Chapter 13
They say that the depth of love is measured by the pain of loss.
But what about the refusal to give up hope?
When Liisa disappeared, Elea was thrown into a world of uncertainty.
There was no firm indication that her daughter was dead, but neither was there anything to suggest that she was still alive.
Elea could see it on people’s faces when the subject was raised.
She didn’t want their pity. She wanted them to have witnessed what happened that day.
Her last moments with Liisa were forever locked into Elea’s memory to be played on a loop.
Elea had got annoyed over the most minor of things, sullying their last precious minutes together.
Because even if Liisa was found alive, she would never be that little girl again.
Lost in thought, Elea sat in Swann’s office, sipping from the cup of coffee that Ness had kindly made.
She wasn’t going anywhere, despite his earlier orders to return to her hotel.
She knew how he’d react and had pre-empted him.
She cradled the mug in her hands, relaxing in the comfort of Swann’s leather chair.
The kitchen sink had been dripping the morning that Liisa disappeared.
A dripping tap was the sole reason for Elea’s annoyance.
No, Elea corrected herself, it went back further than that.
She had woken up late. There was a power cut in the night, and her alarm hadn’t gone off.
She’d been disorientated after a nightmare that she could no longer remember, but felt.
Then she’d checked her watch, cursed, stumbled out of bed and stubbed her toe.
She’d been working late every night and had barely seen her daughter all week.
Oh, those precious days. She’d missed so many, working for a world that did not deserve her loyalty as she tried to keep the streets of Helsinki safe.
By the time she reached their small kitchen, her daughter was dressed and eating some porridge that she’d made.
Liisa wasn’t only gifted academically, she was blessed with common sense, too.
Yet Elea didn’t praise her daughter for her independence, or remark on how pretty her hair looked that day.
Instead she’d grumbled because they had run out of coffee and asked why Liisa hadn’t woken her up.
Elea often relived that morning in her mind and fantasised about turning back time.
If only she could go back to how it should have been.
She would have got up early that morning, called in sick to work, then given her daughter a day off school.
She imagined Liisa’s surprise as she told her that she was taking her somewhere nice.
“But we can’t,” Liisa would say, then list some school project she had to complete.
Liisa didn’t skip school. Elea’s vivacious, intelligent daughter planned to be a judge one day.
That girl was born middle-aged. Elea swallowed back her regret as she forced her dream to conclude.
She couldn’t leave her imaginary daughter hanging there.
“Where would you like to go?” she would say, already knowing the answer.
“To the horse farm!” Liisa would reply, because she adored all animals, but horses were her absolute favourites.
The six-hundred-acre farm in Sipoo was only half an hour away.
Elea would agree, urging Liisa to wear something appropriate.
“I’ll call the school, tell them you have a dental appointment.
” But this is where the daydream turned, because Liisa would frown, worried about her mother’s sudden change of character.
“What’s going on?” she’d ask. “What’s wrong?
” Then Elea’s dream would fade away. Because she wasn’t the type of person to allow her daughter to skip school, not even for one day.
She rubbed her chest with the heel of her palm to ease the physical pain.
Why must she put herself through this time and time again?
Her police colleagues knew the depressing stats.
After forty-eight hours of being missing, the chances of someone like Liisa being found alive dropped dramatically.
Ten long years had passed. She would be a woman now, celebrating her twenty-second birthday this year.
After all this time it was unlikely Liisa was alive.
If she’d managed to escape, then why hadn’t she been in touch?
As usual, when revisiting the case in her mind, Elea’s thoughts turned to the other Ice Angels.
Their school bags were also discovered in the snow, but their remains had never been found.
Why were there so many years between each disappearance?
Elea thought of Anu’s mother. Maria was heading into her seventies.
Like Elea, she refused to give up hope. Like Elea, she had kept her child’s bedroom exactly how it was on the day she disappeared.
How many more ghostly museums to missing children existed in the world?
She dragged herself back into present day as Swann returned.
By the look on his face, Swann’s meeting with her new friend the superintendent had gone as she had hoped. It seemed that Elea would not be packing her bags for Helsinki just yet.
“Up.” He gesticulated, approaching his chair.
Elea conceded, cradling her coffee mug as she walked to the other side of the desk. Swann’s office was organised and clean, his shelves filled with well-thumbed law books. But the office was too open for her liking. In Helsinki she had total privacy.
“You think you have it all figured out, don’t you?” Swan sat heavily in his chair.
Elea suppressed her smile. This was not a game to her, and she refused to be treated like a child. She was a determined crime inspector—the Finnish equivalent of a DI—who aimed to achieve results where others had failed. “I take it I’m staying, then?”
