Chapter 21 #2
‘I’d do it again. The family needed me. We could have lost everything.’
Her heart contracted in sympathy, sad for all that he’d lost. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, reaching out to touch him on the shoulder.
He shrugged with such fatalism that her heart hurt even more. ‘It was a long time ago.’
She sat down opposite him, appalled by how badly she’d misjudged him.
The number of times she had compared Will’s work ethic to his…
She had been completely taken in by the carefully cultivated front of smooth-tongued charmer who didn’t have a care in the world, when in fact he’d sacrificed so much for his family.
‘That day in the laundry. It wasn’t for fun, was it?’
He lifted his shoulders once again. ‘I was lucky I had family to support me. Not everyone has that network. Luisa is a single parent. Her daughter was ill. This way I don’t have to pay someone else to do it and I can still pay her.’
‘You told me you were bored,’ accused Rebecca, cross as much with herself for taking what he said at face value as with him for lying to her.
‘I like working in the laundry. No one can find me and I get a bit of peace and quiet. Thinking time.’ His eyes, despite the tiredness, suddenly twinkled. ‘And no one thinks to look for me there.’
She eyed him, knowing he wasn’t telling the truth.
There was so much more to this man. He looked after other people, his cousins, his mother, his sisters.
No wonder he avoided relationships! He had enough on his plate and yet he never complained.
He had never so much as hinted at the burdens he carried.
She thought of all the times she’d teased him about his ego and his flirting and felt bad about it.
Really bad. However, she knew Felipe well enough to know that he wouldn’t thank her for her sympathy.
He’d hate it. He liked to intimate to the world that he was invincible, carefree, and that everyone close to him could rely upon him.
But who was there to save him? Who rescued him when things got tough?
‘And what is so urgent it has to be done tonight?’
‘Payroll. I have to pay people. And the accountant insisted on imposing a new system, which I haven’t got to grips with– no time to train with the software.
If I’m to pay people tomorrow, the only way I can see of doing it is to do it all manually and set up individual bank transfers.
If I don’t do it tonight, they won’t get paid in time for the end of the month. ’
‘Why don’t I take a look? I managed payroll at the brewery. It was one of my jobs. A lot of these systems are quite similar.’
The quick flash of utter relief on Felipe’s face made her feel like a superhero.
‘Would you?’
She nodded, although what she really wanted to say was that she couldn’t make any promises. She couldn’t help herself– she touched his hand. ‘Two heads are better than one.’
‘Hmm,’ said Felipe, his mouth a little bullish. ‘I’ve never been convinced of that.’
Suddenly, awareness dawned on Rebecca. It was as if all the pieces of a jigsaw suddenly came together and she could see the whole picture properly. ‘Inês.’
‘Yes. Inês. How did you know?’
‘Because if you’re the boss, she doesn’t treat you like it. She’s so antagonistic towards you and me. She’s disliked me from day one.’
‘She doesn’t dislike you; she dislikes that you were imposed on her.
’ He ran an impatient hand through his dark hair.
‘She wants the spa to be more spiritual– but we need to make money from it. She feels you shouldn’t put a price on wellness, that it should be a complimentary part of the stay, but then she wants to use the most expensive products but doesn’t want to sell them.
The spa should be all about the mind, not the body.
Meditation instead of Pilates. Aromatherapy instead of tissue massage.
I have a more commercial mindset and that apparently makes me aphilistine. ’
‘I see,’ said Rebecca. ‘I wish you’d told me. I might have handled her slightly differently.’
Felipe frowned. ‘Sorry. It didn’t occur to me to mention it to you.
’ He rubbed at his temple. ‘To be honest, you were a solution to a problem. We needed another pair of hands in the spa, in the hotel, and I wanted to trial Pilates for a season because I had a feeling it might attract day-use guests. It was something previous guests had asked for, especially when they see the Pilates pagoda in the grounds, which was one of my dad’s innovations.
