Chapter 28
Poppy didn’t say anything at first, unsure how to react.
Martin wasn’t acting any differently, standing relaxed at the wheel, his expression unreadable, but as they headed further away from Spinalonga, the knot in her chest tightened.
‘Are we not heading back?’ she shouted across the noise of the engine.
He barely glanced at her. ‘I thought you wanted to swim?’ he called back. ‘That was the idea, right?’
It was, but Poppy had expected him to stop at a bay or at least somewhere closer to the island. Not take her out to sea.
She nodded, feeling a little foolish. Had she misinterpreted things?
After what felt like another five minutes, Martin slowed the boat, then stopped the engine. The sudden silence was enormous, and only the soft slap of water against the hull remained.
‘This is perfect. We’ll drift here for a bit,’ he said, as the boat rocked gently.
Poppy nodded, looking around her. There was nothing except sea.
She glanced over the edge of the boat. Out here, the water had changed too, deepening into a darker blue that moved in slow, heavy swells beneath them.
It was just her and Martin, and now they were out here alone, she felt awkward. The thought of getting into the water this far from shore made her uneasy.
As he had busied himself checking the console instruments, she stayed silent. She pulled out her phone to see if Jem had replied to her message. He hadn’t, but she saw there was no signal. Of course.
It was warmer now they had stopped, perhaps more so than inland, and after a few moments, she decided to remove her hoodie. As she pulled it over her head, her T-shirt got trapped in the material. Quickly she freed it, pulling it back down to cover her midriff.
She glanced in Martin’s direction, reddening when she saw him quickly look away.
He moved to the rear of the boat and tugged at something mounted beside the engine. A moment later, something unfolded into the water with a splash.
Eventually, he looked her way again. ‘So, are you going to swim?’
The question threw her off guard. ‘I think I’m just going to sit here for a bit.’
He gestured towards the water. ‘Come on. It’s the best part of being out here. It’s warmer than you realise.’
Even though she had worn her swimwear under her clothes, now the idea of being in her bikini in front of him was putting her off.
‘I’ll think about it.’
Martin crossed the deck, leaning casually against the console. ‘Bit of a waste of time coming all this way if you don’t go in.’
‘It’s nice just being out here in the fresh air,’ Poppy lied.
She fished her Kindle out of her beach bag, hoping he would take it as a hint to leave her alone, but although he didn’t speak again, she was aware of him watching her as she read. It was distracting and she found it difficult to focus.
After a few minutes, he asked, ‘Didn’t you bring anything to swim in?’
‘I did,’ she replied, not looking up from her book.
‘Then what’s the problem?’
Heat crept up her neck. Why was he pushing the issue?
‘I just don’t feel like it right now.’
Martin looked out across the water. ‘We won’t be out here all afternoon. It seems like a waste.’
Poppy shifted uncomfortably on the vinyl seat but didn’t respond.
When she glanced up from her Kindle, he was looking right at her.
‘You’re worried about getting cold.’
It wasn’t a question.
‘No, I’m not.’ She glanced over the side of the boat, trying to gauge how far down the seabed was, then immediately wished she hadn’t. ‘It looks deep.’
‘It is. That’s the point. You can swim, can’t you?’
Poppy bristled. ‘Of course I can. I wouldn’t have come all the way out here if I couldn’t.’
‘Then you’ll be fine.’
He was getting on her nerves now and she just wanted to be away from him. Unfortunately, the boat was small and other than the sea, there was nowhere for her to go.
Just get in the water.
This had been the whole point of the boat trip, hadn’t it?
To have a different experience. To shake herself out of the constant spiral of overthinking.
And this was exactly the kind of moment she needed to push through.
Because if she didn’t – if she let every small, irrational doubt take hold – then it would be another defeat, and she would really start to believe there was something wrong with her.
She stood slowly, reminding herself it was just water. Her heart was beating faster than it should and her legs were trembling, but she egged herself on.
You can do this.
As she pulled her towel out of the beach bag, Martin glanced over.
‘At last.’ He smirked. ‘I thought we were going to have a wasted trip.’
Poppy glared at him, but said nothing, turning her back to him as she removed her T-shirt and leggings.
In her bikini, she felt too exposed, the light breeze brushing against her bare skin, but she was relieved upon turning back that he had already averted his eyes and was rummaging in a storage box under one of the seats.
