Ch. 21 A Shattered Illusion
I'm still floating on clouds as I round the block to her house. The sun is bright, and the birds are chirping cheerily—almost like they're singing in celebration—for me. My smile widens to the point it hurts.
I couldn't stop grinning the whole bus ride here.
With the addendum to the contract, it'll be easier for her to see how valued my contribution is.
She'll see why it was the right choice—taking this job.
I try pulling my lips into a neutral stance, but I can't—not today.
Marcus seeing my worth has shifted something within me. He's not actively trying to make me fail.
Confidence like I haven't known in months strengthens my spine.
I can do this. I'm going to win my redemption and keep my friends.
The bag of wine I'm carrying feels light in my arms.
Oh! What a beautiful day!
I twirl on the path, and stumble.
A chill runs down my spine, but I ignore it. Nothing can bring me down today.
—-----------------------
Just as I'm stepping into the living room, a flying rat lands on my face—with impact—before falling to the ground.
"Ow!" I hold my nose, eyes watering, and take a step forward.
"No! Wait!" Ella screams.
"Don't you dare step on him!" Keith's voice adds weight.
I freeze, leg hanging in mid-air. Him?
I look down to find Toto, Ella's stuffed rat, about to be squished by my feet.
I grab it and round on Keith, eyes narrowed. "What the hell?" I understand Ella's attachment. But Keith as well?
Next to Keith, Kyle is laughing so hard he's on the floor, his stomach clearly in stitches. Tears stream down his face as he tries in vain to catch his breath.
Kenneth has his mouth stuffed under his hands, but his whole body is shaking with suppressed laughter while Legend has no such compunction, laughing loudly at my expense.
Frany giggles next to Ella, eyes bright with laughter.
Ella gets up from her seat and grabs Toto from my hands. Gently she brushes dust off of him.
"Are you alright, Toto?"
Her eyes narrow at me, and I suddenly feel an intense urge to duck out. "Did this bad, bad man hurt you like he's trying to hurt my friend?"
"Uh—" She turns with a snap and returns to her seat. I swallow nervously.
Everyone straightens in their seats, serious visages in place. Kyle coughs before settling down.
It's clearly an intervention.
Ella breaks the silence first. Her voice is soft, and non-judgemental. "Why'd you do it? Add such an awful clause?"
If anyone else had spoken, I might have felt defensive, but her quiet question only makes my heart hurt.
I know how much bad contracts hurt both her and Keith.
I grab a chair and sit heavily.
"It's not a bad contract, Ella. It's a great opportunity."
"With the condition to 'lose everything' attached should she fail. How is that not kicking someone when they're already down?"
I bite my lip as I try to remember my motive for doing it. Everything is so jumbled up.
I catch Keith patting her on the back.
How am I supposed to explain something even I'm beginning to doubt?
Regardless, I forge on.
"I don't trust her, Ella. Not around you, and not around Legend."
Legend raises an eyebrow and jumps to her defence. "She was nothing if not amazing while she worked for me. Brilliant. And smart. And professional. She never gave me a reason to doubt her."
He pauses as his eyes turn heavy with something unsaid. "I have worked with her before. I would never have introduced her to Ella, otherwise."
I hear the unspoken chastisement. He's asking if I'm doubting his judgment.
Keith speaks then, calm as always. "Marcus, if there's something you know that we don't, then tell us. We deserve to know what you're trying to protect us against."
Again, the unspoken—and whether we need it—which I hear loud and clear.
And so I tell them. About high school. About the kiss. About the stolen answer keys. About nearly losing my future.
"I know I sound crazy and paranoid. I asked her why she admitted to the frame up. I've assigned a million reasons but nothing makes sense.
"Maybe I deserved what she did to me in high school. And if she decides she wants to finish what she started, then the easiest way would be for her to fail at her job at Ingram Tech.
"The financial losses alone would bury me completely. Our contract explicitly states that I will bear all consequences should we fail. I won't make Ingram Tech pay, either. But if it comes to pass, then I want one assurance—that you guys will be safe.
"Is it so unreasonable?" My voice breaks.
"If she doesn't care about revenge anymore, then this job is a genuine opportunity for her to redeem her place in the entertainment industry.
"Regardless, I've been open with her about it. I'm not going to do anything underhanded— if that's what you fear."
Everyone looks shocked and upset.
The sound of a glass bottle breaking makes all of us jump.
I look up to find Celeste standing there, face white, hands shivering, frozen like a statue.
When I look at her today, I feel only discomfort. Not anger. Not contempt.
How strange.
Ella rushes to her and helps her step away.
"Are you alright?" Celeste finally looks at Ella, like she's surfacing from a long dream.
