Holding Onto Pieces #2
I’d missed his heat. I couldn’t help but push into it.
I couldn’t fathom how I could feel so strongly for so many people but in entirely different ways.
I couldn’t compare the feelings. What I felt here in Sloan’s arms differed from how I felt in Cash, Jo, or Phillip’s.
And I sunk into it, reveling in a quiet moment where I was embraced and no one said a word.
No one moved.
But it was over too quick for my liking. Reality came crashing back in when Sloan pulled away. His hands glided down my arms before his touch was gone, and it took all my strength not to chase after him.
I’d missed him so much, and it wasn’t enough.
I wanted to kiss him, touch him, breathe him in for as long as it took to make up for the weeks we’d been apart.
I was afraid that I might not feel his touch again after this; that the bomb I’d set off in my relationships by sticking with Cash wasn’t one we’d recover from.
Was everything a mistake? Would I always regret this moment?
My throat hurt, but I swallowed and lifted my chin, eyes burning, terrified I’d cry.
That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
I’d made my choice, and I refused to manipulate them with tears.
Instead, I’d show them I wasn’t wrong for trusting Cash.
My gut told me this was what I needed to do, and even if it took a while, I’d make them see it.
Sloan glanced at Phillip from over his shoulder. “Let’s leave this issue for now, love. I need to speak with you,” he murmured, smiling in an uncomfortably sad way.
That look of his made me anxious. “What’s going on?”
Shaking his head, Sloan guided me into a walk, bypassing Cash with a steely glare. “Not here, love.”
We made it back to camp, but Phillip hadn’t said a word to me. His silence was deafening. But then again, so was Sloan’s. They were so sure I’d fallen under some spell Cash cast, but whatever made them drop the subject to return to camp still haunted the air between us.
Sloan kept close to me. Whatever disappointment or anger he felt, it wasn’t enough to stop him from touching me. His hand found mine when we closed in on camp, and it hadn’t let go since.
And I’d never been so damn relieved.
I’d expected Sloan to ignore me the same way Phillip was, but I should’ve known he never would.
He wasn’t the type. He’d try to understand, but at the very least, he’d listen before reacting.
He wasn’t a stubborn bastard like my pierced mentor became in a fight.
I’d forgotten how dissimilar they were in a crisis, but I was so glad they were.
I couldn’t take it if they both pushed me away.
Phillip was still visibly angry, but he knew something I didn’t—and the asshole wasn’t talking.
He barely looked at me, which really wasn’t like him when he was pissed off.
If anything, he’d stare a little too much when he wanted to punish me for something I did.
So, I already got the sensation that something was off.
Jo was already at camp when we arrived. She didn’t come over.
She stayed in place and watched me from where she was leaned up against a tree.
And while I still couldn’t read the woman, she seemed agitated.
Her gaze was glued to me. It was as if she was waiting for something to happen, and I grew more anxious by the second.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed answers. “What happened? Is Theo dead? Where’s Nigel?”
Sloan brushed a hand through his hair, the muscles all over his body pulled tight. “Things…didn’t go as planned, darling. Theo managed to escape with his life, but he and his faithful few fled. Nigel went after them.”
“By himself?” My stomach dropped.
Sloan shook his head, upset by the thought.
“Yes. He didn’t mention a word of it to me before he was gone.
All he left was a note. He said Theo would disappear if he didn’t go, and only he could.
” Sloan retrieved a little piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me.
“I think you should read it. It wasn’t written to me. It…”
I snatched the paper and read through it as fast as I could.
I would recognize his handwriting anywhere.
Nigel wrote so beautifully that it was something I’d admired about him since I started crushing on him in high school.
I’d studied his notes, desperate to hold onto pieces while pining for a person I couldn’t have.
His handwriting always held a special place inside my heart.
I have to go. He’ll disappear if I don’t, and only I can do this.
It’s too risky with the Hunter. I’ve made so many mistakes.
I’ve been someone I can’t be proud of anymore, so I want to come back and show that you didn’t give me a second chance for no reason.
I’m going to do something for you this time.
I’m going to be the person you always believed I was.
This is all I can do for you, and I hope it’ll be enough.
I hope you’ll welcome me back like you did before.
I hope this will prove I’ve got your back.
Just wait. I’ll show you that you didn’t make a mistake forgiving me.
I’ll be the Nigel I always was to you before I fucked it all up, and I’ll be the friend that didn’t betray you. Just wait for me.
-Forever yours, Nigel
Tears bit at my eyes as I read it over and over, sensing the sudden change in Sloan when I lifted my gaze.
His solemn expression wasn’t normal. It was off.
Darker than it’d ever been. The way he looked at me carried more meaning than someone who was sad that my friend was off doing something dangerous.
It felt like he wasn’t telling me something, and it made my stomach twist in knots.
Phillip finally looked at me, his lips thin and his body taut. His brow was furrowed, and the second our eyes met, his blue beams dropped. I knew that look. Fuck, there wasn’t any way I could pretend I didn’t.
Something bad had happened.
I stared at Sloan, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the bad fucking news. I could feel it in my bones that something was wrong, and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I just closed my eyes and hoped I read their expressions wrong.
“He found them in the outer territory and fought all ten of them by himself. He killed them all. Theo was maimed and in pieces, but…” Sloan whispered, his ice-blue eyes full of regret when I opened mine. “He’s dead, V. His injuries were too significant, and he was gone before I could get to him.”
I dropped to my knees, crumbling into a mess of limbs, the strength leaving my body in a rush.
Tears streamed down my face, and for once, every person in that group came together to comfort me.
Every single one put aside their hatred and disgust for each other to hold me and let me cry for the friend I’d lost.