For the Best
At the house Phillip rented, I spent over forty-five minutes showering to get the goblin off me.
Covered as I was, I didn’t think about how weird it was for me to readily agree to shower at an older man’s house without a second’s pause.
And when I came out dressed in the clothes Phillip forbad me from wearing out to the club, hair a wet mess, finally feeling clean, it suddenly hit me.
I was just naked a room away from my sexy faux Biology teacher.
Holy shit.
My phone was out on the living room coffee table, cleaned off thanks to the other vampire hunter.
Phillip’s greeting smile stole my gaze for a moment before my eyes promptly returned to my cell phone, where Nigel’s texts were left unanswered.
Licking my lips, I walked several steps over to it and collected my phone as nonchalantly as I could.
“Nigel?”
Stricken, I froze. “How—”
“He sent another text asking if you were okay. I was cleaning it off. Couldn’t help but notice the other two.”
“That’s an invasion of privacy,” I grumbled, then smiled brightly. “See! I told you he’d reach out.”
An emotion I couldn’t recognize ignited Phillip’s light eyes. “Are you going to respond?”
“You suggesting I shouldn’t?”
He smoothed back his hair with a large hand and rubbed his neck with the other hand. His eyes flicked from me to the phone. “It’s your life. I just don’t like the idea of seeing you hurt.”
“That’s rich coming from you,” I sassed before realizing how immature I sounded. “Sorry. Look, I need to find out why he ghosted me the way he did. Nigel doesn’t do things like that for no reason, and I’m confident he had a good reason.”
Openly shocked, the Austrian’s eyes closed and his jaw tensed. “I overstepped earlier. I’m sorry. What I said to you was cruel and inconsiderate. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”
Genuinely flabbergasted by his apology, I stared at him with my mouth open. “Did you just actually say sorry with feeling, Phil? I’m impressed. I didn’t think you knew the meaning of the word.”
His mouth tilted in self-derision. “It’s not often I feel inclined to apologize to anyone, no.” Then the other Hunter’s striking blue eyes rose to meet mine. “With you, I feel like anything less and I’ll regret never saying anything at all.”
His voice was a deep husk and entreating. “I meant what I said earlier. You intrigue me. You never fail to impress me with the things you say and do.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little flattered. The Austrian struck me as the type of person who kept his guard up at all times, and the flirtatious mask he wore was how he avoided attachment.
It made sense.
I’d used something similar—my humor. It protected my heart from breaking for the longest time. And before Nigel and Kate, I was the same as the other vampire hunter; afraid to be attached to anyone when my life meant they’d be in danger.
Maybe Phillip and I had more in common than I realized.
“If you mean what you say, I’m willing to forgive you. I only ask one thing.”
Phillip’s eyes sparkled in the lamp light. “Should I be afraid?”
“Only if you’re a jaded Austrian posing as a teacher.”
“Lucky we don’t have any of those here,” he countered with a husky chuckle, and something coiled in my belly with the sound. “Your wish is my command, my Queen.”
“Oh, you could definitely call me that anytime you want,” I said, laughing.
“Just…I know you have reasons for the way you feel because of the things you’ve seen, but I have the fresh eyes of someone young.
Maybe on occasion try to see what I see and we’ll be golden.
We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, and we’ll need to be on the same wavelength. ”
I took a few steps and sat down next to him, surprising the vampire hunter enough to get a reaction from his body. “I’ll do the same. I decided after what Grams said earlier to trust you. She seems to genuinely believe in you, and I know that sort of thing isn’t easy for her. She’s a bit jaded.”
Phillip’s laughter was rich and thick, and it made me smile against my will. “I won’t tell her you said so. She’s vicious when she’s pissed off, even at this age.” His smile grew boyish. “Or should I say, especially at this age, the wily old fox.”
“That’s what I call her!” I nearly shouted, but managed to soften my voice halfway through. “I mean, she’s nothing but sass like, all the time.”
“All the time,” he agreed with a gentle grin. “It’s what I love about her.”
“Love?” I teased.
His lips thinned, and I instantly quieted.
“Not like that. But I will say she’s a woman who never holds back.
She says what she wants. She does what she wants.
