Chapter 13
Nessa was excited about her trip into the local village, and she made her way down the road with a skip to her step that told of this good mood.
It was not her first time visiting Aldercombe, of course, but it was the first time she had free rein to spend as much time there as needed. She had a small list of chores to complete, but with no time limit attached, it provided her with an opportunity to explore the quaint village further.
Aldercombe sat in a sprawling valley of meadowland that would not be out of place on the pages of a fairytale.
From the road, she could see across the entirety of the valley, the homes and storefronts tucked into its hills safely and comfortably, and the sounds that swelled from within told of a village waking up, rising with the sun and starting its day afresh.
A smile found her face as she hurried toward the village, and she saw this as a chance to further find her place in this new world that was now her home. Hopefully, by the end of the day, it would feel that way, too.
However, as soon as Nessa started along the main road of the village, she noticed something was wrong.
It was subtle at first, so much so that it might have been her imagination, but Nessa could have sworn that the villagers were looking at her strangely. She did her best to smile and wave, but not a single gesture of friendliness was returned.
What is going on? Did I do something wrong? Surely not …
Her first stop was the haberdashery, her task there being to purchase some ribbons needed for the table linens to be set at Lady Thornwyck’s memorial. She stepped into the small shop, still with that same feeling of wrongness, but determined to put it out of her mind.
“Good morning,” she said to the owner, an elderly woman with a kind face and kinder eyes. “How goes things today? Well, I hope.”
The owner looked plainly at her. “Well enough.”
“Oh …” Nessa blinked in surprise, caught off guard by the shortness of the response.
“That is … lovely to hear.” She forced a warm smile.
“I hope you might be able to help me. I need some ribbons, at Lady Verity’s request. I have the details with me …
” She fished about in her purse for the list she had made.
“Here you are,” she then said, handing the particulars to the shop owner.
The shop owner took the list, and she did so with narrowed eyes as if expecting a trick of some kind.
Nessa waited patiently as the list was read …
“Yes, I can help you,” the shop owner said as she handed back the list. “Wait here.” She looked pointedly at Nessa, as if expecting an argument.
Nessa continued to smile, but it dropped as soon as the shop owner disappeared through the back door. She could not deny how cold the woman had acted toward her, and while Nessa might have liked to have believed it was just the woman’s way, it felt personal.
Indeed, the rest of her time spent at the haberdashery unfolded similarly. The shop owner spoke little, always kept her eyes narrowed, and could not have been less friendly.
Truly, Nessa was glad to see the back of her.
Her next stop was the local grocer. While most of Thornwyck Hall’s foodstuffs were purchased via larger shipments from farms and cities, Lady Verity had listed a few more particular items that she knew could be found in town.
Once again, Nessa produced her list and handed it to the grocer.
He was middle-aged, had leathery skin, and his beady eyes glanced at the list before narrowing on her. “I presume you have coin to pay for this?”
Nessa blinked. “Of course.”
He kept his eyes narrowed. “Show me, then. I won’t be wasting my time here.”
She had no choice but to comply, and only once the coin was shown did the grocer proceed to find her items. And as soon as he did, he hurried her through the payment, determined to see her gone.
“Is something the matter?” she asked. “Have I offended you?”
He scoffed. “Do not presume to have an effect on me at all.”
She left the grocer in a state of utmost confusion, as well as deep concern. Once on the street, Nessa swept her eyes over the few villagers peppered about the square, and every single one glanced in her direction with a look on their faces as if she were a tyrant come to do harm.
It sent a cold shiver up her body. It had her shaking. Worse of all, it saw a cloud appear above her head that had nothing to do with the weather.
They really do hate me … but why? What have I done?
Head down, Nessa was determined to finish her tasks and leave.
“Oh!” Nessa cried as she nearly ran headfirst into somebody. “I am so sorry – oh!” She smiled with relief. “Good morning, Mrs. Dowshire.”