As she crossed the deck, he pulled out a coil of rope and a life jacket.
‘Safety first,’ he told her. ‘Best to have them out just in case.’
‘Good idea,’ she told him with a tight smile, passing him as he moved to the edge of the boat.
It looked darker now.
And so deep.
‘Ladder is down at the back if you don’t want to jump. You’ll be fine.’
Poppy wasn’t sure why his reassurance made things worse.
She didn’t have a problem jumping, but it was good to know about the ladder for getting back onto the boat. She climbed onto the edge.
The sea stretched endlessly around her. Inhaling deeply, she pushed herself off the edge.
The cold shock of the water stole the breath from her lungs, and she surfaced with a gasp, brushing wet hair from her face.
‘See,’ Martin called down. ‘That wasn’t so bad.’
It was clearer than she expected, but as she began to tread water, she became aware of just how high the boat was. Suddenly, the distance between her and the deck felt enormous.
She turned slowly, looking for Martin.
He was watching her from above.
‘You all right down there?’
She nodded, managing a smile, though she wasn’t as confident as she was trying to act.
Determined to try to enjoy herself, she made the effort to swim a few strokes away from the boat. When she turned back, she was relieved to see it was still in position and Martin was standing exactly where she had left him.
He had folded his arms across his chest now, his expression unreadable from this distance.
‘Bit different to the pool, isn’t it?’ he shouted.
He wasn’t wrong there.
‘Just a bit,’ she called back.
The water was less cold now the initial shock had passed and her body had adjusted quickly to the temperature.
Forcing herself to relax, she kicked out a little further, slicing through the water with steady strokes.
The sea was saltier than she was used to, the taste sharp on her lips, but after a few moments, she found her stride.
She stopped and floated on her back, blinking up at the sky. The November sun warmed her face, the water lifting and lowering her in a way that was strangely soothing now she had stopped fighting it. For the first time in days, some of the tension in her chest loosened.
Maybe Martin had been right after all. Not the way he had gone on at her, but about the swimming being good for her.
She glanced back at the boat. He was no longer watching her, but she could see the back of his head as he crouched down, fiddling with something near the stern.
Turning away again, she swam a little further, confident that the boat remained close enough to feel safe. Each time she glanced back, she could see it; the white hull bobbing on the dark surface. A fixed point that was solid and reassuring.
Her breathing evened out.
This was okay, she realised. Actually, it was more than okay.
It was actually exhilarating swimming in the sea so far from land.
The clean sting of salt against skin, the rise and fall motion of the water, and just the quiet vastness of endless blue in every direction.
It sounded silly, but it was a reminder of just how small she was compared to the rest of the world, and it helped to put things in perspective.
She kicked out another few metres, then rolled onto her front and began an easy breaststroke. Not going too far. Just enough to help fuel her growing confidence.
Finally, she paused, drawing in a deep breath, then turned back towards the boat.
Her heart almost stopped dead.
It had moved.
Only a little. Perhaps a few metres. But the distance was enough that a sharp pulse of alarm skittered through her.
Poppy blinked hard, treading water.
Was she mistaken? Had she swum further away than she’d thought?
The swell lifted her, then lowered her again, and this time the distance seemed greater.
‘Martin?’
At first, she couldn’t see him.
‘Martin!’ she called again. Louder this time.
Then he appeared, standing on the edge of the deck, peering out at her. He looked much smaller from this distance.
‘You all right?’ he yelled back.
‘The boat’s drifting.’
‘It’s just a bit of movement. That’s normal.’
Normal? The word did nothing to calm her.
‘Can you bring it closer?’
He didn’t answer her straight away. Instead, he stared at her across the water, one hand resting on the railing as the boat bobbed up and down.
‘No need. You’re doing fine.’
Her pulse kicked sharply.
‘Please can you bring the boat closer?’ she tried again. ‘I’m serious.’
‘So am I.’ He shook his head, as if she was part amusing, part irritating him. ‘You’ve gone what? A few strokes from the boat. Just swim back.’
Poppy turned in the water, orientating herself, but a small swell slapped unexpectedly against the side of her face and she swallowed a mouthful of salt. Coughing, she kicked harder, suddenly aware of how empty the sea was around her.
When she looked back towards the boat, it seemed to have edged further away once more, and Martin had vanished again.
Fear rippled across her skin.
‘Martin!’
This time, she didn’t attempt to hide how scared she was.