Chapter 7 #3
She had done her best to avoid Luke for the rest of the day.
She didn’t want to talk about that kiss and how she’d read too much into it.
She didn’t want to hear him dismiss it and she didn’t want to tell him she thought she might be falling in love with him because that was ridiculous.
Although she knew he had occupied many of her thoughts that afternoon.
And what if he wanted to kiss her again, as part of the charade?
How could she do that and keep her heart locked away?
And what if he never wanted to kiss her again? That might be infinitely worse.
Urgh, why was she feeling like a silly teenager around him?
Luke was in the kitchen cooking when she walked in and he gave her a small tentative smile as she closed the door behind her. God, it was already awkward. Did he think she was going to throw herself at him again?
‘Hey, I made dinner,’ Luke gestured to the oven. ‘Lasagne, hope that’s OK?’
‘It smells delicious, thank you.’
He nodded, pushing his hand through his hair as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.
Was he going to talk about the kiss? She wasn’t ready for that if he was.
She’d much rather be an ostrich and stick her head in the sand and pretend it had never happened than talk about it like a grown-up.
She quickly leapt in before he could bring it up.
‘I’ve arranged a workshop for Thursday, a wood-carving one.
I hope that’s OK? I put a post out asking if anyone affected by a brain injury was interested in doing a workshop and we’ve had one man sign up already.
I thought just working with one person might be a good place to start.
I can arrange a phone call with someone from Headway for you, maybe tomorrow or Wednesday, and make sure we’re ready for them and you can ask any questions you want.
But I wanted to start with you because out of all the artists you were the one most open about teaching the workshops. Is that OK?’
‘Yeah of course. I want to be a part of that, at least while I’m here. I’m happy to help in any way I can.’
‘Thank you.’
There was silence and she knew he was going to bring it up. She cast around for another topic of conversation. Anything but that, but her mind was blank.
‘I, umm… I wanted to talk about the kiss,’ Luke said, not meeting her eye.
‘Oh there’s no need,’ Flick said.
She begged him silently not to continue that topic of conversation but he obviously couldn’t hear her so he ploughed on regardless.
‘I don’t want to fake kiss you anymore.’
Oh god, the humiliation and pain.
‘Oh of course, that’s fine. We probably got the message across with that one kiss. We don’t want to overegg the pudding.’
‘No Flick, I—’
‘Why endure something you didn’t enjoy when we’ve already made the point?’
He stared at her. ‘You… didn’t enjoy it? You, erm… you said it was the hottest kiss of your life.’
‘Yes, well, that was probably a slight overexaggeration.’
‘Right. ’
‘And you clearly didn’t enjoy it if once was more than enough.’
‘Flick, I think you’ve misunderstood. I—’
‘No misunderstanding. You were very emphatic today that the kiss wasn’t real and now you’re saying you never want to do it again.
I think you’ve been perfectly clear. And I don’t want to kiss you again either.
It will just become awkward and weird between us and someone will get hurt.
We’re probably best just being friends anyway.
We work together, we live together, we don’t want to blur the lines.
It’s best we just draw a line under it and pretend it never happened. ’
‘Right… yes of course.’
She suddenly noticed the bouquet of flowers on the countertop behind him and frowned in confusion. Had he bought her flowers?
‘Who are the flowers for?’
He turned to face them, blinking in surprise as if he’d forgotten they were there. ‘Oh, erm… my mum. It’s her birthday tomorrow so I was going to take some flowers to her grave.’
‘That’s sweet.’
He nodded. ‘So, I have to go out and meet a friend so I’ll probably see you tomorrow.’
‘What about dinner?’
‘I’m not hungry, but please help yourself. There’s some garlic bread in the oven too and some salad in the fridge.’ He shrugged on his jacket. ‘I’m probably going to be out for most of the day tomorrow as well.’
‘OK. ’
With that he walked out without saying another word. Flick stared after him in confusion. Had she said the wrong thing?
She wandered over to the oven and peered inside. The lasagne, bubbling away nicely, was big enough to feed four people. There were two garlic baguettes slowly turning a golden shade. He’d definitely intended to eat with her.
She cursed herself. She’d clearly pushed it too far saying the kiss wasn’t enjoyable and hurt his feelings. But then, he’d hurt her too. I don’t want to kiss you anymore. Talk about direct and to the point.
She sighed. She said she didn’t want to make it weird or awkward between them but she’d definitely already done that.