18. Eighteen
I haven”t been able to prove it yet, but I am almost positive Rhyma is responsible for the assassination attempt. I can”t believe I didn”t realize it the moment the killer had a gun. No one carries fucking guns. They”re loud and vulgar things.
In a very public setting, too.Theywanted the spectacle oftheirpretty little martyr being gunned down brutally. But there”s no way anyone would believethat theywould be capable of this. They”ve always been uppity assholes, content to stay in their little bubble. They”ve ruled through fear since their inception, but this... this is something far more sinister.
For the last couple of weeks,every spare moment has been filled with communications with my spies in Rhyma, and yet, nothing.Whoever this scheme belongs to is keeping it completely secret, even from theirowncolleagues. There”s not so much as a whisper of it.
In fact, everyone over there thinks the announcement of the upcoming ball is good news. That we”re all going to be making international celebrations a regular thing. Not a single person even suspects that relations are worse thanthey”ve ever been.
Over the last few days, I”ve witnessed Elva glaring daggers into King Colm”s head more times than I can count, likely imagining all the terrible ways to kill him. I”ve also done the same for Prince Tirriel as he tries and fails to seduce Elva.
Maren, the witches, and I decided that today we all need a fucking break from each other to prevent a murder. Mostly Tirriel”s, if we”re being honest.If I catch him salivating over her magnificent breasts again, I”m going to suck the life from his body without even meaning to.
I”m no better, but she wants my attention. And I love giving it to her. Her cries of pleasure in the library filled me with a need the likes I”ve never felt before. Her flushed skin, sweating and writhing as she fell apart around my fingers yesterday make it quite clear that this thing between us isn”t going away, and it isn”t going to be ignored any longer.
If nothing else, the fact that Rhyma is responsible for the attacks, the one already passed and the one coming, makes it even more difficult to resist her. Her good intentions, boundless curiosity, and powerful mind are allmiraculouslygenuine. She”s nothing but a victim of her own country”s machinations, deserving none of the mistrust I”ve shown her. I should tell her and give her all the pieces of the puzzle I”ve found. Especially after the incredible piece of her she gifted me yesterday. But if there”s one thing I know about Elva,it”s thatshe won”t believe me anyway.
Her need to believe in the good in everyone will blind her to the reality standing right in front of her. She”ll insist it”s a coincidence orthat I”mjumping to conclusions. But I”m not. It”s like I thought weeks ago, even before I suspected Rhyma, she”s the perfect martyr.
I”ve gota plan to distract myself from the inevitable and show her a secret part of myself so we canbegin buildingreal trust.
Long before wewouldnormally meet for breakfast, I”m knocking on Elva”s bedroom door, a swirling in my stomach that I”ve never felt before. Swinging it open, she starts, ”Raya, I thought we went over this. You don”t have to—oh, it”s you. Hi?”
”Good morning, Elva,” I greet, handing her the coffee. ”Get dressed. I have something I want to show you.”
”Really?” she beams, gingerly taking the drink from me and sipping it with a blissful sigh. ”What is it?”
”If I tell you, it”ll ruin the surprise.” Her eyes light up, and the sense of adventure fills her blood like it always does, making me grin. ”Wear sturdy shoes; you”ll be walking a lot.”
”Okay!” sheall butslams the door in my face, so excited to be getting out of this castle and going somewhere else. Before I can sit on the couch, the door swings open again, ”Umm, can you get Raya for me?”
”Do you need something?” I ask.
”Sort of?” she pulls at her wild, glorious hair. ”I just... she does my hair better than I can. I can”t seem to figure out how to deal with how wavy it”s gotten since being here.”
Unable to hide my smile, I nod. ”I”ll send her right in.”
”Thank you,” she says and disappears behind the door again. A few minutes later, Raya disappears behind it, too, waving at me as she darts by.
The longer I sit and wait, the more intense the feeling in my stomach becomes. There”s a pressure on my chest that I can”t explain, a sensation that is both horrid and wonderfulall at once. Raya explained this feeling to me once, and I laughed at her.
I shake my head, trying to forget what came just after that conversation. The only experiences I”ve had with affection in this life have been disastrous, to say the least. Raya deserved far better than what she got in return for her love. Shan”s only version of love is the kind that lasts as long as his erection.
And my parents... fuck, I am not getting into that now.I”llhave toface that situation today, but no need to start the pity party so early.
Finally, Elva”s bedroom door slowly opens. Raya pops out first,comes to sitby me, and steals a couple of tiny, powdered sugar-covered pastries. She nudges me with her shoulder, pointedly looking back at the door.
There Elva stands, hair even bigger than I”ve seenitsince she arrived, each blonde wave so perfectly framing her face. There are just a few little red clips or something in it, keeping it out of her eyes. She”s wearing pants today, my favorite deep red thatslightlyresembles her cheeks now, thoughanger is the furthest thing from her expression.
The shirt she chose is jet black, dotted with a red pattern that matches her pants and hair clips.”Shall we go?” she asks, pulling me from what was probably a very indecent perusal.
