Ch. 7 The Beginning Of The End
I stand in the school doorway, unable to believe my eyes. It's like the whole school was devoured overnight by a ribbons-and-confetti monster who decided to spit it back out.
Prom fever is here.
The prom committee has gone all out this year. The theme this year—Galaxy— has everyone in a tizzy.
Tinsel decorations placed strategically in dark corners make the school—twinkle.
Despite myself, excitement starts building within me.
I walk to Advanced English, and sit in my corner seat. I stare out over the grounds from the window next to me, wondering for the umpteenth time about how to read Marcus.
It's been three months since school resumed. After the initial awkwardness, things seemed to get better—but I can't bring myself to trust it.
He still greets me every day. Even sits beside me randomly in Advanced Math. But there's a wall between us now—one I'm not sure how to breach.
I can read it in the set of his shoulders when he's beside me, in the smiles that don't quite reach his eyes.
I've tried to be open, while not letting my hurt show.
I figured if he got to know me better, if we became friends, he might be more inclined to share what's bothering him.
But each time he feels more distant—like he's performing in a play he doesn't want to act in.
Every day, I wonder if I should dig in or let go.
I keep staring out the window even when Marcus and Madison enter.
Their laughter pierces my heart like the knife our chef likes to throw at the wall when he's mad—except my heart isn't stone.
Is it so bad to want someone sincerely?
I sigh deeply before turning to Mr. Winston as class begins. No matter what, I can't fall back.
I have to make the most of this opportunity.
—-------------------
I catch Celeste staring out the window as Maddy and I enter the class. Maddy is talking about cheer practice—again.
Celeste's blue eye glows as it reflects the blue sky.
I know I'm building a wall between us and yet a part of me wants to tear it down brick by brick.
If I am honest with myself, I'm afraid of what she sees in me—what my truths reveal about me.
I've spent my whole life trying to outrun the boy whose mother chose to forget him rather than care.
What happens when Celeste eventually sees something she doesn't like? When I've given my everything but it's still not enough—I'm not enough?
All I know is, it's best if Celeste and I stick to being classmates and acquaintances.
The prom fever is everywhere. Everyone is discussing who to go with—
"Are you listening?" Maddy's voice cuts through my thoughts.
"What—? Yes, yes I am." Heat creeps up my neck.
Maddy laughs sweetly. She's always patient with me when I get distracted.
"What were you thinking about?"
"Oh—um. Prom." Heat burns my cheeks.
"About that," she continues, "I wanted to ask you something."
"Oh?" My mind goes blank. She looks around, then grabs my hand and leads me to the back of the class.
Her fingers are warm in mine.
She smiles at me shyly as we take our seats.
"Marcus, will you go to prom with me?"
My heart thuds in my chest. Madison is asking me to prom?
"I—are you sure?"
She grins at me. "Of course, dummy! If you can't already tell—" a blush blooms on her face, "I really like you."
I swallow hard. "I—yeah. I'd be honored to go to prom with you."
She grins at me like she's the happiest girl in class, and I can't help but feel a measure of—pride.
One of the most beautiful girls in our batch asked me to go to prom with her.
Madison is right—safe. She only sees the boy Daniel Ingram wants to mentor. With her, I don't have to be real, just better.
"You know, I thought you'd say no."
Shocked doesn't begin to cover what I feel. "What?! Why?"
"I thought you'd ask Celeste. I've seen her glancing your way. You always greet her and smile at her, even though no one else does..."
She meets my gaze. "I thought you might have fallen for her."
"What! No!" My voice is louder than I intended it to be. "It's nothing like that at all!"
She smiles at me. "I get that now. You were just being compassionate. She is a little unfortunate—and you're a really great guy."
Class starts and I turn to the front, the word 'compassionate' tasting like ash in my mouth.
—------------------
It was such a long day today. My hip still hurts where the basketball struck me—hard.
I limp towards the exit when I spot Marcus leaning against the wall, reading a book.
Should I do it?
If I can't be brave on my birthday, then when else?
I can't help but limp faster.
I think I will. Hopefully he'll agree— it'll be my birthday present to myself.
"Marcus, hi." My voice sounds shrill to my ears and I wince.
He looks up in surprise. "Oh! Hey, Celeste. What's up?"
"Umm—I," I stammer, cheeks stinging. "I—uh—I wanted to ask if—um—if you'd like to go to prom with me?"
Immediately Marcus straightens. His face takes on a careful expression—like he's afraid of my reaction.
My heart sinks. The walls feel like they're closing in.
He's going to say no.
"I'm flattered. I really am. But—um—Celeste, I'm already going with someone else. I'm really sorry."
I shake my head and use all my strength to muster up a smile.
"You and Colt are literally the only boys I know at this school except Chris. Given my history with Colt, I figured you'd be the safer choice. Don't sweat it."
I raise a hand in farewell and turn around. I can't get out of there fast enough.
