Chapter 44
THE VISIT
This morning, the air is still and crisp, and the sun just barely peeking over the horizon paints the sky a fiery orange.
James left in the early hours, leaving a very sweet note to explain he had to return to work but would be back soon.
The letter was finished with a kiss. I held it up close to my lips and gave it a quick peck just like a giddy teenager.
My bare feet crunch softly against the ground as I make my way to Moya’s caravan, my breath creating puffs of mist in front of me.
I knock on her door, the sound of my knuckles echoes in the stillness of the early morning.
She takes one look at my tear-streaked face and her expression softens. Sighing, she opens the door wider and gestures for me to come in. The lines around her eyes deepen as she speaks. ‘The theft?’ Her voice is gentle, but she looks concerned.
I nod, unable to meet her gaze, my bottom lip quivering as I try to hold back sobs. Closing the door to the caravan behind me, I take in the quiet stillness of the space. The morning light filtering in through the windows is soft and comforting, and Moya’s presence helps soothe my trembling heart.
We sit down together, and a silence grows between us, punctuated only by the distant chirp of birds in the trees beyond.
Moya looks at me with an understanding gaze, and her steady calm allows me to feel safe enough to unload everything that’s happened.
I tell her about Stephen, the horrid things he said, how James punched him…
Moya takes my hands in hers, her touch sending a jolt of energy through me.
‘James punched him? Oh my goodness,’ she murmurs, shaking her head.
She squeezes my hands. ‘It sounds like James did the right thing by defending you. No one should ever have to endure such verbal abuse.’ She pauses for a moment before continuing, ‘But now you need to think about what comes next. People can be cruel when they feel threatened. I know it’s hard to do so right now, but you must think about what’s best for you and for James in the long run.
Sometimes all you can do is protect your peace.
Stay low-key, until things settle down a bit. ’
‘But why would he say that? My mother would never steal, never! Even when we had nothing, she’d never…’
Moya sighs, and I can see the conflict in her eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter now. Let it go. It’s in the past. People believe what suits them, Daisy.’
‘No, Moya, please. I need to know,’ I say, exasperation creeping into my voice.
Moya pauses for a beat, her brow furrowed in thought.
‘It’s bad luck to tell the secrets of the dead, don’t you know?
’ She appears agitated as she shakes her head at me.
‘Your mother did everything she could to protect you from this wickedness. I’m trying my best to do the same, keep Rose’s wishes alive – but, Daisy, you never stop pushing, do you?
I’m just an old woman, and I don’t have the strength to fight you any longer.
Have it your way. Here’s the truth, and let this be the end of it, you hear me? ’
I keep my mouth shut and sit back in my seat.
‘Rose had a shift as a cleaner at The Tap House. There was lodgings upstairs and a jewellery box disappeared from a guest’s bedroom.
It was full of very expensive pieces, and they said your mother was the only one who’d a key to the room that day.
When a traveller finds themselves in a situation like that, you can imagine the rumours that start doing the rounds…
and then, of course, the police were called.
She was very afraid that she’d be arrested and end up in prison and all with a baby growing inside her. ’
‘But it wasn’t her! I know it wasn’t!’ I protest.
‘I believe you. And I believed her,’ says Moya with a sad smile.
‘But sometimes no one listens to you, even if you’re innocent.
Pregnant, unmarried, alone and labelled a thief by the town, the situation left her no choice.
You’d always be tainted by that, no matter what.
And so, she did all she could do: run. Run and never look back. ’ She puts a hand on mine.
I let Moya’s words sink in. My mind reels with the implications of what she’s just told me. I feel my heart break for my mother, who had to endure such suffering and shame all on her own. Tears prick my eyes and I look down at my hands, struggling to find the courage to ask the next question.
‘If you knew she didn’t do it, why didn’t you help her to clear her name?’
Moya looks up to the ceiling and breathes deeply.
‘Times were different then. Not that that’s an excuse.
I knew she didn’t do it; all of us who knew her felt just as you feel right now – that’s just not her character, not in her.
We went to Tom, Rose’s father, and told him what had happened, about the false accusation.
Said it wasn’t a battle she could win. He told her she’d made her bed, so she’d have to lie in it and he washed his hands of her. ’
I can imagine it all too well: their poor attempt at salvaging this sinking ship of a situation, the demoralisation and helplessness I can hear in Moya’s voice.
She sighs heavily. ‘He said he couldn’t take any risk; he wasn’t a young man anymore – too weak to fight, too old to move on.
He wanted no trouble. “We need to take care of this situation, and quickly,” he said.
“Rose, you can’t stay here.” So, he told her to get out or…
or else.’ She looked away as she said this last part.
‘And you said before she never told him she was pregnant?’
Moya shakes her head.
‘But wouldn’t that have made a difference?’ I ask.
‘Oh yes, it would have – but not in a good way,’ says Moya.
‘It’s like I said: Tom would have been furious; he’d have felt that Rose had been taken advantage of – and he’d have had Mick punished for it.
He’d never have accepted a child out of wedlock, let alone one that wasn’t from our folk.
He would have had Mick beaten to a pulp if he found out he’d got her pregnant. That’s why Rose needed to stay quiet.’
I feel my stomach sink – no one had come to my mother’s rescue when she’d needed it most. No one had been on her side or fought for her innocence when the allegation arose. Her own father had abandoned his only daughter. No wonder she’d never returned.
Moya looks up at me slowly and wipes a stray tear from her cheek with trembling fingers. ‘She left that very night,’ is all she says before bringing her gaze back down to the tabletop once more.
We sit in silence for a few moments – each of us lost in our thoughts – before Moya finally breaks it by saying softly, ‘Your mum made sure you’d have a fresh start.’
I nod silently before thanking Moya for sharing Rose’s story with me. I bid her farewell and step out into the bright sunshine.
As I walk away from the caravan, my heart feels heavy with sadness but also with a deep understanding of my mother’s actions.
My mum had had no choice – she’d had to give up her home and Mick, for me and for herself.
When Mick arrived in London, she’d steered him away for his own safety.
If Tom ever found out they had a child together, Mick would be put in serious danger.
To protect us all, she’d chosen to do the one thing that would keep everyone safe – disappear from Innisfree for the rest of her days.
She’d taken on this burden alone, running away so that we could start again somewhere new.
Even though the circumstances were less than ideal, she found a way to turn it around for us – finding strength in the face of adversity; fighting against the odds – the irony being, for all she did to protect everyone, it was her who perished first. There’s no way my mother stole anything in her whole life. This fight isn’t over.