Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
W ill was here! Rebecca stared at herself in the mirror.
What the hell? Her dream had come true– Will had missed her– and she felt sick.
Really sick. Her stomach churned with slow flops over and over.
This is what she’d always wanted. For Will to see her and now…
And what about Felipe? He made her feel alive, sparkly and happy.
It was like going cold turkey. One minute they’d been laughing and joking together and the next minute she was watching his stiff back disappear into the distance and wanting to run after him. Her thoughts zigzagged backwards and forwards, drunk with confusion. She really didn’t know what to think.
In an attempt to pull her herself together, she splashed some cold water on her face. It would be rude to leave Will waiting for her out on the terrace any longer. She took in a deep breath and forced herself to straighten up and grasp the bathroom door.
‘Quite a view. This place is a real find,’ he said, as she sat down opposite him, taking the glass of wine he’d ordered for her. ‘I think I’m going to be able to get a lot of work done here. And it obviously agrees with you.’ He paused and studied her face. ‘You’re… different. Glowing.’
‘Oh,’ she said, flushing a little because he was probably seeing the benefit of post-sex endorphins and happy hormones.
‘It’s so good to see you, Becca.’ He leaned forward and took her hand, raising it to his mouth and kissing her knuckles one by one.
‘I’ve really missed you,’ he said again.
With a sombre laugh he shook his head. ‘It was only after you left I realised how much time we spent together and how much’—he lowered his voice—‘I care about you. I think we’re good together. ’
Now, having waited for years to hear this sort of declaration from him, all she could do was stare dumbly at him.
‘Have I surprised you?’ he asked, clearly wanting to prompt her into speech.
She nodded. ‘Yes. I mean, it’s lovely to see you.
I just… wasn’t expecting it. It’s…’ Shock was one way of putting it, but she didn’t think that was terribly diplomatic.
With a tilt of her head, she studied him, wanting to say that he looked well but his face was a little pale.
‘You’ve been working too hard,’ she observed, and he smiled.
‘You know me so well.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘It’s so good to see you.’
‘How’s the book coming along?’ she asked, not wanting to fall into the trap of telling him that it was good to see him, too. She didn’t know how she felt; her emotions were in total disorder, as if someone had rummaged through them and jumbled them up.
His expression lightened and he looked pleased that she’d asked– almost magnanimous.
Oh dear, was she deliberately trying to find fault with him?
Was it weird that she couldn’t quash the slight resentment at his untimely intrusion or that he’d assumed he’d be welcome?
Had he forgotten what had happened the month before she left?
‘Slowly. You know what it’s like.’
Actually, she didn’t. The thought of sitting and writing for hours was anathema to her. She’d rather be doing things. Keeping moving. She wasn’t very good at sitting still.
‘But it’s coming along well. I’m two-thirds of the way through.
That’s part of the reason I came. I knew I needed to get away from the minutiae of daily life.
Staying in a hotel will allow me that unrestricted time.
I know you’ll be working during the day, so it’s ideal.
We can get together in the evenings. It will be my reward for putting in the graft.
And it would be great if you could read some and let me know what you think. I always value your opinion.’
She leaned forward, relieved to be on steadier ground and pleased they were lapsing into their usual rhythm. They’d been friends for a long time.
‘What’s this book about?’
Will wrote personal development books and was reasonably successful. His breakout several years ago had been all about how to survive grief after his wife had died.
‘This one is going to be quite controversial. It’s about the importance of self-worth.
Being the main character in your own story.
Giving yourself permission to be selfish.
There’s been so much stuff about collective community, I think there’s a need for a reset.
My publisher’s very excited about it. I need to deliver in the next month, so I thought to myself, a writing retreat where I don’t have to worry about anything but getting the words down would be perfect.
And I get to spend some quality time with you too.
’ His smile was slow to unfold as if he were eking it out bit by bit. ‘Win, win.’
‘Win, win,’ she echoed, giving him a smile.
She studied his face, reminding herself of the features she’d always found so attractive.
Will was boyishly handsome, with big blue eyes, an endearing smile and that floppy hair that he brushed back from his forehead whenever he looked at her, as if to get a better glimpse.
‘Exactly,’ he said, taking her arm. ‘Now, why don’t you show me around and help me get my bearings. I really want to find a shady nook where I can set up a desk. I think writing outside would really help me be more in-the-moment. More in tune with nature.’
She nodded, although she’d find working outside far too distracting. She’d be wanting to jump in the pool every five minutes.
When she showed him the spa centre, with the treatment rooms, the lap pool and the Pilates pagoda, he was impressed.
‘You know what? I could record some promo videos here. Talking about the importance of wellness and looking after yourself. Putting yourself at the centre of things and not feeling guilty about taking time for you.’
‘Sounds great in principle.’ Rebecca was guilty of feeling a little disloyal. She wondered how many women could afford to do any of that. It had been impressed upon her that her time was somehow less valuable than that of herbrothers– even in the twenty-first century.
‘It is great. You just need to embrace it. It’s a positive mental attitude.’
‘If you say so,’ she said with a teasing grin which didn’t land the way she’d hoped.
‘I do. That’s what the book is all about. It’s important to take these things seriously.’
‘Of course it is,’ she said, more to placate him.
When Alicia had died, he’d become very intense and introspective and she’d supported him; listening to him and, she guessed, indulging him, because he had needed a friend and someone to talk to.
Maybe it had become a little bit too ingrained.
He needed to lighten up. Loosen up a little.
