Chapter 31
Coco reached out to take Graham’s hands. “I know Brent wasn’t part of your plan, Graham. But why do you keep fighting your feelings for him? It’s obvious you’re head over heels for the guy.”
Defensive, Graham pulled his hands away. “It…isn’t that simple, Coco.” He chewed his lip in thought. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, honest. But this is my life we’re talking about—a little more complicated than holiday sweets, yes?” He eyed their gingerbread house meaningfully.
Coco, however, did not appear convinced. “Come on, Graham. You like him. He likes you. What’s complicated about that?”
“Everything,” Graham answered with a sigh.
“Sure, Brent is fun…kind…” He began to slip into reverie.
“Dreamy…sexy…” A crimson wave colored his cheeks as he realized he was speaking out loud.
“But none of that matters, all right? There’s no future in us, Coco.
We live two completely different lives. Besides, come Christmas, it’s back to LA for you and me, and I’ll probably never see him again. ”
Although he’d meant it to help his case, the reminder of how little time he had left with Brent touched him with a tinge of sadness. He willed himself to keep a stiff upper lip.
“And don’t you forget,” he steamrolled past his feelings, “this is in your best interests, too. If anyone starts suspecting something between Brent and me, our little charade as a happy, heterosexual couple starts looking none too convincing, wouldn’t you say?
Then there goes our cover, and the next thing you know, the media catches on, the whole thing becomes a field day, Holiday with the Wholesomes gets embroiled in a tabloid scandal, and it’s your head and mine on the chopping block!
” He furrowed his brow, resolute. “No, ma’am.
I don’t care how hot Brent has gotten. If we pull this off, Coco, it could be my ticket to the promotion I’ve been waiting for.
And I, for one, am not about to throw away my life plans on account of some reckless holiday romance. I have to think about my future.”
The remark drew a look of pity from Coco. “But what kind of future is that if it costs you how you feel?” Her eyes flicked hintingly toward their gingerbread house.
Graham released a frustrated groan. “Look, I don’t expect you to get it, Coco. You’re a rich celebrity. You were literally born with a silver spoon in your mouth.”
A beat of silence passed as Coco appeared to turn inward. “Maybe. But that silver spoon sure rusted in record time.”
Graham cocked his head, perplexed. “What? But you said you grew up in the lap of luxury.”
“No, you said that, Graham,” Coco countered. “Growing up, I sang for my supper—and danced, and acted, and did just about every other job in showbiz two parents could shove at a child star.”
At this, Graham’s face lengthened in awe. “You mean, it wasn’t your decision to—”
“Jiminy Christmas, Graham, no! I never wanted to be a star. All I wanted was to be a normal, everyday kid. But Mumsy and Popsy, as soon as they realized I had a knack for theatrics, all they saw was dollar signs. Since practically the day I started talking, Graham, they had me working to the bone—all for the glory of having America’s sweetheart as their daughter.
” Gazing into their gingerbread house, she appeared as if her mind had traveled off in time.
“I guess that’s why I connected with my grandmother’s story so much.
I know that, looking on from the outside, Graham, you’d think I’ve lived a charmed life.
And don’t get me wrong, it’s come with its perks.
But no amount of Jimmy Choos or Gucci bags will ever make up for the hell that’s come with fame.
” She took a pause, contemplation written on her face.
“I think that, ultimately, that’s what did my grandmother in.
And honestly, it scares me to death that one day it might be my undoing, too.
” With a deep breath, she appeared to return to the present.
“You’re luckier than you realize, Graham.
I would give anything to have had a normal, happy home growing up. ”
Silence hung between them as Graham felt his eyes glisten.
Now it made sense—why Coco had so hastily changed the subject after his insult earlier.
Clearly, life hadn’t been nearly the walk in the park for her that he’d always assumed.
Shame gripped his chest as he thought back to every time he’d judged her for her wild party antics.
Just another spoiled-rotten Hollywood princess without a clue to what real life was like.
As if. Coco’s exploits—the clubbing, the scandals, the booze—they weren’t recklessness. They were a cry for help. A cry for help from someone who’d never known true safety or security in her life.
The sting of guilt sank into Graham’s veins. It turned out he had more in common with the bane of his existence than he’d realized.
“Coco,” he said, voice fragile, “I had no—”
“Just don’t take for granted what you have here, Graham.”
Another beat of silence passed.
“Well, don’t forget,” he finally replied, “growing up wasn’t all baseball and apple pie for me, either. Remember, I was a closeted, small-town gay boy here in the middle of nowhere. Not exactly a picture-perfect childhood.”
Again, she reached out to take Graham’s hands. “Why don’t you finally tell your mother? You know she loves you.”
And again, Graham promptly pulled them away. “It’s complicated, Coco. Like, I’m all she’s got, you know? She’s always been so proud of me. Straight A’s, full ride to college, successful businessman in the city—the perfect golden boy.”
“Sounds like a lot of pressure to put on yourself if you ask me,” Coco responded.
The weight of the sigh Graham heaved then confirmed it. “It’s just that she wasn’t exactly dealt the best hand in life. I think, in a way, she views me as her second chance. I’d hate to do anything to tarnish what she sees in me, Coco. Not even Brent is worth that.”
Almost as if on cue, the sound of his mother coming down the stairs reached his ears. “What about Brent, dear?”
Every fiber in Graham’s body froze. Frantic, he stammered for a response. “His, uh, hot cocoa.” He indicated Coco’s mug. “I don’t care how good it is. It isn’t worth the extra calories.”
An inscrutable look surfaced on Carol’s face as she arrived in the kitchen.
“Whatever you say, dear.” She opened up a tin on the counter.
“I just came down for a little midnight snack.” Retrieving a cookie, she resealed the container.
“Don’t you two stay up too late now.” With that, she took her leave back up the stairs.
Graham released a full-body sigh of relief. “That was a close one.”
He couldn’t help but notice, though, the sad look pulling at Coco’s face.
“Graham,” she said, “your mother has a wonderful, kind—albeit thick-headed—son. You’ve already made her proud.
All she wants now is to see you happy. And something tells me that whoever that is—male or female or anyone in between—she’s going to love them every bit as much as she loves you.
Call it women’s intuition.” Rising from her seat, she patted Graham on the shoulder.
The next thing he knew, he was watching her ascend the stairs back up to bed, Brent’s hot cocoa lovingly in-hand.
It was in that moment Graham realized he’d lost his appetite completely.