; forget I said anything. You clearly changed your mind or didn’t mean it, or whatever, and I just, just forget it, I’ll see you around. I—”
He interrupts me, grabbing my hand and escorting me to a small alley behind the main building. I can’t see my van anymore, and actually, I don’t think anyone can see us either, slightly away from everyone in the parking spot.
“What are y—”
He turns around, bringing his hands to hold my face, and whispers against my lips, “Can I kiss you?”
“What?”
“Can. I. Kiss. You?” he asks again, his minty breath caressing my lips. He’s so close, it would only take for me to go on my tip toes or for him to lower his mouth less than an inch, but he asked me if he could.
“Yes,” I whisper back.
And oh my.
Oh my.
His lips are on mine, tenderly exploring, carefully tracing.
His thumb brushes my cheekbone, allowing his fingers to stretch and cup my face, tethering me.
I’m floating, suspended in time and space.
He doesn’t press deeper, on the threshold of my lips, learning each curve and crevice available for him to explore.
I take matters into my own hands and pull his lower lip between mine, sucking gently, deepening this perfect kiss.
A low, deep groan releases from the back of his throat, and it rumbles right to his lips.
He breaks free, the sharp intake of his breath a sudden contrast to the warmth of a mere second ago.
Our foreheads touch, both of us exhaling and a quiet laughter leaving his full lips.
“Wow,” he whispers, leaving no choice but to smile. Mr. Holden Clay, ex hockey player extraordinaire, is whispering wow over what? A kiss?
“I have to go.”
“I know. I really wanted to do that, though.”
A giggle escapes me. “I wanted it too.”
I step backwards, allowing space between us and getting closer to my van. “See you soon?”
“Please.” His eyes crinkle as the smile reaches them.
We both wave, and I turn, leaving him behind and getting in the van.
“Well…” Bella says.
“Well, you played well.”
“Mmm, no. We’re not doing this.”
“What?” I continue our drive towards Baker.
“You know that’s not what I want to know.”
I swear, if this child wants to ask about—
“Did you kiss him?” she asks, reading my mind.
“Bella!”
“Well did you?”
I shake my head, not answering her question. I don’t want to lie but I also don’t want to tell her. I don’t want to get her hopes up.
“Fine. Don't tell me.” She places her feet on the dashboard. “But it still stands. I like him, and you deserve some happy.”
“Thanks, Bella.”
“Uh-huh.”
She turns the volume up, some song I don’t recognize blasting through the speakers as she follows the beat with her feet and voice. I touch my lips, the phantom feel of his on mine, his minty-sweet taste still in my mouth.
Wow, indeed.