Chapter 26 #2
Clamoring voices carried to him from somewhere near the village center; the others must’ve arrived, and a crowd had undoubtedly gathered around them. But the only sounds that held his attention were from inside the shower.
He first heard the faintest rustling of fabric, followed by the heavy splat of the wet blanket falling onto the floor.
Lacey’s footfalls were barely audible on the floor planks.
Then came the rush of water, splashing and spraying, and the gasp of a human who had not been entirely prepared for the shock of cold.
Larkhets called excitedly in the higher branches, many of them leaping off to soar over the platforms in displays of brilliant color.
The water stopped, and Telok heard the soft slaps of Lacey’s feet on the wet floor as she shifted in place, heard the crunch and fizz of broken cleanleaf, heard her scrubbing herself and muttering under her breath about how much of this shit was coming out of her.
When she opened the waterflow again, it ran for a long while.
In his mind’s eye, he pictured her standing beneath the spout with her head down, her red hair dark and plastered about her face, neck, and shoulders as the water washed over her and carried away the blood and dirt that had marred the day.
As it carried away his seed.
A pang pierced both his hearts at once. The scent he and Lacey had made together, the scent of their mating, would surely be gone now…and he mourned its loss. For the time being, it would exist only in his memory, teasing him, taunting him, tempting him.
The water stopped again, and Lacey released a heavy exhalation.
He heard her hair flip back and slap her skin, heard her wet feet on the floor as she walked to the shelves, heard her unfolding a cloth and rubbing it over her body to dry herself.
Then she walked toward the door, where she opened her bag and rummaged through its contents.
Though she was so close that he swore he could almost feel the heat of her body on the other side of the wall, Telok held himself in place, respecting her request.
How had they come so far as to finally join in a mating bond, to finally give in to their desires and instincts, only for him to find himself once again standing within reach of Lacey yet unable to touch her?
He stared at the wall, feeling the strain in the tether connecting their hearts.
More sounds of movement came from within—the whisper of fabric on skin as she dressed, the clack of spear shafts against the floor, the tiny creaking of rawhide strips being tied.
Then Lacey stepped out to stand in front of Telok.
She’d dressed in a sleeveless vest and shorts that stopped midthigh, the fabric of the former dampened by the loose hair hanging about her shoulders.
Her skin was a touch paler than usual, and little shivers stole through her body, making her full lips quiver ever so slightly.
Her pack was slung over one shoulder with her spear in the holder on the side.
She held up his spear and bag.
Telok accepted them before plucking Lacey’s pack off her shoulder. Her mouth opened as though to protest, but he silenced her by scooping her into his arms again and drawing her tight against his chest. Her skin was cool.
“Telok, I can walk,” she said, wriggling.
He slapped a hand against her ass. “Be still, kir’ani vi’jatai.”
Lacey stiffened, gaping at him. “Seriously?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do not fight me.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, nose wrinkling.
Warmth spread through his chest as he gazed down at her.
His mate was adorable when she was powtee.
Holding her close, Telok carried Lacey to their den.
He didn’t miss how she seemed to curl in on herself again once they were moving, like she could somehow make herself small enough to go unseen.
They thankfully encountered only a few winddancers during the brief journey, none of whom had been on the hunt.
Yet each time they passed someone, Lacey turned her face more toward Telok’s chest, pink flaring on her cheeks.
When they reached the den, Telok set her down. She immediately slipped inside, leaving him to stare at the swaying curtain. His mandibles drooped. Sweeping the silk aside, he ducked and squeezed through the entryway, drawing himself to his full height on the other side.
Lacey was already sitting on the bed.
As he set down their belongings, he watched her pick up a blanket, wrap it around herself, and lie down, curling into a ball.
Mandibles ticking in uncertainty, he approached her, his steps loud in the silence of the den. “Lacey?”
“I’m fine. Just…cold.”
Telok sank down beside the bed, tilting his head as he regarded her. She lay with her back toward him, and from his angle, he could see only the tip of her nose—everything else was covered.
“Now who is lying?” he asked gently.
“I am cold.” Her obscured form swelled as she drew in a deep breath. “I’m…not in a good headspace right now, Telok.”
He braced his hands on his leg joints, if only to keep from touching her. “I do not understand.”
