Chapter 29 #2
“What you did today was dangerous and cruel!” I snapped at him, forgetting all about my rank. Fera from Brinnea’s rank, rather. His eyes narrowed at me, and I waited.
“Thanks, Val,” he called over my shoulder before she left me alone with him. He nodded at the bandage on my arm. “Did Abram take care of that wound for you?”
“I’m fine.” I clenched my fists at my sides. Mina had cleaned and bandaged it for me after my shower, but that was none of his business. “You’re lucky no one died today, Commander.”
“Am I?” He picked lint off his sleeve. “By whose judgment am I… lucky ?”
I bit back the urge to spew out my title. “Someone who cares ,” I retorted. “Right now, I’m not sure I can say that you do .” I wanted to keep my emotions close to my chest around him, but I let my disappointment bleed out. “As our leader, I wish I could.”
“Is that how little you think of me?” Elias rubbed his chin and studied me. “That I would feed my inexperienced cadets to deadly, famished monsters?”
I threw my arms up. “That’s exactly what you did!”
“And what about when they’re sent out on missions, in the wild? They must know how to handle themselves. Besides, those beasts were chained, Fera.”
“Barely!” I snapped. “You?—”
“That is enough , Cadet!” His voice rose and sharpened to a level of dominant authority I didn’t expect out of him.
The grating scrape of his chair flying backward made me wince as he surged out of his seat.
Instinct compelled me to shrink back, as he glared down at me, his face tight with fury.
“Know your station and mind your tone or I will toss you outside of these gates without a second thought. And say a prayer that you don’t hit the spikes on the way out!
” His chest rose and fell with a controlled sigh. “And that is not what I want, Fera.”
We glared in silent war with one another. I didn’t want to be the one to back down, but unless today was the day I chose to reveal that his queen was alive, it needed to be me.
Questionable extracurriculars aside, Elias was smart and capable, meticulous, and, other than today, responsible in the ways that would protect our people.
I could give him that. As queen, I would need to trust him, and it would be easier if I learned to do so now.
Not to give him a chance—as my commander, at least —didn’t feel fair to either of us.
I nodded and took one step back, signaling submission.
“They were chained ,” Elias began again, slow and deliberate, “and at the very end of that chain was a mechanism that, if pulled, would inject a lethal toxin into their spinal cords, paralyzing them and killing them in less than a second.”
The epiphany sent cooling relief through my heated veins. “You were never going to let them kill us.”
“No,” he sighed. “But none of you knew that. You took yours out the fastest. Alone .”
And I could have done it even faster. I could have used Soltum’s power to order that beast to lay down, stop breathing, and die, and I think it would have done it. I’d definitely considered it.
“Three of the groups took quite a bit longer to kill their monster.” Elias sat back down. “The fifth beast had to be terminated, after a few close calls.”
He motioned to the chair across from him, but I didn’t move. Standing felt stronger and safer, so I stayed standing even though I already made a fool of myself by challenging him once today.
Instead of barking out a command that I sit, he rolled his eyes and pressed on.
“We are four weeks into Commencement, and a third of these cadets had no intention of ever becoming fighters. Death is a likely reality. For some of them, eventually, death is a guarantee. I’m relieved that three of the four other teams succeeded at all.
” He scanned my casually dressed form, and I immediately felt too exposed. “But I’m beyond impressed… with you .”
Perhaps I had embarrassed myself by barging in here, fire blazing. Shame twisted like a prickly barb behind my sternum.
“Well, thank you.” It was an effort not to hug myself and fidget with my elbow, but I refused to retreat into insecurity. “Though you let that beast come pretty close to killing me.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I wanted to see if you would bite it.”
I snorted unexpectedly and immediately regretted it. I didn’t like how he smiled back, like he was pleased he made me laugh. Clearing my throat, I asked, “Did you summon me just to tell me this?”
“No.” Elias leaned back in his chair. “I summoned you because I’m not sure what to do with you anymore.”
I tried to relax, but the nagging sensation that always made me feel off in his presence made my breath catch in my chest. Elias was far from perfect in character, but I wanted to trust him. Like him, even. My instinct still wasn’t letting me.
“Sounds like quite the predicament,” I replied.
He tapped his fingers on his desk, studying me with a smirk. “Will you allow me to suspend my pride without holding it over me later?”
I forced a wry grin. “I make no promises.”
A loose chuckle. “You’re incredibly quick,” he said.
“Quicker than I’ve seen lately in a fighter besides myself, much less a twenty-year-old woman.
This gives you an advantage over brute strength, as you proved upon your arrival.
Clearly, you’re smart, or else you wouldn’t have weaseled your way in here.
I’m reluctant to admit it, but I could use your help sooner rather than later.
” Elias leaned forward and folded his hands on his desk.
“Since news of the queen’s death, courage and motivation among my people are lacking, and I need someone quick, smart, and fearless. ”
I failed to suppress the surprised lift of my brow. Wasn’t this what I wanted? His approval? Half of me wanted to vomit from the nerves while the other half of me was ready to leap for joy at my own success.
“You’ll continue with Commencement and training.
When called upon, you’ll integrate with the small group of seasoned soldiers I have stationed here.
Their primary purpose is to protect the trainees, but they’ve been assisting me outside fortress walls with various missions.
You’ll become acquainted with the group, and there’s one task I’m going to need you for. ”
“Which is?” I asked a little too eagerly.
“There’s a briefing tomorrow morning just before sunrise. Four buildings east of the mess hall. Don’t be late.” He twirled his pen in his fingers, then used it to point at the door. “By the sight of that bandaging hack job, you need to have Abram look at that wound on your arm.”
I scowled. My bandage was perfectly fine. Mina was learning quickly. But his words were a dismissal, so I turned to go.
“And Fera?” he called as I gripped the doorknob. When I looked back, his eyes were rich with admiration. Maybe even a little respect. “Well done.”
I couldn’t wipe the smile of victory off my face, even though I didn’t want him to feel satisfied in being the reason for my joy.
I couldn’t bring myself to leave quite yet, either, because I had been waiting for a good moment to bring up the note on the enchanted tome in Peradine, and I realized now might be my best chance. He was in a good mood, after all.
“Is there something else, Fera?” Elias questioned my hesitation.
Turning back around, I admitted, “I have… a suggestion. It’s just something I found.
The other day, I was skimming through some books and found a note about the Duke of Peradine’s library.
Something about an enchanted tome that contains information about what’s across the Brinnean Sea.
It looked like the book hadn’t been opened in decades, so it might be a dead end at this point, but I thought?—”
“Why are you asking about the Duke of Peradine, Fera?” he sighed annoyedly. “And magic? That’s quite far out of your realm of understanding.”
My pulse sped up, anger rising at his condescension. “What’s wrong with the Duke of Peradine?”
He grimaced. “He rules a peaceful city. He’s been on decent terms with us for years. He’s certainly good for some things, but he’s not the most dependable ally.”
Given what little I did know about Peradine—that it was a city with lots of sex—I tried not to think about what some things meant.
“Well,” I began, “I thought maybe you might want to send someone there to see if the book is important, or even if it’s still there. If it’s magic, it could be useful against Molochai. For Simeon Whitlock to use, maybe. Without the queen, we need all the magic we can get.”
Elias folded his hands on his desk. “I thought we were past you telling me how to do my job today.”
I reared back.
A slow, assessing nod, then he waved me away. “I’ve already told you how you can help. I’ll see you at the morning briefing.”
Wishing I’d just kept the thought to myself, I rushed out of the room, unable to get away from him fast enough. How foolish of me to think he might consider my idea, without a crown on the head it came from.