"I—yes. I'm fine."
Ella pulls her to the room and helps her sit, before handing her a glass of water. Kyle and Frany are already grabbing a broom and a rag while Kenneth, Legend and Keith hesitate on the periphery, like they're unsure who to go to.
"I'm sorry about your gift. And the broken glass everywhere." Celeste's voice sounds raw, like she has to push those words out.
"Hush—" Ella pats her hand. "It's alright. You're safe, and that's all that matters."
Celeste nods, but doesn't speak further. I feel an urge to go and comfort her, but I quash it. I can't be going soft right now.
"How long were you standing there?" Ella is gentle as she wipes Celeste's legs—soaked in wine—with a napkin.
"Since Marcus spoke about how he doesn't trust me around you." Her voice is bitter.
So she was there the whole time?
Celeste sips on her water, knuckles white on the glass.
I watch Ella and Keith exchange a look loaded with an entire conversation.
"Celeste, is what Marcus said true?"
Keith's voice is neutral, like he's open to whatever Celeste might say.
A sting of betrayal rushes through me.
Is Keith saying he doesn't believe me?
It hurts more than I will ever share with anyone. Do they all doubt me?
My gaze jumps from one set of eyes to another, taking in their confusion, their concern, their... doubt.
My gaze finally lands on Celeste, who's been staring at me the whole time.
Something shifts in her gaze, and my pulse stutters.
Why does it feel like everything is going to change?
—----------------------------
Hearing Marcus lay bare my mistakes hurts in a way I didn't expect it to.
Hearing his version of the events—it gives me a new perspective on my mistake.
Hearing that he feels like he earned my displeasure... That—I don't know what to make of.
Regardless, it's definitely true that I came between him and Madison. And, if I hadn't been impulsive, would Madison have felt driven to such lengths to take revenge?
Sure, I managed to avert disaster for Marcus. But does it count when I was the cause of that disaster to begin with?
He still doesn't know that those weren't my answer keys. And I have no way to prove my innocence.
The wine bottle slips my grasp and shatters against the floor. I stand there frozen, trying to process the weight of my actions.
I may have saved Marcus's career, but I would never be able to give him back his first love, his first kiss, his life as he had envisioned it.
My insides curl in my abdomen, and I feel sick. My whole body shakes, and cold settles in my bones as Ella leads me to a chair and hands me water.
I automatically start sipping... anything to keep my hands busy.
My eyes stay glued to Marcus.
For the first time in a very long time, I'm wondering if I cleared my dues with Marcus or created new ones.
I'm not even sure who owes whom what anymore, and it's so exhausting trying to figure it out.
"Celeste, is what Marcus said true?"
Keith's voice echoes in my ears. I'm so tempted to tell them all the truth. I know they will understand.
The urge to unburden myself is so strong, I nearly cave.
But I see the moment Marcus feels betrayed.
I can see it in how his eyes flit from one person to the next, wondering if they're going to trust a stranger over him.
I can see him wondering if he's going to lose this family too.
I can't do it. I can't steal these people from him too.
I never wanted to be someone who took from others what wasn't hers.
I can remember my mother's pride at securing my father, and my disgust at her.
"He was so wonderful. Handsome and rich. He was so tired of his wife. She pushed him away—refused to sleep with him, refused to touch him—just because she found out she was pregnant.
"Well. Her loss, my gain." She takes a swig of her liquor and dances around our tiny apartment.
"He decked me in jewels, gave me branded handbags. Openly proclaimed me his woman. It was glorious.
"Then, that evil woman found out, and threatened to divorce him, take him to the cleaners if he didn't stop. Told him he'd never see his son again.
"Coward! He caved." She smiles then, wistfully, bitterly, unrepentant.
"Those were beautiful days, glorious." She drinks more, before falling flat on our table, her snores echoing throughout the empty house.
I hated that she tried to steal him from his family. That she tried to use 'me' to tear him away and steal what wasn't hers.
I've finally realized something.
Ella and Legend were already his family before they ever became my friends. I refuse to be a thief after already being a bastard.
"Yes." The word escapes my mouth with a finality we all hear.
Ella stares at me shocked, eyes so wide I can see the whites.
I pull myself to my feet. "I'm going to go now. Let's meet sometime, Ella." I turn to Legend, who looks lost for words and smile at him.
"Legend."
He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I wave at Kyle, who looks like he hasn't a clue what to do with all the information dumped on him.
"See you at work." He has the grace to nod.
I turn around and walk away, chest feeling strangely hollow, like a part of me just died.
Why do all my choices start and end at the mistakes of my youth? Is there ever going to be a day that I overcome them?