No Control
Phillip
Very few things surprised me anymore. I’d seen it all, been through three lifetimes of nothing but shit, and things rarely caught me off guard.
But when V asked for the serum and then offered herself to me, surprise didn’t cover the feeling. I couldn’t identify where it had changed for her, or where she’d gotten the urge. That was new for me—not being sure what had changed. Usually, I noticed something the second it happened.
With V, nothing made sense.
For the first time, I hesitated. It felt important not to persuade or encourage the idea if she was just curious. It took everything inside of me to talk her out of it.
Sort of difficult to talk someone down from something you were more than a little desperate to have yourself. It was necessary, though. I didn’t want her to regret it, call it a huge mistake, and let the entire thing ruin what we had between us.
More than anything, I didn’t want to lose her.
If I had to be a bit vulgar, or frighteningly forward, or perhaps too brazen to be ever considered appropriate, then that was what I’d be.
Still, I was greedy. It’d be easy to enchant her the way I did other women and enslave her through physical pleasure.
Every other time, I wouldn’t have wavered.
I’d have her the way I wanted her. I’d take her without remorse.
But something about V made me hesitate. Made me ponder every single move I made.
Instead of enchanting her, I’d been the one bewitched by anything she said or did. I wanted her more than I should. I thought about her more than I should. I was desperate to make her mine, even going as far as to get jealous over some bloody wolf.
And then I kissed her. I shouldn’t have, but I did.
Her lips tasted sweet and innocent, and they moved with mine like her life depended on it.
Kissing V didn’t compare to kisses stolen to satisfy an urge.
Her kiss resonated inside me long after I pulled away.
She’d flushed and struggled to deal with both the sensation and the guilt of kissing me, knowing it was Nigel who might see it.
She was confused. I took advantage of that confusion, and it was only for that reason I regretted it.
So, when she mentioned the serum, it felt wrong to give in.
Leave it to V to rush brazenly ahead, undeterred. She didn’t let my tricks sway her. She set my loins ablaze with her strong gaze and bold words. She called me out whenever I gave into hesitation or caution.
When she took hold of my arm and encouraged me to continue, I, the suave older man, the one with enough experience to classify me as an expert, was subjugated. Somehow, V understood just how to make me bend to her will. She knew just what to do and what to say to bring the beast out.
Everything she said and did dragged out a primitive, carnal side I wasn’t aware I was capable of.
Yes, I could be a rough and overly dominant lover. It wasn’t out of the norm for me to overpower a woman in the bedroom, but I never lost control.
Never.
Unfortunately, with V, I discovered new parts of myself every day. Most of which I didn’t like. Most that proved no matter how old or powerful I was, I was still a man. I gave in. I surrendered. I did whatever I could to keep her.
It wasn’t like me to lose control. Not like that, anyway.
But I did. I did so easily that even I wasn’t sure where I’d totally lost it.
When had I fallen so completely under her spell that I couldn’t fathom disappointing her?
Hurting her? Betraying her? Being any miniscule amount of distance away from her?
No other person but Giselle, my first and last love, made me feel remotely close to the jumbled, fucked-up mess I was around V these days. And after Giselle’s death, I vowed never to lose myself to another person.
Still, it wasn’t something I could control anymore.
It’d been a long time since I regretted anything before doing it. I lacked the proper conscience to preemptively drown in shame, but I did with V. Even as I surrendered to the toxic heat of her kiss, as I claimed her body and tasted sweet poisonous bliss, guilt plagued my thoughts.
Very few things made me afraid, but the young Hunter scared me unlike anything ever had. And yet, I didn’t run. I should. It would be smarter to stop while I was ahead, but the mere idea of leaving burned my chest and destroyed my lungs.
I wouldn’t get away now.
“Phil?”
I glanced over, noticing concern etched into the lines of V’s forehead. “Seems like the serum wore off.”
She blushed cherry-red, and the color was beyond beautiful on her white skin. “Seems so. I don’t feel drunk and…”
“Nothing hurts?”
Biting her lower lip and forcing my eyes to her mouth because of it, she nodded. “Maybe I should go back to my room.”
She didn’t say so because she wanted to.
She mentioned it because she worried that that was what I wanted.
