Chapter 22
Micah
“Micah Anthony Hutton. Do you care to explain yourself?”
I pull the phone away from my ear and grimace. Even as an adult, Mom breaking out my middle name is enough to make my balls crawl into my stomach. Excusing myself, I push my chair away from the table where I’m eating breakfast with the rest of the crew at the fire station.
I give Carson a look that says I might be in trouble, then head for the bunk room to continue the conversation in private. “It’s good to hear your voice, Mom.”
“Don’t you play innocent with me. It doesn’t work when your father tries it, and it has never worked for you.”
I flick on the light and grin. “It sometimes works for me.”
“Well, it’s not working for you today. I am shocked. And hurt. And just…” She stumbles for words, huffing and stammering and wow, Mom’s genuinely upset. It’s been so long since she’s been disappointed with me that I assumed she was joking with the whole middle name thing.
I sit on the edge of one of the beds. “What’s wrong, Mom? What did I do?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong.
You’re a father. And I’m a grandmother. And your dad?
He’s a grandpa. And all of that is enough of a surprise, just out of the blue, but then I find out that Ivy and this little angel are living with you.
And you didn’t think that was something your dad and I should know? ”
Fuck. Of course I forgot to call my parents. And of course someone else decided to open their big mouth and tell them before I did.
I’m going to kill Nathan for blabbing. Or Angela. Or both for good measure.
“It all happened really fast, Mom. I didn’t intentionally keep this from you. I promise.”
“I should hope not! We’re not the kind of family who keeps secrets, Mi. At least I didn’t think we were.”
“We’re not. Like I said, it all happened super fast.” I fill her in on the last several days, shaking my head in disbelief even though I lived the story.
“Wow,” she says when I’m done. “Just…wow.”
“Nell’s really sweet. You’re gonna love her.”
“Nell.” Mom says the name with so much love, I regret not calling her sooner.
“Short for Penelope Michaela Cole.”
“Michaela!” Mom immediately catches the meaning. “Oh, Micah. It’s like a fairy tale. When true love knocks, it keeps knocking until you answer the door.”
“I don’t know, Mom. Ivy’s been through a lot. I’m still adjusting to being a dad. I’m not sure love has anything to do with us anymore. A lot’s changed since we were together.”
For example, we’re just friends now even though I’ve been in love with her for years.
And we agree to one-time things that will forever haunt my fantasies.
“Sure, sure.” Mom says, hearing me and brushing me off in the same breath. “Time is funny, Mi. Sometimes days feel like years and years feel like days. You and Ivy will get to know each other again and I bet it’ll feel like no time has passed for you two.”
“That’s kind of already true.”
“See. True love is knocking.” She’s grinning, I can hear it. Certain Ivy and I will have a whirlwind romance like she did with Dad. “When do we get to meet little Nell? Oh! What’s her favorite dessert? I’ll bake it up and hand deliver it tonight!”
“It might be too soon for that kind of stuff.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, shaking my head. “We haven’t even told her I’m her dad yet.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah. Oh. Like I said, there’s a lot going on. I can’t wait for you to meet Nell, but I want to wait until I can introduce you as her grandma, rather than just my mom.”
“Pshh. Just your mom. It’s been an honor being your mother even when we got called into the principal’s office because you were pole dancing on the playground.”
“Hey. What can I say? I looked up to Dad a lot, okay?”
Carson pulls the fire truck into the parking lot at Oceanview Elementary like the pro he is, navigating the tight space better than I ever could.
“Man. I hate doing this community outreach bullshit.” He turns to Probie. “Prepare yourself for a shitshow, my friend.”
“What are you talking about?” I turn in my seat, genuinely surprised. “This is one of my favorite parts of the job. How can you think it’s a shitshow?”
“Easy.” Carson slides his sunglasses onto his head. “It smells like cafeteria. The kids are shitty and loud. The seats are small. Everything is questionably sticky, and you have to act like whatever they say is gold or you might accidentally traumatize someone. What’s there to like?”
“The energy. The honesty. The fact that they think we’re fucking superheroes and want high fives and actually care enough to ask questions, stupid or not. I love watching them get enthused because of the lights and the sirens.”
Carson throws an arm on the back of his seat. “Do you love having to scrape the sticky off everything once they’ve toured the truck?”
“That’s what Probie’s for.” I shrug while the poor guy grumbles and we climb out of the truck to meet the principal.
She guides us into the cafeteria, where we set up for our presentation.
Windows line one wall. The bulkheads are painted lime green and the walls a bright teal.
The names of different classes are written like they’re in a comic book. Math! Science! Social Studies!
It makes me think of Nell. She’d fucking love this place.
“See.” Carson wrinkles his nose. “It smells like school lunch in here.”
With my hands on my hips, I take a deep breath. “I find it kind of nostalgic.”
