Chapter 30
Harrison
Walking toward the deck from the shore, I look up into the sky. Not a cloud in sight. “You’d like it today. Perfect temperature, just a mild breeze,” I say out loud, as if she can hear me. Plopping myself down on my step, I lean to one side and retrieve my phone. I forgot I’d brought it along.
Joyce, Ellie, and Charlene had stuck around to help go through Mom’s things. I’ll be forever grateful, as I just don’t think I could’ve handled it. Despite their efforts, my Magic 8 ball hadn’t turned up. They did locate a few pairs of Harlow’s panties. They were clean and tucked away in Mom’s dresser for safe keeping. She must’ve found them and put them in her hamper.
It’s been a week since everyone left. The quiet is almost deafening. There are times I contemplate getting a dog. Then I remember the chaos of trying to care for someone around my work schedule and realize that’s not possible right now.
Braxton has been really understanding about losing Mom. He’s working around my need to process this fully before I can get back to it. Yet I know I need to push myself to move on. He can’t put plans on hold forever.
My eyes drift down the pink sandy coastline to a young family happily frolicking in the turquoise surf. Hell, I want that. I’d never allowed myself to consider just how much until now. Visions of Harlow, Justin, Alec, and me replace the family down the shoreline. My mind has been contemplating crazy things in all of this silence. Even things that terrify me. That stupid ass song Joyce played has been doing a number on me.
Dance, Harry. Dance.
2:48 p.m.
Harrison
I’m sorry.
Shit . Why did I hit send? I wasn’t done yet.
2:49 p.m.
Harrison
You deserve better.
I stare at the phone, trying to think of what to say. I don’t want to ramble on. Hell, I don’t mind if she thinks I’m begging. I deserve to beg. All I had to do was communicate with her about what I was feeling, like Braxton had said. Talk to her about my limitations. She could’ve decided if she was willing to hang in there. Maybe I didn’t want to hear the answer if she planned to walk away like all of the rest.
Unlike the last text I sent, she responds to this one almost immediately.
3:04 p.m.
Harlow
You’re right. I do.
While her self-assuredness is one of her most alluring qualities, she’s confirmed why I hadn’t tried harder. That gnawing in my chest aches a little more. That really is a no.
It’s your own fault, Harry. You practically pushed her away.
Harlow
“Boys, stop running!”
I’m beyond agitated and them running around the house isn’t helping. Normally, I find their antics energizing. But this isn’t the time.
My brows furrow. I shouldn’t yell at them. None of this is their fault. I’d barely recovered from seeing Harrison sending off his latest paramour before he had the nerve to send an apology text. Had he seen me? It was all I could do not to blow up his phone. But I won’t give him the satisfaction of thinking I’m some crazed, jealous stalker.
As painful as it’s been to learn the truth, at least I can stop pining for him. Wondering about his life and wishing he’d call. And to think I kept making up excuses. His mother needed him. He was busy. Not too busy to bring a woman home.
And there’s no sense wondering if introducing him to my boys was what pushed him away. That was the intent. To put all my cards on the table and wait for his next move. Well, I did. And so did he. Accept it and move on, Harlow.
Ding, dong.
“I’ve got it. Let me get it!” Alec yells as he flies down the steps, Justin hot on his heels.
“Boys, someone’s going to get hurt if you keep running up and down the stairs like that!” It’s official. My nerves are shot. I’m not sure I can handle much more.
“Dad!”
For real?
“Rob, what are you doing here?”
“Hey, nice to see you too, Har.” He chuckles. “Alec was telling me about a video they watched at their summer arts and crafts program where people were building cool things out of household items instead of Legos. I thought I’d surprise him by helping him build something.”
“Here?”
“Sure, why not?”
“No way! That would be awesome.” Alec is literally jumping up and down.
Leaning forward, I look for his other half. “You here alone?”
“Yeah. Jimmy’s been busy with work.”
I quirk a brow at him. What exactly is happening here? It’s been years since I’ve seen one of these two without the other. “Alec, can you do Mom a favor?”
“Sure, what?”
“Can you go get the green felt from the playroom we put down over the kitchen table when we work on puzzles? So, we can move the project when it’s time to eat.”
“Okay.”
Once Alec and Justin are out of ear shot, I give Rob the inquisition. “Why are you really doing this?”
