Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
Ella
I opened my eyes as wakefulness came, a smile on my face.
That’s weird.
I yawned, not truly ready to get up yet. I was too content, too rested. Apparently I had finally slept without a nightmare.
Maybe I just needed to fool around with Dirk every night before bed and I would sleep easy.
Smiling in not-so-secret enjoyment of the memories, I yawned once more and stretched.
Only my right hand came up. The left stayed where it was. Something was holding it in place.
Blinking fully awake, I realized it wasn’t something. It was someone. My fingers were threaded through someone’s hand, and they were holding fast.
I tugged hard.
Something stirred, and then Dirk’s head popped into view. And popping was the only way to describe it because he was completely hidden behind a wall of pillows and blankets.
“Dirk,” I said, keeping my calm as best I could, my hand still in his, despite my efforts. “Would you kindly explain what the heck is going on here, and why you’re in my bed?”
His eyes popped open, bright blue and alert.
“Uh,” he stammered, dropping my hand and leaping from bed.
He was still in clothes, I noted. A uniform, in fact, of the guard. He hadn’t been wearing that when he left. What was going on?
“I’m sorry.” He shook himself, backing to the door. “I meant to get up and leave before you rose.”
I sat up, clutching the sheets to me. “Why were you in here at all?” I questioned, clothing and pillows from the makeshift barrier falling away.
Dirk ran a hand over his head, tugging his hair back out of his face. “Well, you were having a nightmare, and I was standing guard outside …”
Standing guard? I knew he wasn’t on duty. He’d said as much the night before. Had he taken over?
To protect me?
“You started crying out in your sleep,” Dirk explained. “I couldn’t stop it. My dragon had to be here with you. Then when I did come in, and touched you, your skin, I mean, not like that.”
Eyebrows raised, I urged him to move on.
“I put a hand on your shoulder, and you just sort of calmed down. You looked so peaceful.”
I thought back to waking up just moments ago. It had been peaceful. As if I hadn’t had a nightmare. Excepting according to Dirk, I’d been so deep into one he’d heard me through two doors and come rushing in.
And somehow he’d fought the nightmare off, just by touching me.
“I don’t understand. How?”
He shrugged. “I think it might be the mate bond. I know Anna has used it to calm Caz in the past when he gets angry, and he was doing the same right before she went into heat. So ours must work on nightmares.”
“And this giant wall of stuff?” I asked, accepting his explanation. “How does that figure in?”
Dirk looked away. I stared in shock. Was he blushing?
“You didn’t exactly give me permission to be in here, Ella. So I knew you wouldn’t want to wake up to being spooned, though the orb knows how much easier that would have been.”
“So you put a barrier in the way?”
“I was focused on staying in touch with you,” he justified. “Without invading your body space. I couldn’t think of anything else, and I wasn’t going to let you suffer any more. It’s confusing, and stupid, I know, but it was late, and I was tired and concerned. Not my best work.”
I leaned forward and gestured for him to step closer. Then I took his hand.
“Actually, I don’t think it’s any of those things,” I said, kissing the back of his palm before resting my head on it. “It sounds sweet. In a weird way, but I can tell you meant well, and I do feel very rested. More than I have in a long time. So I think you’re right. The bond did do something.”
Dirk jerked his head up and down, clearly still conflicted about it all.
I tugged until he sat on the bed next to me. “Dirk. You had your hand down my panties last night, fingering me until I had several orgasms. Then I gave them to you to jerk off into. I think I can handle this, whatever it is.” I pushed against the wall of clothing.
I smiled as I did it, realizing I was telling the truth, not just trying to make him feel better. I meant it. I not only could handle being near him. I was starting to want it.
“So you’re not mad at me?”
His face was lined with pent-up nerves to the point I lost my composure.
“By all rights, I should be. I should be furious and kicking you out. But I guess I’m crazy because I’m not. I mean it. It was kind of cute. You built this entire barrier and held my hand all night so I could sleep and somehow didn’t wake me.”
“It took a bit,” he admitted. “I couldn’t let go of you for more than a few seconds at a time without you making some really unpleasant noises.”
I listened, my hand in his, my eyes on the barrier. To him it might be clothes and pillows and an hour or so of his time to build, but to me it was much, much more.
It was a symbol of respect.
“You know, Dirk, back when I told you I would need to be wooed, as you put it, and shown that you were different, I didn’t really know what I wanted or what to expect. I also didn’t think you would take it as seriously as you have.”
He smiled, and again that tinge of color darkened his cheeks ever so slightly.
“I also didn’t realize I’d start to fall quite so hard for you,” I whispered, the only way I was able to get the words out.
Dirk’s eyes were riveted on me, making it hard to speak, but I kept going.
“But you’ve been everything I wanted and everything I needed, which might be more important.
You seem to understand me better than I do myself sometimes. ”
“I try.”
“I know,” I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes, a smile tugging at my lips. My stomach was churning, but I was floating through the cloud as I finally admitted things out loud to him. “I think I’m falling for you.”
Dirk’s face was ready to explode. But he fought it down, staying composed.
“I will do whatever it takes to keep being the mate you want and need,” he said solemnly. “No matter how long you need, I will be here. For you. Until the end of our days and we fly out across the Great Abyss. I am yours, Ella. Forever.”