Chapter 27 #3
I let out a slow breath. "You know what's funny? The thing you've wanted to talk about since we got back..." I hold his gaze. "...is everything except the one thing that actually happened."
Something shifts behind his eyes.
"You kissed me." The words are barely louder than the music surrounding us. "And then we came back here..." I laugh quietly, unable to hide the bitterness creeping into my voice. "...and suddenly it was like it never happened."
"Zora…"
"No." I cut him off before he can continue. "Not once."
I shake my head. "You didn't mention it once."
"This isn't the place."
I smile sadly. "There's never a place with you."
"I was trying to…"
"What?" I interrupt again. "Protect me? Respect my engagement? Pretend it didn't matter?"
His jaw tightens. "It mattered."
"Then why did you act like it didn't?"
He doesn't answer.
Around us, the music continues. Couples spin beneath the chandeliers while applause breaks out somewhere near the other end of the ballroom.
No one notices the silence growing heavier between us.
"I spent days wondering if I'd imagined it." I admit quietly. "Then I convinced myself maybe you regretted it."
"I didn't." His answer comes immediately.
I search his face. "Then why pretend it never happened?"
He looks away for the first time all evening. "I didn't know what I was allowed to want."
The honesty catches me completely off guard. For one fragile moment, neither of us moves. The music continues around us as though nothing has changed, other couples swaying across the dance floor while the orchestra carries the melody effortlessly through the ballroom. Then my eyes drift downward.
The diamond on my left hand catches the light. And the reality crashes back all at once.
I gently slip my hand from his shoulder and take a step back. My pulse pounds loudly enough that I'm convinced he can hear it.
"I need some air."
His expression shifts, as though he wants to say something, but he doesn't. He simply watches me turn away.
I weave through the crowd, murmuring quiet apologies as I brush past unfamiliar guests. The laughter and music grow fainter with every step until I push through the ballroom doors into the corridor beyond. The cool night air drifting through the open archways should calm me.
It doesn't. My thoughts are louder than the orchestra ever was.
I make it halfway down the hallway before I hear footsteps following behind me. They don't hurry to catch me. They don't hesitate either. They're steady, measured, and somehow that only frustrates me more.
"Zora."
I keep walking.
"Zora."
I stop so abruptly my heels scrape softly against the marble floor before turning to face him.
"What?" The word comes out sharper than I intend.
He stops several feet away, giving me enough space that I could leave again if I wanted to. Behind him, the ballroom doors remain closed, the celebration reduced to little more than a distant murmur.
"I wanted to talk."
A humorless laugh escapes me.
"No." I shake my head, trying to steady my breathing. "You wanted to avoid talking."
His expression tightens almost imperceptibly. "That's not fair."
"Isn't it?" I fold my arms tightly across my chest. "You ask me about Sebastian. You ask about my engagement. You look at me across every room we walk into."
I swallow hard, feeling every emotion I'd spent days forcing down finally pushing back to the surface.
"But the one thing neither of us is apparently allowed to acknowledge..." My voice falters despite every effort to control it. "...is that you kissed me."
Silence stretches between us. He doesn't deny or explain it. He just stands there, looking at me.
Something inside me finally snaps. I let out a hollow laugh.
"Do you know what's cruel?" I ask, my voice trembling. "You make me feel things... and then you act like none of it happened."
His jaw tightens. "I was trying to do the right thing."
"You were trying to do the easy thing."
His eyes narrow.
"You keep hiding behind duty, behind my engagement, behind whatever excuse is convenient that day." I take another step back, tears blurring my vision. "But that's all they are, Nico."
He doesn't move.
"You know what I think?" I whisper.
He waits.
"I think you're a coward."
The word hangs between us. I know it hurts. I mean for it to.
His expression changes so subtly that anyone else would've missed it, but I don't. Something inside him finally gives way.
"I've walked into gunfire without thinking twice." He says quietly. "I've stood in front of men twice my size. I've buried everyone I've ever loved."
He takes one slow step toward me. "But this..."
Another step. "...this is the first thing that's ever made me afraid."
I forget how to breathe.
His hand comes up slowly, giving me every opportunity to stop him. His fingers brush my cheek with almost unbearable gentleness.
"I'm terrified." He admits. "Because if I kiss you again..."
His thumb grazes my jaw. "...I won't be able to walk away from you."
The space between us disappears. His lips find mine before either of us can lose the courage to let them.