Chapter 45
T he light started to fade through the trees. It was growing darker earlier this time of year. A chill blew through on a breeze. The sun set quickly, without much color. They made camp on the edge of Wood Elf land and Light Elf land.
Aelrie reached into her pack for the food she’d brought. Malaas spiced dried meat, hard cheese, and dry crackers. At least that morning, she had a hearty meal, Urghania’s final gift to her.
She had no plans to return to Mistress Valeria and House Nightshade once this was finished.
They huddled close together beside the fire to keep the chill out. She took a swig of water from a flask and then passed it back to Fyn. The fire crackled and glowed orange in front of them, bringing with it the scent of wood smoke, both warm and wistful.
It was a good night for contemplation, especially on what lay ahead of them.
Fyn leaned back, placing a hand behind her. “I am not taking you back to the Evergloom with me. In fact, I don’t mean to return at all,” he then said rather casually about something that was not a casual topic .
She turned her body around to face him; confusion twisted her face. “But you … I thought you promised Mistress Valeria you would make sure I followed orders or you’d … kill me.” That last part hurt her heart to say.
His response was disbelief mixed with a touch of hurt. “You think so low of me that I would do such a thing to you? I’ve already told you I’d never harm you.”
“What I told,” he continued, then paused, almost as if he didn’t want to say her name, “the mistress … I didn’t mean it.”
“But … it was done under blood magic.”
“There are ways to circumvent that. I told her I understood her order. I never promised I’d go through with it.” He took a swig of the almost finished water.
While she was relieved to hear that, the uncertainty of their future troubled her. “But … what about Hawke? Kestrel told me he would hunt me down and kill me just as he killed Osprey and Eagle.”
Fyn frowned at their names. “Hawke is … an issue. But something I noticed today … we may have a chance to escape.” He sat back up straight and leaned in toward the fire.
She leaned closer to him; the flames warmed her face, turned cold by the night air.
Even as the fire warmed her, the thought of Hawke’s blades slicing through her neck left a chill beneath her skin. But she trusted Fyn, she trusted herself.
“Wood Elves and Light Elves,” Fyn started saying, “they live side by side peacefully. Dark Elves cannot. You called me a deserter, and the Wood Elf commander let down his guard, only a mere sliver, but it was because you were there. If we escape together, then I can become a real deserter. We can live here together. Hawke found Osprey and Eagle because they were both Dark Elves and could not live in Wood Elf or Light Elf lands, for they would be killed as I would have been had you not been there today. It was easier for Hawke to find Osprey and Eagle because they had to live in the dangerous wilderness. But we don’t.
I think with you, I might be accepted or perhaps tolerated. ”
“You want us to live together?’
“Of course. Don’t you?”
It was sudden, but she knew he was earnest with his words. “We can build a home together?”
Like her family home in Emerald Forest … they could live the way she’d grown up before she moved to the city.
He brought his arms around and drew her into a hug. She pressed her nose to his shoulder, catching the scent of wood smoke in his hair.
“Yes. I want that,” she breathed out.
“But…” she then sighed. His arms were strong, protecting her from the outside fears of the night, and his chest was warm, comforting her from her sorrows, her inside fears. “I need to kill Vainir.”
“For revenge?”
She pulled back and looked up at him. “Yes, but not for Lindana. For myself.”
“Can you go through with it? It will be much different than killing Madam Zaya.”
She knew what he meant. The sanctity of life was important to her. Vainir was not innocent, but it would still make her a murderer, something she’d once said she’d rather die than become. What Fyn didn’t know was that she was already one.
“I … I killed an innocent Wood Elf in the sanctum. Mistress Valeria forced me to …”
She felt his warm embrace again. “Hush,” he told her. “Why must you be so stubborn?”
She sniffed the tears away. “Stubborn?”
“You know that wasn’t your fault. That was manipulation. Powerful blood magic that the mistress is adept at.”
“That wasn’t your fault .” She needed to hear this. She just … hated herself that she lost control of her body and did the unthinkable. It was her weakness that caused this.
They sat there in silence for a while, in the comfort of each other’s arms, staring at the crackling fire, before he spoke softly.
“I’ll tell you a story about a young boy whose mother just died, who was all alone and scared, seeing ghosts in the dark.
And about the lady of a great House who found him there, took him in as her own son, and raised him in her glorious House in the style he had been accustomed to, before his downfall, and showed him he didn’t have to be afraid anymore.
And later, when the boy was not yet an adult but thought he was, he was called to the sanctum.
A beautiful girl sat in front of him, a girl his age.
The boy felt his pulse race. Never before had he seen such beauty.
He loved the girl the moment he saw her.
But a noble lady from some powerful House paid in gold to have her servant’s daughter killed.
The girl’s only crime was making the lady envious because of her blossoming beauty.
The boy cried as his hand grasped the dagger.
He cried to his mistress, pleaded, but received only silence and his hand, which he could not stop as it slit the girl’s throat in front of him. ”
She looked up at him. “Fyn … I …”
“She was my first love, and my first kill. I learned that day that I wasn’t a son of House Nightshade.” His voice lowered. “I was her slave.”
She lowered her chin as her head rested against his chest. She listened to the thumping of his heart and with it, felt his pain. It was hers to endure as well.
“I never could escape my wretched life,” Fyn said, staring into the fire.
“She owned me completely. When she took me in and made me a son of her great House, I felt powerful, invincible. I needn’t be afraid any longer, but when she took that power away from me and showed me just who was in control, always had been …
I was a slave because I didn't fight back. I came to accept this as just how life was. The strong live and the weak die, and those that are caught in between can only survive.”
“But,” he continued, his breath on her head. “That changed when I met you. I saw light once again. It gave me hope that this wasn’t what life was, that there was something more, something brighter, better.”
“You thought that when you met me?”
“Not at first,” he said, laughing lightly. “Remember, you tried to kill me when we first met. It had to dawn on me.”
“Me too,” she answered, snuggling closer to his chest. “Many things had to dawn on me as well.”
“But when I heard the mistress name you Sparrowhawk, I knew I had to act. ”
His voice took a more serious tone. His arms around her gripped tightly.
“You must escape the mistress’s influence.
I cannot let what she did to me happen to you.
I was her slave, but I won’t let that happen to you.
I will not stand idly by and watch her snuff out your light.
Once we finish our mission, we should escape and find a place to live.
Some place quiet, just for the two of us. ”
She sank deeper into his arms. It was almost a dream. But could she live happily with Fyn after all she’d done, all her mistakes? Perhaps they could find peace in each other and build something together, and not live a life of destruction, but creation.
“Let’s do it,” she sighed. “Let’s make a home together.”
Back at the temple after killing Lindana, Fyn had stood there, watching her.
It wasn’t sadistic, as she had initially thought.
Seeing her suffer was not enjoyable for him.
Rather, he was remembering the girl he was forced to kill beyond his will, his first love, his first kill.
And in that moment, he let her live. She should tell Fyn this, but she had a feeling he already knew.
The night grew around them in all its uncertainty about their upcoming mission, and their future after that, but within their bubble, they were safe in each other’s arms.