CHAPTER THIRTY NINE
Davien
I WAS WALKING into certain death, I was sure of it, and yet there was a strange, hollow calm that had settled over me, as though my mind had already accepted the inevitable and was simply waiting for my body to catch up.
At best, I might be able to cause enough distraction to allow Ailsa to escape with her life.
The odds were stacked against us, but I had to try.
I owed it to Ailsa to at least try. So that was the plan.
That’s if I ever even got to set eyes on her again.
I figured they’d use me as a pawn, a bargaining chip to use against Ailsa, possibly even Cathal if they were feeling particularly strategic. It had to be the only reason I was still breathing.
The faces of men and women who had once looked up to me now looked at me with disdain and disgust. I guess they had broadcast my betrayal then.
My cover was without a doubt blown. The only question that remained now was how long they’d keep me alive for.
Even Cathal’s position in the court wouldn’t protect me now.
I had failed, and I’d face death for it.
I was fine with that.
I just hoped that somehow, against all the odds, that Ailsa would rise above them all.
I had been ushered into a small lounge on the eleventh floor after they’d washed and dressed me.
Every fibre in my being had wanted to fight them, quite literally bite the hands that touched me, but if there was even the smallest sliver of hope that I’d get to see her again, I put up with it.
I hadn’t felt anything from her in over two days and I was worried sick.
They wouldn’t have killed her, would they? I wouldn’t put anything past Valerius. But I feared he had much bigger plans for her.
The room itself was deceptively elegant—soft cream walls adorned with gilded frames, a low glass table set before an overly plush settee that swallowed me whole when I sat, and floor-to-ceiling windows that revealed nothing but the glittering expanse of the city below.
Designed to lull its guests into a false sense of security, to make them forget they were in danger.
It didn’t work on me.
My knee bounced up and down where I sat on the too soft settee, waiting. Waiting for what felt like a lifetime. What was my purpose here? Would they actually allow me to see her? Would they use me against her? Use me to make her suffer?
I ground my teeth as I thought over every possible way this day could play out. Each scenario more brutal than the last, calculating outcomes, of every possible way I could try to get her out.
Did I have any allies left?
I had a feeling the answer was a resounding no.
Then, my head shot up at the sound of the door unlocking. I shot to my feet, readying myself for whatever came. But I could never have prepared myself for who stepped through the threshold.
It was her.
Ailsa.
For a moment, the world narrowed to a single point, all sound fading into nothing as my gaze locked onto her.
And just like that, I forgot how to breathe.
“How do I look?” she asked, stepping forward, her voice steady in a way that both impressed and unsettled me. “Do you think I’ll fit in?”
The dress—God, the dress—the colour of blood, hugged every one of her perfect curves in a way that made it impossible not to look.
Her hair fell in carefully crafted waves, softer than I’d ever seen it, and her lips—painted in a dark red to match the dress—drew my attention in a way that was both dangerous and completely primal.
Something dark and possessive flared deep in my chest.
She’d be at the mercy of everyone’s attention tonight and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle that.
She showed no physical markers of discomfort, or evidence of the past seventy two hours.
If I hadn’t felt her gut wrenching pain myself, I would have been none the wiser.
The fact that she carried her suffering and pain so well concerned me, and for the first time I realised that perhaps even in her human life, she had experienced things no person deserved.
I shook the thought from my head, trying to focus on the now.
I coughed into my hand, clearing my throat before I spoke, trying to bury my desire for her and make light of the farce we were about to be forced to face.
“Yeah,” I managed, my voice rougher than I would have liked. “You’ll fit right in.”
When my eyes finally returned to her, I found her gaze locked on me as she seemingly took in every detail about me. I’d never wished to be anybody else before, but right now, at this moment, all I wanted was to be someone unimportant, someone normal, someone who could just be with her.
Something had changed between us. But something had also broken, and I wasn’t sure I could ever fix it.
For what seemed like a lifetime, we just stared at each other. A whole catalogue of possibilities slipping away from us. If only we weren’t who we were.
Instead, I was reminded that I was a monster who was about to put her in danger. I opened my mouth to speak, to apologise, to beg for her forgiveness. But my throat dried at any attempt of words. What could I possibly say to right what had happened, what was still bound to happen?
I fought not to run to her and touch her. I needed confirmation that she was really here, that she was okay. At least physically.
As though reading my mind, she closed the space between us, the unfamiliar sound of heels clicking at each of her steps.
Her fingers danced in the space between us, reaching for my hand but never quite making contact.
“I shouldn’t care, but for some reason I do,” she said, her beautiful blue eyes lifting to look at me, a look that went straight through me as though she was staring into my soul. “Are you okay?”
She was asking me if I was okay?
Even after everything, she wanted to know if I was okay.
“I am now,” I answered her honestly, taking her hand into mine. Unable to resist the urge any longer. The warmth of her palm calmed my nervous system in a way nothing else ever had before. I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but I was afraid of the answer.
“They told me that for every question I refused to answer, they’d hurt you,” she said.
I swallowed hard at the thought of them hurting her and understanding dawned on me, she answered every question to spare me pain. All the while taking punches for the questions I refused to answer.
I felt sick at the thought.
“You don’t have to explain,” she said softly, as though reading my thoughts.
“I understand, and if I’d been in your position I would have done the same.
They didn’t ask me anything they didn’t already know, so I thought it would be best to just appear as honest as possible.
It’s not like I have any of the answers anyway. ”
I shook my head. “Don’t. Don’t make excuses for me. Just please promise me something.”
“What?”
“Don’t ever stop fighting. But be smart about it, don’t show them your hand too early.” I wanted to say so much more, but I feared the room was being surveyed. Every word we spoke would be dissected and analysed.
She nodded, her understanding clear. “As long as you don’t keep looking at me like that.”
Before I could think of anything to say to that, my spine straightened at the sound of heavy steps beyond the door and she let go of my hand, taking a step backward. I stepped in front of Ailsa on instinct. I knew it was futile, but they’d have to go through me to get to her.