Mrs. Dowshire was the wife of the local vicar. Nessa had first seen her at Lady Honora’s funeral, and she had met her once since then in passing. If anyone might treat her with respect, surely it was a woman of God?
“My name is Miss Nessa Kavanagh,” Nessa prompted at Mrs. Dowshire’s confusion. “We have met before.”
There was no recognition in her eyes, and they assessed Nessa coldly. “I have not seen you at my husband’s service yet. Might I ask why?”
“Oh.” Nessa blinked. “I… I have been meaning to,” she lied. “But I have been rather busy.”
“Too busy for God?”
“That is not what I meant.”
Mrs. Dowshire exhaled sharply through her nose. “See that you make it, and soon. I would hate to think that you are purposefully avoiding his service.” With that said, the vicar’s wife stepped around Nessa and walked away.
Nessa watched her go, and as she did, a cold realization settled on her shoulders that did well to explain everything else that had happened since she set foot in the village.
She looked around again and saw the people watching her. Worse, she saw them talking about her.
Suddenly, Nessa’s good mood vanished like tears in rain. She ducked her head, hunched her shoulders, and raced across the square with her mind set on returning to the castle. As cold and lonely as she often found it, she now longed to be behind its walls.
This village … these people … never had she felt so out of place.
Nessa hurried down the road, turned a corner, and was just about to pass the local tavern when the front doors opened and out walked a familiar face. Two, in fact.
One was a relief to see, and it saw her smile because she needed the familiarity in her life like never before. The other, however, while it ought to have brought her the same sense of joy, had her balking and rearing back, a sudden mind to turn and hurry in the other direction.
She hated that she felt that way … for it should not have been so.
“Miss Kavanagh!” Mr. Loxley beamed when he spotted her. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”
“Mr. Loxley.” Nessa straightened up, fixed a smile on her face, and forced herself to approach. “And Lord Thornwyck …” She glanced at him quickly and looked away. “How lovely to see you both.”
Nessa had not seen Lord Thornwyck since the morning in the garden when she had all but ignored him. She had not wanted to do so, but she felt it was for the best. And while she might have liked to have believed it did not affect the man, she dared another glance and realized that it must have done.
He stood back awkwardly. He was not possessed of the same warmth as Mr. Loxley. And when their eyes met, he was just as quick to avert them as if determined not to look at her.
“What brings you here?” Mr. Loxley asked.
“I …” She shook her head and focused on Mr. Loxley. “I am running some errands.”
“And enjoying the beauty of the …” Mr. Loxley trailed off as he looked to the sky, which was just now beset by storm clouds. They had come from nowhere, and Nessa could not help laughing silently at how prophetic they felt. “Well, it was a beautiful day. Perhaps not so much anymore.”
Silence then found the small group.
Mr. Loxley continued to smile as if he did not notice it, but Nessa felt it like a hand reaching through her chest and strangling her. Not so long ago, she had felt supreme comfort around Lord Thornwyck, and oh, how she had enjoyed his company. But now …
Still, he stood back. Still, he appeared guarded. And still, he could hardly bring himself to look at her.
Did I hurt him? Am I so self-obsessed to think that I even could?
“Where are you headed now?” Mr. Loxley asked.
“I was just about to make my way back to the estate,” she said. “Which I ought to be doing …” She half made to move. “But it was nice seeing …” She trailed off when she noticed movement from the corner of her eye.
It was a rider she saw, racing down the main road straight toward them. He was dressed in colorful livery, and as Nessa did not recognize him, she knew he was not from Thornwyck Hall.
“Mr. Loxley!” the rider cried when he came close. “A message!”
“For me?” Mr. Loxley appeared delighted as he hurried to the rider. “How thrilling.” He took the scroll from the rider, unfurled it, and then groaned. “And so the day darkens.”
“What is it?” Lord Thornwyck asked.