Anyone else and I’d tell them to feel free to leave.
With her, I couldn’t say it. Not when she’d take what I said to heart.
Not when she clearly enjoyed our time together, and whatever bothered her before was made ten times worse by what we’d done.
I was a bit ashamed of how dominating I’d come across for her first time.
I’d lost control and fallen into old habits, saying things far dirtier than a teenage girl would be used to.
I hadn’t been gentle, or really even kind.
I’d proven to her that all men were beasts, and for some reason, that didn’t sit right with me.
The very idea of V thinking I was some sort of sex-crazed asshole made me desperate to prove otherwise.
“Stay,” I said softly, going onto my side. I wrapped an arm around her waist and breathed in her sweet mint scent. “Don’t leave just yet.” Leaning closer, I closed my eyes. “Not unless that’s what you want.”
Her pulse thundered in my ears and her inability to hide her gasp set my cooling body on fire.
I shouldn’t.
Her small hand reached tentatively out to my chest, and when I didn’t move away, she flattened her palm over my heart and relaxed inside my embrace. “I…I can stay.”
Don’t do it.
My eyes shot open, finding her hazel gaze full of desire and confusion beaming back at me.
Fuck. I’m going to do it.
Yanking her forward, I covered her mouth and kissed it with abandon, disregarding what it meant and sure I’d pay the price later.
It was the worst decision I could make to kiss her again, but I couldn’t find the strength to deny it anymore. I wanted her, even when it’d complicate everything. Even when it’d likely go against all my personal credos and interests.
So much for proving I’m not a beast.
Her mouth responded eagerly. With practiced grace, I rolled on top of her and spread her legs with one of my hands.
I worked quickly to remove the clothes she’d only just put back on.
I tasted her sweet, seductively smooth skin and licked everywhere within reach.
I reacquainted myself with all her most sensitive areas, teasing her skin to a vibrant, intoxicating red.
“Phil,” she breathed, praying my name, and I’d never loved the way someone said my name so much.
Swiftly, I smothered the chorus of moans she gave way to when my fingers sunk inside her to the third knuckle. I was determined to give her more pleasure than she could handle.
Without the serum, prep wasn’t necessary, but I loved the sounds she made. I loved how V didn’t hold back. She voiced her appreciation, and it was a major turn-on.
I broke the wrapper of the condom open with my teeth and unrolled the latex over my rock-hard cock.
It wasn’t often I was forced to concentrate not to move too quickly, but with V, it was every time. She could match my speed, but I was determined to give it to her slow and gentle.
I wanted her to know I could be an attentive lover, just like a certain obnoxious wolf.
Slow. Steady. Take your time.
Her fingers dug into my arms as she anchored herself to me, the pleasure of my cock inside her nothing either of us was prepared to feel.
It wasn’t anything like the first time. I could see it in her body and expression that the pleasure took her by complete surprise, and every sound that left her mouth was both utterly overcome and desperately afraid.
I hushed her, kissing her neck and slowly rocking my hips. “It’s okay. Just hold onto me. Breathe if you have to.”
Her face contorted, but she did as I said and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Then her hips swiveled anxiously, clearly not sure what to do. “It feels so much stronger…” she whispered hotly, not realizing the effect her words had on me.
Damn. Slow. Keep it slow.
Thankfully, I managed to slow down and gently guide her through the intense stimulation.
Soon, she moved in time with my thrusts and seemed less afraid of the pleasure.
Still, I took it as slow as I could. But as she started to get more confident in her own movements, it was more difficult to maintain control.
After only a few minutes, V arched off the bed and tightened around me impossibly.
“Phil!”
I swallowed, mouth bone-dry, and stared at her, mesmerized by her gorgeous body. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever had beneath me, and I couldn’t pretend she wasn’t anymore.
Flushed, she giggled in a rasp not natural to her voice. “Done?”
I realized I’d stopped moving and quickly rocked forward, transforming her laughter into a wanton groan. “Not even close.”
It didn’t hit me until our fourth sex position that she had school.
Worse, Nigel would smell me on her. Even though the idea of claiming her and making it clear to the wolf she was mine gave me a superior feeling in my chest, it would make trouble for V.
Not to mention for our ongoing collaboration.
Scheisse.