Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
ARYELLA
Breathing the same air as you is a privilege. Touching you, kissing you… that’s as divine a blessing as the gods can give.
—EXCERPT FROM THE BUTCHER OF NYRIDA’S LAST KNOWN LETTERS TO QUEEN ARYELLA I
The morning after the second test, Mavic shook me awake, looking ready to punch someone, while Mina had tears in her eyes. I must have been shouting, crying, or thrashing in my sleep. I sat up and steadied myself, bare feet on the ground.
“Oh, gods!” Mina pointed at my neck. “What is that?”
I rushed to the mirror beside the bathroom door to find my neck covered in fresh bruises. They really did resemble fingerprints. I swallowed the lump in my throat and rolled my shoulders to test any lingering pain.
“It’s my nightmares,” I told them.
They stared at each other in disbelief. “I don’t think?—”
“I’m fine,” I interrupted Mavic, unwilling to acknowledge what I already suspected was true. That whoever that beast called she was reaching me in my dreams. I didn’t want to lie, but there was only one person I wanted to tell, and he wasn’t here. “I’ve hurt myself before in my dreams.”
I had scratched up my own neck during a night terror in Warrich. I’d hurt Gavin’s hands, too, when he’d pulled me out of it.
Come back to me, Aryella.
My chest ached at the tender memory.
“Is it because of something that happened in Brinnea?” Mina asked apprehensively.
“No.” Those nightmares had been replaced with whatever this was.
Through the window, I saw the sun starting to rise. “Damn it!” I leapt to my feet and changed into my leathers. “I was supposed to be at a meeting before sunrise.”
Mavic released a low whistle. “He won’t like that.”
“No shit, Mav,” Mina whispered.
I laughed, despite the circumstances, then dressed with alarming speed. “I can handle him. I’ll see you later,” I called over my shoulder as I ran out of the door and through the courtyard.
The curtains were open in the fourth building east of the mess hall. From the outside, all I could see were thick sets of shoulders and men’s heads with short hair sitting around a table.
“Of course, the one morning I sleep past sunrise,” I grumbled, knocking four times, straightening my shoulders and refusing to let nerves paralyze me.
A man with light hair and sharp features opened the door, and I recognized him immediately as one of Alec Gerard’s cronies, Micah Sharpe.
He was so tall and broad that I couldn’t see past him into the meeting room.
He slowly dragged his icy blue eyes along my body.
I cocked my head and my hip, silently questioning what he found so interesting.
“Let her in, Sharpe,” Elias called from inside.
He let me pass. I entered to find eight men, in addition to Elias, sitting around the table. A few faces were new to me. They all looked to be in their late twenties or early thirties. Valda leaned against the wall behind her commander. She was the only other woman.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Commander.” I cleared my throat and ignored the sweat beading on my neck. The room was stuffy, I had a lingering urge to vomit, and whatever pain in my chest that had distracted me during yesterday’s test still lingered.
Elias’s eyes narrowed, then slid to my neck. I’d forgotten to camouflage or cover up the bruises. By his shock, I guessed he saw it all.
Mercifully, he schooled his expression to appear bored. “Take a seat, Fera,” he ordered before giving one of the men a single nod. “Proceed, Pendrick.”
Pendrick gave me a distrusting glare. “Commander, this is sensitive?—”
“I said proceed .”
Reluctantly, Pendrick briefed the room on the status of troops along the southern border between Wymara and Tugaf.
Last winter, a few bands of Insidions had gotten through—like the ones we had encountered west of Brinnea—but our forces had pushed them back south and were now holding at the border, which was especially strong here in the west.
The ball for Reverie was a few days from now. The third test was in two weeks. The consensus by the end of the meeting was that if nothing drastic occurred, the eight men in the room were to continue monitoring the path to the Caves, escort any messengers, and report any suspicious activity.
Once the meeting was over, everyone filed out. I stood against the wall to let them pass before turning to leave.
“A moment, Fera,” called Elias, stopping me.
I winced and bit back words of protest. If I didn’t comply, he might think I was hiding something. I calmly walked around the table. When I approached, he towered over me and zeroed in on my neck.
“What happened there?” His fingers grazed the bruising on my skin. Gentle, but not at all soothing. And entirely uninvited. When I flinched at his touch, his brow creased in concern.
“Nothing,” I snapped, immediately annoyed with myself. The man made my temper short, but I was a fool to let him.
Elias folded his arms across his chest. “Who was it, Fera?”