I admire her greatly.” His light-eyed gaze tracked back over to me with his tattooed hands woven together on open knees.
“You remind me a lot of her when she was a young Hunter.”
Some may find it a weird compliment to give to someone, but I was beyond honored by the correlation between my grandmother and I. She was someone I aspired to be when I was older, and the thought of being anything like her made me genuinely excited.
When I had more time to pick his brain, I planned to ask Phillip about when Grams was younger. Tonight, though, I had another thing weighing on my mind.
I held the phone in my hand, staring at the screen. “I’m going to call him, so I’ll just step out for a bit. Then we can head back. Hey, maybe I can drive that beast you call a car.”
Despite my light-humored comment meant to tease the other vampire hunter, Phillip’s expression was dark. He didn’t smile or react like he normally did. Instead, he shifted on the couch and set his jaw enough that the muscle strained along his cheeks.
“He’s a Shifter. Worse, a werewolf. They move in packs.
I found it interesting that he was alone.
From what Rose tells me, he does have one.
A pack, that is. Shifters have rules, same as we do.
Rules against Hunters. Rules that keep them from being around us in a way that could be misconstrued.
And the laws of that world are just as harsh as the laws of ours. ”
My shoulders tensed, and I looked up from the screen. “Would it put him in danger?”
Phillip’s look was grim. “I can guarantee it. But when he started to protect you, he’d already made his choice.”
Cradling the phone tighter, I stared at the Austrian. “What do you mean?”
“He broke rules staying here with you the way he did. Rose knew it, which is why she made him promise not to do more. Consequences are severe for more than that. Protection in exchange for saving his life could be forgiven, but not anything more. Attachment beyond that could put a target on his back by his own kind, especially if they knew he’d attached himself to a Hunter.
And with how important you are to the Organization, he’d be hunted by both sides. ”
Phillip visibly sympathized, and it made me immediately uncomfortable. “That’s the entire reason I wanted to perpetuate the rumor about us at school. It’s better for you if we do—for Nigel.”
Another text came in.
“Please respond to me. I need to know you’re okay.”
Jaw clenched, I quickly texted back that I was fine. Then I stared at Phillip, heart in my throat. “He’ll be hunted?”
“With certainty, yes.” The Austrian’s hand touched mine, stroking white knuckles. “It’ll make what we want to do harder. But it’s your choice. I won’t tell you what to do.”
His chest strained under fabric, depicting a struggle to say more. But what, I couldn’t be certain. The dude was a seriously old, well-trained Hunter. I’d be lucky to figure out anything he didn’t want me to.
“If I remember correctly, you did say you’d have it all. Just watch you.” His devilish smirk got a laugh out of me.
“I did say that.”
“Do you love him?” he asked, catching me off guard.
I struggled to answer. “Love him?”
“Yeah. Do you love him?”
Love was a strong word. I had intense feelings for Nigel. I’d been his faithful crush for years, but I never really knew him well enough to put a word as strong as love to it. I did feel deeply enough that I wanted to be with him, that much I knew.
“It’s too soon to use words like that,” I finally admitted. “I do feel strongly enough about Nigel to fight to be with him.”
“But not strong enough that it’d be hard to walk away right now?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn’t say anything.
Words failed me.
I wanted desperately to argue I couldn’t walk away, but I nearly had. When he cut me off, with time, I would’ve moved on. I may have begrudged the way it ended, but I couldn’t argue I wouldn’t be able to move on from our relationship.
Phillip rose from his seat and stared into my eyes, towering over me in a way that I was forced to crane my neck to meet his gaze.
“You’re right about one thing. I’ve been through more than you could ever know.
I’ve seen things, lost people who I vowed to protect, been the entire reason someone died, and the guilt never goes away.
It stays with you. You have to decide for yourself how much you want to live with, if one day you’re the reason they’re dead.
It’s the reality of who we are and what we’re able to do.
Rarely does anyone survive the way you and I can.
It’s just a good idea to consider that when you make your decision on whether or not you want to be with him. ”
Collecting his duffle bag, the older Hunter strolled to the bathroom. “I’ll take a shower and give you a minute to talk to Nigel.”