He envisioned a holistic spa running alongside the hotel and had just started making plans when… when he was killed.’
Despite the headache raging at her temples, Rebecca saw again with another blinding insight how important it had been to Felipe to continue his father’s legacy.
A lot had fallen on his (admittedly very) broad but very young shoulders.
His dedication to the hotel and family contrasted sharply with her own father, who took the family business for granted, milking the profits whenever he could, riding on the company’s success without investing time or effort or even being particularly proud of the family heritage.
No wonder she’d been drawn to Will and his prodigious work ethic and the pride he took in his writing.
Guilt struck her when she realised how dismissive she’d been of Felipe.
‘You’re amazing, do you know that?’ she said suddenly, leaning over and kissing his cheek. ‘Absolutely amazing.’
He touched his face, looking a little dazed. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You carry all this’—she held a hand out to indicate the property around them—‘on your own.’
‘Not on my own. Everyone pitches in and does their share. But yes, I’ve got used to running everything.
When Pai and Tio first died, everyone was so grief-stricken.
Someone had to just get on and make all the decisions.
We had to keep going otherwise we’d have lost everything.
There were five mouths to feed plus the staff, many of whom had been here for most of their lives.
I couldn’t afford to drop a single ball. ’
She raised a sceptical eyebrow. ‘But that was ten years ago. They still all defer to you to make the final decisions.’ She’d heard Maria going on and on about butter dishes, Ana asking about flour suppliers, the girls complaining about their rotas, and seen the staff approaching him a dozen times a day.
She hadn’t realised until now that they were wanting decisions.
Felipe nodded. ‘Yes, no rest for the wicked. Unless I run away to Lisbon.’
‘Hence the bolthole.’
He nodded again. ‘I love them all dearly but… sometimes it’s a lot.
But,’ he said again, fiercer this time, ‘I wouldn’t change it.
They’re my family. They’ll always come first. That’s why I can’t afford to have a relationship.
’ He gave her a steady look. ‘I really like you, Rebecca, and I need to have some fun but I don’t have the capacity for any more.
They have to be my focus. Without me steering the ship, we might sink.
’ He sighed and rose wearily to his feet.
‘Break time is over. I need to get the payroll sorted out.’
She nodded, realising that for the first time she was seeing the real Felipe, a man with a lot to carry on his shoulders.
Now she understood what underpinned his reasons for no-strings fun: he didn’t have the capacity for a relationship.
Seeing him like this, vulnerable, weary and determined, further completed the picture of the man she was falling for.
And the last thing she wanted was to be another burden for him to bear.
Her family had always made out that she was the weak link because she was a girl, not as strong or as fast as her brothers.
She’d fought against them, seeing her as someone who needed carrying.
She wouldn’t be the reason for those dark circles under Felipe’s eyes or for him falling asleep at his desk.
With her previous business experience and skills, she could help him.
Will had certainly been grateful for her help over the last few years, sorting paperwork out after Alicia had died and reading and commenting on his manuscripts. It was always nice to be valued.
Five minutes later, back at his desk, she pushed him out of his seat. ‘Let me. This is the same system I use. You’ve not set it up properly. Get everyone’s payroll numbers out.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.’
She retyped all the numbers in and adjusted the data.
It took her half an hour and when she looked up, Felipe’s eyes were drooping. She smiled to herself, glad that she’d been able to help him.
Stubborn fool not asking for support!
No wonder he looked so tired. When at last she’d fixed the final glitch, she turned to find his head was on the desk once more.
She wondered whether to wake him. Instead, she took a light throw from one of the sofas in the lounge and draped it around his shoulders before dropping a gentle kiss on his head.
He was a good man, a really good man, and she’d been well and truly taken in by the front he’d constructed.
He really was rather wonderful and her heart warmed as she gazed down at him.
But there was a sudden chill as it dawned on her: here she was, again, in danger of wanting a man she couldn’t have. She was falling into the same old pattern as she had done with Will. Why did she keep doing this? What was wrong with her?