Chapter 29
Garrett
Fuck me.
Okay then.
That was…
I don’t know what that was.
I collapse beside my Angel, staring at the ceiling as I catch my breath. One arm above my head. The other on my chest. Mind racing. Heart thundering. Breath roaring.
She’s…
I’ll never get her out of my system.
That’s the only thought in my head.
I thought that was all I needed. To get her out of my system.
I’ve said it so many times, I actually believed it.
But she’s in there forever now. Swimming through my bloodstream.
Rooted into my cells. I will always want her.
Always want more of that. After a day spent laughing, feeling more at ease than I have since—
—feeling more at ease than I have in years, she does that. Responding to me like her body was made for mine. So sweet, so pliant. So embarrassed to beg but so eager for more.
Beside me, she lays on her back, wrists still trapped in my belt. I push up on an elbow, brush a strand of hair from her face.
“You okay, Angel?”
Her eyes focus on mine and a smile quirks her lips. “Is that what they call this? Okay? Because I am so much more than okay.”
Carefully, I unwrap the belt from her wrists, kissing each finger and rubbing the indents on her skin. Seeing her like this, so open, so vulnerable, so…fuck. What? There’s a knot of emotion twisting in my chest, my belly, and I can’t make sense of it.
Can’t think through it.
I kiss her forehead. Her eyelids. The tip of her nose.
The corners of her lips. Then stretch out on my back, opening my arms for her to curl in.
She rests her head on my chest, one shapely leg draping over mine while her fingers trace lazy circles on my abdomen.
I run a hand through her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
Coconut. Lime. I’ve never smelled something so sweet.
If I could hold her like this forever, I’d…
I’d what?
What are those thoughts? Why can’t I finish them?
“Are you mad at me?” Angela’s voice is almost a whisper.
“Mad?” I lift my head from the pillow to seek out her gaze. “Why would I be mad?”
“You’re super quiet and it’s weirding me out.”
“No, no, no my Angel. I’m not mad. I’m…” I sigh because what am I?
Awed?
Confused?
Smitten?
Off-balance?
“I’m enjoying what we did,” I finally reply, running a hand through her silken locks.
“That was definitely something.” Angela shifts, pushing up on an elbow, hair cascading over shoulders.
“I must say, you lived up to all the fantasies I’ve had about you.
” She gasps in shock, then laughs. “Look what you’ve done to me.
I’m still spiraling somewhere above the earth and apparently have no control of my mouth. ”
“Sex makes you spill your secrets. Good to know.”
Angela drops her head onto my chest with a groan. “Promise you’ll only use that knowledge for good?”
“I make no such promise.” This feels easy. Natural. I smile. “I will use that knowledge to my advantage like any businessman worth his salt. Now spill. Fantasies?”
“Mmhmm. Ever since you kissed me at The Pact…well, no…before that…” A crooked smile twists her lips as she watches me process the timeline.
“Before that? Ms. Hutton. Are you saying you started fantasizing about me right after we met?”
I think back to her that night, a little drunk, a lot mad, giving me hell for showing up late. I thought she hated me.
“See, it’s all perfectly understandable and explainable…
” Sitting up, Angela runs a finger down my chest. Her smile brightens as her eyes shift to the side.
“The first text I got, before I realized I had the wrong phone, was a pic of you, in bed, and the way you stared at the camera, at whoever was taking the picture, it was…” She bites her bottom lip as her cheeks go pink.
“Never mind. It’s kind of embarrassing.”
I know what picture she’s talking about, and I remember when Melinda took it, though why she chose to send it to me the same day she outed herself for cheating is beyond me.
“Oh, no,” I say with a low chuckle. “You started the story. You’re obligated to finish it.”
Angela’s eyes meet mine and the vulnerability I see there surprises me.
“It was a super sexy picture okay? You looked at the camera like you were…raw and manly. Like you’d…
I don’t know…do all the dirty things we just did and somehow there was this...
this primal something. This claiming.” She sighs in exasperation.
“It was very sexy and your shirt was off and I liked it, okay?”
Her embarrassment is sweet. It makes her seem so young and inexperienced. Surely that can’t be true though. A woman like this…?
“Did I live up to the fantasy?”
“Did you…? Yes, Garrett,” she says with a laugh, her cheeks darkening from pink to red. “You didn’t just live up to it, you obliterated it. You blew it out of the water.”
I sit up, narrowing my eyes as a thought strikes me. “What’s the hottest experience you’ve ever had?”
“You.” Angela’s answer comes quickly, without a hint of deception or manipulation. “Before tonight, it was the phone sex. After tonight? That belt might take the lead. I’m…I’m not sure. Either way, it’s you.”
Blinking, I sit up straighter. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…have you been dating assholes?”