“It is a message from my home,” Mr. Loxley sighed. “A problem with … well, with everything.” He laughed bitterly and shook his head. “Honestly, these renovations are turning into a hassle coupled with a burden.” A click of the tongue. “Alaric, I do so hate to cut our day short …”
“You are leaving?” Lord Thornwyck blurted.
“Alas, I must do.” Mr. Loxley handed the scroll back to the rider and then strode to where his horse stood waiting.
“A good thing then that the two of you found one another.” When he reached his horse, he looked between them both with a knowing smirk.
“Nothing like good company to turn a cloudy day sunny once more.”
Nessa’s cheeks blushed furiously, and she looked at her feet.
Mr. Loxley was then atop his horse, and a moment later, she saw him steering it down the road with the messenger on his tail. And so it was that Nessa was left alone with the one man she wanted so desperately to avoid … even if another part of her screamed the opposite.
She felt him looking at her. There was distance in his stare, a sense of unease that told her he was just as unsure as she was.
“You are heading back?” he asked her.
“I am.” She straightened up and forced herself to look at him. “But it was …” Her voice cracked. “It was lovely to see you, Lord Thornwyck. May you have a pleasant day.”
She waited then … just long enough to see if he might say something else.
As awkward as it was, Nessa found that she was not so desperate to see herself gone from Lord Thornwyck’s presence. Even now, she felt his pull, that desire to speak to him as they once did. She was lonely … she had so few people in her life … and the truth of the matter was that she missed him.
“As I hope you do.” He looked right at her, and despite everything, she saw the truth of it in his eyes. He was not angry at her. He was not upset. In fact, he looked lost, which was a feeling she knew too well.
She offered him a final soft smile, wanting him to see that she did not begrudge him. Then she turned, only for a great big, wet raindrop to splash into her left eye.
“Oh!” she cried out.
“Miss Kavanagh?” Lord Thornwyck swept toward her. “What happened?”
She laughed at how silly it was. “It is nothing. Just a drop of rain that – oh!” Another struck her in the face. And then another. She looked to the heavens as the clouds above swirled and clashed as if doing battle.
The rain started to fall, still soft and without any menace, but she knew that would not last.
“I best hurry,” she said. “I feel this storm is going to get far worse before it gets better.”
Lord Thornwyck’s brow furrowed as he eyed the impending storm. His lips pressed together. Then, with a firm nod of his head, he strode toward his horse.
“You!” He pointed at a young boy who idled by the tavern. “My horse. See it to the estate at once.”
“My Lord?” the boy blinked.
“Need I repeat myself?” Lord Thornwyck took the reins and held them out for the boy to take.
“N – no, My Lord!” The boy snatched the reins. “I will see it done.”
“Good.” He then strode to Nessa, who gaped. “What is that look, Miss Kavanagh?”
“I …” She forced herself to close her mouth. “What are you doing?”
“I cannot in good conscience let you walk home in the rain,” he said to her. The distance in his stare faded, as did the loneliness. And for the first time, he looked at her as he once did.
It was a look that made her feel warm. It was a look that made her feel seen. Most of all, it was a look that reminded her of why she had always felt so comfortable around him. Just like that, the awkwardness vanished, replaced by that friendliness and ease of peace she missed so much.
And while Nessa had been at pains to avoid Lord Thornwyck, she found then that she could not remember the reason. Nor did she want to.
“How gallant.” She chuckled as the rain started to fall.
“I do have my moments.” He laughed as he offered her his arm. “Shall we? I cannot stop the rain from falling, but perhaps I can direct some of its anger onto me?”
“Only some?” She raised an eyebrow.
He laughed. “Come now, do not make me regret this.”
Nessa took his arm, and she felt its effect immediately. He could not cover her from the rain any more than he could stop the storm. But being by his side, being in his protection and his company, was like a cloak thrown over her shoulders that made the falling rain feel almost irrelevant.
Oh, how she had missed this. And oh, how she was glad that it was back.