“I’m trying to step up, Har. I want to be more involved with Alec.”
Hmmm. I hate being so suspicious.
“And it gets lonely at the house when everyone’s working.”
“Rob, you know there’s a solution to that, right?”
“Yes.” He narrows his eyes at me. “I’ve applied for a few things. I’m waiting to hear back.” Well at least he’s not holding out for a management position.
Shaking my head, I decide to pour myself another cup of coffee. This week is going downhill fast. “You want a cup?”
“Sure. Oh, that reminds me. I almost forgot.” He runs out the front door like the house’s on fire before returning with a large grocery bag. As I place his mug of coffee next to him, he retrieves box after box of sugar cubes.
“Um, Rob? You want a little coffee with your sugar?” I laugh.
He looks at me dumbfounded, and I point to the boxes. “Oh, these. They’re to make the castle.”
I tilt my head, completely overwhelmed by this nonsensical conversation.
“After Alec watched the videos of people making a pretend playground set out of sour gummy candies, he said he’d want to make a castle. I wasn’t sure where to go with it, ’til I saw Harry.”
My head whips over to him, certain I’ve heard him wrong.
“Who?”
“Your boyfriend. Well, I guess he’s not your boyfriend anymore.”
How on earth does Rob know so much about my love life? Has Alec been telling him we don’t see each other anymore? “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?”
“I was at the grocery store, wandering the aisles, trying to think of something cool to use to build the castle. Then I see Harry. I told him my plan, and he said to try these.”
“When was this, exactly?”
“About a week ago. That’s when I figured you two must not be together anymore.”
I cross my arms over my shoulders, almost afraid to hear more.
“At first, I wasn’t sure it was Harry. He looks like he’s lost weight. And he wasn’t wearing the cast anymore. But then he looked at me. I was almost positive it was him. But instead of saying hello, he looked right through me. It was as if he’d seen a ghost.”
The memory of the way I’d felt when he’d done that at the construction site comes back to haunt me. What had happened to make this larger-than-life man change so? In the short time I’d known him, he’d gone out of his way to welcome people into his world. Even the new girl’s kids and ex-husbands.
“It didn’t seem like him. I thought I had to have the wrong guy. Until I got closer. That’s when I told him about the video and wanting to build a castle with Alec. And he recommended I try the sugar cubes. He seemed nice enough about it, but not the happy-go-lucky guy I remember from his house. Then… well…”
“Well, what?”
“Then some redhead came around the corner pushing a cart. I could tell they were together. I’m sorry, Har. I really liked the guy. I was hoping it would work out with you two.”
My face falls. And here I’d thought so fondly of that day in the grocery store with him. I know it’s dumb, but I’d never had such a carefree afternoon with someone who treated me like an equal. Little did I know, this is just his M.O. Offer to cook for them. See if they’ll bite and spend the night.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know, really. I think it was too much too fast. You know. That’s how I roll.”
Just be thankful you didn’t get pregnant this time, Harlow.
I notice something in the periphery and turn to find Justin staring up the steps. That’s odd. All of a sudden, his expression changes, and he rushes upstairs. My mom’s intuition bells are clanging like mad. Did something happen?
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Rob as I take two steps at a time to make sure everything is okay. But my hair stands on end as I hear my little guys.
“Don’t cry, Alec. It’s okay,” Justin soothes.
His little brother responds with louder sobs.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, rushing to their side. Alec has his face buried in his pillow, his older brother rubbing his back. “Are you hurt? Or sick?” Jeez, he was fine a minute ago. Although they seemed to be taking an awfully long time bringing the green table covering down.
Alec rolls on his side, his poor little face red and blotchy. “It’s my fault.”
“What is?”
“Why Harry doesn’t let us come over any more.”
“What? No, honey. That has nothing to do with you. Why would you say that?”
He opens his mouth to speak, only to bury his face back in the pillow and wail. My eyes connect with Justin’s, and it’s clear he knows the scoop. I lift a brow, giving him the universal sign for fess up . Justin reaches down under the bed and lifts the object high enough I can see it.
I gasp, but quickly cover my mouth so Alec won’t get any more upset than he already is.
Harrison’s Magic 8 ball.
But why? “Alec, honey. I need you to talk to me.”