It was sad, but he’d forgotten how to have fun.
She gave him a guided tour of the property, then showed him one of the fields.
‘This is where a lot of the fresh produce is grown. Strawberries, mint, basil, marjoram?—’
Will held up a hand. ‘Seen one herb, you’ve seen them all. And I don’t need to see strawberries growing. I just like eating them.’
Rebecca gave a half-hearted giggle. ‘I thought you wanted to be in tune with nature.’
Her attempt to tease him fell flat once again.
‘Rebecca, darling. Nature at a macro level, not a micro one. There’s a difference.’
‘Is there?’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘I can’t decide if you’re being playful or combative.’
‘Playful. I’m only teasing,’ said Rebecca.
‘Sorry. I think I’m so deep in this book, I find it hard to take my foot off the pedal. I need some downtime.’ His eyes crinkled in an endearing smile. ‘And some time with you to make me see there’s more to life than working.’
‘That sounds like an excellent idea,’ she said, relieved. Had it always been this difficult to raise a smile from him? Clearly he did need her, so why didn’t that make her feel happy? It was what she’d always wanted, wasn’t it?
They returned to the terrace and ordered another drink. Rebecca stretched, raising her arms above her head and tilting her head back to feel the sun’s warmth on her face.
‘ Olá , Rebecca!’ Cristina came barrelling up to their table in the corner, waving an ice-cream cone in her hand. ‘Did you have a good time in Lisbon. Did you meet Felipe’s fancy lady? Is this your boyfriend?’
Rebeca cringed inwardly. ‘Hi, Cristina, this is my friend Will. He’s writing a book, so he’s come out for some peace and quiet.’
‘That’s good,’ said Cristina, licking her ice cream and sliding into the seat opposite Will. ‘Have you come to see Rebecca?’
‘Yes,’ said Will. ‘And to write my book. I’m an author.’ At her blank stare, he added. ‘I write books.’
Cristina seemed remarkably unmoved by this statement. People were normally a little more interested.
‘Did you like Lisbon? Did you go on a tram? We did when we went. Did you meet Felipe’s friends? I know Kimberley. She’s really cool and so is her boyfriend, Alonso. I’ve met them on FaceTime. I want them to come stay here.’
Rebecca laughed at the slew of questions and download of information. ‘I loved Lisbon. Yes, I went on a tram. I met Felipe’s friends and Kimberley. She is cool.’
‘Yeah, way cooler than Katerina thinks she is. Katerina’s not cool at all, she just thinks she is. She’s gone to the beach this afternoon with that lame boy.’ She turned to Will. ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’
Will tilted his head, as if humouring her. ‘If I did, I’m not sure I’d be telling you. How old are you?’
‘Twelve and a half. Katerina says I’m too nosy.’
‘I’d say Katerina, whoever she is, is probably right,’ said Will.
‘Will!’ remonstrated Rebecca.
‘What? This is exactly what I’m talking about in my book.’
‘Katerina is my sister. We live here. My dad used to part own the hotel but he died with Tia Maria’s husband. In an accident. It was very sad. But it would have been sadder if Felipe had died too.’
‘Felipe was there?’ asked Rebecca, aghast. She knew that the two men had died in an accident, but no one had mentioned that Felipe had been involved as well.
‘Yes. They were out on their bikes and a car came too fast around the corner on the wrong side of the road. Papai and Tio were killed straight away. Felipe had to go to the hospital because he hit his head, but he was okay.’
Rebecca shivered. She’d had no idea. Poor Felipe. That was quite a burden to carry.
‘I was just little. Only two. I don’t really remember my papai so much. I’ve always lived with Tia Maria and we all lived here because my m?e died before.’
So much tragedy , thought Rebecca. No wonder the family were so close.
‘That’s very sad, but you’re lucky to have Tia Maria and your cousins.’
‘Felipe is so bossy. He sometimes thinks he is like papai .’ Cristina wrinkled her nose in disgust.
‘I’m sure he’s just looking out for you,’ said Rebecca.
The young girl sniffed. ‘Mmm.’ It reminded Rebecca of how annoying her brothers had been when she was younger and how galling it had been that they always got preferential treatment.
Here, everyone in the house seemed to pull their weight helping around the hotel, except Felipe.
She had no idea what he did, apart from charm the staff and guests.
Perhaps his brush with death had reinforced the life-is-too-short mantra, which she could understand.
And he’d had to bear a lot of responsibility in the years he should have been enjoying life.
No wonder he didn’t want any further strings. He had enough of his own already.
She sneaked a glance at Will, absorbed in his phone.
Cristina intercepted her look and grinned in sudden delight before hopping off her chair and skipping away.
Will didn’t look up from his phone.
‘It’s safe to come out now,’ she joked.
‘What?’ Will peeled his attention away from the phone.
‘She’s gone.’
‘Oh. I wasn’t paying much attention. Who is she?’
‘She’s Felipe’s cousin. She lives here.’
‘And who is Felipe again?’
She didn’t bother answering because she could see he was absorbed in his phone and only half paying attention and he didn’t notice she hadn’t replied.
A minute later he put his phone down. ‘Sorry about that. A note from my editor.’ He smiled at her. ‘But I’m all yours now.’ A gentle smile teased his lips. ‘So when the kid asked if I was your boyfriend…’
Rebecca stared at him.
He smiled. ‘You said we were friends. I’d like that to change.’
‘You would?’ Her voice sounded a little pitchy, and inside she felt as if she’d stepped off a cliff and was waiting for the fall.