16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
The Huntress
I close my eyes, pressing against him, inhaling his scent like it’s oxygen and I’m suffocating. Moans litter the air around us, and I don’t know if the sound drives me forward or if it’s the way Jude’s slipped his fingers beneath the sheer of my shirt, brushing my bare skin. It’s so minor, so soft, and yet so intimate.
And I want more.
Now when he touches me, the voices are fucking silenced. Only I can get in the way of myself, but that’s not happening. I want to see how far I can go before I... snap.
My fingers brush over his hand, and I interlace my fingers with his. I peel his hand back and he stiffens against me, our swaying bodies stilling. He probably thinks I’m going to stop him, but I just want us to be alone. Latching onto him, I tug him away, parting through the crowd, and heading for the dark rooms. My heart hammers in my ears. My pussy is wet, and I push away the panic that threatens to sweep through my body like a tidal wave.
“Your brother will notice I’m gone,” Jude’s voice rasps as I tug him into the hallway, ripping open a door to nothing more than a dressing-room style area. “I’m not supposed to be—”
“Then go,” I snap over the music, disappointment and rejection hitting me like a ton of bricks. “I’m not forcing you to be here.” I try to pry my hand from his, but he latches on tighter, his body bumping into mine and guiding us into the room. With his free hand, he slams the door behind him.
“You want to do this then? Because I’m only going to ask once.”
I bristle. “I thought you only do this with girlfriends? ”
“Some risks are worth taking, and you are all I can fucking think about. So tell me what you want. You seemed mortified by me a couple of weeks ago.”
My mouth grows dry, and I swear all the moisture drains right to my pussy. “I want to try ,” I choke out, not even beginning to know how to explain myself. A Scream mask hits the floor at my feet as his lips land on my neck, nipping and sucking at my skin. Goosebumps cover my flesh.
“What do you want to try?” he murmurs, his hands slipping up the front of my corset, running over the snaps. “Tell me.”
I swallow hard as he undoes one of the snaps. “To be with someone.”
He pauses, his voice growing sharp. “I know you’ve been with people. I won’t touch you without honesty, Cher.”
My core begins to ache nearly as severe as my heart as I whisper, “To come, Jude. I’ve never...” I can’t bring myself to finish my thought, ironically. My vulnerability is on the line, and I wait with bated breath for him to do something— anything.
He undoes a second snap. My heart thrums in my chest as his fingers glide under the cup and across the flesh of my breast. I freeze at the intimate touch I haven’t ever consented to before in my life.
But tonight, I’m normal.
I squeeze my eyes shut as he pads across my nipple. It stands at attention for him, and he lets out a light groan into the nape of my neck.
“I don’t know if I can go slow,” Jude rasps as his other hand teases the waistband of my shorts. His words send a surge of panic through me, and as if he senses it, he continues. “But I will if that’s what you need.” The gentleness in his tone works, and I relax again.
Just keep the voices at bay, Jude.
He has no idea the battle he’s fighting—and winning. I arch my back as he pinches my nipple and then flips my shorts open. Jude’s hand slips downward, beneath my underwear.
‘Don’t let him touch you.’
‘He’s going to rape you.’
I gasp for air, my fingernails digging into his taught thighs. Shut up, I beg. Let me have this.
Jude’s deep groan drowns out the noise in my head as he suddenly dips lower, now fully aware of just how bad I want this— him. “Oh fuck, you’re so wet.”
My heart pounds, sensations pouring to my clit as he rubs me, pressing his hard length into my ass. Jude is all I can feel, smell, and my mouth salivates at the thought of tasting him. An unfamiliar moan escapes my lips as I tip my head back against him. He picks up his pace, intensifying my arousal before diving a finger inside of me.
My chest heaves at the intrusion, so bittersweet as it drags my memories up from the pit of hell in my mind. I bite down on my lip, terrified at the pleasure I’m feeling—so different than the intense pain of my past. But then the demons begin, and I stiffen.
‘He’s going to hurt you. Just wait.’
‘He’s just using you.’
‘It’s sick this is turning you on.’
Tears rim my eyes, and I force my gaze up at the man wrapped around my body, wishing I could quiet the voices. Jude is everything terrifying and beautiful, and there’s something about him that makes me want to rip myself open and let him see the truth. He stills as he meets my gaze—and then freezes. He sees me.
