Chapter 19Harbor
Chapter 19
HARBOR
I 'm glad I don't live far from campus.
Father called Kane and me home. Well, he called Kane. Kane had to tell me that we needed to go home for the weekend. As I said goodbye to Talon, the pull from within me to stay close to my mate nearly broke me. He and I had a chat when I got the message home again, and we both felt it wasn't the right time. Something was wrong at home, so we decided to delay telling my father I found a mate until it could be a celebratory occasion.
That didn't make leaving him any easier, especially with the amount of time we've been spending together. Talon has become someone who can anticipate what I require, and I've begun to wonder if he inherited a few of his mother's mystic qualities, too.
As Kane and I travel about an hour to my father's home, I take the time to get to know him a little better.
“I hope our display the other day wasn't too cruel,” I say. “I was really upset, but I don't always believe in retribution. I just wanted you to know that someone taking liberties with your personal feelings isn't right.”
“Kaia,” he says, glancing over as he drives, “you did nothing wrong. It was me; I did that, and I agreed to be punished for what I did. Honestly, I'm not sure if it was a 'punishment' in the sense of the word, but I did realize what I did was wrong, and I feel like I can kind of understand how it felt. It's different because I consented to the punishment, but I now know that someone taking that choice away isn't okay.”
I remain quiet, but it's for conflicting reasons. I still am drawn to him, but I'm waiting to give him consent after he bypassed it last time.
“I did have a question for you,” he says. “I noticed you had a tattoo back when I met you on the beach at your dad’s house. I, um, got a better look at it the other day, but I still couldn’t tell what it was. I was a little distracted,” he says, a smirk spreading his plump lips.
“Yeah, I got that recently,” I murmur. “I felt a water phoenix was sort of symbolic for my life. Rebirth beneath the waves, you know?” He nods, his smirk falling into a comfortable smile.
“So,” I say, deciding to expand on consent, “I've learned to trust you since that day. You wanted to touch me, but you refrained. I appreciate you being true to your word.” I take a breath, hoping this doesn't backfire. “I'm close to offering my consent to you, but I'm thinking my father's house isn't the best place.”
It takes him a moment before he responds. “I can see your reasoning. I appreciate your confidence in me, and I won't go against your wishes. You are worth the wait, Kaia.”
I smile at him, acknowledging his words, but I don't know how to respond. Kane has always been so intense, saying things similar to what I've heard Talon say. But Talon is my fated mate. I feel bad when he talks like this, because I don't want to lead him on. I also feel guilty that I haven't stopped his words, for Talon's sake, as the one I'm bonded to.
As we pull up to my dad's house, I have no words. We exit the car and walk up to the door. I turn, wanting to say something. I'm just unsure of what to say.
“Kane,” I start slowly, “I have really enjoyed spending time with you lately. I'm getting to know you, and I appreciate your willingness to refrain from any behaviors here, but I just have to say that sometimes your words are overwhelming. I appreciate them, but you also make me feel precious in those moments. While that is a delightful feeling, I worry that you are putting too much value on me, lifting me to a pedestal I don't deserve. I guess I'm only asking that you slow down on the words of praise and honor.”
The hardest part of asking for that is watching the light fade in his sapphire eyes. “Alright, Kaia, but I'm not going to stop calling you that. That is who you are to me.”
I smirk, understanding the need for a nickname. “Thank you. I appreciate your efforts to make me feel more comfortable as we continue to experiment. So,” I say, opening the door. “I'll see you at dinner?”
“Of course. I'm going to go check in with your dad.”
“Alright, I'll see you then.”
Dinner turned out to be completely awkward. Dad was studious, constantly staring at Isabella. She seemed despondent, worried about something, or otherwise distracted. Kane even seemed in a worse mood than when we arrived a few short hours ago.
We all sat down, and as the plates were served, no one spoke in the room. I could hear the clattering of the silver serving trays as the servants bustled throughout the room. The aromas of the food were potent, but none instigated my appetite. I'd lost it altogether.
I nibbled at the soft bread rolls, unsure if I could even eat with the anxiety shaking my soul in my chest. Father signaled a servant, who quickly approached with a bottle of wine. He offered my father the first taste, and when Father approved, the servant began to circle the table, pouring a glass for each of us.
Once the servant had completed his task, I clear my throat, attempting to find my voice. “Um, good evening, Isabella,” I say. “I missed seeing you when we arrived this afternoon.”
“Oh, hi, dear,” Isabella says softly. “I'm sorry I wasn't here; I was still over with my dear friend Stacy. She hasn't been well ever since her daughter's passing. I'm beginning to wonder if there is anything a healer can do to ease her grief. It's been weeks, nearly months, since poor Bethany left this world, and I know everyone handles grief differently, but Stacy continues to struggle.”
“I'm so sorry to hear this,” I murmur. “Bethany was one of the best people I've ever known, and I continue to try to live each day in my own grief. The hole in my heart that she left is slowly healing, though. I am so sorry she's struggling so much. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.”
“I will,” Isabella says as she brings her napkin to the corner of her eye. “I appreciate your caring for my friend. I know Bethany was a sweet girl, and I realize how close she was to you, so knowing you feel for her family enough to offer to help is very generous.”
