Passing Through #4
There was one problem arising as he caught his reflection in the rearview mirror.
Damn, I’m a mite fine specimen of manhood, he thought and believed.
Then a new concerning issue came to mind.
“What if during my quest to clear the most cases, some hot chick decides she wants to bob on my nightstick? I’m impossible to resist. It’s bound to happen,” he said aloud, worried about the possibilities.
He slapped his face with great force then grinned at his reflection. “Oh yeah, like that! Daddy likes it when you’re rough. Harder!” Slipping into a feminine voice Higgins said, “Oh, you like it rough officer?”
Higgins punched himself. His nose popped. He jerked the wheel, swerving toward another car that blared despite his vehicle being a cop car. Higgins looked at his reflection and his new bloody nose.
“Yeah! Man, that felt good! But I better not run into any of the ladies tonight, I’ve got a job to do. Most cases cleared ever. I am Supercop!’
He turned on the radio. Nine Inch Nails blasted.
Higgins figured they would blur the part about doing something like an animal, but the station left the f-bombs in.
Higgins cranked it up, wondering who was running the station.
Theirs was a conservative town, so maybe Boston bought out the station.
He dug it. He kept driving, destination mall.
The mall sat on a square mile of property.
The parking lot around the place was immense.
He entered off the freeway side and crossed the mostly empty parking lot when he saw it.
Two cars parked alongside one another, with two men fighting nearby.
Or one was fighting. The other was raising arms to fend off the attack.
Both were sizeable men with sizeable vehicles.
Higgins hit the gas and charged at the two men.
He stopped the car just short, leaving high beams aimed on the two.
The battered and bloody man appeared relieved to see law enforcement.
The other guy spit at the ground in frustration, but kept his fists raised.
Higgins exited his vehicle . He drew his gun and waved it between the two men.
“Officer, thank God,” the bloodied man said.
“Mind telling me what’s going on?” Higgins asked, surprised he knew neither of the men.
“Officer. I park my vehicle all the way out here because I just had a wash. Also, the truck is my baby, so I don’t want any dings. I’m about a quarter mile away, a long walk,” the one delivering the beating said.
“Agreed, but how does that end in you two being jackasses?”
“Because he parked next to me! All the way out here. Therefore, I kicked in his window, dragged him out and beat the ever-loving stuffing out of him.”
Higgins looked at the immense space surrounding the vehicles and the distance to the mall. He walked over to the other driver’s car and noticed the broken driver’s side window. Then he looked at how close the cars were parked.
He stepped up to the man on the ground, who whimpered in relief at his protector. Higgins scrunched his face and shot his gun arm toward the mall. “What were you thinking?”
“Officer?” the bloody man asked.
“He’s parked all the way out here and you park next to him? Who does that?”
Higgins walked back to his vehicle, upset that such a foolish thing was keeping him from his actual call. Both men stood silently, waiting for instructions.
“Proceed,” Higgins said.
The larger man growled and began beating the one on the ground with abandon. The man begged for help as Higgins got in his cruiser, hit the lights, and raced toward the mall.
***
Lindsey pulled up to Johnny Red’s Barbecue Blitz.
The shack of a restaurant had a small screen door front porch.
Beyond that was a small storefront to order from and then nothing but counter and kitchen past that.
Diners could eat on one of the many picnic tables or at wooden counters lining the sides of the building.
Multiple families were eating when Lindsey pulled up and got out.
Her phone rang. “Yes, honey, dang, I’m getting the ribs, even though I should be at work! I swear. Why can’t you order and go do the pickup? Because you work from home? Is that what you call it? Remote? How much porn have you ingested today during your ‘workday’?”
Lindsey stopped short of entering the establishment despite signs of an argument inside. The shouts were loud, but she was too shocked by her husband mentioning how he was currently watching porn. He normally hid his proclivities from her as if she was law enforcement in the home and outside it.
“You’re watching porn now? Since when did you get so confessional? You know I was thinking about something earlier. Maybe I come home right now, and we have some fun,” Lindsey said, feeling flush.
A customer barged past, bumping her hard enough she almost fell off the front steps. The collision left her chest smeared red as if blood-soaked.