She slaps my chest. “Play nice.”
“I am. Believe me, I am. If a woman with a body like yours…if no one’s shown you what it’s capable of, then…”
“Then what?”
“Then you and I are going to have a lot of fun together.” God, the things I could do to her. The things I want to do to her. She’d blush if I voiced them, but slowly, surely, she’ll beg for it all in time.
“If that means doing more of what we just did, then I’m in.” Angela curls into me and I run my fingers through her hair.
“Now I’m curious,” I say, distracted by thoughts of what I want to do with her next. “What’s your sex life been like?”
“Garrett!” She covers her face with both hands. “You don’t just ask someone stuff like that.”
“Humor me, Angel. I want to know you.”
She presses up on her elbow, staring in shock. “You’re not…are you…? Garrett Cooper…are we connecting?”
I laugh despite myself and mimic her posture. “No. You’re avoiding my question.”
Angela’s brows furrow and she captures her bottom lip between her teeth.
She’s considering the implications of answering while I chew over my deep desire for this piece of her.
Connection isn’t my thing. Not since Elizabeth.
I’ve purposefully avoided it, but there’s no denying that’s what’s happening.
I’ve shared parts of myself and want parts of her in return.
“Apparently,” Angela finally says, “my sex life has been underwhelming. I mean, I’m not inexperienced, but I haven’t ever done anything like—” she waves a hand over my body “—this.”
Pride swells my chest. I like being a new experience, a good experience, for her.
“Has it only been missionary sex and the occasional bouquet of flowers, then?” I mean the question as a joke, but the way her eyes cut away and her cheeks grow pink tell me I hit the nail on the head.
“Jesus, Angel. That’s not right.”
“It’s fine. It’s not like I’m suffering or anything.” She quirks her head, suddenly shy. “What about for you? Was that…? Did I…? Did you…?”
“Did I what?”
“Did you ever think about me? Like that?”
Me in the shower, dick in hand, pumping hard while I imagined her on her knees in front of me…
I nod. “I fantasized a little.”
“A little?”
“I jacked off, thinking about you in red heels, down on your knees, begging for my cock. So yeah. A little.”
A blush warms her cheeks, and a smile brightens her eyes. “Is it wrong that I like that?”
“Is it wrong…? Good God woman, why would that be wrong?”
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t I be indignant or something?”
I shrug. “Are you indignant?”
“I kind of like it.”
“Well, there you go. That’s what you should feel.”
“That’s it?” Angela huffs a laugh. “That’s what I’m feeling, so that’s what I should feel?”
“My therapist says all emotions are valid. That we shouldn’t try to control what we feel, only how we choose to react to those feelings.”
I blink.
Fuck.
Therapist.
Did I really say that?
How the hell did I let that slip? The only people who know about that are my family, and even them knowing makes me uncomfortable.
Angela shakes her head and I recognize the glint in her eyes. She thinks she’s gonna prove me wrong. I know because I look the same way when I dig in my heels. “So you’re saying if I get super pissed at some guy who cuts me off on the road, that’s valid. Road rage is a-okay.”
“The emotion is valid. You can’t control that.
In fact, you probably need to listen to what it’s telling you because it’s a symptom of a greater problem.
What’s not valid is giving into that rage and letting it dictate your behavior.
Take a deep breath, let the emotion exist, and then choose a course of action you can be proud of.
Forgive yourself. Forgive the guy. Then take some time to understand why that rage was there in the first place, waiting for an outlet. ”
“Sounds easy enough.” She smiles and I push into a sitting position.
“It’s not. Believe me. I’ve been working on it for years and my anger issues still run deep.”
I swallow hard, disbelief clamping my jaw shut.
What the hell am I doing? Talking about my fucking issues? Really?
Angela turns her focus to me. “Now see, there’s something we should take some time to understand. Why are you so angry, Mr. Cooper?”
I don’t want to talk about this. Not now. Not with her.
Never with her.
She doesn’t know the rage filled me. The red-faced me. The choking on spite and venom me.
And if I have my way, she never will.
Time to redirect the dialogue.
I wrap an arm around Angela’s waist and flip her onto her back, covering her body with mine. She squeals, laughing in delight. “How can I be angry when there’s a beautiful woman, naked in my bed?”
“Your bed? I thought you gave it to me.”
“Oh.” I look around, feigning confusion. “Are you suggesting you want me to leave?”
“No way.” Angela slides her hands up my arms, around my shoulders, and pulls me close. “I want you to continue my romantic education.” She shifts her gaze to the ceiling, thinking, searching, then turns to me with a smile. “Feed me strawberries while we drink champagne until morning.”
“What if I have a better idea?”
“Better than strawberries and champagne? Do tell.”
“I think it’s better if I show you,” I say, then silence her retort with a kiss.