Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
‘ S orry about breakfast,’ said Rebecca, picking up her wine glass and taking the first sip. It had been a long but satisfying day and the Vinho Verde was very welcome.
‘It’s not a problem,’ said Will. ‘I do understand you’re here to work. And I’m sorry about this evening. I would have liked to have dinner with you but I’ve been trying to speak to this guy for weeks, and tonight is the only day he could do it.’
‘Again, not a problem. Maria, Mrs Rebelo, is the most amazing cook and she cooks dinner for the family every night.’
‘You eat with the family?’
‘I am staff. Although they make me very welcome.’ She smiled, thinking of the noise levels earlier and the excitement about the makeover. Will wouldn’t have enjoyed it at all.
‘You look happy. Portugal suits you,’ he said, tilting his head to one side and studying her.
‘It does. I love it here.’
‘It is lovely,’ he lifted his cup. ‘And the coffee is great but I’m sure wall-to-wall sunshine would wear thin after a while. I mean, part of the joy of sunshine for us is that we’re not used to it.’
‘It’s not just the weather,’ said Rebecca, toying with her wine glass, ‘although I do love being outside as much as possible.’ She smiled at his sombre face, trying to share her enthusiasm. ‘Eating outside in the evening is such a treat. I’m not sure I’ll ever take that for granted.’
Will shrugged. ‘Yes, I get that but when we get good summers at home, we can appreciate them properly because they’re not guaranteed.’
‘True,’ said Rebecca, agreeing with him as she always did, but a little spark inside urged her on to express her own opinion. She’d always admired and respected Will’s keen intellect but, she realised, she often let him take the main stage.
‘I love the lifestyle here,’ said Rebecca with startling clarity. ‘People celebrate food and family. It’s important to them. It takes precedence. Portuguese families get together and spend time together as a unit.’
‘Not every family is like yours where everything revolves around sport, you know. Alicia and I ate together every night.’ His voice softened, the way it did whenever he talked about his wife.
‘I know,’ she said with the quiet sympathy she always felt when he mentioned Alicia.
He’d been through so much. He was a good man and he’d been a good husband to Alicia– stable, steadfast and sweet, as well as completely committed to her.
Being faithful and rock-steady was his superpower. It was something she shouldn’t dismiss.
She thought of Felipe, who freely admitted he didn’t do commitment, although she could understand why. After all he’d been through with the death of his father and uncle, loving someone and looking after them would be just another burden.
Will reached over and took her hand. ‘I’ve neglected you, haven’t I?’
‘What?’
‘Taken you for granted. I’m really sorry.’ He gave her an engaging smile. ‘Too much a case of not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone.’ He paused. ‘Listen, there’s something I need to tell you. I think I might be in love with you, Rebecca.’
Elation warred with surprise and the hard, uncomfortable thud of her heart in her chest disconcerted her. They were the words she’d longed to hear for so long.
‘You are?’
‘Of course I am. You’re my best friend and you’ve been there for me. I know you love me and I’m sorry I’ve not said anything before.’ He rose and came around to her side of table. Then he was taking her elbows and pulling her to her feet and putting his hands on her waist. ‘I’ve missed you.’
She swallowed and readied herself for the kiss. The intent was written all over his face like a major announcement. It should have been a big moment, but she felt awkward. His lips, when they touched hers, were warm and gentle, just a little hesitant, and too… soft.
A surge of warmth rose up inside her but if she were honest, she wasn’t sure if it was tenderness or fondness. She kissed him back and they bumped noses.
‘Sorry,’ she said. He angled his head, but so did she and they almost missed their mouths.
He laughed. ‘I think maybe we need more practice at this. Take things slowly.’
‘I think we do,’ she said.
‘Why don’t we see how things go? Take each day as it comes.’
‘That sounds like a plan,’ she said, nodding, her heart warming at his earnest expression. ‘How about dinner tomorrow? I’ve got the day off.’
‘Erm… tomorrow’s not that convenient. I need to work most evenings because that’s when the people I interview are available, so dinner is off the table, but we can always meet for a drink later after I’ve finished. Except Saturday, I’m afraid I’ve already made plans to meet some friends.’
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Although I could come along if you wanted me to? Nice to meet some of your friends.’