“Excuse you!” Lindsey shouted, realizing her husband remained on the line. “No, not you, honey.”
The man continued toward his distant truck, Lindsey called out to him again and the man threw the bird over his shoulder before tossing a bag of food into the truck.
When the man turned to get into his truck, Lindsey noticed how he appeared bloody head to toe.
The sheriff slipped into work mode, hanging up on her husband. She ignored his immediate return call.
“Eldon Mulch? Are you okay?” Lindsey asked.
Suddenly, the screen door burst open, and Johnny rushed out baseball bat in hand. Johnny wore sauce as well. The sheriff tried to figure out what was going on when she sniffed the red smears across her own chest. She licked it. Barbecue sauce.
Eldon peeled out, leaving a gigantic dust cloud in his midst. The sheriff thought the behavior was odd, as the fleeing man was seventy years old.
Could have fooled her based on how Eldon body slammed her on the way out.
Johnny growled and eyed the sheriff while climbing back up the steps. She followed. He gave her a sour look.
“Where were you five minutes ago?”
Before she answered, he let the screen door slam in her face.
She threw it open, aggravated and confused.
Once inside, she gained clarity. Red splattered the entire entrance to the restaurant and shards of glass covered the floor.
A display rack of barbecue sauce sat mostly empty.
Broken bottles lined the floor where they were smashed like sweet smelling bombs.
One had been smashed against a nearby wall.
Lindsey figured someone could throw a frame around it and call it art.
The thought made her snort with laughter.
A worker swept up the mess while Johnny wheeled out a mop and bucket. Despite the obvious chaos, smoke filled the air. Grills were going. The place normally smelled wonderful, but the odor of the thick red on her outfit overwhelmed her. Her husband kept ringing her phone. She ignored it.
“What happened?”
“Regular customer always gripes about more sauce. Then today he would not stop. We gave him extra even though we normally charge. He said that wasn’t enough. Opened a bottle and gulped the damn thing down. Then he smashed the bottle. He grabbed another and did the same,” Johnny said.
“He drank all these?”
“Nah. Did the two and then started smashing them all, cursing us all out. That’s when I went for the bat. Why didn’t you arrest him?”
“Because I just now found out. I know where he lives. I’ll pick him up.”
“You wouldn’t need to if you got him just now! Lazy cop. All of you lazy cops. How many times we get robbed before you catch someone?”
“Is that your way of asking for help?”
“Nah. It’s my way of telling you how full of crap you are,” Johnny said. “Maybe I should chase you out with the bat as well. Make sure you get some pep in your step. Get after the goon who made Johnny Red’s red!”
Johnny went for the bat, raising it. Lindsey placed her hand on her weapon and backed away.
The worker with the broom raised it and got in line behind Johnny.
The cook stepped out from behind the counter and grabbed the mop as a weapon.
It made no sense. She knew them all, but the men were rage filled.
She stepped back and out the door even as the trio followed.
“I understand you are upset but drop the damn weapons or things will get ugly,” the sheriff said.
Off to one side of the establishment, families at picnic tables stared at her with rage filled faces though they continued eating even while watching her. They gorged on massive amounts of food, their faces smeared red like her chest. The sight unsettled her, but she had bigger fish to fry.
Her husband’s ringtone blared again, which gave the advancing trio a new target. Somehow, the ringtone set the men off further. Johnny placed the bat over his shoulder and kept approaching.
“You going to get that?” he snarled.
“Yeah, you going to get that?” the cook asked before spitting into the dirt.
“Answer the damn phone!” Johnny rushed forward, swinging.
Lindsey drew her gun too late. She ducked to avoid the blow and came back up, swinging.
She hit Johnny in the side of the head with her gun.
He tumbled to the ground, dropping the bat.
She trapped it underfoot before picking it up.
Johnny’s hand came away from his head caked in blood, though it was hard to tell with all the sauce.
“Gee, what did you do that for?” he asked the sheriff.
“Yeah, why’d you do that?” The cook asked as the two workers checked on their downed boss.
Lindsey holstered her weapon and climbed into her car. Her night was becoming one big paperwork mess. The phone rang again, and she tossed it out the window. She needed to get to the station to talk with her new friend and find out what was going on.