18. Ethan
Ethan
Colt stares at me, and the longer he stays silent, the more I feel like I’ve just fucked this all up.
“Can you tell me more? What did Jesse tell you?”
“Right. Let me start at the beginning. Can we sit?”
We’re both still standing at the door, our hands clasped together like we’re afraid to let go.
Colt pulls off his boots, quickly grabs my hand again, and we sit together on his sofa.
Colt’s gaze is soft for me, but I notice the way he grips my hand tighter and how his chest rises faster.
Before I launch into the whirlwind of today, I have to say something else first.
“I’m sorry for leaving you vague notes and not calling. I didn’t want to get my hopes up and not have any good news. I just wanted to let you know I didn’t disappear.” There was no way I could relay anything by paper without writing a damn novel. This kind of news needs a discussion. Face to face.
“I’ve had to stay occupied to stop thinking our time is over and falling into a pit of self-pity.
I didn’t want to call you in case I interrupted, or…
fuck, I think I was afraid to hear anything while wanting you to call at the same time.
” Colt’s admission hurts, and I wish I had handled it differently.
We’re both a bit of a mess over this, and I know it’s my fault.
“I didn’t mean to cause you stress.” My voice cracks. “I really want this to work, Colt.”
“It’s okay.” Colt leans over and kisses me quickly. “Tell me how I might have to leave Chance and still have you.”
My smile grows, and I try not to talk too fast in my excitement. For once, I have a solid plan that satisfies both of our needs. Neither of us gives up too much. Well, mostly. Colt definitely has the hardest part, but I think he’ll warm to the possibilities it gives us both.
“You know my mom is a journalist, and she often travels for assignments, right?” Colt nods. “She emailed me a few contacts, and the one guy mentioned he has a client starting an outdoor adventure magazine and needed reliable people to submit content.”
Colt’s smile has all but faded, and I rush to continue.
“I don’t want to travel all the time like my mom. I want to create a home with you.” My thumb brushes his scruffy jaw. “I want solid ground, Colt. Not living out of suitcases and never getting a plant because I’m not home to water it.”
“Then how does this work?”
“Have you ever heard of the store Fin, Feather, and Fur?”
“Of course I have. It’s a massive outdoors store. If there’s an outdoor adventure or activity, they have their fingers in it.” Colt sits a little straighter. “Wait. Are they the ones doing the magazine?”
His eyes widen, and if I’m not mistaken, a bit of hope shines there.
“Smart and sexy. I love it, and yes, they are.”
“They just built a giant store in Fort Collins,” Colt says, and I can see the wheels turning, trying to fit it all together.
“Jesse said I could offer my photography to people visiting the ranch. Completely freelance, of course. They sign waivers for them to be used on social media, but then they can buy prints from me. Well, they can buy the digital file for their own prints.”
“That’s good, right? You wanted to do more photography.”
“Yes, it is, and I do. But the income is all dependent on whether people want to buy. He said the budget isn’t there for me to be hired full time for promotion, but he offered me a part-time position with a salary to keep the ranch socials going.”
“That’s great!” Colt’s smile pushes the darkness from the room as I nod.
“It is. But it’s likely not going to be much, and as much as the cost to live here is low, I still need to think of the future.
We need to think about the future. Which is why I was talking to my mom’s contacts.
Fin, Feather, and Fur need knowledgeable staff.
Staff who know fly-fishing inside and out and can advise people on camping equipment.
” Colt’s lips part, and I lean forward to plant a quick kiss on him.
“I know it’s inside work, and you might not like that, but you’d be in the city with me while I help them launch the magazine. ”
“You’d want to do that? I thought you wanted to focus on the photography and get away from all this stuff?”
I nod and puff out a breath. “I do, but they made me an offer, Colt. They made us an offer that’s literally perfect.
They want me in the office and not remote.
Which means Fort Collins, and I’m not only doing photography for the magazine.
I’m assisting the editor and doing some travel. Travel that can include you.”
“Ethan…I…I don’t know what to say.”
“For now, can you say you’ll think about it? It’s maybe not what you wanted, but we can be together and have opportunities neither of us thought we’d ever have a few months ago.”
Climbing into his lap, I wrap my arms around him and bury my face against his neck. Colt’s arms squeeze around me as he kisses the side of my head. He said before he’d consider leaving for me, but now that it could be a reality, I don’t know if he’ll reconsider.
I just hope he gives it thought and a chance.
“Well, hello there, stranger.” Cathy smiles at me as she places a coffee down. “I haven’t seen you for a few weeks. Rumor has it you found yourself cozy with our most eligible bachelor.”
I’m never bashful, but my cheeks heat to know the town talks about me and Colt now. I thought we were in the clear from gossip before the paint lesson, but that was just the match for the kindling, it seems.
“Your rumor is correct. He likes to make me breakfast, so I haven’t been here as much.”
Cathy sits across from me in the booth. Her smile reaches her eyes, and she taps at my laptop. “Is this gonna keep you here in Chance? We’d all love to see Colt be happy.”
So do I. The man deserves to be happy, and I hope it’s with me.
“I don’t know if it will keep us here, but it will keep us together. I hope.” Cathy’s smile doesn’t break, and I figure that’s a good thing. “Did you know his mother at all? Or his uncle?”
“I’m not much older than Colt, but I remember his mom. She was an artist like him. She would make things for the nurses at the emergency clinic. She’d always donate her time or baking to whatever cause was going on. She was a nice lady.”
“She sounds like it.”
A group of locals enters the Laughing Fork, and Cathy waves at them with a shout that she’ll be right there.
“I think it’s wonderful he’s found some joy with you, Ethan.
I know this town will be sad to see him leave, but also so very thrilled he’s found his person.
Colt, I think, might find it hard at first. He struggled when his uncle moved into the retirement home.
We all saw it, you know?” She stands and squeezes my shoulder.
“He’ll stick with you, Ethan. If there’s one thing about Colt Beckworth, it’s that he always does the right thing. ”
Cathy leaves me to serve the new customers, and when I realize I didn’t give her my order, I turn and catch her attention. She mouths, the usual? And I nod with a smile before turning back to my coffee.
Colt won’t be the only one missing this place. Finding diners with staff as friendly as the Laughing Fork is a challenge. Although they aren’t really staff to me. They’re friends. Cathy has shared many conversations with me as I’ve worked over breakfast or supper.
She knows what I do for work and even followed all the accounts I’ve established for businesses to see how good I am. Support for a friend; she called it.
Opening my laptop to work for the day, it really hits me how much Colt would leave behind here, but it’s not like we’d never be back. Hell, we aren’t even that far away. We could come here for breakfast on the weekends if I drag my ass out of bed early enough.
If our positions were swapped and I had to leave the only place I called home to follow someone like Colt, I’d do it. I know I would. But I also have the support of my parents and friends to make it seem less scary.
As the diner fills and more conversation fills the place, I look around and recognize several faces. They all wave or nod, and I realize Colt has more support here than he might think.
Now I just need to wait for Colt’s answer and hope he knows this town will never leave him behind.