“Clever move, speaking to the super and getting her onside. But I’d prefer it if you didn’t go over my head next time.”
“Pata kattilaa soimaa, musta kylki kummallakin.” Elea drily spoke the words.
Swann would know enough Finnish to understand “The pot bad-mouths the kettle.” Before he left his job in Finland, she was his boss, which was why she would not allow him to treat her as an insubordinate now. “When is the briefing?”
Swann let her comment go. “We’re waiting on DIU.
But speak to the team before you go galloping off somewhere else.
” He had a point. The Divisional Intelligence Unit was a valuable resource, but Elea had little time to play with.
Getting the rest of Swann’s team on board would do no harm in the long run.
“All right, if it makes you happy. We all want the same thing here, but remember: I’m best positioned to get it. You’re lucky to have me.”
Swann failed to keep the emotion out of his voice. “You’ll risk your job for this, but would you risk going to prison? Because that is where you’re heading if you pull another of your stunts. And what if we find Liisa then? You’re no good to her inside.”
He had a point. Elea couldn’t help her daughter from behind bars. But if she did nothing, then nothing was what she was going to get. She drained her mug and placed it on his desk. “Well, if that’s all.”
“Not quite.” Swan gestured through his office window and waved at someone to come in. “There’s one condition of you staying on this team, and it’s non-negotiable. And before you go running to the super, this comes from her.”
Conditions usually tied Elea’s hands, but judging by the colour rising in Swann’s face, this was not up for discussion.
Mitch Harding entered the room, more composed than the last time he had made an appearance. His shirt sleeves were folded to his elbows, and, unlike Swann, he wasn’t wearing a tie. But the cut of his clothes suggested that they weren’t bought from some cheap clothing outlet.
Swann stood, looking at Elea, his brows lowering in discontent. “You’re being partnered with Mitch. Wherever you go, he goes. Pull one more disappearing act and he’ll be giving you a ride to the airport.”
Elea blinked twice as she absorbed the news. “You’re kidding me, right?” Her voice was tinged with irritation. She didn’t want, or need, a chaperone.
“Not at all,” Swann looked at them both. “Mitch has been briefed, and I suggest you take the situation as graciously as he did.” Swann slid up his shirt sleeve and checked his watch. “I’ve got to be somewhere. Whatever’s happened before, draw a line under it, so you can get on with your jobs.”
Elea wanted to ask him who the hell he thought he was talking to, but Swann did not hang around for a reply. This would cut deep on both sides. She knew it would pain him to pair her up with someone she’d slept with less than twenty-four hours before.
“I don’t believe this.” She rounded on Mitch as the situation sank in. “Well? Say something!”
“If it helps, I know this case inside out. I’ve been studying it in my spare time.”
“Police detectives don’t have spare time,” Elea snorted.
“And I’m not having this.” She shook her head.
“Talking to me like I’m some sort of probationer.
I was his boss in Helsinki, did you know that?
No, I bet you didn’t . . .” Her voice descended into muttering as she uttered some Finnish swearwords.
It was just as well Mitch didn’t understand.
An amused smile rested on Mitch’s face. “Is the prospect of working with me that bad? I’ve not been long on the team, but I was an experienced uniformed officer and have more intel sources than anyone else in here.
I’m respected on the street.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Hell, I lived on them once.”
“You were homeless?” Now that, Elea hadn’t expected. She sighed, releasing her anger to ground herself once more.
“Yeah, that and everything that went along with it. It’s made me a better officer. I won’t do anything to jeopardise my job.”
Great, Elea thought, resting a hand on her hip. He’s not only green, but a stickler for the rules, too.
“About last night,” he began. “I don’t want things to be awkward.”
“Awkward?” Elea stared. “Why would it be awkward? It was just sex. As long as you don’t go blabbing, then I don’t see a problem with it.”
“No problem.” Mitch cleared his throat, but seemed unable to meet her gaze. “Well, um . . . I’d better get back to work. Do you want to join me?”
“Where’s your office? I hope it has more privacy than this fishbowl.”
“This is my office. Swann’s office is down the corridor.”
“Then why?”
“He’s not quite been able to let it go.” Mitch shrugged. “I’m fine working with the team for now.”
Elea shook her head in disbelief. It was exactly like Swann to want his cake and eat it.
“There’s a spare desk next to mine. We can set up there. It’s good to be in the thick of everything. That OK with you?”
The situation was far from ideal, but what choice did Elea have? She was tired of all the drama. “Three girls,” she replied. “Your team has failed three girls so far. So, yes, I want to join you, because we need to solve this shitting case before anyone else gets hurt.”