Standing and wiping off the sugar Raya got all over me, I nod towards my bedroom. ”We”ll leave through the passage this way, lest we run into any of our other houseguests.”
”Oh.” Understanding dawns as she follows behind me. ”Right.”
”It won”t be any brighter now than the last time we went through, and the sun will render you twice as blind as the moon did.” I chuckle, remembering her hiss of pain when we exited it only a few weeks ago.
”Fantastic,” she tries to be sarcastic, but her excitement takes over any other emotion she might even attempt to have.
As we walk by my bed, my eyes drift to it, thinking of how last time she was in here, I had thrown her onto it, both of us so flushed and full of desire it was painful to push through it and leave to meet Maren. Her steps slow, and I notice she, too, is looking at it.
It”s impossible to see her gazing at it and not think of how I last left her in her bed, writhing and so indecently wet, pleading for me. That was cruel, but gods above, it was so incredible. I”m tempted to see how I could make her beg again, pull those beautiful, needy whimpers from her again.
Shaking the thoughts from my head, I continue on, pretending not to notice her errant, wandering eyes. Pursuing this overwhelming attraction before earning her trust would be futile. Her body may be mine already, but I want everything. And I”ll have it, one way or another.
Opening the hidden door, I hold it open for her, and she demurely sneaks under my arm, a shy smile on her face as she does. Silently, we trek through the tunnel, the damp air and slimy floor squishing beneath our feet. Only once does she slip, catching herself on the wall and muttering a quiet ”fuck”.
I bite my lips to keep from laughing,onlybarely managing to do so. At the end of the 10-minute walk, we finally reach the end, the light from outside peeking in from the edges of the false rock covering the opening. I reach out, finding one of her hands in the dark.”Close your eyes.”
Using my other hand to open it, the sunshine nearly blinds me, and I stand still for a moment, adjusting. When Itake astep forward, Elva comes with me, eyes still closed to dampen the overwhelming adjustment to such bright light. As I walk forward, I keep her hand in mine, and she follows, trusting me to at least guide her in this. A warmth bubbles up in my chest from this small touch she”s allowing, this small show of faith in me.
I move the rock back into place, watchingas Elva nearly crawls rightout of her skin with anticipation.Her face is stuck in a small but exuberant smile, and her free hand refuses to stay still, popping her knuckles, fiddling with the ring on her fourth finger, then shaking out the tension.
”Can I open my eyes now?” she finally asks after a few moments of me standing there,juststaring at her, soaking in the only opportunity I”ve had for us tojustbe together in weeks.There are no meetings to prepare for, no arguments to mediate—just Elva and I.
”Slowly,” I warn her.Apparently, her idea of slowly is one eye and then the other, thenclosing them again.With a giggle, she opens them again, only squinting and holding up her free hand to block the sun. ”Come on, let”s get moving.”
Shewasn”t able tosee this last time we came through, but behind averywell-placed rose bush, there”s the beginning of a well-groomed walking trail.I consider releasing her hand but can”tseem toforce myself to do so.She glances at our entwined hands,lookingup at me,then continues onwithout argument.
”So, can you tell me where we are going yet?” she asks.
”Nope.”
Her fingers start to fiddle again. ”But how will I know how to act if I don”t know where we”re going?”
”Just be yourself.” I nudge her shoulder with mine, the gesture comforting and completely unfamiliar at the same time. ”This isn”t anything official, nothing to be nervous about.”
She nods. ”Alright. No need to be nervous. Got it.” Iget the feeling thatshe”s convincing herself as much as she”s trying to convince me, but I let it go.
When I make it myself, the walk takes a little less than 30 minutes, but the two of us take our time, Elva stopping to look at flowers and wildlifeevery timeshe sees anything. By the time we reach our destination, it”s well over an hour into the day, and the sun is rapidly reaching its peak in the sky.
The building before us is beautiful, even if only to me.It”s immaculately kept up, even thoughevery year or so,the paint tries to peel from the humidity, and the roof needs to be patchedupevery few months. I should tear it down and build a new one from scratch or bring the Zalig designers in to fix everything, butthe anonymity of itis more important than anything else.
The yellow front door swings open, an entire horde of small children pouring out of it, screaming my name. Elva looks up at me with horror, wondering if I”m going to make good on the threat I”ve made of killing everyone who knows my identity. She doesn”t know that this is the one place I can be Kairon and not The Horned King.
I laugh and jog away from her toward the kids barreling our way. I lower to where they can reach me, knowing the impact will hurt lessthat way. Within seconds, I”m tackled to the ground, the mob taking me down with no effort at all. No less than fifteen of them start yelling what they”ve learned this week, that Nini was a tattle-tale, but Jo deserved it because he tried to rub a booger on her cheek.
The oldest of this group, Marcus, alerts me that he dealt with Jo because Jo didn”t know that you can”t be mean to girls just because they”re pretty. To be fair, that”s a lesson someone needed to remind me of only a few weeks ago.
