Chapter One
Dodge City, Kansas
Hope dragged herself off to her pokey bedroom at the back of the boardinghouse so she could change.
She pulled off her stained white apron and opened a small window to air out the smell of food that had seeped up from the kitchen.
She could still hear the roar of voices from the dining hall below vibrating up through the worn floorboards.
She washed her face and put on her nicest bonnet, then hurried back out.
Daniel’s letter telling her to visit had come as a surprise. Usually, he just collected the money he wanted from the boardinghouse without even bothering to say hello. It had been months since she had seen him in person.
As she began the long walk home, all the reasons why Daniel might want to see her raced through her mind.
Had he changed? Were things better? Could she finally leave the grueling hours of stirring bubbling pots over a hot stove and washing plates until her fingers were raw behind?
Her stomach churned with a hope she’d long kept buried.
Their old cabin appeared through the trees, but it didn’t fill her with a sense of ease.
Even in the cheerful glow of spring, it looked grim.
She could just make out Daniel’s lean figure in the doorway waving to her.
Her heart leapt in her chest, and she bit down on her lip as she suddenly longed to see her brother.
Against her will, and perhaps her good sense, she could feel the spark of hope ignite within her.
“Oh, Daniel,” she said, trotting towards him as she ignored the ache in her feet. “It’s so good to see you!”
He gripped her in a bear hug and spun her around until she begged him to stop. “You look well!” he observed, grinning at her.
“How are you?” she asked, studying every inch of his face.
His brown eyes were almost vacant, and tiny scars flecked his pale skin, but he held onto a wide smile, as if he thought that might cover it all.
“All the better for seeing you. How’s the boardinghouse? I tried to get in to see you, but they wouldn’t let me,” Daniel said as he led her inside.
“Did you now?” Hope asked, wondering if she could really believe him. “I wish I could have seen you. The days cooking are long, hot, and busy, and the nights are lonely. Sometimes I feel I won’t last another day in the heat of that kitchen…”
She realized with a pang that he wasn’t listening, because he was waiting for her to notice his efforts.
Hope smiled at the kitchen that her brother had obviously tidied up just for her visit.
There were wildflowers in a jug on the table, and some apples Daniel had likely stolen off someone’s tree nestled in a basket.
“Is this for me?” she asked, pushing aside her hurt.
He grinned more widely at her, and she was reminded of the handsome boy he’d once been, before the vices of Dodge City had lured him in and stolen his youth.
The water on the stove began to boil, and he poured it into the coffee pitcher, passing her a cup once it was ready.
“Sorry. There’s no milk or sugar.”
“Just sitting down is good enough for me,” she said, quietly sipping the bitter coffee. Her nerves mounted as she wondered at the reason for his letter.
“I’ve stopped gambling, Hope,” Daniel finally said, breaking the silence. “And I’ve broken away from my…my friends.”
She assumed he meant the gang he had been working for. She had heard things around town whenever a rancher’s cow disappeared, or when the cowboys at the boardinghouse complained about a poker table that was rigged.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Hope said, though she couldn’t shake the uneasiness that spread through her. There was something in his manner that hinted he was hiding something.
“There’s a rancher in town who’s agreed to give me work,” Daniel continued, his dirty fingernails tapping on the tabletop.
“That’s wonderful,” Hope breathed, reaching out and squeezing her brother’s hand.
It was cold to the touch, and he drew away from her.
“There’s just one thing I need help with,” he continued, his eyes looking right through her.
‘No,’ Hope heard her mind warning her.
“I still have some debt I need to pay off before I can start the job,” Daniel said.
“How much?”
“Forty dollars.”
“Forty!” Hope gulped, feeling a growing bitterness in the pit of her stomach.
She knew she had to help him somehow, because he was her brother and she loved him, but she couldn’t ignore the resentment that she was beginning to feel.
She brushed her hair behind her ears with her fingers as she tried to think. “Daniel, I have money saved, but-”
“I’ll pay it back as soon as I get this job at the ranch.”
Hope paused, a frown forming on her face. “I thought you already had the job,” Hope said slowly, Daniel’s words confusing her. She knew she had to keep things clear in her mind. Otherwise, he would talk her in circles.
“Well, sure I do,” Daniel said, his sallow cheeks tinging red. “It’s just that this money will ensure I get the job. There are travel costs and-”
Hope set her coffee cup down and looked at him, her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach.
This was why she didn’t dare hope anymore, and why she couldn’t trust anyone, not even those closest to her.
People always let her down, but no one could crush her heart like her brother did.
Somehow, he still knew how to get through all her defenses.
“Daniel,” she began as firmly as she could, despite the wobble in her voice, “I don’t have that kind of money.”
“Hope, you don’t understand what these men will do to me!” Daniel complained, his hands gripping hers tightly. “You remember that day, right? The day you left me!”
Hope felt a stab of guilt at the reminder, but she thrust it aside. She could not let Daniel pull her in again.
“Is the money to secure you a job on a ranch, or to pay your gambling debts?” she asked, fixing him with the hardest stare she could muster. “If you’re in trouble, Daniel…”
Daniel released her hands and leaned back slowly in his chair.
She watched his mask of charm and positivity slowly fade away, leaving a tired, worn-down man with no hope slumped over before her.
It broke her to think that he was only twenty-eight and had a world of potential locked away inside of him.
Would he have turned out better if he hadn’t had her to worry about?
Hope shook her head and closed her eyes. She clenched her hands tightly underneath the table, feeling the jagged edges of her nails dig into her palms.
“Just tell me the truth, Daniel,” she pleaded in a low voice.
Daniel blinked at her, his expression stony. Then, anger started to build in the creases around his tight mouth and weary eyes.
“I shouldn’t have to tell you anything!” he blurted, pushing his coffee out of the way and spilling it across the table. “I’m your blood! Now give me the money, Hope! I know you have it!”
“Daniel!” Hope exclaimed, standing up. “Is money all you care about?”
“You don’t know what it’s like. You have work-”
“I break my back every day!” Hope exclaimed, her voice cracking. “I can’t do it anymore.” She shook her head as she turned away from him. “I can’t watch my life slip away working breakfast, dinner, and supper, just so my meager wages can go to your gambling. I won’t do it!”
“Hope, please!” she heard him call as she stumbled out of the kitchen.
Blinded by tears of anger and hurt, she ran from her brother, the ache in her tired feet distracting her from the stabbing pain in her heart.