12. Chapter 12 - Theron #2
The moment Matt stepped into the water, the cavern filled subtly with his scent beneath the steam and mineral heat.
Theron caught cedar first, then gun oil, cold stone, and the lingering trace of smoke that always seemed woven into him after battle.
Beneath all of it lingered something warmer that reminded Theron painfully of older things: rain-soaked pine forests, fire-lit camps buried beneath winter mountains, and the quiet steadiness of soldiers who sat awake through the night so others could sleep.
It was the kind of scent Theron associated with loyalty, which frightened him far more than violence ever had.
Matt stepped carefully into the water and hissed softly as the heat reached him. “Oh wow,” he muttered. “I might actually cry.”
Theron looked away before the fondness threatening beneath his ribs became too obvious.
Matt moved deeper into the pool until he stood beside him beneath the faint drifting steam. Up close, Theron could see exhaustion lingering around his eyes despite the humor still present in his expression. For a while neither of them spoke. The quiet between them no longer felt uncomfortable.
Matt eventually dipped beneath the surface completely before resurfacing with water slicking back his hair. “Okay,” he announced, “if we survive this mountain, I am demanding civilization. Preferably somewhere with hot water that comes from pipes instead of cursed rocks.”
Theron glanced at him. “You object to the cursed rocks?”
“I object to anything described as cursed being part of my hygiene routine.”
Theron considered that. “Fair.”
Matt smiled. “See? Personal growth.”
Theron shook his head faintly.
Matt studied him for a moment afterward, the teasing softening gradually into something more careful. “You look tired.”
Theron considered denying it. Instead, he answered honestly. “I am.”
Matt stepped closer before reaching toward him slow enough to give Theron time to pull away if he wished. Theron did not. Matt’s fingers brushed lightly across a healing cut near Theron’s shoulder. “This reopened.”
“It is nothing.”
“That’s never reassuring when you say it.”
Matt moved behind him then, dipping a cloth into the warm water before gently working it across the blood dried along Theron’s upper back where one of the creatures in the tunnels had managed to rake claws through his clothing earlier during the descent.
The simple act of being cared for unsettled him far more than the touch itself.
For too many years, every hand laid on him had brought violence, injury, or obligation.
Kindness felt far more dangerous than desire ever had.
Matt must have sensed it because his movements gradually slowed.
“You really aren’t used to someone taking care of you, are you? ” he asked softly.
Theron stared toward the waterfall ahead of them. “No.”
The answer came quieter than intended. For several seconds, Matt said nothing at all. Then the cloth moved gently across another scrape near Theron’s ribs, careful despite the strength in his hands. “You don’t always have to survive everything alone,” Matt murmured.
Something in Theron tightened painfully at the words.
He turned in the water until they faced one another again. Steam drifted between them in thin pale ribbons while the dim crystal light reflected softly across the surface of the pool. Matt’s hand still rested lightly against his side. Neither of them moved away.
Theron lowered his gaze briefly toward the water before reaching up and brushing damp fingers carefully along Matt’s jaw. The touch felt almost hesitant despite his size and strength.
Matt leaned into it. The trust in that small motion nearly undid him.
“You make it very difficult to pretend I do not need you,” Theron admitted.
Matt’s expression softened. “Good.”
Theron huffed the faintest laugh.
Then Matt kissed him with gentle, steady affection wrapped carefully around growing desire.
Theron kissed him back with far less restraint than before.
One of Matt’s hands slid against the back of his neck while the other settled against Theron’s chest beneath the water.
Heat spread sharply through Theron at the contact, stronger now without fear and adrenaline clouding everything between them.
When they finally pulled apart, Matt rested his forehead lightly against his. “You know,” Matt whispered, smiling faintly, “this is still objectively the weirdest date I’ve ever been on.”
And for the first time in a very long time, Theron laughed without forcing it.
The sound echoed off the cave walls, rich and surprised, like something that had been locked in his chest so long it did not recognize the way out.
Matt’s grin widened, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and he pressed his forehead harder against Theron’s as though he wanted to memorize the feel of it.
“There it is,” Matt murmured.
Theron’s laugh faded into something softer, a smile that did not quite know what to do with itself. His hand was still on Matt’s jaw, thumb tracing a slow path along the bone there, mapping territory he had never expected to claim.