Father chooses that moment to clear his throat and essentially change the subject. “Kane, son, how is the combat training going?”
“Very well, sir,” Kane says. “We have our last competition in just a few weeks, so I'm trying to take every opportunity to get the last minute exercises in. I should do quite well, considering I've been putting in a lot of focus on my studies this term.”
“That's excellent to hear. And you, Harbor? Are you keeping up with your grades?”
“Yes, Father. I'm doing very well. My professors are pleased with my progress, considering I didn't finish my schooling here in Naesala.”
“Ah, yes,” Father says, grumbling something under his breath as he takes a sip of his wine.
“And you, Father? How are you doing? I didn't get to check in with you the last time I was home.”
“Ah, doing just fine,” he says, brushing me off.
“Are you busy working on anything in particular?” I ask, hoping to build this conversation into something more comfortable.
“Yes, actually,” Father says. “We have quite a few projects that are ongoing at the moment. One commercial order that we are working on, plus two other private research projects that I'm overseeing.” He sets down his fork and brings his napkin to his mouth before continuing. “It's all extremely boring, so I won't go into details. I've just been very distracted lately. I appreciate you coming home, Kane,” he says, turning to look at the man across from me.
“Of course,” Kane says, raising his glass. “I'm always willing to help.”
“Your mother and I are thankful you could join us. She really needed a distraction.”
“Yes,” Isabella chimes in. “I'm so very happy to see you both.”
I just smile and nod, unsure of what to say. My appetite seems to have run away, as a headache begins to pound behind my eyes. I take a sip of my wine, hoping it was just a bad flavor that caused the weird reaction. The others continue to talk while I manage to pick at my food for another ten minutes before I give up, excusing myself.
“I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well. I think I'm going to just go lie down and see if I can get this headache to pass.”
“Oh, no,” Isabella's sympathetic words carry to me in waves. “If you don't feel better soon, please let me know. We'll contact the healers on call.”
“Okay,” I say, slowly rising. “Goodnight.”
I manage to shield my eyes from the bright lights as I make my way down the stairs. By the time I reach my room, I'm ready to kick off my shoes and crawl into bed. Knowing I'm likely going to fall asleep, I manage to change my clothes and brush my teeth before passing out in pain.
I wake early the next morning, head still pounding, but now my stomach is in knots. The suns haven't risen yet, so I know no one else is awake, except maybe Father. I roll over in bed when the first wave of nausea crashes through me. The hot taste in my mouth spurs me to run to my bathroom, barely making it before my body revolts. It takes several heaves to rid my body of the convulsions, but finally I'm able to rinse out my mouth and stumble back to bed.
When I wake again, the suns are high in the sky. It's nearly midday, if not after, but at least whatever attacked me overnight has passed. That did happen, right? I didn't dream of being sick... No, I distinctly remember leaving the dining room early and stumbling downstairs to bed. Sitting up, I realize my body seems to have fully recovered. My stomach grumbles, alerting me to the fact I didn't eat much for dinner last night, so I decide to make plans to grab lunch and then hit the beach for the afternoon.
After changing into a swimsuit and cover up, and grabbing a towel, I make my way upstairs. As I enter the kitchen, I see Father finishing up his own lunch.
“Ah, she emerges,” he snarks. “I never thought you'd be the typical adolescent, sleeping the day away.”
His barb lands, though, more because he's choosing to be judgmental. He has interacted with me on maybe a handful of occasions since I've returned to Naesala, so his attitude shows me that maybe he's not fully over Mom taking me away.
“Hello, Father,” I say, moving through the kitchen to prepare a light meal. “I was ill this morning, up before dawn. Whatever it was seems to have passed with rest, though. Thanks for your concern.”
“Ah, I, um, I'm sorry,” he says, stumbling through his words. “I didn't realize you were ill.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I'm not used to having to manage my home and work responsibilities. Isabella left early again this morning to be with Stacy, and I've had to fend off questions from her assistant all morning. I apologize for being rude.”
“I see,” I say with little sympathy. I turn my back to him, preparing my lunch with an eye roll.
“Well,” he says, standing and depositing his plate in the sink, “I'm back to work. My employees are finishing that commercial contract, and the testing from one of the private projects is coming back, and I need to review the results. Have a good day.”
I watch as he walks off, the man who has always been aloof in my presence. Sitting down to eat my lunch, I consider if there was anything in my life I could have done. I've always been relatively well-behaved, so I can't think of what he would be holding against me. I determine whatever problem he has is not my fault, and decide to move on with my life. I'll have to introduce Talon next time, and if he doesn't like my fated mate, then that isn't something I can fix, and I'll know our future.
It doesn't take me long to finish my lunch and to head out to the beach. I drop my towel and cover up in the sand before I wade out into the water. The moment the sea brushes against my legs, I feel the call to shift. It's that familiar sense of being near home, recognizing your surroundings but yet not fitting in just the same. I decide to wade out deeper, allowing the water to call my syren up. When I'm chest deep in the water, I untie my swimsuit bottoms, allowing my tail to shift, emerging in the water.