Carson mimics me in a high-pitched voice, then rolls his eyes.
“I feel like you’ve got a lot of baggage when it comes to school, my friend.
You might want to start working through that.
” I clap him on the shoulder then put some distance between us.
Before Tucker’s injuries parked him on the couch, he used to love coming to these as much as I do.
I always equated it to him having kids of his own, but after whatever the fuck just crawled up Carson’s ass, I wonder if it has more to do with the way we see the world.
To me, kids are pure. Filled with hope and unformed potential. I guess Tucker feels that way too, while Carson sees work, burden, and mess. Funny how a change in perspective can change everything.
The kids filter into the cafeteria, upping the sound levels significantly.
We go through our spiel and answer questions, then invite them to tour the truck.
While the teachers organize the chaos of children into tidy lines, I scan the crowd, pausing when I spot Nell, waving her hands over her head and jumping up and down to catch my attention.
How did I not know she went to this school? My own kid…
“Who’s that?” asks Carson, following my gaze straight to Nell.
Shit.
I can’t introduce him to my daughter before I introduce her to my parents. Forgetting to tell them she existed was shitty enough, but letting someone else in on the secret before they’ve met? Not gonna happen.
“She’s the kid whose room caught fire last week. The electrical fire.” I fold my arms over my chest and pray he drops it.
He doesn’t.
“Oh, right. With the old lady and the hot piece of ass you couldn’t stop staring at.” Carson elbows me in the ribs. “You fuckin’ dog. You got game, Tower, I’ll give you that.”
Ivy is so much more than a hot piece of ass and I want to break his jaw every time he says it. But I shove my hands in my pockets and clamp my mouth shut. He wouldn’t talk about her like that if he knew who she was, and I’ll explain it all.
Later.
When the time is right.
The kids filter through the truck, touching everything in sight. I laugh every time Carson grimaces, his eyes darting to Probie as if to say, “See? That right there is why this fucking sucks.”
When Nell’s class finally arrives, she dashes out of line to wrap me in a hug. I swoop her up and hold her tight, surprisingly emotional over the affection.
“Hey, Nell Bell,” I say while her teacher comes up to pull her back in line.
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “Nell is a little exuberant.”
“It’s okay, Miss Wannamaker. I know him.
This is the fireman that saved my grandma and he made an anonymous donation so my mom and me have a house.
He lets us stay with him.” She beams, proud to have finally said ‘anonymous’ right while I inwardly cringe.
Out of context, the story sounds incredibly suspicious.
Carson’s giving me the side-eye. Probie’s pretending he didn’t hear.
And Nell’s teacher looks like she’s deciding if she should call Child Protective Services or not.
“This is him?” A little boy with chubby cheeks and a movie star’s smile steps out of line. “The guy?” He points my way. “The one you telled us about?”
“Yes, Giuseppe. This is Micah. A real-life superhero.” Nell sounds so proud, the kids crowd around me, machine gunning questions about the fire.
“How heavy’s her Gramma?”
“Does it stink like farts inside your mask?”
“Did it make you sad to see the burning toys?”
“Isn’t it scary to run towards a fire? I’d want to run away.”
“It’s not scary for him,” Nell says, like she’s known me for years.
I crouch down to meet the kids on eye level.
“Fear’s job is to tell you when there’s danger around, and fires are dangerous.
Believe me, I still get scared. It all comes down to how you manage the feeling.
I can let it stop me from doing what I know I have to do, or I can let it inspire me to be better.
I’m no different than you kids. I know you all get scared sometimes just like I do.
The next time it happens, remember, you get to choose how you react to it. ”
The kids gape at me with mixtures of blank stares, awed smiles, and something that looks like bad gas.
“I get real scared when there’s monsters under my bed,” whispers a little girl near the back while several kids nod in sage agreement.
“You guys look like each other.” Giuseppe glances from me to Nell and back again. At first, I’m glad for the interruption because I have no idea how to deal with monsters under the bed, but then I process what he said.
“No, we don’t.” Nell rolls her eyes. “He has brown hair and I have white, like my mommy’s.” Though, as soon as she finishes the sentence, her little brows furrow and her head cocks.
Ten bucks says we’re both remembering what Ivy said when Nell asked about me.
I told her she was the best parts of her dad. Smart and strong and filled with energy and questions. And I told her she looked just like him, that the only thing she got from me was my hair, which made her a very lucky little girl.
“But your eyes are the same.” Giuseppe squints. “And your lips. It’s kinda weird. Cuz he’s old and a boy and you’re little and a girl, but it’s like your twins.”
Well, shit. Nothing like being outed by a little kid.
Nell studies my face like she’s seeing it for the first time. For that matter, everyone in the truck is studying the similarities between us. One glance at Carson tells me he’s already suspicious and when I look back to Nell, I swear she is, too.