Chapter 45 Did You Know?
DID YOU KNOW?
Youth by Daughter
Natalie
“You don’t have to wait for me. You can just drop me off,” Bella says, walking up the wooden steps to Healing Pals.
“I know you think you’re all grown and stuff, but you’re not, and I would rather wait.
I brought a book.” I shake my newest romance obsession, First Comes Amor by Cynthia Rodriguez.
Her writing style is emotional, and her stories are great, with a wide range of feels.
I’ve been inhaling her backlist recently, and this one, I couldn’t put down.
There’s been something so healing about reading romance.
I thought it would be the opposite after losing Nick and definitely after my experience with infertility, but something about seeing a couple go through hardships and come out at the end with a happy ending has been exactly what I needed. It has given me hope.
“Fine. If you want to waste your time here, go ahead.”
“Bella, look at me.” She stops, not turning. “Look at me. Please.”
She does, painfully slow.
“Nothing that has to do with you is a waste of time, and certainly not your mental health. It’s as important as healing physically.
” I cup her face, smiling softly at her.
I know she’s strong, and I know she takes pride in that, but it doesn’t mean she has to do it alone.
It doesn’t mean she has to fake it. The revelation hits me like a hammer straight to my heart, and Holden’s words echo in my head.
Now, you don’t have to be strong all alone. I can be here too.
“I can be here for you. Let others help you carry the load; it weighs less.”
She nods before turning back to the entrance.
I follow along. For so many years, I’ve been in survival mode, one foot in front of the other, just trying not to fall apart, thinking if I did, it would somehow make me unworthy.
I thought if Nick had to go, the least I could do was be strong for the two of them.
But Holden has taught me strength is not measured in solitude, and emotions are meant to be felt. There’s strength in numbers too.
“You must be Isabella,” Julia says, greeting Bella.
“Bella is fine,” she replies, extending her hand as Julia smiles.
“Hi, Bella. Nice to meet you.” Julia points to the back. “We’re getting ready to go in the back. Mom, she’ll be ready in about an hour and a half. You can leave her and come back, or you can wait in that area.” Julia points to a living room-looking space, and I wave at Bella as I take a seat.
I’m lost in my book, laughing and kicking my feet, when someone sits next to me, and without looking, I know it’s Holden. His presence makes me relax even if I’m not touching or looking at him. And he loves me. How lucky am I to be loved by him?
“Mister Clay,” I say with confidence, keeping my attention solely on my book.
“Beauty,” he replies, catching me by surprise, kissing my cheek.
I smile immediately and close the book, sliding it into my bag. “How are you this Tuesday afternoon?”
“I’m better now,” he teases. “It’s always a beautiful day when I get to see you.”
"I’ve seen you every day for the past, like, five days.”
He shrugs. “All my days are beautiful now with you in them.”
I bite my lower lip and shake my head with a smile. He’s swoony and corny; I can’t. He looks comfortable here, just as he does now in my house and store, but it wasn’t always like that. He must feel at ease here, and suddenly, I remember.
“You know, we talked about you opening this center because you wanted to be a therapist, but we never talked about why it didn’t happen. You said it didn’t work out, but that’s about it.”
“I really thought this was my calling after they died. I wanted nothing more than to be helpful, to be there for kids the way I wish someone was there for me as a teen. The way my therapist is here now.”
“You’re a good listener, though; was it that you couldn’t pass the exams?” I tease, but his somber look is indication enough that he’s not in the same headspace.
“I was good at it, I think. At working with the kids, especially with the animals. Chili and her sister, Bean, were my therapy animals in session, working with Julia. I had a good group.” He exhales, taking off his glasses and brushing his face.
“I had a hard time wearing the therapist coat and then going home and leaving them here. It affected me beyond measure. There was this particular kid…”
I squeeze his thigh. “You don’t have to share. I feel like lately, all we’ve done is talk about painful things. It’s okay. I was just curious.”
“It’s fine. I can’t tell you much either way because of confidentiality, but let’s just say he went through something nobody should go through.
He and his brother had a very hard home life, and his brother ended up in big trouble.
The kid, my kid, was so troubled, so sad, so broken, and I couldn’t shake it. ”
“What happened?”
He shakes his head. “Someone got custody of him outside of Florida, so I actually don’t know.”
My body is covered with goosebumps; there’s something eerily familiar about his words and that case, but I can’t put my finger on it. Two kids, a bad home life, a brother who ended up in big trouble. I furrow my brows.
There’s no way, right?
“Bella, wait!” Someone, I think Julia, shouts, followed by Bella appearing in front of me, tears threatening to fall.
I jolt up. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you know?” she all but shouts, her whole body shaking.
“Did I know what?”
“I wasn’t asking you,” she spits, and she’s right; she wasn’t looking at me—she was looking at Holden.
“What’s going on?” he asks her, looking at Julia, who looks terrified.
“I have to go back to the rest of the kids,” Julia mentions, but she looks like she’s going to throw up. “I can talk to her, but I need a minute.”
I nod. “Yes, take your time.”
Bella’s nose flares, one hand opening and closing into a tight fist while the other clutches something.
“Honey, what’s going on?”
“Did you know?” she asks between seethes.
“Did I know what? That you were going to come here?” Holden asks. “Yeah, your mom and I talked about it. I’m sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable, I ca—”
“No. Not that,” she interrupts, grabbing his hand and slamming whatever she was holding into his. It’s a newspaper article, and I don’t understand why she’s so upset about it.
He definitely doesn’t understand either. He studies the article and the photograph with it. I do the same from over his shoulder. I don’t really und—
Oh my God.
I gasp, covering my mouth.
“So you didn’t know. Good. At least not every adult in my life lied to me.”
“Bella,” I whisper, pulling her into my arms. “He doesn't know. We haven’t talked about it. He has no clue.”
“Can someone fill me in, please?” Holden asks, but Bella pushes me away and runs out. I have to do the right thing and follow her.
“I can’t right now. I have to go to her.”
“Is she okay?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No.”