“It was just a sparring match,” I lied.
His teeth clenched. I scowled at his perfectly chiseled face. “You’re not a good liar, Fera.”
I snorted at the irony. “Frankly, I have a hard time believing your concern when yours was the first hand in these Barracks to strike me.”
His lips tightened into a thin line. “That was… regrettable.”
I gasped lightly in surprise. “Are you about to apologize to me, Commander?”
He silently studied me, his clean-shaven jaw ticking in a meticulous rhythm.
“There’s another gathering for our team today,” he began, ignoring my question.
“A little camaraderie is beneficial in getting to know your new peers. Come back after dinner. Informal dress.” Elias pushed off the table and nodded to the door in dismissal. “Don’t be late this time.”
I started to leave but was clearly a glutton for punishment. “Do you know any more about who killed that man?"
“Did it sound like I do?” he shot back.
I shrugged. “Maybe you’re not as skilled at hiding your emotions as you think you are.”
Elias huffed out a laugh, then paused. His hesitation was an improvement over being immediately shooed away. “I have my own lead,” he actually admitted.
My stomach jumped. “And I’m assuming you won’t tell me what it is?”
“I’m not saying a word to anyone but Valda until I can confirm it.”
“Fair enough.” I slowly backed away toward the door. From what I’d overheard between him and Valda, I knew he didn’t suspect me, but I wanted to hear him say it. “Though I take it I’m not the lead.”
“If I truly thought you murdered Cross, I would have killed you already,” he deadpanned.
“Sure,” I laughed, then called back over my shoulder, “you’d have tried to, anyway.”
I had no idea what “informal dress” meant in the Barracks. All I had were my fighting leathers, two nightgowns, and a few sets of lounging clothes. I’d only brought essentials.
Thankfully, Mina lent me a rose-colored sweater and a pair of black pants like the kind Gemma gave me in Tovick.
She braided my hair for me and promised me it would look put together but not like I put in too much effort.
I didn’t want attention, especially from Elias.
I didn’t want to appear lazy or disrespectful, either.
While she worked, she chatted about how she was designing a tattoo of the baby’s initials for Marin.
Mina’s favorite hobby, aside from helping others, was art.
Body art, specifically. Over the last few years, she’d become the go-to person in the Caves for anyone looking to permanently mark themselves.
“Do you want one?” she asked me.
Whenever I thought of tattoos, I thought of the 402 lines that Gavin had inked into skin to measure the years without me. I’d never asked if he did them on his own or had someone else do it.
“I’m not opposed to it.” I straightened the chain around my neck to ensure my ring was hidden beneath my sweater. An idea for a tattoo bloomed, but I would set it aside until it felt right. “I’ll think about it.”
“Did Winterton give you the names of the other soldiers that would be there tonight?” Mavic leaned casually against the wall beside us.
“He didn’t.” I glanced up to find his normally calm face twisted into a frown. “Why?”
“No reason.” He folded his arms over his chest and shrugged.
I didn’t buy it, and neither did Mina. We stared at him expectantly until he cracked.
“Look, those guys are extremely skilled, but some don’t have the best reputation around women, especially Gerard, Stoll, and the Sharpe brothers.
And you didn’t exactly get off on the best foot with them the day you arrived. ”
I gave him a coy grin. “Are you worried about me, Mavic Reed?”
“You wish,” he scoffed. He made a show of rolling his eyes at my joke, but his concern was still painfully evident. “Just be careful. There’s…” He trailed off when his eyes darted to Mina. I glanced to see her subtly shaking her head.
“What?” I demanded, looking between them. “What is it?”
Mina glared at her brother, then faced me. “Let me preface this with the fact that we know it’s not true.” She exhaled heavily. “But there’s a rumor going around that you’ve been sleeping with the commander to earn his favor.”
My blood chilled. “That’s absurd.”
“It is,” Mavic agreed. “I’m fairly certain the Sharpe brothers started the whisperings after you took them down on the day you arrived.”
“Fragile egos,” Mina added. “Do your best not to let it get to you. The commander himself knows it’s hogwash, and that’s what matters.
And let’s not forget you can set them on fire or strangle them with a vine if you really need to.
” She fixed a few loose strands of my braid before patting me on the shoulders.
“All right, off you go. Before you’re late. ”
I was equally disgusted as I was uneasy, but I forced both emotions aside and put on a brave face. Showing my nerves and letting them know it bothered me would only add fuel to their fire.