Chapter 16
Sixteen
Dirk
I went to my room to try to calm down, to soothe the beast that was riled up. I couldn’t be around others like this. I was too prone to lash out.
My clothes were soaked in sweat, from dinner and the anger working its way through me, so I stripped them off and turned the shower on. While the water ran cold, I looked at myself in the mirror, cataloging the maze of slowly healing wounds and the hideous mass of bruises that was my body.
They would fade soon, but for the time being I still looked horrible. I touched the back of my leg where the bone had punctured through, feeling the ridge of flesh that had been sewn back together to force it to heal.
That one would take days to fade.
I eyed my sides, my chest, my back, but other than the injuries, nothing was there. Caz had been right. I possessed no mate marks of my own. Not a single one. Yet Ella bore a full body worth of mine.
I had seen them as she fell away from me in the sky. Those moments where I hadn’t known if I could get to her in time or not were burned into my mind. As was the picture of her body, the right side covered in swirls and twisted markings that were as blue as my eyes.
So where were mine? I’d never heard of such a one-sided marking before.
The cold water puckered my skin, pulling it taut over the various wounds and scars. I grimaced away the momentary pain and leaned deeper into the showerhead, letting it drench my hair. The sting of the physical pain was something I could handle with ease.
It was the ache of knowing that deep down, I wanted to be with Ella, but I couldn’t. For her own sake. She’d clearly been hurt in her past, and the last thing I wanted to do was add to that.
So I wouldn’t. I would keep my distance from her, and the body covered in marks meant for me. I wouldn’t touch her. Wouldn’t caress her and taste her sweetness.
“Enough!” I barked at myself, shaking the distracting and desirable thoughts free as I shut off the water.
There could be, would be, nothing between Ella and me. I’d made that decision. It was done. No more moping about it and—
Knock. Knock.
I wrapped the towel around my waist and made my way to the door, my curiosity growing. Who would be knocking at my door? The options were limited, and the knock had sounded rather light to be Caz or one of the other men.
Anna, perhaps? What would have brought her here?
Was she coming to chew me out for not leaving Ella alone earlier?
I was in no mood for a lecture about things she didn’t understand. Anna might think Caz and I were alike, because we were brothers, but we weren’t. She knew him. Not me.
“What?” I growled, reaching for the handle.
“Uh, sorry.”
I twitched. That voice.
“Never mind,” Ella added through the door, her footsteps shuffling away.
“Wait!” I leapt for the door, yanking it open. “Sorry. That wasn’t for you.”
Ella froze as she looked at me, her eyes locking on to my face and not moving. Her throat bobbed up and down, the only sign she was still alive. The artery running up the side of her neck was practically pulsing with activity.
I drew in a slow breath against my better judgment.
I knew what I was going to smell, and when the bold warmth of amber flooded my system, I struggled to stay still.
Because there was more than I expected with her mate scent.
The sweetness of her arousal was a magnetic lure that stirred my dragon to life.
My lungs expanded as I sucked in as much of that deliciousness as I could, filling every inch. I never wanted to forget it.
Ella’s eyes flicked down my body and then back up to my face. A hint of pink touched her cheeks, descending down her neck and disappearing under the collar of her shirt. I wondered if I would ever get to see just how deeply she could blush.
“So many bruises,” she said, the throatiness of her voice combining with everything else to broadcast that the bruises weren’t her primary focal point.
All at once I remembered I was naked save for the towel, which was doing its very best to make it obvious how badly I wanted to throw myself at Ella. I could pin her against the wall, her tiny legs wrapping around my waist as I ravaged her sweet body until she couldn’t take it anymore.
Mate.
I struggled to hold back my fangs from descending as my dragon roared to life like an avalanche breaking free.
I only hoped I could do a better job of containing the beast this time.
If I tried to bite her now and make that claim, Caz would have no choice but to deal with me. Harshly. I had to get a grip.
“Better on me than on you,” I said, turning the words from a growl to a grunt.
“Yeah. Listen …”
Ella looked up and away, ripping her gaze free as I breathed heavily several times, trying to regain full control of myself.
I waited, but she didn’t continue, only shifted uncomfortably from side to side.
“Are you okay? Is something wrong?” I asked, trying to stifle the hope that maybe she had come to me for help with solving a problem.
I need to stay away from her, not get more involved. That isn’t safe for her.