Speaking of, Elva stands a few yards away, jaw unhinged as she watches the chaos unfoldin front ofher. I allow the throngs of children to hold me down for just a minute longer before lifting them off me and standing to brush the grass and dirt off of my clothes.
”Can you guys go say hi to Miss Aistin?” I ask them, gesturing to Elva.
”Is she our new teacher?” Lane asks. ”Miss Fee is so old.”
I laugh. ”Between you and me, Miss Fee was old even when I lived here.” The children fall into fits of cackles, a few of them running over to meet Elva. Her nerves are written all over her face, and I see the problem just before it becomes one. Tiny little hands grip Elva”s arms and legs, pulling on her.
She takesina shaky breath, blowing it out her mouth, before lowering to their level. With a big grin, she quietly introduces herself as I try and fail to get the remaining little ones to stop grabbing at my clothes. I lift up the teeniest little one, only 2 1/2 years old, holding her close as she wraps her tiny arms around my neck.
My group goes over to Elva with me, herface still almost frozen in shock as she tries to take in what she”s seeinghere. She looks up at me and I shake my head, silently telling her I”ll explain later.
She meets every kid, nodding as they tell her their name, how old they are, and their favorite colorsand no, it”s not purple,it”s dark purple, and that they know their ABCs and on and on. Her surprise slowly morphs into pure enjoyment, just like I knew it would. Elva believes everyoneto havegood intentions, and for once, she”s surrounded by people who do.
Miss Fee finally joins us, looking as old as ever.The older kids,the oneswho don”t get as excited about my visits, peek out the windows briefly beforegoing backto whatever they were doing.
”Hello, Miss Fee,” I tell her.
”Your Majesty,” she drawls. ”They”ve been waiting all morning, you know. Nearly crawling up the walls.”
Even as her king, she”s not above scolding me. ”Apologies.” I smirk. ”But I brought them entertainment.”
”Yes, I see that.” Her tone shows clear disapproval. ”And you trust this girl enough to bring her here? She”s either very smart or you are very dumb.”
Laughter overtakes me, startling Miss Fee, Elva, and all the children captivated by her. ”I”m afraid it”s probably both.”
”Hmm, well, if it goes south, I trust you”ll do what”s necessary to protect this place.” She shrugs. It certainly wouldn”t be the first time I killed someone for discovering this little corner of the world. She claps twice. ”Come, children. Let”s show Kairon”s new friend some hospitality, shall we?”
Following behind the group of chanting, singing kids, Elva walks beside me, looking up at me as if I”ll finally explain. ”You said you wanted to see an orphanage. Here it is.”
”But, they all know you,” she raises her brows, ”yet, there they go, very much alive.”
”Yes.”
”You come visit them often.” Not a question.
”Yes.”
”And you fund it.”
”Yes.”
”Why didn”t you just tell me that when I arrived?” she asks, incredulous. ”This is incredible. They”re so lucky to have you. Even back home, the orphanages only receive money if the majority votes on it. And that”s pennies. This place is obviously so well-loved. This is all I was looking for, some reason to believe that you”re not-”
A cold chuckle escapes me. ”Don”t act as if I”m some hero, Elva. I”m not. As I”ve said, I”m every bit the villain in the stories.”
”What are you talking about? Look at this!” She gestures towards the building, watching everyone disappear into it.
”Almost half of those kids are orphans because I made them one,” I tell her, and her smile instantly drops. ”Whether their parents fought against me during my takeover or fought beside me in the wars and needed to die for my anonymity, I am responsible for enough deaths to fill this place with kids.”
The color drains from her face, but she tries to argue all the same. ”But you didn”t have to do this. You chose to. You don”t have to visit or let the kids know that their king is watching out for them.”
”And what do you think happens to them when they”re grown and leave this place?” I ask her.
She swallows. ”Well, I can”t imagine you spending all this time and money raising them just to kill them off.”
”No,” I assure her. ”Miss Fee uses her powers to erase any and all memories of me, sending them into the world just as clueless as everybody else, along with how to find the orphanage, should they get nostalgic.”
”And?”
”What do you mean and?” I scoff. ”She infiltrates their minds and rips out memories.”
”Don”t you see what a mercy that is?” she asks.
”A mercy?” I run both palms down my face. ”I kill their parents and ruin their childhoods, and this is a mercy?”
”What if you didn”t erase them, then?” She stops walking to face me fully. ”What would happen if they left this place with those memories?”
”Any of my enemies could find them and get them to give up vital information,” I explain, not understanding what she”s not getting here.
She raises both brows like I”m the one who doesn”t get it. ”And do you see how that wouldn”t just be bad for you, but for them? How someone who wants that kind of intel will torture, maim, or even kill them to get it?”
I”mrenderedspeechless, and she continues, ”Taking that from them is probably horrible, but imagine what kind of life they would be living with that knowledge. Sometimes, being merciful means being cruel.”
”Elva, I-”
”Hey!” Miss Fee interrupts me. ”Are you two coming inside or what?”
Elva laughs, pushing me forward. ”Come on. I get the feeling she doesn”t like to ask twice.”