‘Mmm, slightly awkward. They’re friends of Alicia’s. They’re quite possessive of her memory and I haven’t mentioned you to them before. It might be quite a shock for them. I wouldn’t want to upset them.’
‘Okay,’ said Rebecca, realising he was thinking of their feelings. He cared about that sort of thing. A lot of men wouldn’t. She could be conciliatory on this occasion. There’d be other chances to meet them, she was sure.
‘Why don’t we go for dinner at the beginning of next week?
Say, Tuesday, after my deadline, and I can devote myself to you instead of worrying about my work.
We can go somewhere really special. Make a proper date of it.
I want to spoil you. Do things properly.
It will be our first official date.’ He beamed at her.
‘In the meantime, let’s spend as much time together as we can. ’
Her expression softened.
‘I’m not very good at the hearts and flowers stuff.’
‘You don’t need to be,’ said Rebecca, thinking of the roses he used to buy for Alicia.
It didn’t bother her. She wasn’t the hearts and flowers type either.
Loyalty and stability were much more important.
Her parents’ marriage had lurched like a floundering ship as her father had indulged in one flirtation after another, never quite overstepping the mark into a full-blown affair but never far short.
No wonder her brothers were so selfish. They hadn’t exactly had a positive role model.
In contrast, Will would be there for the long haul.
‘But I know we’re right together,’ he said, taking her hand.
‘There’s something I need to clear up,’ said Rebecca. ‘The night of the ball.’
Will had the grace to look a little shamefaced.
‘That was just a one-night stand. It didn’t mean anything. I’d had a bit to drink. She really came on to me?—’
‘But what about me?’ she asked, hating the plaintive note in her voice. But Felipe’s words had come back to her and now they were lodged at the forefront of her mind. A man knows when a woman is in love with him.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You knew I had feelings for you. It hurt.’
‘Please, don’t be like that, Rebecca. I promise you, she wasn’t important.
It really didn’t mean anything. I was lonely.
It was a once-only thing.’ He shrunk into himself.
‘I hate to say it, but… I just needed… a release. An outlet. I guess.’ His smile was rueful and chagrined.
The encouraging squeeze of his hand, as if willing her to understand, spiked her temper.
‘That makes it worse.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it should have meant something to you, enough to make it worth hurting me.’
A frown clouded his face and she saw that he understood. His mouth opened and shut, but he didn’t manage to say anything because what could he say in his own defence?
Rebecca swallowed. This wasn’t how she’d envisioned this evening going at all.
‘I need some air,’ she said, rising and striding out into the garden and over onto the lawn.
She stopped at the edge of the grassy bank that fell away down into the vegetable garden. Her head was in a whirl and she didn’t seem to be able to make sense of anything. The words she had longed to hear for so many years now fell short. They didn’t quite add up.
Will came to stand by her. ‘I’m sorry, Rebecca. You’re right. I was a bastard that night. I can’t change the past, but I can be better in the future and I can say I’m sorry. And it won’t ever happen again.’ He took her hands and turned her to face him. His expression radiated sincerity and concern.
‘Rebecca…’ His eyes darkened. ‘Please believe me when I say that you brought light into the darkness and sunshine into my heart.’ He paused, his gaze locked on hers with entreating eyes. ‘Without you I am blind and lost. I’m not sure I can live without you.’
Her heart turned over, both at the romantic words and at the sincerity in his eyes and the entreaty in his voice.
What gorgeous words for her. It reminded her why she’d always loved him.
Will was so unlike the men she’d grown up with.
Artistic, creative and genuine– he was a world away from the boorish antics of her brothers.
He was kind and gentle and didn’t tease her constantly or laugh at her or belittle her. This was what she wanted in life.
She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
‘That’s such a gorgeous thing to say.’ Tears welled up in her eyes. No one had ever said anything so lovely to her. Without you I am blind and lost. Then she heard whispered giggles from behind the hedge and pulled away, a little irritated by the interruption of such a sweet moment.
‘Come on,’ she said, taking Will’s arm as he looked towards the shrubs with a perplexed frown. ‘We don’t need an audience.’
Her heart was still humming from his lovely words and the way he’d demonstrated so beautifully that he needed her and that she was important to him.
That was what mattered. Being necessary to someone.
And she believed him when he said he’d made a mistake.
Hadn’t someone once said that being human was about recognising your mistakes?