Having my tail and fins for the first time in months is like finally being able to take a deep breath when restricted for so long. My fluke twists and flicks within the water, and I itch to dive to the cold depths of the ocean. I quickly tie my swimsuit around my waist, having learned this hack early in my transition to my powers.
Swimsuit secured, I spin, diving deep and using my powerful tail to propel me through the water. The ocean is so clear compared to the lakes and ponds of Terranea's campus. I feel like this is my home, and that all the creatures here in the open waters accept me for who I am. It's a different sensation than my mate accepting me. He is complementary in my life, and I know that he will always be one to be by my side and support me. The ocean, though; it's like I was born to be here. It's an innate sense of belonging.
Swimming deep, I find a pod of Vizcayan porpoises playing in the warm waters. These social animals are often found in the colder waters to the south, but they are known to travel and explore. I wave some water in their direction, spinning around in an effort to get them to swim with me. It doesn't take but a moment for their friendly nature to turn them in my direction. I giggle as they swirl around me, and I take off through the current, ensuring they are following.
We play for quite a while, and they are still ready to chase when I wave them off. They ran me around the ocean for most of the afternoon, and the sunslight from the surface is beginning to dim. I'm starting to get hungry again, too, so I know I'll need to head back up to the house to shower.
Before I head back, I swim down to the reef. Reef life always fascinated me, and I can't help but indulge in a favorite pastime. Watching the anemones sway in the current, I turn my head, staring out into the open waters. Mom always took me out to the open ocean, teaching me about the wildlife I never knew about. I can't help but wonder if Mom could ever come back.
Not letting my morose thoughts take over, I decide to have one last indulgence. I surge up, needing to feel the warm breeze and sunslight on my scales. I breach the surface, jumping in an arc in the open air. As I dive back into the water, I turn toward the bluffs in the distance. I can barely make out Father's house at the top of the cliffs, so I know it will take a little while to swim back to shore.
As I approach the cove, I see someone wading out into the water. I slow my approach, but it isn't long until I realize it is Kane. “Taking an afternoon swim?” I ask, swimming around him in a circle. He stares down, watching as my tail trails behind me.
“Yeah,” he says. “I was going to swim in the pool, but then I saw your towel down here. I thought I'd join you.” He doesn't say anything for a bit, so I swim around to face him, treading water.
We share a grin before his eyes dip down into the water. “Your tail is beautiful.”
I never thought about it, but I can imagine the light blue and bright aqua scales are probably pretty to those who don't see them often. I look down, flicking my tail out to the side. It's then I notice that the color pattern in my tail has shifted. Along with the light blue and bright aqua scales, a bolder blue has appeared toward the top of each scale. It's providing a more impressive color pattern than I remember from the short few weeks when I last shifted.
“What's wrong?” Kane asks, noting the concern on my face.
“Nothing,” I say. “I just thought I noticed something different. All is well.”
“Alright. Are you almost ready to head in?”
“Yeah,” I say, swimming around him. “I'm going further up the shore, so I can reach the bottom when I shift back.”
“I'll meet you up there,” he calls.
Pumping my tail three times allows me to coast closer to the beach. I untie my swimsuit, and retie it properly just as Kane approaches the beach as well.
We both walk up, and I grab my towel to wrap around myself before plopping into the sand to rest. I'm staring out at the horizon, watching the suns set into the night, when Kane sinks to the sand beside me.
“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks, not turning to look at me.
“I've been thinking more and more about what's to come, despite my apprehension. For some reason, life just seems to keep going, whether I want it to or not.”
“I get that,” he says, a low huff of a laugh escaping his chest. “I just think that despite our best efforts, life will serve us what it will.”
“Yeah,” I say, allowing my voice to drift with the tide. “I guess I'm not willing to allow someone to just force me to live a life that isn't my choosing. I'm not willing to just give up when I know that I have so much to offer this world we live in.” I stand, smiling down at Kane. “You know I'll never let fate force me to do something I don't want to do.”
He looks up at me, smiling, before he joins me on his feet. “You're right. You're too strong of a person to let life push you into something you don't want. You are one of the best examples of a person I’ve ever met. I know that you have a mate, but something about you draws me in. Maybe it’s your syren, but I think I’d know, with my own abilities.”
“I don't want to pressure you,” he continues, “so please just tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable. I just can't resist spending time with you.”
“Kane,” I say, reaching up to cup his cheek with my hand. “You are the sweetest person. I feel safe with you; I just need to grow used to the idea that we are allowed to experiment. I appreciate your patience with me, and not trying to pressure me. I understand your interest in me, and even though I have a mate, I still want to pursue this. I just have to proceed at my own pace.”
I glance up at the house, noting no one at the railing to see us down on the beach. It's at that point, I decide I want to be bold. I want this. Stepping up to Kane, I lean in and pull him in to me. When his lips meet mine, fire flows through my body, heating me from the chilly breeze blowing in off the water. Before I can let it get out of control, though, I pull back.
“Soon,” I tell him, my breath ghosting over his lips. I release him, slowly backing away to climb the cliff stairs. “Soon we'll have the chance to see where we can guide our future. It looks bright, from where I'm standing.”