“I-I’m okay,” she said, stopping and restarting before getting the words out. “I was just … um, I wanted to know if you could, uh, maybe, if I could take you up on that offer.”
She lost the battle and my dragon made pleased noises within my head as her brown eyes roamed over my body once more before she looked me in the eye.
“You want me to fly you back to the crash site?” I asked, speaking slowly through the astonishment.
Of all the things she could have come to me for, that was at the bottom of my list of expectations.
Still, I couldn’t hold back the excitement at the idea of us spending time together.
It wasn’t a good idea, but I wanted it nonetheless.
But I had to appear calm and not too eager. I couldn’t risk scaring her off.
She nodded.
“Uh, sure. Yeah. I can do that.” I thought about it. “We should probably go now, though.”
“Now?” Ella squeaked.
“Yes. We may not have the time we need in the morning. Caz is right. Getting back to the citadel has to be our priority. Things are happening, and he needs to be in the thick of it. He and Anna.”
“And you.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not political.”
“You’re the prince, though. The heir,” Ella pointed out, speaking more evenly as the subject changed to something neutral.
“Not for long, hopefully,” I told her. “Besides, I don’t want the throne.”
And I don’t deserve it, either.
“But that’s not the point,” I continued. “The point is we don’t know how long it might take you. If we leave in the morning, we’ll be under a time constraint. I don’t want you to feel rushed or limited. So we can go now.”
I didn’t want to think about how painful the shift was going to be, but I’d already planned on leaving earlier. If I could do it then, I could do it now with another few hours of healing and a big meal behind me.
“Okay,” she said, nodding tightly, her lower lip curling under. It was only a moment, just a split second, but the show of nerves was enough to drive me wild, to make me long to trail my mouth along her neck and taste her lips. I …
I blinked. When had we gotten so close? Had she stepped to me, or had I gone to her? The space between us had shrunk, and we were in one another’s orbit. All I would have to do now was reach out and touch her. She was a foot away. Less, even. One more step, and her body would be against mine.
What would it be like to have her against me, under me? To spread her legs with my knees and fill her pussy with my cock for the very first time? All I would have to do in that moment was reach out. Reach out and take her.
Then she would be mine, and I would be hers.
“This is a bad idea,” Ella whispered unsteadily, her pupils wide and body heat pouring across the tiny distance to reach me.
Her arousal was thick in the air, sticky sweet, begging for a taste.
“I know,” I growled, lowering my head to peer deep into her soul. My mate couldn’t hide from me. “But I know you feel it too.”
Our bodies swayed a hair closer. A finger’s span away.
Don’t do this. You can be strong.
My hand came up and caressed her cheek. Ella shuddered under my touch in the most erotic and sensual way. Her skin was as soft and tender as I’d imagined while stroking myself in the shower that morning.
The hallway around us continued to brighten as my dragon loomed large in my head, clamoring for the attention of its mate, of the dragon that was locked away somewhere inside Ella.
But no answer came. No glowing golden-brown richness of her eyes from her dragon. No more preening and no more warmth.
Instead, Ella stepped back, breaking contact.
“Control yourself, Dirk,” she said, her chest heaving as she forced herself to break the stare and look away. “Stop it right now.”
“Ella,” I rumbled possessively, surprising myself with the intensity contained within that one word.
“No, Dirk. I …”
I swayed closer, breaking her concentration.
“I, um,” she repeated, struggling to focus. Her eyes traveled down my shirtless body and then back up.
I smiled. “Ella.”
Her head twitched, and she stepped even further back, putting her hands up. “Dirk, I don’t want this.”
Darkness filled the hallway as my dragon jerked away at the verbal slap.
She didn’t want this. Didn’t want us.
The rejection was a harsh wind raking its icy fingers across my skin and my soul, yanking me out of the horny mate-infused daze that had taken control of me.
My mate didn’t want me.
Minutes ago, I had been telling myself I was no good for her. Yet under that I had known I still wanted her. I was just staying away for her sake, so she could lead a better life.
But now my mate had told me flat out she didn’t want me, and that cut deep, slicing through my scales like they weren’t even there.
“Of course,” I said flatly, all business. “What was I thinking. My apologies. If you still wish to go tonight, I will be out on the main landing field in several minutes. We will go to the crash site.”
Ella peered at me. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I replied in the same monotone, shoving everything deep down inside and burying it under a layer of impenetrable ice. “You will be safe, and I will make no further advances on you. You have my word.”