“I forgot what that felt like,” Theron said. His voice came rough, stripped of armor. “Forgot it could feel like that.”
Matt’s hand slid from Theron’s chest up to his shoulder, fingers curling into the curve where neck met muscle.
“You’ve got more of those in you.”
Theron shook his head, but the smile stayed. “You don’t know that.”
“I do.” Matt’s thumb pressed lightly against the pulse at Theron’s throat. “I heard one. I’m going to hear another.”
Something flickered in Theron’s chest, a ghost of the old habit that told him to pull back before wanting became too loud.
But his hand stayed on Matt’s jaw. His forehead stayed pressed to Matt’s.
Water lapped at their chests as they drifted in the stillness.
Steam rose around them, catching the low light, and somewhere above, a single drop of water fell from the cave ceiling and struck the pool with a sound like a held breath released.
Theron’s fingers slid from Matt’s jaw into his hair, threading through the damp strands. “I don’t know what to do with my hands,” he admitted, quiet, almost embarrassed.
Matt caught his wrist, brought it up, and pressed a kiss to the inside of it, right where the pulse beat close to the surface. “Anything you want.”
Theron’s breath stuttered. His eyes stayed on the spot Matt’s lips had touched, as though he was watching something come alive there. “No one’s ever.” He stopped, swallowed, and started again. “I don’t know how to be touched like this. Like I’m something worth being gentle with.”
Matt’s grip on his wrist tightened, just barely. “You are.”
Theron studied him. Water beaded on Matt’s shoulders, warmth held steady in those brown eyes, and there was no hesitation in the way Matt held his gaze. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you look at me like that?” Theron’s voice cracked on the last word, and he did not try to hide it. “Like I’m not—like I haven’t spent years being—”
He broke off, jaw working. Matt waited. His thumb traced slow circles on Theron’s wrist.
“I’ve hurt people,” Theron said. The words fell heavy into the space between them. “I’ve done things I can’t take back. There’s blood on my hands. Real blood. And you just—” His voice broke. “You kissed me like I was clean.”
The cave seemed to hold its breath as the water settled around them, still and warm. Matt’s hand left Theron’s wrist and rose carefully, giving him time to pull away before settling against his cheek, palm cupping the sharp angle of his jaw.
“I don’t need you to be clean,” Matt said. “I need you to be here.”
Theron’s eyes closed. His whole body trembled once, a wire pulled taut and released, and then he leaned into Matt’s palm like a man finally allowing himself to rest. “I’m here,” he whispered.
“Good.” Matt’s thumb swept across his cheekbone. “That’s all I need.”
Theron opened his eyes. They were bright in the lamplight, but his voice came steady. “Can I kiss you again?”
Matt’s smile spread until it reached his eyes. “I was starting to think you’d never ask.”
Theron kissed him.
It was not the careful, searching kiss from before. This one had weight behind it, a lifetime of wanting that had never been given permission to exist. His hand fisted in Matt’s hair, pulling him closer, and Matt made a sound against his mouth that might have been surprise or relief or both.
Matt’s arms wrapped around him, hands flat against the broad plane of his back, skin sliding against skin in the warm water. Theron’s chest pressed against his, solid and warm, and the kiss deepened, opened, became something neither of them was ready to name.
When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard. Theron’s forehead dropped to Matt’s shoulder. His arms came around Matt’s waist, holding him close, and he could not stop the shudder that moved through him.
“I don’t know what happens next,” Theron said into his skin. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Neither do I.” Matt’s hand moved in slow circles on his back. “But I know I want to find out. With you.”
Theron’s arms tightened. His breath came warm and uneven against Matt’s collarbone.
Matt pressed a kiss into his damp hair and lingered there for a moment, forehead resting lightly against him while the warm water moved around them.
“We’ve got time.”
Theron pulled back just enough to look at him. His mouth was swollen from kissing, his face open in a way that made vulnerability feel more dangerous than the mountain.
“Okay,” Theron said.
“Okay.”
Theron’s hand found Matt’s beneath the surface, fingers lacing together as though they had been doing it their whole lives.
Theron searched Matt’s face. His gaze moved deliberately tracing the line of Matt’s jaw, the curve of his mouth, and those unwavering brown eyes that had not looked away once.
Matt’s thumb traced a slow arc across Theron’s knuckles beneath the water. “What?”