“Cher...” His voice is husky and thick with desire, but his fingers remain unmoved. “You can tell me to stop.”
I clench my jaw, embarrassed, disappointed, and defeated as Jude begins to remove his hand. “No,” I choke out, grabbing his wrist. “Just talk to me while you do it.”
Understanding fills his expression. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with me, but he knows something is. We’re in a dark room at a sex club, and I might as well be sitting in a therapist’s office. Jude’s quiet for a moment, and then flips me around, backing me up until my ass is pressed against the wall and I’m facing him.
“Look at me,” Jude commands, gripping my jaw and tipping my head back. Warmth flows back to my core as he begins to move again. My lips part as a light moan slips through, and my head quiets as Jude’s gaze holds me. “Tell me how good my fingers feel inside of you, doll.”
“G-g-good...” I stumble on my words like a shy little teenager, never having been asked how I feel.
Jude cracks a sweet smile, his eyes dark and soft all at the same time. He leans his forehead against mine, as he presses a second finger inside of me. My hips buck against him, and suddenly, I’m desperate to reach my climax. I squeeze my eyes shut, but I’m met with a growl and his tightening grip.
“Open those eyes. I’ll be what you see when you come.”
I whimper and do as I’m told, arousal washing through my body. My pussy clenches around his fingers as I let him see me encounter a place I’ve never been before, physically and mentally.
“Oh fuck, you’re so close.” Jude’s fingers move in rhythm with my hips, and I’m starving for him, desperation for satisfaction as I reach the edge.
I need more.
My eyes slip from his and I suck in a breath. My heart skips a beat as I take in the perfect shape of his mouth. He doesn’t command my gaze to come back. Instead, as if he can read my mind, he kisses me.
In a blast of confusing and powerful ecstasy, my orgasm crashes down around me just as Jude’s tongue enters my mouth. I cry out as I tremble, tasting the hint of liquor, mint, and hunger in the way he’s moving. I melt into him, even as he withdraws his hands from my pants. My mask hits the floor as I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him to me. He groans as his erection digs into my lower stomach. I rub against it, my pussy aching for him.
However, the vibration of something in his pocket cuts through my delusion—and shame racks my entire being as Jude breaks our kiss, his hand leaving my body to retrieve his phone.
I’m suddenly stuck in reality, exposed. There’s no mask. I’m the same broken girl I’ve always been, standing in a disgusting sex club dark room—where I just willingly let a man touch me. Bring me to an orgasm. And kiss me. I shakily brush my fingertips across my swollen lips.
I haven’t kissed anyone since him...
“Your brother,” Jude mutters, his eyes on the screen. “I gotta go.” He looks up at me, his brows furrowing as he sees my expression. “I’m not trying to bail. I—”
“It’s fine,” I say in a rushed tone as I divert my gaze and scoop my mask up off the floor. Not looking at him, I fit the stupid black rabbit cover back to my face and redo the front of my corset and shorts. My stomach lurches as I realize how easy I was for Jude—and how easily I obeyed him.
‘This is what you wanted.’
‘At least you finally got that orgasm you’ve never had.’
My teeth begin to chatter, as I smooth my clothes out. Jude remains a foot away, and I can feel his gaze on me. Avoiding it, I slip past him, feeling myself on the edge of a fucking panic attack again—like the first time I truly encountered the man.
“Hey, wait,” Jude grabs my wrist. “This isn’t it. We can talk when I finish with Henry.” His voice is too soft. His touch, too gentle.
I’m going to be sick.
I rip myself from his grip and stumble out of the room, using the door as a means to block him from following me. The dampness of my underwear brushes my inner thighs, and I swallow the bile rising in my throat.
‘Do you really think Jude would want you if he knew what happened to you?’ the voice taunts me, breaking my heart as if I’m seventeen all over again. ‘He’d probably think you were disgusting. You are disgusting.’
A sign for the restroom flickers in my peripheral, and I make a mad dash for it, nearly tripping and falling on my face as I shove open the door to the women’s. I whip the stall door open and lose everything I’ve eaten for the day. The best thing I’ve ever experienced has just made me feel sicker than ever.
I’m so fucked up.
And someone needs to pay for it.