Chapter 6 #2
“I got involved with her after I turned her case over to Jackson, so no, I didn’t get involved with a client.”
“Jackson works for you, so you’re splitting hairs.”
“I was not her attorney of record when I got involved with her. Be careful insinuating that I’ve committed an ethics breach, because that isn’t true.”
“I’m just saying… People in glass houses need to put down the stones.”
“Anything else you want to get off your chest?”
“Nah, I’m good. Later, bro.”
Carson pushed a button on the steering wheel to end the call, pissed off after the testy conversation with Julian.
That he had the nerve to bring up Cresley when he was cavorting with someone who’d started out as a client took balls.
Granted, Isla had been a pro bono client as the sister of Julian’s close friend, but she’d been a client, nonetheless.
Yes, he’d turned her over to Jackson when he realized he’d caught feelings, but the lines were fuzzy despite what he’d told himself to make it work in his own mind.
He’d never been so out of sync with Julian, the brother who’d been his ride-or-die through the best and worst times of their lives.
Right now, Carson barely recognized him and was distressed by the widening gulf between them.
His impulse would always be to support Julian in any way he could, but this?
He couldn’t get behind something that had the power to destroy someone he loved.
Isla seemed like a lovely person. Everything was wonderful at the beginning of a relationship.
What would happen when the shit got real and one of them came to their senses?
Or she realized she’d moved on from her now-dead ex-husband too quickly?
Or her kids became too much for Julian to deal with or whatever would happen down the road? Something always happened.
Their booming family law practice was proof that nothing lasted forever.
Julian knew that better than any of the siblings since he’d been in the business the longest. He’d tell you himself he’d seen it all in his practice: fairy-tale marriages that imploded in violence, parents who’d kill their kids rather than lose them to an ex, wives who cheated because they were bored or ignored or disrespected or fill in the blank.
Men who gaslit the women who loved them while they were off leading a whole other life with someone else.
Love turned to ashes quickly in the throes of a divorce, and it became every man and woman for him- or herself.
The last thing he wanted for any of his precious siblings was to be caught up in something like that, which was why they’d decided it was easier to stay unattached. Julian had always agreed with him and the others on that, until he didn’t anymore.
Carson didn’t appreciate having to worry about him on top of everything else he had going on with people positioned all over Southern California collecting information that would be useful to their clients’ cases.
He wanted to be focused on his work, not worrying about what level of disaster his brother was setting himself up for.
Not to mention the crap with their parents.
There were times, like this, when he wished he had someone to talk to who was completely on his side, but he’d never sacrifice his mental health and well-being for that.
He needed to hit a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and get himself back on track.
There was one at eleven in Van Nuys that he could get to if traffic cooperated.
At the next light, he took a right toward the meeting.
Any time his emotions spun out of control the way they were now, he looked for the stability he relied upon to stay clean and sober.
Sitting in a room with his fellow addicts was the one thing that could almost always set him straight.
In the past, he’d turn to drugs—heroin in particular—when life got to be too much for him.
That’d led to an addiction nightmare that he’d barely survived.
He gave his parents credit for coming together to pull him back from the brink and paying for expensive rehab, multiple times, that’d eventually saved his life.
They’d never wavered in their devotion to his recovery and had both expressed enormous pride in how he’d put his life back together over the last eleven years.
For that one reason—and that one reason only—he felt a twinge of guilt about not wanting to be part of their reunion story.
He owed them everything, but that didn’t mean he wanted to talk to them about their relationship. Put that last on the list of things he wanted to do.
He was certain the NA meeting would help him regulate unproductive emotions that had never served him well.
Then Cresley called.
Carson pressed the button on the steering wheel to take the call. “Morning.”
“Morning. How’re you doing?”
“Living the dream. How about you?”
“All good. Ty was mad that I got to go out with Mr. Carson and he didn’t.”
“Aw, he’s so funny. I’ll take him for ice cream this weekend.”
“He’d love that.”
“So would I.”
“I wanted to check in after everything that happened with your parents…”
“It’s nice of you to think of me, but I’m fine. Just doing my thing and trying not to let it bother me.” He was such a fucking liar.
“How’s that going?”
“So far, so good. My dad asked to meet with me and my brothers today, and my mother made the same request of my sisters, but we’re not doing that.”
“How’re you feeling about that?”
“We feel very good about it. My grandfather reminded me this morning that we’re in charge of our own lives, and just because we work for them doesn’t mean we have to participate in their reunion tour or whatever they’re calling it.”
“He’s right. You have to protect yourselves.”
“That’s the plan. Thank you for checking on me. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I’m here if you need a friend.”
“That’s good to know.”
“Have a great day, Carson.”
“You do the same.”
He ended the call, feeling oddly elated that she’d taken the time to check on him after witnessing the rough night with his family. She certainly had much better things to be doing than wondering how he was doing. Was she thinking about that fucking kiss as much as he was?
In the parking lot at the church where the meeting was held, he checked his messages, gave directions to several employees, declined his father’s Slack invite and powered down the phone on the way inside.
While he usually attended meetings closer to home, it didn’t matter where he went.
His fellow travelers were always ready to welcome a new friend.
After resisting the help his loved ones had offered and pleaded with him to accept for far too long, Carson had eventually surrendered to the reality that he had a problem with heroin that needed to be addressed.
Three trips to rehab later, he’d tamed the dragon into submission and begun living a more productive, drug-free life.
Over the last decade, he’d become a leader within NA, often called in to counsel those just beginning their recovery journey.
His clean and sober life was his proudest accomplishment and something he never took for granted. Any time things went sideways, like they had last night, his first stop was a meeting to shore himself up to face whatever came next.