“It means my thoughts and emotions are tangled and heavy. They’re…a lot.”
“The winddancers will gather soon. Their music, dance, and food will lift your spirit and ease that burden. You always shine bright when you are amongst friends.”
“Ugh, no,” she groaned. “No. I… I can’t see anyone right now. Not after… God, I’m so fucking mortified.”
She pulled the blanket up over her face and burrowed deeper into the bedding.
His mandibles fell. “How can I help? How can I fix this?”
“Right now…you can’t,” she said, her muffled voice barely audible. “I’m sorry. I just need some time alone, Telok.”
Growling, he squeezed his leg joints, barely noticing the bite of his claws into his hide. “I will not leave. We will be alone together.”
“Please.”
That single word, spoken softly, brokenly, and with such thick emotion, nearly crushed him. But in doing so, it made him finally understand.
As much as her request hurt, it wasn’t about pushing him away. It wasn’t about anything he had or hadn’t done. It was about Lacey and what she needed—and what she needed now was time to detangle the emotions plaguing her so she could find herself again.
And if he remained here too…someone would come looking. Someone would come out of concern to ensure they were okay, and that intrusion would only drive Lacey deeper into her thoughts, would only make her pull back even further.
If anyone in the world could relate, was it not Telok himself? How many times had he sought solitude from those he cared about most? How often had he needed it?
“I will join the others.” He pushed himself up. “If you need anything, my nyleea, anything, call. I will come.”
The blanket shifted slightly around her head as she nodded. “I know. Thank you.”
Dark clouds had gathered around Lacey, shrouding her radiance.
Had Telok possessed Rekosh’s skill with words, he might have found the right ones to sweep away those clouds on a gust of wind.
Had he Urkot’s humor, he might’ve pierced that darkness with jests, allowing her light to shine through and burn away the gloom.
And if he’d had Ketahn’s fearlessness, he would have claimed Lacey long ago and avoided all this.
But all he could do for his mate now was walk away and grant her the solitude she needed.
Turning away from her, he strode to the doorway. The threads binding their spirits drew taut, making each step more of a struggle than the last.
They’d mated. His place was at Lacey’s side. He wasn’t meant to leave her alone, not after what had happened, not with her in this state.
Telok grasped the doorframe, dipped his head, and pulled himself through, having to tear several of his claws free of the wood in which he’d unintentionally buried them with his crushing grip. He felt Lacey’s presence behind him, beckoning him to return.
Do not look back. Must not.
Just go.
With fists and jaw clenched, he strode forward. His wounds throbbed dully and distantly with each thump of his legs atop the platform, and his hide heated and tingled at the remembered feel of her hands upon it as she’d cleaned him.
Telok and Lacey had shared each other’s bodies and souls, had joined in the deepest intimacy and shaped bliss beyond description.
But had it been tainted for her by what had occurred in the aftermath?
When she recalled mating Telok, would it be the passion and pleasure that came to her mind, or the terror and embarrassment that had followed?
As he crossed the bridge to the neighboring platform, he barely felt it swaying beneath him.
He was far more aware of the expanding distance between himself and his mate, of the strand around his hearts gradually constricting.
Instinct commanded him to go back to Lacey.
His traitorous body rippled with tension, seemingly eager to deny his will in favor of those primal urges, making each of his legs feel as heavy as a boulder.
Somehow, he continued to the next platform.
Because this is what she needs of me.
Indistinct voices drifted to him from the heart of Tovuunshai, accompanied by bits of music that rose and fell hauntingly, not holding any particular melody or rhythm for long.
The winddancers seemed to come together often, and they considered their whole village one family.
Their Nedrayas. The thornskulls were similar in their frequent gatherings for games and celebrations.
And long ago, back in Takarahl, Moonfall Tunnel had felt the same for Telok.
A larger family who had accepted him as one of their own, who’d helped him when he’d had nothing…
“Ah, good. This spares me a few strides.”
Despite its gentleness, that voice jarred Telok from his thoughts. He swung his gaze up to find Wen’Xal Tas standing in front of the next rope bridge ahead, his furry mandibles raised in a smile.
Telok narrowed his eyes. “I do not understand.”
Chittering, Tas moved closer. “I was coming to see if you and Lacey were well. You have shortened my journey.”