Frozen, I could only watch numbly as he disappeared into the bathroom. When the sound of water hitting the vampire hunter’s body reached my ears, I finally jerked out of my daze. His words echoed in my head as I lifted the phone and put it to my ear, heart a fast pound and stomach in nervous knots.
“It stays with you…if one day you’re the reason they’re dead.”
“V?”
I gasped, and my spine straightened in shock. “Nigel, why are you only texting me now? Where the fuck did you go?”
“I needed to talk to my pack. It took a bit of convincing, but they’re on board now,” Nigel said quickly.
“On board with what?”
“What’s this I hear about you and the Biology teacher? Why are rumors going around that the two of you are an item?”
I gritted my teeth, trying to keep my temper from affecting my voice. “It’s obviously not true. But you didn’t answer my question. What did your pack have to get on board with?”
Nigel sighed. He sounded exhausted, and I could hear it in the way he spoke. “If we move as a pack, it’s easier to protect you. People are after you. I’m not sure for what reason, but you’ve been made a target. I promised Grams to protect you. Phillip may be there, but he’s not enough. No one is.”
Since I wasn’t sure how much Nigel knew or didn’t know, I couldn’t tell him about how I was a perfect genetic mutation of vampire blood and human blood.
Or how Phillip was the same. I couldn’t even tell him about my vendetta, or how Phillip and I were going to build an army to take down the Organization.
It was too risky to bring anyone into the fold that wasn’t already a part of it.
I couldn’t say anything, and it killed me to keep things from him.
“It’s the reality of who we are and what we’re able to do.”
Maybe that was what Phillip meant. We were a kept secret, and our abilities couldn’t be shared with others the same way other Hunters’ abilities could.
I’d be forever keeping things from Nigel if I wanted to stay in a relationship with him, and he’d never know why he had a target on his back with the Organization.
He’d be targeted straight away and considered my weakness.
Could I be the reason he was hurt or worse?
“Don’t come back.” My voice was painfully tight, and I fought to keep it from giving me away. “It’s over between us.”
“What? V, I’m sorry I left and didn’t respond.
There were reasons. I know you’re angry, but I promise to explain everything when I get there.
I’ll make it up to you. You know I’d never leave without saying anything for no reason.
I realize I really fucked up by not talking to you first, but I couldn’t waste time coming here.
I’m their alpha.” Nigel’s rushed voice was desperate, sorry, utterly heartbroken, and he’d never know how difficult it was for me to say what I said next.
“I don’t want to be with you anymore, Nigel. I’m not angry. I just realized over the last two weeks that it’s better for us not to be together.” I swallowed around a hard lump in my throat, tears escaping my eyes and burning hot paths down my cheeks. “I won’t be staying here long. Don’t come back.”
“V!”
I couldn’t say anything more without breaking down, so I ended the call and shattered the phone in my hand. It sat in my palm, completely destroyed, so I tossed the remnants into the trash.
As I swiftly fled the kitchen where I’d thrown away the phone, I nearly ran into Phillip as he exited the bathroom. It was clear he’d heard everything because he looked like he wanted to say something but knew damn well that he shouldn’t.
“Hungry?”
My eyes hurt from crying, but I nodded. “I could really go for a burger and shake right now.”
“Dinner and a movie it is, then. I’ll let Rose know you’re staying over.”
I eyed the man, unconvinced. “I never said I’d stay the night.”
“I thought you wanted to know what we fought earlier and to hear stories about Rose when she was younger?”
The second part I never said out loud. I absently wondered if he was a mind reader or if I was just that damn easy to read.
After this, I’d need to work on hiding my emotions better. It’d get someone killed if everything showed on my face in a fight.
“I’ll stay, but only if you let me choose what movie we watch later,” I demanded.
His happy grin brightened his annoyingly gorgeous features. “As long as it’s not Twilight, deal.”
“It’s definitely going to be Twilight.”
Phillip’s expression downturned in an instant, and I couldn’t stop laughing at how adorable he looked when he pouted. But I was seriously grateful for the distraction from the heart I’d just broken.
I curled up on the couch while Phillip made a phone call with the phone that hadn’t been broken.
This is for the best.