He rolls on his side until he sees Justin holding the black sphere. Covering his face with his hands, he starts to cry louder.
“Alec. Talk to me. Why do you have this?”
Alec is blubbering so loudly, I’m not sure he could speak if he wanted to.
“If I tell you what I think happened, will you promise no one will get in trouble?” Justin asks fearfully.
“Baby, I can’t promise that. It’s never okay to take something that doesn’t belong to you.” Because I’m certain Harrison wouldn’t have given that to Alec after sharing it was his father’s. Not without telling me. “But I won’t love anyone any less. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“It’s not all his fault,” Justin whispers. “Rob has been teaching him bad things.”
My spine stiffens. What the heck?
“When we go out, if Rob needs toilet paper, he’ll send Alec and me into the bathroom and tell us to bring back a roll. He takes sugar packets from the table. He says it’s not really stealing. That the restaurant owes it to us because their prices are so high.”
My head is about to blow. If my son wasn’t already a whimpering mess, I’d yell for his deadbeat dad to get up here this instant. I need to make sure Alec doesn’t suffer any more for the poor choices Rob has made.
“Baby, come here.” I grab my little man and pull him into my lap. “I’m sorry you’re hurting. It wasn’t a good choice to take Harry’s Magic 8 ball, but that’s not why we don’t see each other anymore. I shouldn’t have introduced you to him until I was sure we were going to be better friends. That’s on Mom. But when you’re older, you’ll see that sometimes boys and girls don’t stay friends.”
“Who’d want to be friends with a girl anyway?”
I squint my eyes at him, trying to remain playful.
“Well, except you,” he quickly corrects, batting away a few more tears.
“I’m going to talk to your dad. It’s not okay to take anything that doesn’t belong to you without permission. And whether it’s toilet paper, sugar packets, salt and pepper shakers, or a Magic 8 ball, they don’t belong to you.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“We need to give this back to Harrison.”
“But he’ll be mad at me,” he bellows.
“He might be upset, but I don’t think he’ll be mad if you tell him the truth. And that you’re sorry and won’t do it again.” While I might be angry that things didn’t work out as I’d hoped with him, deep down, I believe he’s a good man. Maybe he’s a player like all the rest. But he was good to my kids, and amazing with his mother. I have no reason to think he’d be any harder on Alec than I am.
“Listen, I need to have a few minutes alone with your dad.”
“Please don’t tell him. I don’t want him mad at me too,” Alec begs.
“Baby, I’m not mad.” At you anyway. “And he won’t be either.” I rub his little back. It’s not his fault he’s been taught that this is okay. “Let me just straighten all of this out so we can start building your castle. Okay?”
“Really?” He sniffles. “We can still do that?”
I kiss his little cheeks. “Of course, we can.” But his dad is going to be gluing every single cube together. His fingers will be so covered in dried paste, he won’t be able to jack off for months.
“Holy cow, Harlow. You’ve really had a shit week,” Shay blurts into the phone. “What are you going to do about the Magic 8 ball? Are you going to leave it on Harry’s doorstep?”
“I haven’t completely figured that out yet. But I think Alec needs to give it back to him. I’m just praying that the whole thing isn’t completely awkward.” I pause, wondering if I want to share the rest. “Harrison messaged me the morning after I saw him hugging his latest conquest.”
“What? Harlow! You didn’t tell me that. What did he say?”
“He had the nerve to say, Sorry. You deserve better. Like I don’t know that.” I spit out angrily. “But now I feel like I’ll probably need to call him to talk before just arriving on his door with my little kleptomaniac.”
Alec may have taken it all in stride the first time, but I want to make this as quick and easy as possible. Tell Harrison what happened, keep it all about a life lesson for my son, return the 8 ball, and get the hell outta there.
“Ugh. What a mess.”
“You got that right. Rob agreed to take the boys to the beach tomorrow. Considering the mess he created for Alec, and me, it’s the least he could do. I think I’m going to start drinking as soon as they walk out the door. Maybe it’ll help me figure out how to confront Harry and beg his forgiveness for my child, all in one conversation. You want to meet for Bloody Mary’s somewhere?”
“Sure. But I have a better idea. Why don’t we treat ourselves to a spa day? I know just the place where we could do both.”