When was the last time I got anything on my birthday? I wanted to go with Marcus so badly I let myself forget.
Of course he's going with someone else.
Even if he wasn't, what could possibly possess me to think he'd go with me?
Idiot.
—------------------
Celeste just asked me to prom. Blood pounds in my head.
And I had to reject her.
I know she joked about it, but I think I hurt her.
I bite my lip, debating whether to go after her or not. I don't want to be with her, but that doesn't mean I want to hurt her.
"There you are! Were you waiting for me?"
Maddy runs to me and takes my arm.
We head to the parking lot, and join our friends.
I smile and laugh along with them, but I can't get Celeste's eyes out of my head.
Bright, before a curtain fell and locked everything away.
—---------------
The day of the prom dawns bright and clear.
I've decided not to go.
I found out the day after I asked Marcus, that he's going with Madison.
I feel like an even bigger fool. It's a mercy I asked him in an empty corridor—and it seems like he's not shared this with Madison either.
My debt to him keeps stacking up.
It's been torture, smiling and nodding like nothing's changed while Madison hangs off his arm.
I have a day off today at all my jobs. Maybe someone is willing to trade shifts.
"So this is where you're hiding." Christopher is standing at my door, holding a cupcake in his hand.
"Belated happy birthday."
I swallow. "How did you know?" He just shrugs.
My throat goes tight. I stare at him as he comes in and places the cupcake in my hand and gestures for me to eat it.
"Why don't you hate me?" The words escape before I can stop them.
Since the day I've come into this house, Christopher and Jenkins are the only people who've ever been kind. I don't get it.
He raises an eyebrow in question. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are only two weeks older than me. It doesn't take a genius to figure out Jonathan was cheating on your mom with mine while she was pregnant with you. So why don't you hate me?"
"Because it's not your fault. I hated your mom—a lot—when I found out about you. Then I heard she raised you alone. Didn't even ask dad for financial support."
He drops onto my bed, and I sit on the floor beside him. He seems lost in thought—like he's trying to find the right words.
"I know the kind of people my parents are. They hate each other—you know. They've been this way for years.
I just—I don't know. I don't want to be that kind of person, hating and resenting everyone and everything. Plus, it's cool to have a sister."
My eyes sting with unshed tears. I'm glad I didn't try to fleece him for money.
"Thanks. It's cool to have a brother too." He grins.
"So, what are you wearing to prom?"
My smile dims. "I'm not going."
"Because you like Marcus?"
My jaw drops and I'm sure even my roots are turning red. "How—"
"Anyone with eyes can see. It's kind of an open secret in our group."
I wish the carpet would swallow me whole.
Does Madison know? Does Marcus?
Horror at that thought constricts my throat.
How the hell am I ever going to show my face at school again?!
I groan and cover my face in my hands.
"You know, everyone is expecting you to skip prom today."
My head snaps up. "Why?"
"Because we expect you're too embarrassed."
"But, I'm not."
He shrugs and continues, "Then go. You'll meet many Marcus's in your life. Prom only comes once."
He may be right, but I'm not sure I'll meet another Marcus again.
It's not every day I meet someone who sees me for me and doesn't try to break me or change me.
I roll my eyes at him and he grins. "So, what will you wear?"
It's my turn to shrug. "I don't know?"
He shakes his head in mock disappointment. "I knew it. Come with me."
He brings me to his room. It's the first time I'm seeing it. It's huge—easily three times mine.
A huge bed sits at one end. There's a nice lounge area, with a couch one can sink in and bean bags.
His laptop sits on a huge work desk flanked by a floor-to-ceiling book cabinet.
"Nice, right?" I stare at everything wide-eyed.
"How many books do you have?"
"Around 1200. You're welcome to borrow, should you ever want one."
I nod. He leaves me gaping at his room while he moves to a door. I run my finger along the spine of a leather book. The title is etched in gold, an old classic.
Beautiful.
My eyes can't take in everything fast enough. A violin sits in its stand, with sheet music across from it.
Wait, he plays the violin? How could I not know?!
He brings out a box from somewhere and drops it on his bed.
"Your birthday present."
My jaw won't shut. He lifts the lid to show a beautiful blue shimmery gown in a fishtail cut.
It's the exact color of my blue eye, and it's—gorgeous.
Mom made me a brown dress once—dyed the fabric with coffee and mud to make it match my eye before sewing it by hand. I was five.
I know it was her way of showing she cared, but I looked hideous. And everybody called me poop—on my birthday.
When I told mom what happened, she was so mad at me for being unappreciative, she never got me a birthday present again.
This—what—
"I—I don't know what to say."
He laughs. "Go show 'em what you're made of."
Maybe the future won't be so bad after all.
I smile at him, genuine warmth spreading through me.
I guess I'm going to prom!
A chill races down my spine—but just this once, I choose to ignore it.It was a mistake I shouldn't have made.