Chapter 54 #2
“I wish that surprised me,” he stated grimly.
Something unsettling passed between us. Wariness. An uncomfortable agreement. He was trying so hard, always available for whatever I needed. I wasn’t sure I’d forgiven him. I still didn’t trust him with my heart. I wasn’t sure I ever would, but his consistency accounted for something.
“I believe he’s on our side.” My folded hands atop the table mirrored his. “But I think there are some things we’ll have to figure out on our own. Without Simeon.”
He nodded in understanding. “Well, we could start with that enchanted tome in Peradine.”
I froze, bitterness niggling at my composure. “You didn’t care about it when I brought it up during Commencement.”
“And I should have cared,” Elias admitted guiltily.
“Nevertheless, I sent an inquiry about them once we returned to the Caves. That book hasn’t been opened in over four hundred years, but as you mentioned, it’s suspected to contain information about the continent across the Brinnean Sea.
” He rapped the table with his fingers. “Simeon hasn’t been able to open it, but maybe you can. ”
It wasn’t lost on me that he only cared to consider my thoughts now , after all that had unfolded in recent months.
After he knew who I truly was. Had he ever thought much of the idea, or was he simply trying to appease me?
I wouldn’t let bitterness deter me from going, because we needed every bit of information we could get, but reality left a sour taste in my mouth.
“Though if we go there, I should warn you…” Elias winced and rubbed his jaw in thought.
“What?” I asked warily. Gemma always complained to me about Peradine, how Elias had sent Finn there to punish them when he suspected them of withholding information.
He sighed, clearly displeased. “The duke’s going to have a price.”
“A price?”
Elias grimaced. “The Duke of Peradine is notorious for running his city like a brothel. He doesn’t trade in money or goods. He trades… in sex.”
I snorted. “You must love it there.”
Elias frowned at me in disapproval, and Shera snickered in my head.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. His extracurriculars had become something of a joke between us now, but he wasn’t laughing today. “So, you’re saying he’ll trade this magical book in exchange for some fucking? What do we do, then? Bring willing participants?”
“No.” His jaw ticked in irritation. “I’d gamble every cent I’ve ever had that he takes one look at you and makes you his objective.”
“How flattering,” I grumbled.
“He’d be blind not to, Aryella.”
My face heated at his words. I looked to Shera, who lounged casually on the floor beside me. She peered up at me, her violet eyes glowing with mischief.
“Let the duke try his hand, then,” I decided, a small smirk pulling at my lips. “And we’ll see how willing we are to negotiate.”
The next morning, Elias went to the Elders and began to make plans for our journey.
A messenger departed immediately on horseback to prepare the Duke of Peradine for the arrival of “Elias Winterton and some companions” in less than a week.
Elias refused to tell them the queen was coming. We both agreed it was safer that way.
The night before, I had lain awake in my bed and listened to Shera’s gentle snoring while staring at the rocky ceiling. My nerves were alive, wild, ready for danger.
It was unbearable.
I bound my hair into a loose braid, got dressed, and headed for Damond’s room. Thankfully, he lived in the same wing and level as I still did—because I refused to trade my friends for somewhere more luxurious .
His door opened only a few seconds after I knocked.
“Hey you.” He pressed a kiss to my temple and ushered me in.
“I’m sorry for showing up in the middle of the night like this. Again.”
He waved a hand. “Don’t be. I was already having trouble sleeping.”
But that wasn’t the only reason he didn’t want me to stay away, and we both knew it.
Damond was the only other person who’d had any real relationship with him .
Gemma knew the truth, but she hadn’t really known him.
Being around Damond made me feel closer to Gavin.
I didn’t have to hide my mourning, and neither did Damond.
I wandered aimlessly around his room and examined his many trinkets. Damond was quite the collector. In recent nights, I’d gone through a book of coins, a box of wooden figurines, and some iron fishhooks Damond had made when trying his hand at blacksmithing.
There was a large chest in the corner of the room that kept catching my eye. The longer I stared at it, the more I felt compelled to see what was inside. It was old. Very old. Tonight, when I leaned close to it, I caught a whiff of cedar and leather and sucked in a sharp gasp.
“Was this his?” I asked Damond.
He glanced up from where he was annotating a book, and the smallest of smiles pulled at his mouth. He joined me beside the chest and handed me a small brass key. “Open it.”
My pulse climbed to a sprint.
“Go on.”
My fingers shook with excitement and apprehension as I turned the key. When the rich, warm smell of him washed over me I had the overwhelming urge to crawl inside the chest, despite the stale musk of paper his scent was mixed with.
“He owned a vast amount of land throughout Avendrel and Wymara, under a pseudonym. It brings in a lot of money, from rents.” Damond withdrew a large leather tome among piles and rolls of papers and scrolls.
“I managed it for him and held on to all the records.” He crossed his long legs on the floor beside me and opened the book in his lap.
“But these are names, not places,” I observed.
“He also kept track of everyone he killed as the Butcher.” Damond slowly flipped through the pages, covered in Gavin’s handwriting mixed with various others. “As best he could, anyway.”
“He told me he lost count of how many he killed.”
“Since the beginning? I’m sure he did.” He pointed at the book, “But two centuries ago he started disbursing money anonymously to the families of his victims. My parents handled it all before me. My grandparents before them, I believe, and so on.”
“May I?” I asked, voice raspy. Damond set the book in my lap and watched as I slowly flipped through. Gods, he had given away so much money. “He tried to help them.”
“Money couldn’t bring any of them back, but it was… something.”
“And the land, the rents… it’s all yours now?”
“No.” He pointed to a name on one of the deeds. My name. “It’s all yours.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “He left it all to me?”
He laughed softly. “Of course he did, Ary. You were his wife, whether he ever got to have you again or not. Not that he really needed to leave it to you in any official capacity, since you’re the queen.”
My lips trembled. Desperate to remain composed, I set the book down in the chest before sniffing, wiping my eyes, and stood to my feet. I had to mourn him in stages, like this. Little by little. Too much at once made me crumble, and I couldn’t afford to crumble.
“We’re leaving for Peradine tomorrow,” I said, changing the subject. “Me, Elias, Ezra, Mavic Reed, and a few others. Gemma also insists on coming, so Finn will too, of course.”
Damond offered a half smile. “He won’t leave her side, and I don’t blame him.”
I nodded in agreement and turned in the chair to face my friend.
“Simeon is still withholding information like his tongue’s been cut out.
While I intend to keep pushing him, I’m also not going to wait for him to stop being a manipulative ass.
Elias says the Duke has access to an enchanted book that might give us information Simeon won’t. ”
“Elias wants to go behind Simeon’s back?” The laugh lines behind Damond’s glasses crinkled as his face scrunched in disbelief.
“I know you don’t like him,” I sighed, “but he has good instincts. Mostly.”
Damond scratched his hair and pondered my words. “I’ll come with you all.”
“No.” I stood up. “I want you to stay here in case he…” I trailed off.
A part of me still hoped. I tried to silence that part, because hoping was too painful, but I always failed.
I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t let him go.
“He’s not coming back, Ary,” Damond sadly reminded me.
I nodded a little too quickly as if doing so could fend off my tears. Before heading back to my room, I squeezed Damond in a quick hug and promised, “I’ll be back soon.”