26. Lorcan
LORCAN
The gardens swallowed her in shadows, the crunch of her footsteps faint over the damp earth.
I trailed close behind her, each stride measured, each breath controlled, savoring the tension strung between us like wire ready to snap.
“Grayyyy…” I called after her.
Her uneven pace faltered, and it sent a pulse of cruel amusement through me.
Run faster, Gray. I want to hear you gasp when I catch you.
My hands itched like they already held her wrists, pinning her down, owning her fear.
But when she vanished into the labyrinth of hedges, the humor drained from me, leaving a coil of tension twisting hard in my gut. My chest tightened as my gaze searched the shadows for her and failed to find her, the game souring.
A scream tore through the night, high, female, and jagged.
My body snapped to it, instincts flooding like fire. I began to run toward it, branches whipping at my arms until I burst into the clearing by the lake’s edge.
Aoife stood at the bank, arms folded, watching the water with a satisfied expression. Her two friends flanked her, one of them chanting under her breath like a rhyme. “Bride for the lake. Bride for the lake.”
My eyes locked on the shimmer in the black water, to the silver and purple fabric, like a drowning lotus flower, to the pale limbs sinking like driftwood. And the silver mask floating away.
Horror gripped me, savage and absolute.
I didn’t think. I just moved. I ripped off my boots, tore away the mask, and dove into the dark lake. The shock of the water slammed over me, ice carving my skin as I plunged through reeds and slime toward her.
Her eyes were closed, her body unmoving, her hair floating about her pale face like she was already a ghost.
Her limbs had tangled into the weeds, a weight dragging her to hell. My muscles burned as I clawed through the tangles, tearing her free, lungs screaming as I hauled her upward.
We broke the surface, her weight dead against me. My lungs heaved fire as I dragged her to shore and lay her on the grass.
Water poured from her hair, her body slack in my arms, a broken doll cast from the tide. Her lips were blue, skin pale and clammy as porcelain left in the frost.
My fingers trembled as I pressed them to her throat.
She had a pulse. But it was barely there.
I lowered my cheek to her mouth, praying for that brush of air.
Nothing. No breath.
Fuck. My chest locked, vision tunneling, rage bleeding into panic.
“Don’t you dare die on me, Gray.”
I pinched her nose and pressed my mouth to hers, breathing into her lungs. Over and over, each breath was a command. Live. Each pause, a plea.
Breathe, Gray. Fucking breathe.
Her chest jerked and she coughed, the most beautiful sound in the world. Water gushed from her lips, her eyes fluttered, and relief slammed into me as I rolled her to her side facing me.
I pressed my wet forehead down to hers, my breath rattling as I whispered, “Don’t do that again.”
She’s making you weak. My father’s voice moved through me without warning, the particular tone he used when he was not yet disappointed, merely observing.
The shame rose, hot and choking. I shoved it down. It didn’t go.
The truth burned just as vicious. Saving her hadn’t freed me. It had shackled me tighter to her.
A cold rage cracked through me as I turned to Aoife.
She had the good sense to step back, but not enough sense to stop talking. “It was just a joke.”
I looked at her for a long moment, then vowed, “I will make it so that not a single Ravenwood male ever so much as looks at you again.”
Her face blanched. “It was a joke,” she said again, quieter.
“So is your entire personality.” I turned to her cowering friends. “Get her the fuck out of my sight.”
They dragged Aoife away.
I gathered her into my arms like a bride, fury and fear pounding my veins as I strode along the water’s edge back toward the manor rather than going back through that goddamn maze.
I broke through the partygoers circled around the bonfire, my focus locked on the looming manor beyond.
“Party’s over.” My voice echoed through the gardens, over the crackle of the fire and the music. “Get the fuck out of my house!”
At the edge of my awareness, Breezy and Rafe exchanged grim looks, then jumped in, ushering the drunk stragglers away. “You heard him. Fuck off, lads.”
The bonfire hissed and spluttered behind me as someone doused it with water.
I carried her inside, up a side staircase, and down the hallway.
“Doctor. Now,” I snapped at Mervyn who disappeared at once.
I went straight past Rua’s room. Instead, I stormed into my own bedroom and laid her across the couch, her soaked hair bleeding water into the cushions.
Her sodden dress clung to her, her skin trembling and goose pimpled. I had to get her dry and warm.
I stripped the ruined dress away, hands moving fast and mechanical, keeping my eyes on the work instead of her naked body laid out for me.
It didn’t help. My body registered every inch, every enticing curve, regardless, and the shame of it coiled hot in my gut.
I dried her and wrapped her in blankets, moving faster than I needed to. It didn’t help. Even after I’d covered her, all I seemed to see was the sight of her naked.
When she was warm and dry, no longer a drowned ghost, I laid her in my bed.
Mervyn returned with the family doctor who blinked at me, expecting me to be the patient.
“Not me,” I snapped. “Her.”
Mervyn wordlessly began to light my fireplace.
The doctor took his time, his hands trembling as he examined her, each breathless second stretching unbearably long. It felt like forever, each moment winding my bones into tight coils.
I snapped at Mervyn as he handed me a thick robe, only then realizing I was still in my wet clothes. I changed right there, not caring that I wasn’t alone.
I was not leaving this room. I was not leaving her.
Finally, the doctor straightened, “She’ll be fine. She just needs rest and fluids.”
When he turned to leave, I grabbed his arm, my voice low and sharp. “Not a word.”
He nodded, cowed, then hurried out.
Mervyn looked at me for exactly one second longer than he needed to, his unblinking stare cataloging me before he withdrew.
Alone, I sat by her side for God knows how long, staring at her like a man unmoored. Long enough that the heat from the fire dried my hair.
I didn’t dare sleep. Didn’t dare move. Just in case.
Her body began to tremble, tortured moans breaking from her lips, as a nightmare grasped her in its clutches.
I scooted forward in my chair. “Gray… it’s okay. I’m here.”
Her eyes opened, finding me through whatever she was still fighting. “Lorcan.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t move. I just stayed exactly where I was, closer than I should have been, which was the only place I could stand to be.